


The Arrangement

by LittleSweetCheeks



Category: Madam Secretary
Genre: Angst, Emotional Roller Coaster, Multi, Romance, Secret Relationship, Sexy Times, Threesome - F/F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:33:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 57
Words: 113,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27321268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleSweetCheeks/pseuds/LittleSweetCheeks
Summary: Back at the CIA, Henry called it her harem.
Relationships: Elizabeth McCord/Henry McCord, Elizabeth McCord/Henry McCord/Nadine Tolliver, Elizabeth McCord/Nadine Tolliver, Nadine Tolliver/Henry McCord
Comments: 301
Kudos: 54





	1. Chapter 1

Nadine was settled into the overly plush sofa, her shoes off and one foot tucked under her. Her hand cradled the heavy globe of a glass of red wine, the heady smell intoxicating. She tried her best to appear casual and relaxed, but she had no idea why she’d been invited here, to a hotel suite, of all places.

Across the room, she watched as Elizabeth fidgeted with a plate of small finger foods and she could see in her movements how nervous she was. The whole thing so far had her curious. In the few months she had known her, Nadine had already worked out that fancy wine and dainty food wasn’t the other woman’s style. No, Elizabeth had been raised as a blue-blood Virginian, but she was a country girl. More meat, potatoes, and beer, though Nadine had no idea how she maintained her figure, than caviar and champagne.

“Hungry?” Elizabeth’s voice brought her out of her musings, and she countered her nervous grin with a relaxed smile.

“I could eat.” She started to rise, but Elizabeth was bringing a plate of assorted options to her. “Oh, thank you.”

“My pleasure.”

Settling the plate in her lap, Nadine looked it over and something occurred to her. The choices on it were all things she liked. It felt as if it weren’t random, but intentionally chosen and she wasn’t sure yet about how that should be interpreted.

Should it be interpreted as anything at all?

With her own plate and glass in hand, Elizabeth joined her on the couch, sitting close enough that her leg was against Nadine’s knee. “I’m glad you agreed to do this.”

Nadine swallowed another mouthful of red. “Why wouldn’t I?” She shifted her glance to the blonde, catching a hint of pink on her cheeks. “Elizabeth…” She debated being so forward. “What is this about? This is lovely but… I suppose it just feels like there are other intentions buried around here somewhere.”

Silence overtook the suite. Elizabeth didn’t answer either way and Nadine didn’t press until they’d both finished eating. It was Elizabeth who stood and moved their plates and glasses back to the table before crossing the room out of view.

Nadine was startled when fingers landed on her shoulder; walking _one two three_ before pulling away as Elizbeth retook her seat. “I wanted to talk to you.” If possible, she looked more nervous now than before. “I had a question and… you seem pretty open to different things so…” She cleared her throat. “Henry and I had an arrangement when I was with The Company. I would leave for days at a time and sometimes, while I was gone…” She ducked her head a moment but when she looked back up, Nadine stared as blue eyes stared deep into her. “If the need came up, I would sleep with certain other people… Coworkers. It was, is… We’re open about our relationship. I mean, sometimes Henry really likes to watch, but only if the other person is agreeable to it. And…” She trailed off, her eyes glancing away as she chewed her lip. “I’m realizing now just how many late nights there will be with my job and how many trips we’ll take.”

“It is a lot.” She couldn’t help agreeing to that.

“Henry suggested I reach out and build myself a similar arrangement now as I had within The Company.”

It took a moment for Nadine to follow what Elizabeth was asking for. “You want a sexual relationship? W- With me?”

“Not just you… ideally. But I thought, since you had no problem having a secret relationship with Marsh, that maybe you would be a good place to start with the staff I inherited.”

Nadine stood and paced away from her and then back. “Are you serious?”

“You can say no.”

“No!” Her eyes were wide, shocked they were even having this conversation. She paced away again.

“Okay.”

Nadine whirled around at that and stared at her. “That’s it?”

Elizabeth shrugged. “I figured some of you will say no. It’s only natural. Even after saying yes, I know sometimes I’ll get a no… It’s why I have always asked more than one person.” Nadine watched her chew her lip. “Contrary to what a few people believe, I’m actually pretty used to being told no and… in my public life I know I often push back at that, but in my personal life?” Her curled hair bounced as she shook her head fervently. “Never.”

Hovering near the window, Nadine tried to make heads or tails of what had just been said… and how it’d been said. In her periphery, she watched as Elizabeth stood to tidy the leftover food and wine and then retake a seat on the couch. “Elizabeth…” The face that turned up toward her was open, almost innocent looking. “I think I need to ask some questions before I make up my mind.”

“I understand.” Elizabeth’s hands raised up an inch from the cushions a moment, palms up. “I’m an open book.”

She turned back to the window and spoke with the other woman behind her. “What has this… arrangement… looked like in the past?”

“Well, normally I don’t do this part myself. Other people find it very overwhelming. I usually have a friend, an acquaintance, bridge the gap for me to see if there is interest. I just thought, since your relationship with Marsh was secret, that you might be more comfortable without the third-party approach.”

She was startled by how observant Elizabeth was in that. “Thank you for that.”

“As for the actual act… well… Either person can ask for time together and either person can say no. I’ve had partners who were fine with the others knowing their identity and partners who wanted to be kept secret.” Nadine caught a small sigh. “From me, anything asked or said in those moments in one hundred percent honest unless it violates confidentiality. I hope that I receive that in kind.”

“And Henry really is fine with it?”

“We can’t go out into the world and explore our fantasies like other people. Not with any job either of us have had.” She heard fabric rustling against fabric and then soft footfalls. When Elizabeth spoke again, her voice was much closer. “On the odd occasion, a partner even comes home for the evening for more than just dinner and wine, though now that would probably be harder to keep under the radar.”

“Wha- what kind of encounters…”

“With women… usually cuddling, kissing, petting… It’s often more about comfort and connection though at times I can be persuaded to do much more.”

Finally, Nadine turned around, putting her back to the window. “And so, we met up here tonight because…”

“Privacy to have this conversation… And to allow the opportunity for a test drive.”

Her brows knit together. “You were that certain?”

“No. I was that hopeful.” She chewed her lip again. “We seem to finally be hitting it off, you and I. I don’t want to ruin that, but you… I can’t deny how beautiful you are, smart, funny… If you say no, then I’ll wait for answers from the others.”

“You’ve asked the whole team?”

“You are the ones I will be around the most, yes. I expect Jay to be a no, of course. I don’t see him getting a green light from Abby and I don’t do anything with someone who is married unless I personally get full consent.”

“I see.” She had no idea what to think about that. “Can I ask about prior partners?”

“I can’t divulge names, but… I had several during my time at CIA. Henry called them my harem.” Nadine caught a flicker of a smile. “Even at UVA, we explored having other partners, though it was different because we obviously had one another every day.” She stepped closer, so they were side by side at the window. “We can call Henry if you want to be sure he’s aware. In fact, if we did do more tonight, I would have to send him the code first, so he knows. Nothing is ever secret from him.”

“Who- who knows we’re here?”

Elizabeth shrugged one shoulder. “My detail, obviously. Henry. The room itself is a bit of tradecraft- if anyone digs, it’s reserved to a headhunter for a shell corporation.”

Crossing the room in search of her glass of wine, Nadine debated. It was stupid. Potentially career suicide. Sleeping with two different, married, Secretaries of State? Her track record of sleeping with married men wasn’t something she was proud of but this… Was she moving on to married women now? Was this the kind of life she wanted to live?

At least this time no one could accuse her of sleeping her way into the job… Though now she had serious questions about Elizabeth’s placement as Secretary. Maybe, though, this was all she deserved. A life in the shadows.

“Text Henry.”

Elizabeth’s face lit up. “Really?”

She shrugged. “Sure, why not.”

=MS=

Nadine curled into the cool sheets, still naked, and let her mind wander. Beside her, Elizabeth dozed quietly. Adjusting her pillows, she stared at her face as she slept. There was no denying Elizabeth was a beautiful woman and now, relaxed, she looked so much younger. Now she wasn’t Secretary of State, she was just Elizabeth. Or maybe even just Bess, the somewhat grating nickname the President used, and Russell Jackson was already starting to pick up on. “Bess.” She tried it out quietly, but it felt odd on her tongue; heavy and clunky. “Liz.” She smiled at that one.

Reaching across the space between them, she carded her fingers into Elizabeth’s hair, tucking it behind her ear and rousing her at the same time.

“Hey. You didn’t run away.” Blue eyes opened.

“No. I didn’t.”

“Come here and kiss me?”

Nadine smiled, sliding across, and pressing her lips to Elizabeth’s. When she pulled away, she cupped her cheek. “Could I call you Liz?”

“I would love that.”


	2. Chapter 2

Nadine anxiously stared into the middle distance; eyes unseeing of the wide table before her as she worried the pen in her hand. Her mind was busy, though not on work. She played over and over on and endless loop that night three weeks ago in bed with her boss. In bed with Liz.

The phone call with Henry had taken longer than she’d expected. He’d wanted to be certain she understood there was no obligation, no pressure, but as soon as the line had disconnected, her nerves had set in.

It had been years since she’d started a new relationship and she hadn’t been quite sure what to do with a woman’s body. Elizabeth, Liz she reminded herself again, had taken the lead. She’d pulled her gently into a soft kiss, on hand falling to her hip while the other cupped the back of her head. Nadine had mimicked the position, holding them together.

The entire evening had been rather tame. While they’d gotten naked and eventually into bed, there had been no rush to get one another off. No haste to find release, though they did find it in the end. It played over in her mind, the feeling of Elizabeth’s hands easing under the sides of her shirt, guiding it up until she was free from it. When she closed her eyes, she could still see the soft smile when Elizabeth had discovered a camisole in place of a bra. She could feel a hand on her breast, massaging, then a mouth, tongue warm and wet through silk.

She could still hear herself gasp.

“Nadine?”

“Hm?” She blinked, looked up at Jay. “Sorry?”

“Anything else to add?”

“Uh, no. I think you covered everything.”

She watched him nod, unconvinced, but thankfully he let it go.

One everyone was dismissed; Nadine cautiously tracked her way into Elizabeth’s office.

The blonde noticed her slipping through the door and offered a smile. “What’s up?”

She felt her skin begin to flush. “I was wondering if perhaps there would be time in your schedule for a meeting this evening… To talk… Your, uh, your unofficial schedule.”

Elizabeth looked up at her over her glasses, her hands slowing but not stopping shifting paperwork on the desk. “I see. Unfortunately, I have a prior engagement tonight.”

“Oh.” She tried not to sound disappointed. “I understand.” She pulled her gaze away.

“How about lunch tomorrow?”

“Pardon?” When she looked up again, her boss was wearing a small, hopeful smile.

“My preliminary schedule has an hour free for lunch tomorrow. If it stays, how about we take lunch together?”

“Are you sure?”

“Why not? A private lunch with my Chief of Staff? No one will bat an eye.”

“Of course.” She shook her head. Their normal lives provided plenty of cover, she knew that. “Lunch then.” Nadine started to turn away and then hesitated. “This engagement tonight…”

She watched Elizabeth lick her lip before lifting her face to look at her squarely. “It is to explore the potential of expanding the arrangement we discussed.”

“I see.” She let out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. “Well… Good luck then.”

=MS=

“Are you planning on eating it or just sorting it by ingredient?”

“I’m sorry?” Her head snapped up to find Elizabeth, _Liz_ , she mentally reminded herself, grinning at her. “I’m…” She sighed.

“Nervous.” Elizabeth supplied, understanding in her voice. “I get it.” Nadine watched as blue eyes raked over her. “What were you wanting to talk to me about?”

“Huh.” She bit her lip a moment, averting her eyes. “I guess I just wasn’t sure what to expect. It’s been… almost a month since we talked. I guess, based on past experience, I was expecting to hear back sooner… Much sooner.” She carried on shifting salad around until a hand covered hers, stilling it and guiding it to the table.

“Sometimes I don’t reach out for months.” When Nadine looked up, it was to see Elizabeth’s eyes searching her over. “I didn’t want to push or overwhelm you. Plus, life has been mostly boring this month. Can I… Can I ask something?”

“Sure.”

“The thing you had before… was it on his terms or mutual?”

“I, uh…” She had to think about that. Looking back now, she could see she was always just waiting for him to insist on her attention. He wanted and she obliged. The thought of what that made her, made her throat close up and she had to force herself to draw a breath. They’d all been the same if she were honest. She waited and they called on her when they wanted her and ignored her when it wasn’t convenient. The hand squeezed hers and she looked up.

“It’s okay. This… This isn’t like that, okay?”

“I’m in the same position.”

“Yes and no.” She finally pulled her hand back and gestured to the table. “You asked to talk, here we are. I am here for you, Nadine. I get something out of that too and… I’ll never outright say no. I might have to say not now, but never no. Not without a discussion anyway.” Nadine felt her study her a moment. “Did you want to get together again?”

She wasn’t sure how to answer that, so instead she asked a question of her own. “How was your engagement last night?”

Elizabeth smiled. “Good. Not quite as…thorough, as ours. But it ended positively.”

“Are they… Do they want it kept secret?”

“Do you want to know who they are?”

Nadine had to think about that. “I’m not sure. It might change how I see them.”

“It could.”

“Is it someone you will see often?”

Blue eyes found hers again. “I’m not sure. Some engagements are more about a specific moment or need.” Her hand found Nadine’s again. “Others are for more.”

“And what am I?”

“I think you’ll be more.” Her smile turned playful. “What does your schedule look like for dinner Saturday? The kids are all off at friends’ houses this weekend.”

“I- I think it’s clear.”


	3. Chapter 3

Both Henry and Elizabeth had spent the entire evening acting as if it were totally normal to have her over and quickly, Nadine found her nerves settling down. She wasn’t sure what she’d expected to happen, but a laid back, fun evening filled with friendly banter and delicious food hadn’t quite been it.

Elizabeth was clearing the table and asking about more wine when Henry checked his watch and stood, tugging her closer by one hand as he pecked a kiss to her lips. “I need to get going, Babe, if I’m going to make it on time.”

“Sure.” Elizabeth smiled.

“Wait, you’re leaving?”

Henry smiled at his wife as she left the room before pulling his attention to her. “Catching a movie. You two don’t need me around tonight. Maybe- Maybe in the future, but in our experience, having me hovering in the next room kind of kills the moment.”

She blinked. “I see. I just… I guess I thought you would’ve been the type to want to know what is going on.”

“Oh, he is.” Elizabeth appeared in the doorway wearing a smirk. “After you leave, he’ll want to know every little detail.” She crossed to Henry. “He’ll want me to talk him through what we did.”

Realization crept in. “You use it as roleplay.”

They both nodded, but Elizabeth replied. “Does that bother you?”

“No.” It really didn’t.

Once Henry was gone, the house was quiet. Elizabeth returned to the dining room and stood by her chair, offering her hand to Nadine to pull her up. A soft smile curled Elizabeth’s lips as a hand threaded into Nadine’s hair and she pulled her close, brushing their lips together in a breathy, feather-light kiss. “Can I sit you on this table?”

“To make out, sure.” Nadine agreed, rising on her toes as Elizabeth helped her shimmy backward. It only gave her another inch or two, but somehow it made them both be able to touch so much more. Hands roaming, they carried on kissing until they finally had to pull away for air.

“Kick your shoes off before you hop down, don’t want you rolling an ankle. We’ll head upstairs where we can take off whatever we wish.” Elizabeth backed up a few steps. “We’ll see where things lead.”

Once her shoes were off, she took Elizabeth’s hand and allowed herself to be led up to the master bedroom and to the edge of the bed.

“Let me help you.” Elizabeth’s hands were at her waist, pulling the shirt slowly up her body until she pulled free. “A bra tonight.” She pouted. “And here I was hoping the cami was a regular thing.”

“More often than perhaps I’d like to admit.”

“Hm.” Elizabeth pulled her close, quickly finding the clasp and tugging the bra away. “You don’t need it.” Her hands landed on Nadine’s breasts. “A perk, I suppose.”

“Especially in the winters.” She took her turn, catching the hem of Elizabeth’s cotton t-shirt and tugging it up and off. “May- may I?” Her eyes were on the thin cotton of her bra, she could make out the placement of her nipples through the single layer of fabric.

“Of course.”

She still wasn’t entirely certain what she was doing, but Nadine decided to copy what she liked having done and leaned in, sucking through the fabric until Elizabeth arched back. Once it sounded like she needed a moment to breathe, Nadine switched to the other side, offering it just as much attention. Hands fisted in her hair and a small moment of panic flared as she was pressed harder into Elizabeth’s breast, but it dropped away quickly.

When she pulled away, they were both panting. “I- I’m not sure what…”

“Just do what feels good.” God, she loved that smile on Elizabeth’s face. “How about we lose the rest of these clothes and figure it out in the bed?” She began to push her pants and underwear down, leaving her completely naked as she crawled up the bed and spread out on her back. “Come up here, Nadine. You can explore first.”

She nodded, then felt embarrassed for having done it, and rushed to strip the remainder of the way, following Elizabeth up the mattress but settling at her feet.

“Close your eyes.” She was instructed. “Think of what you would like to have done to you.”

Nadine had to think on that. It was a rare encounter when anyone had ever asked her what she wanted and even then, she’d known the right answer had to be replying with something they would enjoy. Opening her eyes again, she took Elizabeth’s left foot in her hands, holding firm as her thumbs applied pressure and slid up the arch of her foot. Elizabeth arched back, stretching out and somehow getting longer as a soft ‘ _ahh_ ’ ghosted out.

She carried on the small massage, making sure to give attention to her whole foot, toe to heel, before working up her calf. At her knee, she switched sides and repeated the motions. “After a long day… a long week… of wearing dress shoes, especially heels, I dream of having a good massage. I dream of being able to just get rid of that tension and maybe… maybe it would help ease the rest.” When she was done, she laid her foot back on the bed. “I used to wear the kinds of shoes you do all the time. I can’t anymore.”

“I probably shouldn’t.” Elizabeth put one hand out. “Come closer.”

She crawled up further; legs spread either side of her as she moved. There before her, open to her, was the other woman’s center. Curiosity won out over lingering nerves and she placed her right thumb over her clit, applying pressure as she rolled it in a small circle.

“More of that.”

Nadine couldn’t help the small smile, but obliged. With her left hand, she began to explore her body, losing herself in her concentration as she brushed her fingers around, then dipping one in. It was like an experiment. Her finger vanished effortlessly into soft, wet heat as her thumb kept the small circles going. She added a second and then a third, watching and listening to the changes in Elizabeth’s breathing and the way she writhed on the bed.

The strokes were out of rhythm. Elizabeth ground down on her hand and Nadine looked up to see she had one hand pressed against the headboard, giving her the resistance. “Liz.” She shook her head with the other woman looked down in surprise. “No rushing it.”

The hand pulled away as she groaned. “God, I should’ve known you’d be sadistic.”

“Complaining?” She slowed her hands.

“No! Not complaining at all.” She panted. “Say my name again.”

“Liz… It suits you when you’re like this, I think. Liz…” She let it linger and draw out that time. “It just stretches on forever until it fades, much like you seem to do when something feels good.” She added pressure with her thumb, making her arch.

“Are you sure you’ve never done this before?”

“Not to anyone but myself.” She felt Elizabeth’s instant reaction pulse against her hand. “You liked that?”

“You can show me one day.” Her hips shifted. “I love your hands, but they’re so small.” Nadine saw a blush flame up her cheeks. “Sorry. That’s… that sounded horrible.”

“I’m hardly offended to hear my hands are smaller than Henry’s.” She chuckled, shifting what she was doing with her hands. There was something powerful in watching the woman before her pant and shift under her ministrations. She sped up her thumb and savored the feeling as Elizabeth began to fall apart.

When it seemed the tremors were calming, Nadine pulled away carefully, cognizant of how sensitive Elizabeth would be.

“Bathroom is through there is you want to wash your hands. Grab a towel and bring it back?”

“Of course.” She was surprised, as she crawled off the bed, at how aroused she felt already when nothing had been done to her body yet.

She stepped back into the bedroom to find Elizabeth had pushed up, so she was half propped on the pillows.

“Do you want to explore some more, or do you want me touch you?” The heat in her gaze made Nadine blush, unsure how to answer. “Come lay up here, let me show you what I can do.”

=MS=

A hand brushed along her side, making her stir. At some point after they’d spooned together, exhaustion taking over, a blanket had been pulled over their bodies. “Hm.”

The hand skimmed up her skin, smoothing back her hair. “Henry is back. He wasn’t sure if you would be okay with him coming up here while you’re naked and still in bed.”

She blinked several times to work away the fog brought on by a short doze. “It’s his room.”

She could feel the way Elizabeth’s chest moved against her back as she chuckled. “Until you leave, it’s our room. Unless you say it’s okay.” She felt Elizabeth push up and then a kiss was being placed below her ear. “It wouldn’t be anything, just conversation and getting cleaned up. Saying goodnight.” The hand that had been taming her curls pulled away, slipping down to massage her breast and then dip temptingly along the join of her thighs.

“You keep that up and it will be something.”

“Would you want it to be something?” She could hear the hope in her voice.

“Not tonight… Not yet.” She tried to roll on her back so she could see her face, but Elizabeth didn’t pull away. “He can come in though. Any apprehension about other people seeing my body vanished decades ago when I was a dancer.”

“You were a dancer?” There was intrigue now. “That explains a lot.” The hand pulled away and then Elizabeth slipped from the bed and padded naked to the doorway, calling down to her husband to let him know he could come up. Nadine watched from her burrow under the covers as he appeared, pulling his wife close and curving her body to his as he kissed her. It was easy to see how much they loved one another, how much he adored her. The kiss deepened and it felt almost inappropriate to keep watching.

Henry finally pulled away, still holding his wife close as his attention shifted to the bed. “Was the evening good?”

Nadine paused, surprised. “Yes. It was lovely.”


	4. Chapter 4

She turned the page and continued reading, using the tip of her pen to keep her place in the painfully dry government document.

Nadine was nearly alone, curled sideways, shoes off, on the couch in Elizabeth’s suite. The rest of the staff had already retired for the evening, but she’d stayed. Eventually, after another three pages, Elizabeth wandered out from the bedroom dressed in pajamas and curled onto the cushion beside her. Before Nadine even realized what she was doing, Elizabeth’s hand was on her shoulder and Nadine shrugged it away, caught up in the binder on her lap.

Without comment, Elizabeth pulled back, collected her own binder, pen, and glasses and mirrored Nadine’s position and began reading.

“I’m sorry.”

“Hm?” Elizabeth didn’t even glance up. Didn’t sound irritated or angry, but still Nadine persisted.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to shrug you off.”

“Okay… It’s not a big deal.” Nadine could hear in her tone that it wasn’t a big deal, but somewhere inside her, a little voice chided that it really was.

She edged the binder shut and shifted it to the floor, shifting forward, up and over her own feet, until she’s nearly in Elizabeth’s lap. “If you want to do something, I’m here for you.”

Finally, Elizabeth looked up and blue eyes peering at her through reading glasses, braced below by a warm smile, almost enough to ease the growing worry that she’s screwed up. “I’m glad you stayed. I’m used to having Henry and the kids around in the evenings and I know you would think I’d be thankful for a night of quiet, but really, I hate it. If you’re done killing braincells with that report, we can order room service and find a movie.” Her attention then returned to the heavy report in her own lap. Absently, she added more. “Whenever it’s Daisy’s turn to pick dinner, I always end up ordering room service later. I’m sure I’d be healthier if I ate like that, but I just need more.” She chuckled to herself.

Nadine stayed perched in place, arm bracing her against the back of the couch. The past few minutes had not gone the way she’d expected, but maybe Elizabeth was playing the long game. She unfolded and stood, searching for the menu and scanning it over. The hotel had a five-star restaurant off the lobby, so the choices were luxurious and a bit expensive. She had just decided which decadence could turn the night back in her favor when the other woman spoke up again.

“I don’t suppose they have cheese fries or… onion rings, maybe? Something greasy. Oh! How about hot wings?”

She looked up, trying to decide if she was serious. “I’m sure they’ll have anything you ask for.”

“Ask, and then whatever you want, obviously.”

It only took Nadine a few minutes to get the order placed and then she turned back to the couch, shedding her blazer and working the buttons of her shirt apart. “Hey.” She whispered to catch the other woman’s attention once she was back to the couch. “It’ll be half an hour… we have time.” She reached out, trying for seductive as she ran a finger along Elizabeth’s knee.

Elizabeth looked up, slightly bewildered. “What?”

“I’m sorry for pulling away before.”

“Oh. It’s fine.” Her eyes returned to the page and Nadine stood rooted to the spot, baffled.

“I thought you wanted to do… something.”

“Thought about it, but you clearly weren’t in the mood.” She shrugged.

“So?” It’d never stopped previous partners before.

Finally, the binder closed and landed on the floor. “Nadine… sit.” Once she’d complied, Elizabeth took her hands. “You were working, reading. I wasn’t sure how focused you were, so I tried and you were busy. It’s no big deal.” She shook her head, loose hair curling around to frame her face. “I have zero expectations.”

“I-”

“Come here.” Elizabeth tugged her hand as her feet came out from under her, pulling Nadine to lay against her chest as she laid back. “You don’t have to be up for anything just because you chose to stick around tonight. I am perfectly happy just sitting beside you and reading paperwork… Well… I’m never all that happy reading paperwork, but it’s nice having you beside me.” She lapsed into silence and Nadine allowed herself to relax, resting her head against Elizabeth’s shoulder. “This is pretty good right here, actually.”

Nadine hummed in agreement. They stayed there quietly until a knock sounded on the door. “Probably room service.” She pushed up and padded across to answer it. Once the door was closed again, Nadine turned. “I’m sorry for reacting like that. I suppose I’m used to being expected to give in when my partner is wanting affection.”

“In that case, they weren’t your partner.” Elizabeth crossed to the containers of food. “There are times I’m not up for being touched, for one reason or another. Then there are days I’m desperate for some kind of connection. And over twenty years of marriage has taught me how to let go of my own ego.” The sight of onion rings made her face light up. “I can admit, I am often exceptionally clingy, especially when my job gets difficult. The expectation that my partner may not be at the same place I am in a given moment is part of why Henry and I have the agreement we do.”

Nadine turned as Elizabeth carried the plate to the couch, following her with her eyes.

“I wasn’t looking for some big night of passion.” A smile flashed across her face. “But picking back up the snuggling on the couch after we eat might be nice.”

It did sound nice. “After we eat then.”

=MS=

Eventually, they’d moved from the couch to the bed. Nadine had forgone Elizabeth’s spare pair of pajamas for simply snuggling into her arms in her underwear. It was plenty warm enough being the little spoon.

“What would you think…” Elizabeth started behind her in the dark. “On future trips, when I have a two-room suite or an adjoining room, you take it instead of Blake?”

Her brows knit together. “Wouldn’t he question the change?” So far in Elizabeth’s short tenure, any such available room was automatically taken by her assistant.

“No. He’d understand.”

She rolled over enough to see her. “Understand? You and he…”

“Huh? Oh, no. God no. He’s almost like a son to me. He is aware though, of the types of arrangements.” She drew a breath. “And he has approached others on my behalf.”

Nadine couldn’t help teasing her. “Ah, so he’s your pimp.”

Elizabeth burst into laughter a moment before calming. “Yes.” She pulled Nadine close, pressing a kiss to her cheek. “He’s actually called it that before. Normally with a frown and a bit of a petulant pout.”

“So, he knows about you and I then.”

“Yes. It’s not so bad though. He’s pretty good at the whole ‘nothing to see here’ act, so if anyone were to ever get nosy, he’d get them to move along.”

Nadine considered that for a few minutes. “I’m not sure how I feel about that. About him knowing.”

“Well, I don’t know if it will help or not, but he was the one who set up the room the evening we first had our talk. He did ask why I was going to you directly, but I didn’t give him an answer and he didn’t press.”

“I see.” The conversation lapsed and she felt herself starting to drift off, warm and comfortable, until Elizabeth rubbed her arm.

“Don’t fall asleep here.”


	5. Chapter 5

They were all waiting by the concierge desk in the hotel lobby as the clerk programmed room keys, handing them to Blake who then passed them out, taking one of Elizabeth’s for himself. When he handed Nadine her key, there was a pleased look in his eyes that made her tip her head to the side in silent question. When they all got to the right floor, Nadine realized why. She was in the suite with Elizabeth, just like it had been discussed on the last trip.

“We’ll have a meeting in twenty.” Elizabeth called to the others before entering and shutting the door, dropping her bags inside the bigger bedroom. “Nervous?” She asked.

“Maybe a little? Vincent was never so bold as to have me room with him.”

“Technically, you have your own room.”

“True.” She left her own things in the second room and crossed the open space to wrap her arms around Elizabeth’s waist. “But we still have everyone coming in and out.”

“But not yet.” Elizabeth pulled her into a kiss. “I could use a minute to just stand like this.”

She allowed the hug to linger. “Where did you say Henry was again?”

There was a small chuckle. “California. Actual California this time, not Company cover story California. He’s doing a guest lecture circuit at some of the bases.”

“Right.” She remembered that now. When Elizabeth let go, she stepped back. “Well, I should sort out my things before the others turn up.”

“Of course.”

=MS=

It was late. Nadine finally tucked the paperwork she was handling away and padded through the suite to get changed and then find Elizabeth. The sound of voices drew her to her room where it looked like she was on a video chat.

Elizabeth noticed her almost immediately and looked up with a grin. “Hey! Come in.” She patted the bed beside her. “Henry was just telling me about his day.”

“Are you sure?” She hesitated.

“Come here.” She giggled, already arranging pillows so Nadine could crawl up and recline beside her. Once she was settled, Elizabeth balanced the laptop so they were both visible.

“Hello, Nadine.” Henry greeted. “How was your day?”

“About the same as Elizabeth’s. And yours?”

There was a small chuckle. “Well… Some of these young officers are pretty convinced they have all the answers when it comes to international relations.”

“Ah. To be young.”

“To be clueless and dangerous.”

“I’m sure you were just like them, Henry.”

That made him laugh. “You’re probably right.” She settled back against Elizabeth’s shoulder as he told them about one of the officers he’d spoken to that day. His voice was soothing after a stressful day and she let her eyes drift shut as he and Elizabeth talked.

The next thing she remembered was Elizabeth shifting and then a soft chuckle as she spoke. “I think you’re right, Henry.” She heard Elizabeth say softly. “I think you talked her to sleep.”

“You both work too hard. Get some sleep, Babe. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“Good night. I love you.”

“Love you too.” The computer beeped softly as Nadine tried to wake herself up further, turning her head into Elizabeth’s shoulder. “Are you settled for the night?”

“Hm.” Nadine hummed, reluctant to pull her eyes open. “Not quite, actually.”

“I need to brush my teeth and sort out a few things. You’re welcome to come back in here if you want.” Elizabeth climbed off the bed, leaving the laptop on the dresser.

After a moment, Nadine dragged herself back to her room to finish getting ready for bed, debating before gathering her phone charger and glasses, stopping for a drink before padding back to Elizabeth’s room.

The blonde was already on the bed again, this time with a bottle of lotion open as she massaged it into her feet. “Want some?” She waved a hand at the bottle. “It smells good, lilacs or something.”

She chuckled as she took the other side of the bed, copying Elizabeth’s position. “Sure.” She held a hand out and waited for some to be squeezed into her palm before copying her actions. “This is nice.”

“So, while you were asleep, Henry suggested getting tickets to a concert or something, the three of us. I know next month there’s a ballet having a number of performances and the reviews are wonderful.” She finished rubbing the last of the lotion into her hands and then moved back, adjusting the blankets. “We could get dinner reservations somewhere expensive and make an evening of it.”

The suggestion surprised her. “I- I suppose that sounds nice.” She finished what she was doing and slipped under the covers as well. “I haven’t been to a live performance in…” She had to think. “Almost two years it’s been.”

“I’ll let him know tomorrow then.”

“He really didn’t mind me interrupting your call earlier?”

“No. Oh!” She sat up again, reaching for her phone. “He sent me a picture after you went to your room.” She turned the phone around, revealing what had been a screenshot of what Henry had seen of them. Elizabeth must’ve been laughing when he’d taken it and Nadine was asleep against her shoulder. “I’ll delete it from my phone, but he wanted to save it hard copy if that’s okay. He thought it was a nice shot of us.”

“I- I suppose it’s okay.”

“He can print you one as well.” Then she nodded to herself, putting the phone away. “I’ll tell him to make you one.” She shifted back onto her back, putting one arm out until Nadine curled into her side.

=MS=

Nadine stretched, reaching for her phone to check the time before her eyes were even fully open. It was still early so she snuggled back into Elizabeth’s arms.

“Morning.” Elizabeth spoke against her hair.

“Morning. I should probably be getting up soon.”

“A few more minutes. I shut and locked the door just in case.”

“Of?”

“In case our resident early bird came in early. I doubt he will without texting first, but sometimes he’s rattling around before five in the morning, so I didn’t want to take any chances of him surprising you.” Elizabeth tugged her onto her back and grinned before pecking a kiss to her cheek. “We have an afternoon free today, would you like to spend it together?”

“Doing?”

She shrugged one shoulder. “The city is beautiful. We could find somewhere to walk that my detail won’t have an aneurism about.”

She thought for a moment. “That sounds nice.”

“Okay.” Elizabeth beamed. “I’ll see what I can arrange.”

Nadine tossed the covers back and moved toward her door, opening it and peeking out just in case. She was almost to her own room when she realized she could smell coffee and whipped around, fearing she’d missed not being alone. She was, however, save for two steaming to-go cups of coffee and a pastry box. Looking for a clock, she realized it was still quite early. “Liz.” She called back to the other room.

“Yes?” Filtered out.

“Your early bird has been by with coffee and possibly donuts.” When Elizabeth popped into the doorway with a grin, she laughed. “I’m going to go get dressed.”

An hour later, Nadine was seated at the table, a file spread out as she worked on her coffee and breakfast when Blake let himself into the suite.

“Good morning, Nadine.” He greeted as if it were any other morning. “I have today’s schedule when you’re ready to go over it.” His eyes scanned the room. “Is the Secretary up and about or does she need prodding?”

She smiled at him. “She’s up. I believe she is on the phone though.” She paused a moment. “Thank you for the coffee.”

He turned to her before glancing toward Elizabeth’s room and then taking a seat. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“I- I didn’t think before bringing it in. I’m so used to coming and going in her suite normally that I kind of… forgot.” He frowned. “I hope I didn’t wake you with the door.” He gestured toward the main entrance that was next to the room her things were in. It probably would have woken her up… if she’d been in her bed. But both bedroom doors had been closed, so he wouldn’t have known that room was empty.

“It’s okay. It didn’t wake me.”

“Good.” He looked relieved as he switched gears back to work.

“Good morning, Blake.” Elizabeth greeted when she stepped out of her room.

“Good morning, Ma’am.” He held out sheets of paper. “The updated schedule plus the summary you asked for yesterday. Jay is into it this morning with the Minister’s Chief of Staff, so he may be late to the briefing.”

“Okay. Hopefully he gets somewhere.” She crossed to the coffee and pastries. “I hope you didn’t have to go to far to find these.”

The look on his face told them both he wouldn’t admit it if he had. “I asked downstairs about their breakfast options and their baked goods seemed a bit lacking.”

“Ha! Oh, is Matt or Frank in the hall?” She gestured to the door with her coffee.

“Frank is, Ma’am. Do you need him?”

“Yes, I want to ask him about going out during my down time later today.” Elizabeth placed her breakfast on the table and sat between Blake and Nadine. “I thought it would be nice to get out, take a walk.”

Nadine watched as Blake simply nodded and rose from his seat. “I’ll go get him.”

“Thank you.” Once he stepped out, Elizabeth turned to her. “Good?”

“Sorry?”

“I just wondered if you were good, realizing he came in while we were asleep, I was worried it upset you.”

“Ah. A bit, honestly. But he apologized for not thinking first and didn’t even know I was with you. I had shut the door to my room, so he simply assumed he might’ve disrupted my sleep.”

“I’ll have a talk with him.” She sighed. “I really hope the talks this morning don’t devolve into chaos. I’m looking forward to a bit of a break, we’ve been going like crazy lately.”

=MS=

They were walking side by side through an open park, watching children running along the bank of a large duck pond later that afternoon. “We should schedule walks into every trip if only to decompress for a bit.” Elizabeth smiled. “I checked in with Henry before we came out, he’s going to look at the performance schedule for the ballet. Then we just have to hope the three of us don’t all catch an international crisis for that date.”

Nadine smiled. “I think we can work out how to make the world behave for one night.”

“I hope so.”

She looked around at the agents for a minute before shifting the subject. “You know, when I was with Vincent, I worried a lot about what the DS agents must’ve thought of me. They knew he was married, and they had to know what we were doing. I mean… they accompanied him to the ranch as well, knew when I came and went from his room late at night… Hell, his car might’ve had a divider, but there’s no way they didn’t know what we got up to in the back seat.” A blush crept up at the memory. “And now… And now you have a couple of the same agents he did and what must they really think of me now.”

“They won’t say anything.”

“I know.” She sighed. “But I feel ashamed of this role I’m in. It’s like they’re forever judging me for being the other woman.”

Elizabeth’s pace slowed. “I don’t want you to feel ashamed of this. If… If you’re not comfortable, then we’ll stop or- or take a break and reassess what is happening. I have to admit, I might have let my excitement over you agreeing make me forget to be sure you are still happy with everything.”

“I- I think I could be happy… Can be happy. I guess I’m just not used to this more open type of relationship.”

“I can understand that.” Elizabeth leaned closer, offering her arm, which Nadine took willingly. “And I do know the importance of being careful.” Nadine watched an amused grin light up her face. “When I was teaching, Henry and I each had our own offices. We had a… friend, that would visit from time to time and sometimes she would come to campus with one of us for a day. There was this afternoon, the three of us were having lunch together in my office and just enjoying one another’s company. The friend was sitting across my lap at the desk because that was something she and I enjoyed, we liked the closeness. The door was always locked whenever we were together because we tended to just follow where the moment led us.” She paused, drawing a breath. “Henry stepped out for something to drink and she and I didn’t even think about the door being unlocked so he could get back in. I couldn’t help myself and started kissing her. There was a quick tap on the door and then it opened and we just assumed it was Henry coming back in.”

“It wasn’t?”

Elizabeth shook her head. “We didn’t break apart right away. I had one hand up her shirt before I realized who I thought was Henry was still just standing in the doorway, jaw to the ground. About the time I realized, Henry came back.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah.” She chuckled. “And that’s how Blake became my most favorite student ever. He never batted an eye, simply turned around and walked away. He never said a word to anyone else, never acted any different. He would greet her on campus just as if she were any other person he knew. I barely knew him then so of course I worried he’d try and use it to blackmail me into giving him an A or something.”

“I don’t think I realized he’d been one of your students. I knew he’d gone to grad school at UVA.”

“Yes. He’d done his undergrad in finance, so he had a few core classes to work out first before getting into the program. He asked if I would be his advisor and the rest is history, so to speak. I will admit, to you not him, that his discretion is one of the reasons I offered him the job. I needed to know that my assistant could sit in a room with a world leader or be read in on a crisis happening and could keep it to themselves.” She sighed. “He does normally remember to respect my and anyone I’m with’s privacy a bit better than he did this morning. I am going to talk to him about that, he needs to hear that I want him to back off I think.”

Nadine started to defend Blake’s innocent error, despite how it had made her somewhat uncomfortable knowing he’d been in without her being aware, but then decided better of it.


	6. Chapter 6

Nadine slipped into the back of the SUV, sliding across to the center to let Henry back in behind her. She’d tried to argue against being between them, but he’d insisted she wasn’t going to be the one to open and close the door.

Nestled in the middle, she turned to Elizabeth, bashfully smiling. “You look wonderful.”

“You look pretty amazing as well.” Elizabeth lifted a hand and twirled one of her lose curls around one finger a moment before letting it spring back, dropping her hand to take one of Nadine’s. “So, we have reservations first and then to the theater. We’ll be eating in a private dining area in the back, I guess that’s one perk of my job, right?”

Elizabeth’s grin was contagious. “I suppose it is.” She turned to Henry. “Thank you for setting this up.”

“Hey, it’s no problem at all. It’s not every day I get to take two gorgeous women out for a night on the town.”

She ducked her head at that, only to look up again in surprise when his arm snaked behind her shoulders. It took her a moment to realize he’d reached for his wife, squeezing her shoulder affectionately.

Elizabeth leaned into her, tipping their heads together as if they were young girls sharing a secret. “He tried four different ties tonight and retied that one at least a dozen times. He wasn’t sure whether to try and coordinate to my dress or find out what color you were wearing or just do his own thing.” There was a small giggle before she carried on, her eyes twinkling in Henry’s direction. “I swear, I haven’t seen him so nervous in years.”

“I wasn’t that bad.” He laughed. The banter carried on until they pulled up at the restaurant and then Henry stepped out first, helping her out and then Elizabeth. For the short distance to the private area, Nadine walked alone, watching the couple as they held hands. Once they were in the room and the door closed, it was just the three of them and Elizabeth’s attention shifted to her instead of her husband, extending her hand across the table to take Nadine’s as they looked over the choices.

=MS=

Dinner had been amazing, the wine wonderful, and the first half of the ballet had been stunning. At intermission, Henry stepped out of the box, leaving the two of them alone.

“There’s something I’ve always dreamed of doing if I had box seats.” Nadine was getting used to the way Elizabeth kept leaning into her as if they were constantly sharing a secret.

“What’s that?”

“Once the lights are down and the music starts, I’d love to kiss you.”

“But… won’t someone see?”

“We can only be seen from the stage and the dancers should be focused elsewhere.” She raised her free hand, gently brushing along the curve on Nadine’s jaw with the back of her finger. “It’s one of the few places I’ll be able to get away with kissing you somewhat publicly.” Her hand dropped, that finger tracing for a moment the edge of the sweetheart cut of her strapless gown, grazing the hint of swell of her breast. “I mean, Henry’ll be back by then and I understand if you aren’t comfortable with that.”

“How about we play it by ear.”

“Of course.” She didn’t pull away however and when Henry returned, he found them still tucked together, holding hands. He smiled and retook his seat, willing to lean toward his wife when Elizabeth turned his way to kiss him.

It did something to her head that she was still holding Elizabeth’s hand as she kissed her husband that way. When the house lights dimmed, she tugged gently to get her attention. “We can fulfill that dream of yours if you wish.” No sooner had the words left her mouth than lips were pressing against hers and the odd feeling of connection from only moments before shifted into something much bigger as she processed that they were really doing this.

Elizabeth pulled back and stared into her eyes a moment, then tipped her head so they were resting together forehead to forehead. “You are an amazing kisser.” She whispered and Nadine felt herself blush. “Now I regret that because now I want to be greedy and I just…can’t. Not here.”

“Maybe later.” She suggested, hopeful.

“I wish it wasn’t likely to make the news if we left early.”

Nadine agreed. “What about Henry?”

Elizabeth shifted so she was whispering directly into her ear. “He’s already had his turn this evening.”

In the months since they’d started doing this thing they were doing; this was only the second time she’d been a part of any intimate evening when Henry was present. Sure, there were plenty of moments around the office when he turned up for lunches, and then a few state dinners already where she’d found he would strive to split his time dancing between the two of them, but Nadine understood that the primary relationship was between the McCords. The night out was wonderful, but it left her feeling somewhat out of balance. Now she wasn’t sure what the expectation of the evening was or what her own thoughts on it would be. “I’m- I’m not sure…” She was nervous to speak up.

Elizabeth’s eyes shifted, turning soft. “Then we won’t.”

Now she felt guilty. “I just don’t think I’m ready for anything…” The words still failed her.

Elizabeth took her hands again. “Nadine…. It’s fine. Honestly, it’s probably for the best.”

“How so?”

“When I suggested this to you last month, I really only meant for it to be what it’s been so far. I enjoy spending time with you and I don’t want doing something enjoyable to become a transaction. That’s… I know how that goes in the end. Then every invitation makes you weigh for a deeper meaning and we get so little time to just relax, I don’t want it sullied that way.”

“Oh.” She turned that over in her mind for a bit, not really seeing the dancers on the stage. Now that she thought about it. Most of her relationships, especially the ones with a significant power imbalance, had been little more than a series of transactions. The men would only take her out when they wanted to make use of her body, never for the simple enjoyment of being out. They had wives for that. Vincent had been one of the worst when it had come to such behavior. The notion of separating the two, of keeping an enjoyable evening together free of the strings she was used to being attached left her a bit off kilter.

She finally looked up again. She and Elizabeth were still leaned shoulder to shoulder, one of Elizabeth’s hands holding hers. Nadine studied her profile as she watched the dancers below, studied the way her eyes seemed to glitter, and a calm smile brightened her face.

When the next number changed, Elizabeth turned toward her, her smile growing once she realized she was being watched. “You’re missing something beautiful.”

“I don’t mind.” Nadine relaxed, curing herself along Elizabeth’s arm and resting her head on her shoulder. It was comfortable. It had been a long time since she’d had something like this.

When the performance finished, Elizabeth finally pulled away, stepping out this time to speak to her agents and leaving Nadine alone with Henry.

“Did you like it?” She watched him settle back in his seat, draping one arm over the empty chair between them. “Ballet isn’t my favorite, but Elizabeth loves going.”

“I did. I enjoy the ballet, maybe it’s the dancer in me. I wish I had the time to go more often, but even when I do have it, I usually don’t bother.”

“Why not?”

“It’s not as pleasurable going alone. There’s something special, intimate, about sharing it with someone else.”

“Well, Elizabeth loves going out to things like this. If you ever have something you’d like to go see, you should ask her.” He leaned her way. “She teased me earlier, but she was so thrilled to be getting out and away from work tonight.”

“I’m glad I was invited.”

Elizabeth stepped back into the box. “We’re all clear to get out of here.” She rounded the seats and pressed a kiss to Henry’s lips before turning to Nadine, one hand out to help her stand. “I’d invite you back for a nightcap but your look tired.”

She couldn’t help laughing. “Gee, thanks. But yes, I believe you’re right. I think my weekend is going to be spent relaxing and not doing much of anything.”

“Good. You deserve a weekend of not doing much of anything.” She tugged her close.

Nadine expected Elizabeth was about to kiss her again and fumbled at bit when she was pulled into a hug instead. When she finally pulled away, Nadine watched her turn back to Henry.

When they made it to the motorcade, she slipped in first, placing Elizabeth in the center this time where she began to gush girlishly about the evening. Riding through the city, Nadine let the final moments wash over her.

=MS=

Nadine abandoned her breakfast dishes by the sink and carried a fresh mug of tea to the sofa, settling back comfortably before dialing a number from memory. “Ruthie, it’s me.”

“Nadine! How are you? Is the world burning?” She smiled at her sister’s chipper greeting.

“I’m good and no, nothing’s burning. I have a weekend off, actually.” She drew a breath. “I went to see a ballet last night with a friend even.”

That caught her sister’s attention, she knew it would. “A friend or a…friend?”

Nadine hummed. “It’s a bit of a long story. Tell me, how are the girls?”

Ruth laughed. “Sarah is fine, working hard as always and I think Julie’s getting serious with her boyfriend.” Nadine loved hearing about her nieces, both only a few years younger than Roman. “And we like him, he’s good with Ethan.”

Ethan was Julie’s son, born when she was barely out of high school. He was approaching four now and Nadine knew he was the light or Ruth’s life. “And, how is he?”

“Just as precious as always.” Ruth sighed. “Now, I know you didn’t interrupt your day off just to ask me about the kids, so out with it. What’s going on with you? What is this long story you mentioned? It sounds like you have time to tell it.”

“Well… I guess you could say I’ve been getting close with my new boss.”

There was a pause and then Ruth sounded scandalized. “Nadine!”

“It’s not the same as before.”

“But isn’t your boss a woman?”

“Yes.” She waited, wondering if Ruth would have an opinion on that. When she said nothing, Nadine carried on. “Her husband knows. It’s… an open relationship I guess, but of course, a secret one…. I don’t know, Ruthie….”

“So, how long has it been going on?”

“Six months or so. It’s just not like anything I’ve had before. When she first asked me, I was… shocked, as you can imagine.”

“But when does Sis back away from a challenge?” She lightly teased.

“Most of the time has been almost like you and I are, does that make sense?” She sipped her tea. “Like last night… It was comfortable I guess you could call it. Friendly. Telling stories and like we were swapping secrets.”

“So, like you were just friends.”

“Yes. Up until she kissed me and then said what she really wanted was to drag me off to bed.”

“Wow. Still bringing them to their knees, huh?”

“Ruthie!” It was her turn to be scandalized but softened quickly. “I don’t know where you ever go that idea.”

“Are you serious? Come on, Nay, I remember high school. Couldn’t go anywhere without boys throwing themselves at you. Who else got twelve invites to prom, huh? You’ve always attracted them all I just wish you did a better job picking them. I want to be able to commiserate with my sister about annoying things husbands do.”

“How is Ralph?”

Ruth sighed dramatically. “Fine. He’s traveling back from St. Louis today, something work related. I love him to pieces, but a week without him around to leave a cabinet open for me to bang my head on is kind of nice. We should come out and see you soon. Maybe we can meet your boss slash…girlfriend?”

“Don’t you dare call her that, Ruthie.”

“What? Are you or are you not sleeping with her?”

“On the rare occasion…yes.”

“Rare occasion? Nadine, what have you gotten yourself into?”

“I don’t know. I was hoping you would help me figure it out.”


	7. Chapter 7

A knock against her glass door made Nadine look up from where she’d been fuming over the appearance of Mike Barnow on the seventh floor. Blake was hovering, the door pushed open barely more than an inch, in his hand was a tray of drinks. “Yes, Blake?”

“Can I come in?” He leaned in a bit, edging the door further open.

“I suppose.”

He slipped in, standing only steps inside as the door shut behind him. “I got _his_ coffee and one for the Secretary and then I got tea for you.” He pulled one cup out and placed in on her desk. “I thought maybe you would like to take them in instead of me.”

She curved a brow at him. “And why would I do that? It’s a bit below my paygrade to run coffee, isn’t it?”

“I- I know, but…” His eyes skittered away as he stumbled onward. “I know she knows him from _before_. While I was out, I placed why I’d heard the name before. I didn’t know if you wanted the excuse to go in and be, um, nosey?”

 _Ah._ In the months since her thing with Elizabeth had begun, this was the closest he’d come to ever acknowledging he knew about it. “Do you think I have reason to?”

She watched him shrug and then glance along the hall a moment. “She greeted him very…warmly.” His voice went quiet, like he was almost afraid to keep speaking. “I’m sorry if I’m out of line. I just really don’t like him, and I like you and I could see you worrying about him being here.”

Nadine decided she’d unbox all of that later and stood. “Give me the coffee, Blake.” He looked almost relieved to hand it over, staying in place as she passed him to get to the door. She stopped with her hand on the handle and turned back to him. “Maybe it’s time you and I talked over a drink.” A look of sheer terror crossed his face and she chuckled. “Relax. You’re not in trouble.”

One she reached the office, she knocked and waited to be called in before opening the door. It was obvious that Elizabeth was surprised to see her, and not Blake, with the drinks from where she sat on the coffee table, body angled forward toward Mike B. “The coffees, Ma’am. Blake had something come up and I offered to bring them the rest of the way in.”

“Thanks, Nadine.” She waved at Mike. “Do you know Mike Barnow?”

“By reputation.” She admitted.

“He’s going to sort out this microloans disaster since my staff failed so spectacularly at seeing the issue coming.”

“And really, you of all people should’ve caught it.” Mike finally spoke up. “How exactly did you manage to become Chief of Staff and something that big blows right by you without a notice? I’ve advised she fire you on the spot.” His eyes turned back to Elizabeth. “Hey, she’s here now. Might as well get it over with and scare the other little peons enough to make them fall into line.”

Elizabeth raised her hand to silence him. “I’m not firing anyone just yet, Mike. It’s not off the table, but I’m not doing it as a knee-jerk reaction either.”

Mike stared at her and then glanced to Nadine and back again. “Oh… Oh, Bess…”

“You finish that thought and I’ll find some excuse to throw your ass in jail, Mike.”

His hands came up defensively. “Shutting up.”

Elizabeth finally turned to Nadine again. “Thank you for bringing the drinks in, Nadine.”

It was a clear dismissal, so Nadine turned to leave again. As she was shutting the door, she overheard Mike finally speak again and leaned against the closed door to eavesdrop.

“Bess… Can the amount of people you’ve slept with even fit in this room anymore? Your _Chief of Staff_? Are you nuts?”

“Will you stop calling me nuts?”

“No, because you are. And, it’s a right afforded me from our existing relationship.”

“ _Past_ relationship, Mike. Our very, very past relationship.”

“Aww, come on. We were fun.”

“We were regrettable. Ruined your marriage and now here I am listening to your insufferable attitude forever.”

“You love me, Bess.”

“Not even a little bit, Mike.”

=MS=

Nadine frowned at her phone again and then huffed in irritation. No text still that Elizabeth had left for the night, which meant she was probably still in with _Mike B_. It was stupid to be so bothered by the idea that they’d had a relationship, past or otherwise, it wasn’t like she didn’t know she and Elizabeth weren’t exclusive. There was Henry for starters and then the hint that Liz may or may not occasionally spend time with other members of the staff. She didn’t ask what happened on the many nights they weren’t together because it wasn’t her place to do so.

It was a bad time to suddenly feel needy, but she did. She felt the urge to suddenly lay claim to Elizabeth even though there was no claim to make. Dropping her phone to the table, Nadine made a frustrated noise and sank her head into her hands, scraping back her hair with her fingers, tightening a fistful to trigger the pleasure/pain surge of endorphins to help beat back the other emotions.

Eventually, her phone beeped and reluctantly she flipped it over.

_‘Can I come over?’_

She blinked, looking around at the mess she’d made on her way in the door and the bottle and empty glass on the table. She didn’t really want company tonight, but maybe she’d get some answers. ‘ _Sure.’_

It took forty minutes for Elizabeth to arrive and when she did, Nadine couldn’t help noticing how exhausted she appeared. “Come in.”

“Thanks.” Elizabeth crossed to the couch and sank down. “I owe you an explanation.”

“You really don’t.”

“No, I really do.” She sighed. “Honesty, remember?”

“Okay.” She sat across from her.

“Six and a half years ago, while Mike was still married, he and I had one weekend. Henry was on a book tour and I thought Mike had gotten approval from his wife and so for two days we…spent time together.” She drew a breath. “Two days, that was it. So don’t let him make it sound like this big sordid thing, because it wasn’t.”

“I see.”

“Months later it turned out that the person I spoke to on the phone was not his wife, but someone else he’d paid to get to pretend to be his wife. They didn’t know who I was, thankfully, but when he didn’t bend to being extorted further, she gave up the secret to his wife. Hence the divorce. Mike is a scoundrel that can’t be trusted off a short leash, but sadly he is good at the job I need him for right now.”

“Oh… I didn’t know if you and he were still…”

Realization seemed to dawn on her, and she leaned forward. “Oh, Nadine. No, I’m so sorry. He and I, no. I couldn’t ever trust him again. Have you been worrying about this all day?”

“Yes.” If Elizabeth was willing to be honest, then she should be too.

“I’m sorry. And I’m sorry he made the guess he did so quickly. I would’ve been more prepared, but I didn’t expect you to come in when you did.”

“It’s okay. Well, it’s not. I don’t like that he worked it out so quickly and now he has something he can hold over me. It gives him power that I didn’t willingly give him.”

“I understand.”

Elizabeth’s response angered her for some reason. “Do you? I have had to fight for every step of my career, Elizabeth. I didn’t have the opportunity for private schools and a trust fund college experience. I had to raise my son on my own while struggling like hell to be taken seriously that I could graduate and become something. I managed to become second in command to the third most powerful person in the country. I won’t let the likes of Michael Barnow destroy my career and all of the projects I’ve built up to be my legacy.”

“I’m sorry, Nadine.” She watched Elizabeth sink back, curling her shoulders in. “I know it’s not something tangible you can trust, but I have cards in play that will keep Mike from doing anything to you. It’s the only way I can handle working with him at all.”

“You’re right. That’s not something I can trust.”

Elizabeth gave a small nod and stood again, gathering her things as she headed silently for the door. “I’m sorry it happened. Mike, I mean. I regret ever considering him to begin with and I’m sorry for what happened today.”

She was almost to the door before Nadine spoke up again. “You’re not going to try and tell me I’m wrong or- or overreacting?”

She turned back. “No. Because you’re not… Wrong or overreacting. I’m sad it happened, but… I’m not about to try and brush off your right to feel what you do right now.”

“You know, it was Blake who sent me into your office today.” She watched as Elizabeth seemed to process that. “I know I said I wanted this thing between you and I to be secret, and I still do, but today? Today I was the smallest bit thankful that I didn’t have to worry in secret.”

“That’s- that’s good. This was never meant to make you isolated or- or afraid your job was at risk. At the end of the day, Mike B has no authority in the State Department.”

“But you take his advice.”

“I hear him out. If you listen to him long enough, he’ll give you a laundry list of times I ignored him anyway. I also take your advice, Nadine, and I value it. I don’t have to go looking for ulterior motives or question if what you’ve done is above board.”

“And if I advised you kick Mike to the curb?”

Elizabeth made a noise in the back of her throat. “It would go against what I think I know of your nature to try and do that.” Her blue eyes came up to meet Nadine’s brown. “How about this. I will make sure he doesn’t hang around once this is over. I already told him you are off limits to him and not just because you and I are occasionally sleeping together but because I really do believe that you want what’s best for this country and that level of sense of duty is invaluable.”

“I appreciate that.”

“I’ll let you get back to your evening. Good night, Nadine.” She started to pull the door open.

“Wait.” Nadine finally crossed the room, standing close. “After this is over, do you think we could arrange a day, just you and I? It doesn’t have to be anything grand or daring, just…” She huffed at her own sudden nervousness. “Shopping and lunch maybe.”

“Are you sure?”

“That I value your friendship? Yes, I am. As for anything more than that, well, I think I need to work out on my own why I got so jealous over the notion that you might’ve been with Mike B in the first place.”


	8. Chapter 8

Nadine stopped in the doorway to her office and stared. In the middle of her desk was a vase filled with roses. She glanced either way down the hall before slipping in, setting her things on her couch before searching for a card as the aroma of the bouquet filled her senses.

‘ _Just because. You are even more beautiful than they are.’_

A blush rushed across her cheeks, the color rivalling the red in the roses. Holding the card to her chest, Nadine sank into her chair, a smile finding its way across her face. She’d kept Elizabeth at arm’s length for several weeks since Mike B had turned up, their relationship never straying to anything anyone could describe as more than friendly, but in recent days Elizabeth seemed to be starting a campaign to get her attention again.

Nadine could admit that it seemed everything Elizabeth had said had been true. Mike B barely looked her way the rest of the time he was around the Truman and she never overheard an inappropriate remark. In the end, no one had lost their job thanks to the tradecraft to thwart the attacks on the microloan program and the State Department as a whole.

Movement in the doorway made her look up, Jay was leaned around the frame. “Good morning.”

He smirked. “Nice flowers.”

She could see the next question and answered it first. “An admirer.”

He nodded, a soft chuckle in his chest. “Good for you, Nadine.” He patted the frame. “Meeting in thirty?”

“Yes.” She watched him vanish down the hall to his own office. Through the windows, she could see Matt and Daisy already bickering in their own office. With a shake of her head, she wondered whether it was time to have another talk with the two of them about keeping their relationship out of the workplace.

Blake swept in, his face buried in a folder, before she could make a decision on whether or not to talk to the pair. He was almost to a chair when he finally looked up to speak to her, instead finding the bouquet in the way. She watched as his eyes seemed to bug out and his jaw dropped. “Wow.” He made a small laugh. “Those are… wow.” She stayed silent as he leaned forward, smelling them before finally looking her way. “What did you do to des-” He seemed to think better of the question. “You know what, never mind. They are beautiful, Nadine.”

“Thank you.” She watched him sit, then realize he couldn’t see her and stand again, giving a look to ask permission before moving the flowers to one side and retaking his seat.

Blake dove right into the review of the daily schedule. Once it was done, he glanced at the flowers again. “Permission to maybe cross a line?”

Nadine studied him a moment. “Granted.”

She watched him think a second. “I know I don’t have all the information, but I know things have been…quiet, lately.” He paused and then drew a breath. “What would make you happy? You- you don’t have to answer that to me, just… If image and people and everyone and everything else didn’t matter, what would make you happy?” She watched him watching her think about that. Finally, he stood, rebuttoning his blazer. “It’s about being happy. Nothing more, nothing less. If it doesn’t make you happy, then that’s all you have to say, but if it does…” He trailed off, not finishing his statement before slipping out the door.

Alone, Nadine stared at the roses and wondered to herself, could she be happy in this arrangement? _Was_ she happy?

=MS=

Nadine nervously checked over the last of the food as it finished in the pan. It’d been a week since Elizabeth had given her the roses and she’d finally asked if they could talk. She still wasn’t sure if what she had to say was the right thing, but she was going to say it anyway.

Before she could worry over the food any further, she heard Elizabeth knock on the door and dropped the towel in her hand on the counter as she headed to the door, anxiously brushing back her hair as she pulled it open. “Hi.” She waved into the apartment. “Come in.”

“Something smells delicious.”

Nadine nodded, making a small huff to try and calm her rampant nerves. “Chicken in, um, Riesling.” Her head tipped side to side as she thought about the ingredients. “Shallots, mushrooms, some Cognac.” When Elizabeth’s eyes lit up, she giggled. “It’s ready if you’re hungry. I just pulled it off to cool.”

“S-sure!” Elizabeth followed her to the kitchen, accepting a plate once Nadine filled it. “This looks amazing, Nadine.”

“Thank you. I enjoy cooking, I just don’t get a lot of opportunity to do it for anyone else.” She led the way to the table, the conversation stayed on cooking and food until the meal was almost gone.

“What’s on your mind, Nadine?” Elizabeth finally asked, sipping her wine.

“Oh.” She ducked her head, a blush creeping up. “Right. I’ve been trying to work out something this week and… And I still don’t know the answer.”

“To what?”

“If I’m happy.”

“I see.” Elizabeth put her glass on the table.

She sighed. “I was with Vincent for six years and then he…” She waved a hand aimlessly. “Then suddenly I wasn’t, as he was dead. I’d barely processed any of that when you turned up in his chair and then you asked me to start this. I honestly don’t know what I want, Elizabeth. These months have been lovely but… I hate how I felt over Mike B.”

“I know.”

“I have a bit of a history of sleeping with married men. And I don’t have the best record of picking men who are any good for me, married or not. I just… I think I need to figure out what I really want.”

“Of course.”

“I want to be happy.” She watched her nod. “I have no idea now if I was happy with Vincent. I told myself I was, but… I want to do things because they make me truly happy and I don’t know where this thing between us fall into that just yet.” She let her gaze drift across the room. “I really enjoy the times when we’re on the same page and enjoying one another, but then there are times where I just don’t- I feel so off kilter and I’m not sure I can be okay with a relationship that leaves me feeling like that.”

“And I wouldn’t want you to be in one, Nadine.” She drew a breath. “If you want to go back to just work colleagues, then we will do just that. If you want to figure out some kind of friendship that’s in between colleague and an intimate relationship, then we will do what you want, what you need. If you aren’t sure and we go back and forth a bit, I’m here for you. This thing we have been doing, it goes both ways.”

“I know.”

“I want you to be happy too.” She leaned across the table, offering her hand. After a moment, Nadine took it. “I am sorry. I didn’t think about you mourning Vincent. I wish you had said something.”

“I didn’t really realize it myself.” She drew a breath. “I’ve talked to my sister a few times, about us.”

“Really?”

Nadine nodded. “She pointed out my dating history, more than once, and I loathe to admit she had a point. I think I’m- I’m tired of secret relationships. I just don’t know if there’s something in the middle of what we have in secret and it being enough of a non-secret that it doesn’t ruin both our careers.”

“Well… It’s not a total secret, right? Your sister knows and you can talk to her about your worries and concerns. Henry knows and you can talk to him about anything, even if you’re afraid to speak to me.”

“Yes.” She drew a breath. “And Blake knows which… the idea of that is growing on me.”

Elizabeth’s face turned concerned. “He’s not said something inappropriate, has he?”

“No, he’s been fine.”

“Okay.” She gave her had a squeeze. “How about this… I’m fine with whatever you’re fine with. The ball can be in your court. I am always here for you, Nadine, whether that’s as a friend or something more. You decide what we do, who knows, all of it.”

“Really? Why?”

She shrugged. “You have more to lose.”

=MS=

Tossing her phone onto the sofa cushion, Nadine reached for her wine glass and settled back, tucking her feet under her. She’d been on the phone with Ruthie for over an hour trying to work out what exactly it was that would make her happy after the conversation three days before with Elizabeth and she still was no closer to making heads or tails of it.

Ruthie had pointed out that she clearly longed for companionship, that she knew her older sister always seemed happiest when she had someone in her life to share the small moments with. Nadine conceded the point. She didn’t have too many consistent girlfriends to do things with, her work simply took up too much of her time. She did, however, treasure the chances she had to connect with the few friends when time did allow. Spending time, even as friends, with Elizabeth would definitely give her more of that.

She wouldn’t have to make excuses for cancelling plans at least.

Her sister had also been, irritatingly, correct that she’d never struggled to catch the attention of men when she had the urge. Though, that urge had waned significantly as the hours she put in on the job increased exponentially.

Everything Ruthie had said over the past hour rolled around in her head as she sipped her wine. Slowly, a fuzzy picture of what might make her happy began to form. Nadine picked up her phone again, pressing the speed dial for Elizabeth. She knew Henry was away tonight and while Nadine wasn’t looking for anything special, she figured they could at least talk.

“Nadine?”

“Yes, hi. I was wondering if we could talk?”

“Um, now isn’t really a good time.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“Look. If it’s about what we talked about a few days ago, I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”

Her brows knit together. “Sure. I just- I’ve been doing a lot of thinking.”

“I understand, it’s just-” Nadine heard as the phone was pulled away and Elizabeth told someone to _‘wait, Sweetie’_.

It made her stomach drop. “I’ll call tomorrow.” Quickly, she disconnected the line. Elizabeth had never lied about the likelihood of there being other partners, Nadine just never actually considered the reality of it. It wasn’t just she, Elizabeth, and Henry in this odd sort of relationship.

=MS=

She was already nervously waiting at a table when Elizabeth arrived a few minutes late with an apology already tumbling out. “It’s okay, I haven’t been here long.”

Elizabeth sank into a chair and smiled. “And I’m sorry about last night. Stevie had a big fight with her boyfriend and spent most of the evening wallowing in a bowl of ice cream. New love is so hard, the tiny things always feel so huge when you’re just starting out.” She waved away the train of thought. “Anyway… She and Alison are doing some shopping therapy today and nothing seems to brighten their moods faster than shopping with my credit card.” She chuckled.

Nadine barely heard a word of what she’d said beyond the mention of Stevie. She’d automatically jumped to the conclusion that Elizabeth had been with a partner of some sort that she’d totally forgotten the most obvious scenario- that she was at home with her family. Fingers brushing the back of her hand made her eyes snap up to Elizabeth’s face. “Hm?”

“Is something wrong?”

“I hate this.” It slipped out before Nadine even realized it was on the tip of her tongue and she watched the crestfallen look on the face across from her. “That’s not… That’s not quite what I meant.” She shook her head. “It feels like lately every time I say something, I just make things worse. That’s not my intention. I am trying to fix it.”

“How about you just say what comes to mind and we’ll figure it all out together.”

“Yes.” Nadine sucked in a deep breath and let it out. “Maybe that’s the best way to go about it.” She took a drink of her water. “What you and Henry have is…amazing, and I really have enjoyed getting to be a part of that. I miss it actually. My sister reminded me yet again that I don’t have many girlfriends to spend down time with. I mean, I have a few but none of them live locally and with the hours we work, getting together is often difficult. I just… I seem to start having issues with the whole thing when the notion of you being with someone else crosses my mind. I can’t work out why I’m not jealous of Henry, but the idea that you might’ve still been with Mike B and then last night when I thought you were with someone else? I don’t know why it bothers me so much.”

It took a minute before Elizabeth began to answer. “I do value our friendship, and I’m in much the same position. It’s hard to find the time for friends and then lose the awkwardness that’s happened now that I’m in this job. I didn’t expect my job to be quite so isolating.” She looked away a moment. “As far as the other part, I have a confession to make.”

“About?”

“I did ask around like I’d mentioned when you and I first talked and I did, in the beginning, seek out other people once or twice when I wanted some of that companionship.”

“But?”

“But… quickly I realized I didn’t want that this time. It felt a bit wrong to pull other people into my weird need for affection or whatever you want to call it when you seemed then to be so happy when I chose you.”

“So, there’s no one else?”

Elizabeth shook her head. “Henry and then you. It’s been that way for a few months. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want you to feel obligated to carry on what we were doing if you weren’t happy.”

Nadine couldn’t help the soft chuckle. “I keep hearing that word, happy.” When Elizabeth tipped her head, curious, she elaborated only a small amount. “I was asked what would make me happy by someone who really shouldn’t be the one dishing out relationship advice, but I guess maybe they had a point after all.”

“And their point was?”

“I believe something along the lines of, only worry about what makes me happy and then do that. They made it sound very over simplified.”

Elizabeth nodded. “And what would make you happy today? Or not even today, but this afternoon? Don’t even stop and think about it, what’s the first thing on your mind.”

“Taking a walk.” Nadine stopped and blinked. “I don’t even… I’m not even sure where that came from, but I guess it would make me happy today. It’s so nice out.”

Elizabeth smiled. “And would I be welcome on this walk?”

“Yes. You would.”

“Okay. We’ll eat and then you pick where, and we’ll go.”


	9. Chapter 9

Nadine nervously waited for the front door to be opened. It had been weeks since her conversation with Elizabeth and things had been steadily improving between them. She put her focus into trying to remember to find her own happiness first and while that’d been hard, with occasional prompting from Elizabeth, she was starting to figure it out. It was why she was waiting to be invited in for dinner with her and Henry.

The door opened and Henry was smiling at her. “Nadine, come in. Elizabeth will be down in a second, wine?”

“Yes please.” She followed him through to the kitchen. “That smells lovely.”

He poured wine into a glass and passed it over. “Elizabeth mentioned once before that you loved French cuisine, so I thought I’d try my hand at it.” He lifted the lid off a pot on the smell wafted out. “How have you been lately, I haven’t seen much of you.”

“Oh… Good, fine I suppose. I had some things I needed to work through. I don’t know if she told you…”

“No.” He shook his head. “But I could tell there must be something going on by the way she stopped talking quite so much about you. She tells me everything unless she thinks it might do more harm than good, so I didn’t ask.” He paused a second. “I couldn’t help but notice it tied in to about the time Mike B did some work for her.”

She knew it was leading, but allowed it. “He is a grating, irritating little man.”

Henry laughed. “Yes, he is.”

“And a snake.”

“That too.”

She sipped her wine. “I couldn’t wrap my head around her willingly having a relationship with someone like him.”

“She didn’t. Not a relationship anyway. I take it he said something to you?”

“Not really. Mostly it was that he guessed so quickly that she and I were involved… In the same conversation where he told her to fire me.”

“That… sounds like Mike. You’d have to do something pretty major for her to fire you, Nadine.”

“You can’t know that for certain. And I’m no saint, my career has plenty of skeletons.”

The sound of footsteps starting down the stairs had her turning to greet her friend, but she still caught Henry’s final comment on the matter. “I do know for certain, because she loves you.”

There wasn’t enough time to react before Elizabeth was at the bottom of the stairs, excitedly talking. The dinner progressed much like the first time she’d come over except as the meal wound down, Henry didn’t make excuses to leave and there was no expectation or pretense of heading upstairs. Instead, Elizabeth passed Nadine her glass of wine and then led her to the sitting room where she sat first, putting one leg up against the back of the seat before tugging Nadine down until she was reclined back against her chest.

From the kitchen, they could hear Henry finishing clearing up. It felt cozy, relaxed. She wasn’t eager to give up this feeling of being secure in someone else’s arms any time soon.

“I’m glad you came tonight.”

“Me too. I woke up this morning and something hit me, and I think it means I might be moving on.”

“What was that?”

“Yesterday was Vincent and I’s anniversary of sorts. The one we celebrated anyway. I’d totally forgotten and when I remembered… It didn’t hurt.”

“That’s good, isn’t it?”

“I believe so.”

Elizabeth’s free hand absently tucked her loose hair behind her ear before dropping to her arm. “You know, it’s okay to miss the happy parts of what you had with him. No matter what else happened, you did love him and that counts for something. And maybe… Maybe that you were able to fall in love with him meant there was something good in him, even if it’s hard to remember what that might’ve been now.”

“Or it means I was a fool, blinded by the appeal of a whirlwind affair and the promise of a future that he never intended to give me.”

“No.” She felt as Elizabeth rested her cheek against her head. “You’re not a fool.”

“Okay, kitchen is done.” Henry’s voice had them both turning his way in tandem, bringing a smile to his face. “Anyone want more wine?”

“If I keep going, I’ll never make it home.”

“You could always stay.” Her voice was soft near her ear. “It doesn’t have to be anything, but I would love it if you stayed.”

Nadine dropped her voice to match. “But Henry’s here.”

“Maybe another night then.”

She blinked, momentarily surprised at how quickly Elizabeth moved off the idea before remembering how many conversations they’d had about focusing on her own happiness and comfort zone. “Where would we all sleep?”

In her periphery, she caught as Elizabeth turned her head back toward Henry and then back to her. “We have a guest room, so there are quite a few options. You could stay there on your own or I could sleep in there with you. Henry would willingly sleep in there for one night-”

“I can’t run him out of his own bed.”

“Or we all three could sleep in the master bedroom. Or… we can call a rideshare to get you safely home and Henry can bring your car to you in the morning.”

The message was clear, the ball was in her court. She remembered that question that had been echoing in her mind in recent weeks- What would make her happy? “I would love to stay. And… I guess there’s no reason for anyone to have to sleep in the guest room.”

Elizabeth held out her glass for Henry to place on the table that was just out of reach and Nadine handed hers over as well. Once he’d done that, Henry braced his weight against the back of the couch before leaning forward, kissing Elizabeth before pulling away. “Don’t stay up too late, Babe.”

The memory of how she’d felt in the theater, holding Elizabeth’s hand when she’d kissed her husband, rushed forward again as the pair had kissed now, with her resting against Elizabeth’s chest, her head against the other woman’s cheek. It didn’t feel like she was an intruder. Instead, it felt like she was blessed to be part of something so intimate.

Once the first floor was silent, a thought slipped into Nadine’s mind. “Do your kids know?”

“Know what?”

“That you have other relationships.”

“No. They were never old enough to really explain it to. I didn’t want to confuse them.”

“That makes sense.”

“I have considered telling them I’m bisexual, but that’s… I have a feeling they would think it was a horrible conversation to have with a parent. I mean, who wants to hear about your parents’ sex life.”

She chuckled. “True.”

“And it would open up questions about how much time I spend with you and how much I enjoy it.”

“I don’t think I would mind it… If that’s your concern.”

“Are you sure?”

“What makes me happy, right? Well, this right here I think makes me happy. I love having dinner with you, but not just you. I enjoy what we’ve done tonight, the three of us. This right here is good too.” She admitted, smiling when Elizabeth hugged her slightly. “If you wanted to be honest with your kids, I think I would be happy being included in your family.” Nadine closed her eyes, enjoying the way they were curled together.

“Well, we don’t have to decide on that tonight.” They lapsed into silence for several minutes before she spoke again. “We don’t want to fall asleep here. If you’re staying, we should head upstairs.”

=MS=

It was still dark out when Nadine woke up. Easing gently out of the bed, she padded to the window seat and crawled up, thinking about the evening before. When Elizabeth had led her upstairs hours earlier, despite Nadine’s insistence that sharing a bed was fine, she’d still taken the time to show Nadine the guest room just in case she changed her mind. Now, dressed in a spare set of pajamas, Nadine pulled her attention away from the couple still sleeping in the bed and out into the darkness.

There had been something calming about falling asleep spooned against Elizabeth, soothing in the way she absently combed her hair to the side. When she’d woke, their positions had changed and Henry was on his back with Elizabeth curled into his side and even then, one of her hands had still been holding Nadine’s, not fully breaking contact. The small gesture mixed with Henry’s comment from the evening before had been what had led to her seeking a moment of solitude at the window. Did Elizabeth really love her as Henry had said? And could Nadine permit herself to again love someone who was married, happily committed, to someone else. She’d done that before, more than once, and in the end it was always she who was left broken and alone.

Rustling in the bed drew her attention in time to see Elizabeth getting up, padding across to her side. “You left.” She whispered sleepily, cupping the back of her head and pressing a kiss high along her cheek bone. “Do you want to talk?”

“I- I don’t know.”

“Do you want me to stay?”

“I’d like that.”

She gave a slight nod, nudging Nadine’s feet closer to the window before climbing up as well, sitting so they were facing one another. “I’m right here.”

Allowing impulse to take over a moment, Nadine reached out and took Elizabeth’s hand, threading their fingers together as she stared back out the window again. This felt comfortable. It made her happy. It would be too easy to become dependent on this and this time she wasn’t sure she could survive breaking again.

The sky was just beginning to lose its inky blackness when sheets rustled again and Henry was at their side, covering their joined hands with his before kissing his wife. “It’s early yet, you two should go back to bed. I’m going to go for a run before starting breakfast.”

“Okay.” Elizabeth whispered, watching her husband find clothes and slip into the bathroom to change before going downstairs.

Nadine finally spoke once they were alone. “What if I fall in love with you?”

“What?”

She didn’t repeat it but didn’t pull away either.

“Let’s go back to bed.” There was a slight tug on her hand. “Henry will let us know when breakfast is ready.”

She let herself be led back to the bed and into Elizabeth’s arms. Nadine curled into her side for a second before pushing up onto one elbow. “Can I- Can I kiss you?”

“Of course.”

She cupped Elizabeth’s cheek with one hand, taking in the way she looked in the half-light before pressing a kiss to her lips. It started off hesitant and sweet, but then Elizabeth’s lips parted and it was like she was falling, sinking in so deep she didn’t even register when hands were on her waist, pulling her until one knee was between Elizabeth’s thighs and she was laying almost on top of her. It wasn’t until fingers brushed against her skin under her top that she pulled back, letting the touch overwhelm her.

“May I?” It was a whisper but she heard it anyway and nodded. A groan slipping out when that hand found one breast and massaged. “What would make you happy right now?”

That question had so many complicated answers. She swallowed, forcing her brain to cooperate enough to locate coherent sentences. “I don’t think I’m ready for sex.”

“How would you feel about losing our shirts? Everything below the waist will stay off limits.”

“I think that would be okay?”

The hand vanished from her breast. “You think?”

“I would like that.” To prove her words were true, Nadine sat up and pulled her shirt off before kissing her again. When they needed to breathe, she allowed Elizabeth to pull her own shirt off and then they were back to touching, massaging, one another as they resumed kissing. It was simple and sweet and turning her on impossibly fast, but Nadine didn’t mind. It felt good to have this connection again, she realized then that she’d missed it.

They carried on, not paying any attention to footsteps on the stairs until Henry appeared in the doorway, pausing a moment at the sight that greeted him. Elizabeth realized he was there first and broke the kiss, tugging Nadine into her chest as she pulled the sheet up to cover her back.

Arousal and contentment overrode the thread of embarrassment Nadine felt as she turned her face just enough to smile his way through the curtain of her hair. There was something erotic about Henry walking in just then, even though what they’d been doing wasn’t erotic at all. Her eyes tracked his movements as he found fresh clothes and went to shower after his run, leaving the door slightly ajar.

“We can stop.” Elizabeth offered.

“Not yet.” She bypassed Elizabeth’s mouth to kiss along her throat, backing up until she could tease one nipple and then the other. Elizabeth arched under her.

“God, you’re making me so turned on, Nadine. One touch and I’ll explode.”

An idea crossed her mind and she carried on the assault of her breasts, then kissed and sucked along the planes of Elizabeth’s stomach. In the next room, the water cut off. Nadine crawled back up, sucking hard on one nipple and causing Elizabeth to cry out with frustrated want. When the door pulled open, Nadine sat up and slipped away, leaving Elizabeth exposed in the bed as she used her abandoned shirt to mock an attempt at modesty as she swept past Henry into the bathroom. “She’s ready for you. I’m going to wash up.”

With the door shut completely, Nadine listened. She couldn’t hear Henry cross the room but heard Elizabeth moan and she guessed it was to do with something he’d done. She was already hot and wet, the slightest touch would drive her over, but she held off, listening to what was happening in the next room. For a moment, she wished she was brave enough to reopen the door and watch, but in the end accepted that she wasn’t and turned to the shower. It was far from the first time she’d had to quickly satisfy herself to at least take the edge off.

Stepping under the spray, she closed her eyes, imagining what they must look like in the next room, coming so quickly that she didn’t remember to try and muffle her cry. Once she recovered, she washed up quickly before shutting off the water and stepping out just as the door opened.

Elizabeth slipped in. “All done? Henry went to start breakfast downstairs.” She crossed to where Nadine was holding a towel against her chest, gathering the edges and pulling it so it wrapped properly around her body before kissing her. “I heard you.” She whispered. “I do one day hope to watch you again. When you’re ready.” Another kiss, this time to that same spot at the top of her cheekbone. “What were you thinking about?”

“You.” A blush rushed up across her skin. “What you were doing in there.”

There was a soft noise in Elizabeth’s throat and then they were pulled together so tight Nadine risked turning loose of the towel to wrap her arms around Elizabeth’s shoulders as arms found their way around her own waist. “You mentioned worrying about falling in love… but I already have. I don’t want that to pressure you, but aside from Henry, I haven’t felt this way about anyone else.”

“I- I-” She was left speechless, so instead she kissed her again, dragging it out until they needed to breathe. “I’m getting there.” She admitted, pulling away, not caring as the towel dropped to the floor. She took a step out of the circle it created before gathering it in her fingers, she’d need it for her hair, and tossing it over her shoulder, sashaying into the bedroom to leave Elizabeth to shower alone.


	10. Chapter 10

Nadine was certain, as she watched the elevator doors close behind paramedics while her hands shook, that she’d never been so terrified in her life.

Peace and tranquility had been shattered as she’d heard Blake shout her name down the hall, distress evident in his voice. She’d been in such a rush to work out what would make him act so unprofessionally, so out of character, that her glasses had skittered off the desk and onto the floor when she’d tossed them down, paper fluttered away as well in her wake.

There’d been a moment, a hair of time where she’d frozen in the vestibule doorway at the sight of Elizabeth on the floor, before Blake’s voice had reminded her that there were things to do, calls to make, staffers to clear from the floor. She’d tasked Blake with the latter, sending him to clear everyone but the senior staff as she’d rushed to the phone in the corner, alerting Henry personally.

“Could you help me with something?” Blake’s voice made her jump.

Startled, she looked up and into his anxious gaze. “Sure.”

“This way.” He turned and led the way to Elizabeth’s office where Minister Chen had been escorted away by security, shutting both doors.

“What do you need?” She wanted this over with quickly so she could work out how to make the shaking stop.

“Nothing.” He avoided eye contact. “I thought you just needed a minute.” Finally, his eyes landed on her hands. “I know I do.”

“Right.” She crossed to the couch and sat carefully, not surprised when he joined her. “Hasn’t she been through enough?”

It was a rhetorical question, but he answered anyway. “More than… Have you- Have you talked to her since she got back?”

“No. She went straight home and then has been nonstop since. I’ve been worried.”

“Are- Are you okay?”

Nadine looked up again. He was studying her closely, concern etched in his features. She drew a deep breath and tried to work out an answer. Was she okay? She’d just watched the woman she was in a relationship with taken away on a stretcher only days after she’d nearly been lost forever in a coup halfway around the globe. It was the second time in under a year she’d been the one holding an entire federal agency together while the person she loved was dead. Or, potentially dead.

She drew another breath.

Standing in the sit room had been too reminiscent for comfort. Dealing with Russell and facing POTUS amid such a crisis had pressed buttons she’d so far refused to give any attention to, but those buttons weren’t going to go away on their own. The only possibly consolation this time was that maybe, just maybe, Henry would acknowledge her mourning for what it was.

She tried for another breath.

She was so helpless. There was still an entire agency to run, to keep from coming undone as word their leader was rushed away spread through the ranks, but for the life of her, she couldn’t remember the first thing she should be doing.

Nadine scrubbed away tears that demanded to fall with a shaking hand, but more came to take their place. The next inhale was harder to find and hold onto that then last.

Would Elizabeth come back from this? They were finally getting into a pattern Nadine was comfortable with, but would a heart attack after all that’d happened that week force it all to end?

She desperately tried for another breath but couldn’t seem to remember how to breathe. Her hands kept on shaking, but now so did her shoulders, her chest ached, her whole body trembled. Her mind played over the sight of Elizabeth, pale and desperately fisting her blouse as she faded in and out of consciousness.

A hand landed on her back between her shoulder blades and pushed her forward, forcing the air out of her lungs.

“It’s okay. Don’t try to fight it, you’re okay.” Eventually, the hand began to rub her back comfortingly. “You’re okay. She’ll be okay.”

Slowly, the shaking seemed to calm, and her breathing evened out and Nadine straightened up. She risked a look at him but found only the concern still there. “Thank you.”

“It’s been a hard few days for all of us but… I didn’t think about how hard it must’ve been for you. You hold all of us together, but who helps hold you together?”

“It’s the job.” It came out as a croak. “I’m fine.”

“You’re not.” It was soft, not accusing. “I- I’m good for listening, if you ever need it. Whether that’s only for a second or over a drink.”

Nadine stood, smoothing invisible wrinkles as she turned to him. “Thank you, Blake.”

He stood as well, holding his arms out the slightest bit. “I’m good for hugs too.”

It sounded like an absolutely horrible idea, but she closed the space between them. She just needed a moment before diving into doing her job. She needed a moment to get past the memory of Elizabeth attached to a portable heart monitor and an oxygen mask, eyes rolled back. His arms wrapped around her and she clung to his jacket sleeves as if they were anchors holding her in the moment.

=MS=

It was long past dark; long past the second time Elizabeth had been whisked away from the building for the day, and Nadine sat in the half-dark of her office alone. Blake had been by on the way to leave and had invited her out for a drink, the only one of the team to understand why she was struggling with the events of the day, but she turned him down. She needed time to process.

“You’re still here.” The soft voice caught her attention and then made her frown. Mike B was hovering in her doorway.

“What can I do for you?”

“I’m just checking on you. That’s all, I swear. It’s been a long day.”

“It has.”

“I didn’t know if you wanted to talk.”

The muscles in her jaw flexed. “Not with you.”

He sighed. “I’m- I’m sorry. For how I was when we first met. I was out of line and I took my issues out on you.”

“I’m still not talking to you about my life.”

“Okay.” He nodded. “Do you- do you at least have someone?”

“I have plenty of people to talk to.”

“…Good.” He slipped away as silently as he’d appeared.

=MS=

Elizbeth stayed home for a week after that day and it took Nadine most of that to find the guts, for the lack of a better word, to reach out and check on her. All official communication had gone through Blake as Henry had been fighting tooth and nail to prevent his wife from sneaking work and the assistant was the one person least likely to give in to her begging.

When she did turn up, it was without any sort of forethought or warning to the McCord household, so when the front door opened, Nadine was greeted by Alison.

“He- Hello. I’m- I’m Nadine, I was just checking on how your mother was doing?”

The teen nodded, waving her in. “Dad’s not letting her talk to anyone from work.” She shared as she pushed the door shut. “Mom’s upstairs, but I’ll go get Dad and you can talk to him.”

“Of course.” She really didn’t know if Henry would be happy to see her there or not, so she waited, hovering in the entryway until Henry appeared through the dining room.

“Nadine, I didn’t know you were coming.”

“I’m sorry for just dropping in. I just wanted to see how she was doing.”

“She’s sleeping right now. Would you like something to drink?” He guided her through to the kitchen. “How have you been?”

“I’ve been okay.” She caught his disbelieving look. “It’s been a rough couple weeks. I just- I just needed to see for myself how she’s handling things. I’ve been worried.”

He sighed. “She’s been seeing a therapist every day. It’s… PTSD is hard and there’s no rushing recovering from it. She has a prescription, but its effectiveness is dependent on her taking it when she needs to. The doctor said to expect more panic attacks until she gets a handle on when she needs to take something and step away.”

“It’s a learning process.” She agreed. “I- I have a bit of a confession to make.” Nadine was nervous that telling him would make Henry want her to take a step back, but she wanted to be honest. “After she was taken away last week… I broke down myself.”

That seemed to stun him.

“She was laying on the floor and I thought she was dying and then… It’s barely been a year since I had to deal with the fallout of Vincent dying and twice in under a week, I thought she had and… The idea of someone else I loved dying while I stood there just… it hurt.”

“I’m so sorry, Nadine.”

Stevie appeared just then on the back stairs. “Dad? Mom’s awake, she asked where you were.”

“Okay. I’ll be right up.” Once his daughter vanished again, he turned back to Nadine. “I was about to start dinner; you’re welcome to stay and join us. Elizabeth’s been going a bit stir crazy being stuck at home, she might appreciate having you here.”

“I’d love to.”

He nodded. “Go on up, I’ll come check on the two of you in a bit.”

At the top of the stairs, Nadine could hear the kids talking from their rooms. It was the first time she’d ever been here when they were home and it was a bit disconcerting, but she carried on until she was stepping into the master bedroom.

From the bed, Elizabeth noticed her immediately and a grin spread across her face. “Nadine. What a nice surprise.” She began straightening the covers and then patted the empty space to her left. “Come sit.”

Tugging off her shoes, Nadine sat beside her, curling so she was facing her way a bit. “How are you doing?” It seemed to be the question on everyone’s minds these days.

“I hate feeling so out of control, but I’m getting there.”

“Well, you have a lot of people who are here for you. I’m always here for you.”

Elizabeth took her hand. “I know. And I’m sorry for dumping all my work into your lap on short notice.”

“It’s no problem. Really. I just want you to get better.”

“I want me better too.” She shifted down a bit and then leaned in, resting her head against Nadine’s shoulder. “I don’t want this to be who I am.”

Nadine let her head rest on the top of Elizabeth’s. “It won’t be forever. Just give yourself time.” She let her eyes close. “I’m staying for dinner, so just rest, I’m not going anywhere.”


	11. Chapter 11

Life slowly returned to normal, though it felt like the few international trips they took were heavy with conflict in ways they hadn’t been before. Nadine found herself worried at the turn of things, that perhaps it was a sign of things to come that in their two trips abroad in a matter of only a few months, Blake, of all people, managed to get himself into major trouble both times. Arrested once and under what amounted to house arrest the next.

When the opportunity had cropped up to travel alone, in Jay’s place, Nadine had jumped at it eagerly.

Flying home from Myanmar, Nadine collected a drink and something to eat from the galley and returned to the main cabin in time to see Elizabeth talking into her laptop. Hovering as she placed a drink and sandwich on the table, she waited for Elizabeth to pat the seat beside her. “Henry?” It was mostly a rhetorical question.

“Yes.” Elizabeth threaded an arm around Nadine’s waist. “He was giving me more details about the brunch that went bad.”

“Ah.” She leaned in so she was against Elizabeth’s side. “I’ve been getting texts from the office about the state Blake had been in. Apparently, he took that report home and stayed up reading it.”

“Oh god.” Elizabeth dropped her head into one hand. “I swear, some days he’s the most capable guy I know and some days he’s five.”

That made her laugh.

“He was pretty worked up when he was over.” Henry nodded, recounting for them the morning in more detail, making them laugh and worry in turns. “I swear, we tried, Babe.”

“I know. You couldn’t have anticipated they get like that; I mean… I get it that they have concerns, but…”

Henry sighed. “We’ll figure out how to deal with it. I’m fairly sure it wouldn’t help their resale values if word got out they ran the Secretary of State out of the neighborhood.”

Nadine chuckled. “I’m pretty sure my condo association wouldn’t bat an eye at it.” She looked at the screen at Henry and then turned and looked at Elizabeth. “They won’t. It’ll work out.”

“I’m glad you think so.” Elizabeth tipped her head forward a bit. “Kiss me?”

She wanted to look around the cabin but knew that security was in the very back and there was no attendant, so they were as good as alone. If ever there was a perfect opportunity to be together comfortably on this plane, this was probably their chance. She still cast a glance to Henry first, seeking permission before leaning in. The kiss was mostly chaste and sweet and when she pulled away, Elizabeth looked at the screen instead of her.

“I missed you, Henry. I wish you could’ve come on this horrid trip.”

“I know, Babe. You’ll be home soon. Love you.”

“Love you too.” The screen went dark and Elizabeth looked at her again. “I love you too, you know.”

A blush raced up her neck. “I know.” She’d still not actually said it herself yet and it was a relief that Elizabeth didn’t push. A tendril of hair had fallen across Elizabeth’s face and Nadine looped it around one finger, absently tucking it back into place. “I know this trip was hard on you, I’m sorry I couldn’t have been more helpful than I was.”

“You did enough. And you got to start your relationship with your son back on a healing path, right?”

Nadine hummed a reply, cupping her face in her hands before leaning in for another kiss. “I hope. I do appreciate you loaning out our detail so I could go out and find him.”

“Totally selfish motives, I assure you.” She suddenly yawned hard enough her jaw cracked, making them both laugh. “I’m exhausted. How long have we been awake?”

“I don’t even know anymore.” Nadine kicked off her shoes and adjusted so they were more comfortably curled together.

“Would you tell me something I don’t know?”

“Hm?”

“About you. Tell me something I don’t know.” Elizabeth shifted her position so she could comfortably have both hands around Nadine.

“I started dancing when I was a little girl and danced clear through my early twenties. I performed with a Regional company through college in an ensemble and then after graduation, I got a part in a company touring Europe. I did that for a year before coming back and going to law school.”

“What made you stop dancing?”

“Roman, mostly. I knew dancing wasn’t a long-term viable thing, but I think I would’ve stuck it out longer if it hadn’t been for him.” She sighed, remembering.

“Is there evidence of any of this dancing?”

She chuckled. “There might be, actually. I have some photos, but I might have old VHS footage of the tour production.”

“I’d love to see it sometime, if you would be willing to share.”

Nadine met her eyes. “I’ll see if I can fine it… And what about you?”

“Me?”

“Tell me something about you?”

“Like what?”

“How about how this whole arrangement you and Henry have came to be? It still seems surprising that he would be up for it. He’s a pretty religious guy.”

“There’s… there’s a much bigger conversation, but the gist of it is that when we first met, I was determined to be the girlfriend and new wife he wanted. He got deployed the first time and I was miserable alone, but I refused, for obvious reasons, to entertain any notions of being with someone else. Stevie was born and I let myself become consumed into the mother and wife role.” She drew a breath. “Henry did a second tour and I met this mom and we got together almost every day. It wasn’t, it was totally just as friends, but Henry came back and commented on how much happier I was, and I finally was honest with him.”

“He took it okay?”

“It took him some time. First, I admitted the emotional connection and then, later, I told him about my sexuality, or what I understood of it at the time. By then I was just getting my toes wet at the CIA and began forming emotional bonds with a few coworkers. It took two years or so of discussions and then we found a place where he was okay with certain limits and I got to fill in the needs I had.”

Nadine turned so she could see Elizabeth’s face.

“I discuss every potential person with him, and he shares very honestly his comfort level. Back then I got a lot of no’s because he rightfully wanted me for himself. Now, I still get them, but his reasons why are much more specific, and I always respect his opinions.” She pressed a kiss to Nadine’s forehead. “I’m really glad he was okay with me taking a chance on you.” Elizabeth allowed a sigh to slip out. “Next trip, you’re rooming with me, I don’t care how we make that work. I have missed being with you so much.”

She had to agree. It’d only been a few months since things had been upended, tossing their already slowly regrowing relationship into a holding pattern. Greece had simply been far too soon after and then Russia had left them all scrambling to get America back in the diplomatic game. Because of the coup itself, she’d taken measures to limit the need to travel at all, worried about Elizabeth’s precarious mental health, but that now seemed to be making strides toward recovery. “You know… The little bed in the office is just big enough for two.” She waited a beat and then looked up at Elizabeth again.

“Really?”

She allowed a smile to draw across her lips. “It really does seem a bit of a waste of resources to sleep out here in these chairs when there’s a perfectly good bed available.” A kiss landed on her lips and this time it was insistent, bruising. When they pulled apart, she moved to stand. “Perhaps you should let Henry know you just might find yourself…busy… the rest of the flight.” Determined to appear confident, she turned and walked to the office without looking back.

A minute later, Elizabeth appeared in the doorway, stepping in and shutting the door, locking it for good measure. “I told my detail I was going to sleep and to not disturb me.” She crossed to the small bed, sitting beside Nadine. “Can you keep quiet?”

Nadine arched a brow at her.

“Right. I guess now I’m thankful that…” It looked like she was debating saying more but shook it away. Instead, when she curled her hands around Nadine’s side and neck, Nadine allowed herself to be pulled into a full, proper kiss.

=MS=

Biting her lower lip, Nadine’s eyes rolled back as her hands threaded into Elizabeth’s hair of their own accord. This was far beyond anything they’d done before, anything she’d expected of this encounter, and it made it hard for her to keep silent.

What she’d expected was perhaps more making out, some fondling and maybe, just maybe, the chance of getting off… They’d gotten one another off twice already and when Elizabeth had started for a third, she’d expressed her surprise only to receive a chuckle in response and a teasing comment about how, sometimes, it was just more fun with another woman.

It was how she ended up where she was now, with Liz, because the definitely wasn’t Elizabeth now, pressing her tongue along her center and teasing her clit like she didn’t know it was driving her crazy. She wanted to push her to keep going and pull her away at the same time. “I’ll scream, you have to stop.” She didn’t want her to stop, but she also didn’t want to have to face the agents later after a mind-blowing orgasm that they overheard.

“Are you close?”

“So damn close.”

“Okay.” The stroking stopped and then Liz’s body was over hers, lips taking her, and then fingers were circling her, pulling the final tense moment away until she was arching under her body. When she was coming down, Elizabeth’s lips found her ear. “Just thinking of you coming apart makes me want to touch myself, did you know that?”

She hummed. “No.”

“Want to see? Want to see what I can do to myself when I think of you?”

“Y-yes.”

Elizabeth shifted to the side, using the same hand to now work herself over though it was clear she was already very aroused. “I don’t even have to think of doing anything specific to you… I do like thinking of that day in my shower, what you must’ve looked like as you made yourself come. It makes me wonder what your thought are on toys.”

It wasn’t a question, but Nadine pulled her into a kiss before answering anyway. “I have toys. Maybe we can have show and tell sometime.”

Elizabeth moaned and stretched forward for another kiss before carrying on. “What about… what about a strap on? Would you let me fuck you?” When Nadine looked up to see if she was serious, blue eyes, hazy with need and so close to tumbling over, stared back at her. “Would you let me?... Would you fuck me?...” She gasped. “I think you need to kiss me again…”

Nadine complied, swallowing down the moan as Elizabeth came beside her.

=MS=

Nadine had major plans for the night. Despite the nap they’d shared on the plane… and coming three times… she was still exhausted from traveling through too many time zones and back again much too quickly. She planned on dropping off paperwork and then finding her bed to sleep. Or dig out her vibrator and _then_ sleep.

The jury was still out on which.

Finding a woeful and anxious Blake on the floor surrounded by piles of paperwork scuttled all her plans.

She wanted nothing more than to get home, but duty called, as it often did, and she couldn’t in good conscience walk away from him in the condition he was in. So, she sucked it up and offered what she could, alcohol to relax him and music to soothe his mind.

Hearing him sing reminded her of practicing for the PREF talent show and she rewarded his song by buying him another round. Some days just deserved getting drunk.

His arms were crossed again on the bar, his head on them and she couldn’t help but think that it did nothing for making him not look like a kid. “You did what you could with that brunch, tantrum aside.”

“You heard about that?”

“Henry gave us the full explanation while we were flying back.”

“Oh. I- I just keep screwing things up lately.” His sigh was heavy into the crook of his arm.

“You’ve had a run of bad luck, it happens. Give it time, things will turn around.”

“I know, I just… I wanted to make a good impression.”

Confused, she arched a brow at him in question.

“Henry… I wanted him to see I was a capable guy.”

“I’m not following, Blake.”

Even in the bar lighting, she could make out as a blush started to creep across his face. “Stevie was there. I- I knew she’d be there. I wanted to impress her too but… she laughed at us for screwing it all up.”

“… I thought you were gay…”

It was his turn to arch a brow her way. “I thought you were straight.”

“Touché.” She sipped her drink. After a minute to process that, she started again. “So, Stevie, huh?”

“… Yeah.”


	12. Chapter 12

It took her a minute to work out that the buzzing wasn’t just in her head. Fumbling in the direction of the sound, Nadine checked the screen before connecting the call, her throat dry and voice rough as she greeted her as best she could. She had no idea how Elizabeth sounded so awake and alert for it being the morning after election night. Shouldn’t she have been out, or in, celebrating as well?

“Did you get a dog?”

It was the odd question that made Nadine take pause, suddenly aware of the incessant barking by her side. “No, bye now.” She quickly ended the call, dread swirling through her as she finished sobering faster than she was sure she’d ever done before.

Of all the beds in all of Washington for her to wake up in the morning after election night, Nadine realized this was probably the worst one. “Oh my god…” She spoke into the air as the body beside her began to move. The night before was barely a fog of a memory. She’d dragged her coworkers out to The Brickmore and, somewhere in the haze of drinks and Matt’s whining over sex not being enough, had accepted a drink from Mike B.

Of all people.

They’d spent the rest of the evening arguing as she’d half-attempted to try and keep an eye on the others as they drank themselves silly. Mike had an uncanny way of driving her blood pressure up, and not in a fun way. It appeared she still didn’t mind a bit of hate sex now and again.

“So… waffles?” When she didn’t answer, Mike finally rolled to look at her. “Or do you not believe in carbs? Because after last night, I sure as hell need them.”

He was much too casual about their situation for her tastes. “I need to go.” She pushed to a sitting position, holding the sheet to her chest. “This was a horrible idea.” With her free hand, she did her best to push her hair into something presentable. Assessing stiff muscles as she tried to move about, her body screamed at her that it’d been a wild night, but then, she’d never had a problem pleasing a man.

She squeezed her eyes shut as part of a memory slammed to the forefront of large hands gripping her hips.

Mike laughed, making her drag her eyes back open as he tossed the covers back and climbed out, not caring he was naked. “This was amazing…” He looked back at her. “Really? Going shy on me already?”

“Mike… Would you please give me a moment to get dressed.” She wanted him gone. She didn’t care that it was his house, she’d throw his ass out on the curb to wait if it came to it.

He paused and seemed to read her distress before nodding. “Sure. The, uh, the bathroom’s through there.” He reached for a robe and some pants. “Waffles are still up for grabs.”

“I need to be going. I have to change and the Secretary’s already giving me things to handle this morning.” She looked his way, but didn’t meet his eye. It’d been a long time since she’d done something so irresponsible, so impulsive. She hated the sick feeling it left in her veins.

That made him pause in the doorway. “The Secretary?”

“Hm?” She’d hoped he wouldn’t catch that. She’d been trying to separate this disaster from thinking about Elizabeth as the person, out of anyone, she _should’ve_ been sharing a bed with last night.

“You didn’t call her Elizabeth. Even though you two are…” He didn’t finish, instead he simply nodded and pulled the door closed, leaving her alone.

Alone in the bedroom, Nadine allowed herself a moment to be ashamed of where she was sitting. Things had been going well. So well.

Eventually, she crawled out from under the covers and searched for her clothes, finding them strewn around the floor. As she pulled her underwear back on, she couldn’t help glaring at the bruised reminders of handprints on her hips and a bite on the curve of her breast. She was marked. Marked by a man she didn’t want to be marked by and it was her own fault.

Once she was fully dressed, Nadine nervously collected her jewelry and made her way through Mike’s house and to the front door. “I need to be going.” He was standing near the kitchen, watching her.

When he responded, his voice had lost all humor and teasing. “Of course. You know…” He waited for her to look up. “Bess won’t judge you for being with someone else. Well… she might judge that it’s me, but only because she doesn’t trust me to be honest in a relationship.” He took a step in her direction and she tensed. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“I- I need to go.” She repeated, opening the door and fleeing his house. There was so much she needed to do. She needed to talk to Elizabeth and make this right.

=MS=

It was after lunch, but it was the first opportunity all day that Nadine had found to catch Elizabeth in her office alone. Slipping in, she crossed the room. “Elizabeth. I wanted to-”

Elizabeth glanced up quickly as she shuffled files on her desk. “I understand that you want to talk, Nadine, but things are shifting fast with the raid and fallout from that. I really need to keep my focus on that right now.”

“I understand.” She sucked in a breath and turned to leave again. She so desperately wanted to apologize, to find out what it would take to make this right, but she’d have to wait. Work always came first.

“Wait.”

Cautiously, Nadine turned back.

“I’m not mad or- or upset. Surprised, perhaps… you and Mike aren’t exactly what I would term as friends, but I do know election night is a crazy time. Concerned a bit too, I don’t trust him not to hurt you. I’m sorry that’s how I found out. It wasn’t fair to you to not have the opportunity to share, or not, on your own terms.”

She nodded, staring down at her shoes. “Last night was a… blur. I wasn’t even awake enough when you called to remember where I was, so having that sink in while I was on the phone with you was uncomfortable, to say the least.” The sound of footsteps moving closer made her look up again to see Elizabeth rounding the desk and moving to her side. “I also felt like I somehow was unfaithful to you.” While she’d been in a number of relationships where she was with someone cheating on a partner, and she’d been cheated on herself, she’d never permitted herself to be unfaithful to a partner.

“You weren’t.” Nadine watched her look to the open door and then back again. “Please understand that I really want to be able to sit down and talk this all out with you. I want to be able to reassure you that whatever worries are running through your head right now don’t need to be, but…”

“Duty calls.” She finished.

“Yes.” She reached out, holding just above Nadine’s wrist for a moment before puling away. “I will do everything in my power to make this day end as quickly as possible.”

=MS=

Nadine pulled her front door open and couldn’t help laughing when Ruthie instantly pulled her into a rough hug. “It’s good to see you too.”

“Oh, Sis, how are you?”

“I’m doing okay. I’m glad you’re here. Here, let me take your things and come sit. I was just finishing dinner.”

A quick call after her conversation with Elizabeth and Ruth had jumped on the next flight out. “How was the trip?”

“Ugh! I hate airports! I hate the crowds. I really don’t see how you handle being in the city like this. Too many people around.”

“Well, I don’t spend a lot of time out in the city. I’m either here or at work or, you know, traveling.”

“Yes, I know. My big sister, the jet-setter.”

“That makes it sound like I spend my days on exotic beaches.” She laughed at the notion.

Ruthie sat on a stool in the kitchen. “So, Nay, what’s the news on your life? Are we still not talking about what you are or aren’t doing with your boss?” She was fishing, but it only made Nadine smile.

“We can talk about it.” When Ruth gleefully clapped her hands together, she shook her head in amusement.

“So, are you or aren’t you then?”

“I am. It’s been… interesting. We’re getting our footing and things are moving forward. She and her husband both seem to have more faith than I do that this situation isn’t going to leave me broken hearted and alone again.”

“Do they know about Vincent?”

“Yes… And some of the others, though not by name. They both claim to understand my hesitance.”

She didn’t miss Ruth giving her a questioning look. “And the husband, what is your relationship with him? You haven’t dug yourself into something else entirely now, have you?” She sighed. “Sis, I worry about you.”

“I know you do and… It’s not like that.” Nadine paused, staring at her younger sister for a moment, and then smiled. “He’s a friend. He’s a very devoted husband and a wonderful father. If I could find a guy who would look at me half that intensely, I’d be married again.”

Ruth laughed. “Have you decided whether you’re going to introduce me to them or not?”

She pretended to debate it. “Maybe. You have to swear to me you won’t try and interrogate either of them though, Ruthie. She’s the Secretary of State, she deserves respect.”

“I promise to be polite and respectful.”

Her lips pressed together. “Hm. I’m not sure if I believe you.”

“So, since we’re talking about it now, and I tell you everything about Ralph and I, tell me… Is the sex at least amazing?”

=MS=

Arm in arm with her sister, Nadine guided the way up the street to the restaurant. She spotted black SUVs already at the curb and familiar faces on the sidewalk, greeting them warmly. “Todd, Kyle. I hope you haven’t been here long.”

“No, Ma’am.” Todd shook his head. “Only a few minutes.” He reached out and opened the door for her. “Matt and Frank are in the back with the Secretary and Doctor McCord.”

“Thank you.”

After the door closed, Ruth giggled and leaned in. “That was very fancy.”

“Elizabeth gets six agents around the city and since it’s the same few most of the time, I get to know them. All of her staff do.” Her eyes landed on a familiar bulky frame. “They’re over there.” They weaved between tables to the back of the restaurant. “Matt.”

He turned, smiling at her. “Ma’am. Right through there.”

“Thank you.” Nadine let her sister go in first, the door closing behind them. At the table, Elizabeth and Henry stood to greet them as she made introductions.

As they all took their seats, Henry spoke first. “You two look amazingly alike.”

They both giggled. Ruth looked to her sister. “People used to ask if we were twins.”

“I can see it.” He smiled at them. “So, Ruth, what is it you do for a living?”

“Nothing nearly as exciting as all of you, I promise. I’m an optometrist.” She shrugged, grinning at Nadine. “Couldn’t let Nay be the only success in the family.”

Wine was poured and Nadine sat back, enjoying letting her sister regale them with stories meant to embarrass her and then stories about her nieces. When Ruth gushed about her grandson, Elizabeth’s hand found hers in her lap and threaded their fingers together and Nadine gave them a small squeeze, risking a glance her way before their attention returned to Ruth.

She’d been secretly nervous about this evening and was thankful it was going well. After their orders were placed, Henry excused himself a moment and Ruth’s attention shifted to Elizabeth. “It’s nice to see my sister happy.”

Elizabeth looked surprised but recovered quickly, slowly lifting their joined hands, giving Nadine time to pull back. “It’s nice to have her happy.” Their hands sat in the table surface. “It makes my day when I can make her smile.”

A blush rose along her neck and Nadine ducked her head.

“Isn’t it fun to make her do that?” Ruth laughed. “She doesn’t bat an eye about anything dirty, but pay her a compliment and she turns red.”

“You’re incorrigible.” She admonished her sister.

“You love me.” She grinned, pecking a kiss to her sister’s cheek. “And you’ll put up with any teasing from the people you love.” Nadine didn’t miss when Ruth’s eyes cut to Elizabeth at the end of her sentence. “Won’t you?”

“You’re right.” Henry returned before anything more was said and took a seat, picking up the conversation he’d been having with Ruth again.

Once they were distracted, Elizabeth leaned closer to whisper. “You look very happy tonight.” Nadine pulled back enough to catch the twinkle of pleasure in her eyes. “And a blush really does always look wonderful on you.”

She ducked her head, feeling a fresh blush rising along her neck. She became aware the conversation between Henry and Ruth had lulled and she risked glancing back up, finding them both smiling in the direction of herself and Elizabeth.

Ruth looked back to Henry. “Okay, I see it now.”

Nadine was about to ask for clarification, but the pair resumed their original conversation.

The hand in hers squeezed, bringing her gaze back to Elizabeth. “I know we haven’t had that talk, but please know that you and I are okay.” She seemed to read the confusion in Nadine’s face. “You called your sister almost immediately after our brief talk in my office and she arrived the same night. You were worried, upset still, and she came running to your side. I’m happy to know you have such a close relationship with her, that you have her support.”

“She’s been after me to get to meet your for a long time.”

“As any good sister should. You know, maybe we should plan a day, you and I, hm? Maybe we could ride up to New York and do something.”

“I- I think we should wait.” She had no doubt, with that smoldering look in Elizabeth’s eyes, what a day out would include.

“Okay. But… talk to me.”

“There are… bruises. Marks. I’m sure they’ll be gone in a week or so, but I’m ashamed of them. I don’t want you to see them.” They were healing, but she didn’t want to look at them herself, so she really didn’t want to see Elizabeth’s face as she looked at another person’s marks on her body. Least of all when that other person was Mike B.

A curled finger gently brushed the underside of her chin, lifting her face the tiniest bit. “Did he…” Elizabeth’s voice was soft, but the concern in her eyes filled in what Nadine couldn’t catch.

It made her want to laugh at the wrongness of it all. “No. God no. Unfortunately, I was a very eager and active participant. I really don’t want to talk about it. I don’t want to think about it. I want to pretend it was an awful nightmare and nothing more.”

Elizabeth carried on studying her a minute longer before giving a small nod. “Okay.” She pulled back just as the door opened and a waiter entered.

=MS=

“I bet you two are hot when you kiss.”

“Ruth!”

Her sister began laughing so hard she toppled backward on the couch where she’d been perched.

Nadine couldn’t help but wonder sometimes how, even this many decades out of high school, her sister could still make her feel like they were teenagers even now.

“They way she kept looking at you last night, Nay…” She whistled as she sat upright again. “I mean, I can see what you meant about Henry, he only had eyes for his wife and he _really_ seemed to like the attention she was giving you. But Elizabeth, I’m telling you, that was more than infatuation. I’d bet my degree that she’s as hung up on you as she is Henry.”

Nadine rolled her eyes, finally taking a seat by her sister. “She says she loves me.”

“…And?”

“And…” She sighed. “And it doesn’t feel like a transaction when she says it.”

“Have you said it back?”

“No.”

Ruth’s brows went up in surprise. “Why not?”

“I’m not ready.”

“I’m not buying it.” She smirked. “You’re having sex with her-”

“Sex has nothing to do with love.” She cut in.

“True. But you spend non-work, non-sex time with her. If anything, you do more of that than the other. And the amount of time you put into worrying about if you are doing this all right? If it was a fling, you wouldn’t care.” When Nadine started to argue that point, she raised a finger. “Did you care this much with Vincent?”

“Well… no.”

“And you were with him _six years_ , Nadine. And you’ve admitted you were in love with him…. So… Do you love Elizabeth?”

Nadine stared at her sister for a minute, pondering her question. The answer was obviously, really. “Yes, I think I do.”


	13. Chapter 13

Nadine stood on the tiny balcony and stared down at the city below as it shined in the darkness. The glass door slid open behind her and then closed again. A glass of wine appeared in her line of vision and she accepted it, taking a sip before hands curved over her shoulders, massaging into the muscles and along her shoulder blades. “Oh, that feels good.” She tipped her head back, groaning at the pressure. “That was the last call for the night?”

“It was.” Elizabeth’s hands found all the knots as she carried on what she was doing. “It’s just you and I now.” Nadine felt her move closer until she was pressed against the half wall and her hair was brushed aside, lips finding the soft spot behind her ear. “And room service just dropped off dessert as well.”

“I didn’t know you’d called down.”

One hand slid down her back and then around, teasing the underside of her breast. “They had tiramisu. I asked for extra cream and a bowl of raspberries, because I know you like them so much.” She pressed another kiss to Nadine’s neck.

“Have you ever just been amazed at how beautiful a city like this can be at night? Streetlights, cars, buildings with only occasional windows still lit. It just… shimmers.”

The hands stopped moving as arms wrapped around her, hugging her from behind. “I don’t often just appreciate wherever we are. I’m usually too busy rushing from meeting to phone call.”

“I was out here thinking… I can’t remember the last time I was somewhere for the simple pleasure of being there. Outside of the tri-state area I mean. I’ve never just seen Rome… or London. I did Venice once years ago, but…”

“Why don’t you ever take any of your vacation time?”

It didn’t surprise her that Elizabeth knew she didn’t. “There never seems to be a break in me being needed and… I doubt I’d enjoy being away on my own.”

“You could visit your sister.”

“I could.”

“You don’t want to?” When she didn’t answer, Elizabeth pulled away and slowly turned her around. “Nadine…”

She stared at Elizabeth a minute, taking in the way her blue eyes searched for the answer she’d not yet given, the way her attention was so completely on her and her alone. She wasn’t sure how to voice the thing in her head, so instead she placed her glass down and followed her first impulse, pulling Elizabeth into a slow kiss, not minding when she was pressed back against the wall.

When they finally broke apart, Nadine softly smiled. “How about that dessert then?” She took Elizabeth’s hand and pulled her back inside, dropping it once she spotted the tray. “In here or in the bedroom?”

“You pick.”

“On the sofa.” Together, they gathered what they needed and Nadine sat first, pulling Elizabeth into her lap for once. “I’ll feed you.” She giggled. “I promise not to make a mess of it.”

“I trust you.”

Carefully breaking the dessert apart with a fork, she first offered a small piece to Elizabeth before taking a bite herself. Quietly, they worked through most of it before Nadine spoke up again. “Ruth and I agree on a great many things in our lives, but how to enjoy a vacation isn’t one of them. It’s only gotten worse the higher up I moved in the government. She has a hard time grasping how hard it is for me, as your Chief of Staff, to just travel the world for vacation.” She paused, wondering if Elizabeth would try and jump in with some word of comfort or encouragement. When she didn’t, she carried on. “You know I traveled with Vincent to Caracas. We went to the Bahamas twice as well and then… we tended to make any work trip where the whole staff didn’t need to travel along into a bit of a romantic getaway.”

It was that that made Elizabeth sit up and face her. “I never… Does what we do bring up bad memories? Is that why you’ve been reluctant when we’re travelling. I didn’t know.”

“At first… a bit. But then I realized it’s not the same at all.” She tugged Elizabeth back into place. “You respect me as a person and… I look forward to us being together as much for this part of things as any of the other.” They finished the last of the tiramisu and she placed the dish on the floor before nudging Elizabeth to roll over and then pulled her into a kiss. When they finally broke apart, Nadine stared up at her a moment and then said the first thing that came to her mind. “Would you mark me?”

“What?”

“I- I-” She felt a blush rising. “I want to be able to see where you’ve touched me. I-I want to see it and remember you and this.”

“Are you sure? This isn’t just because of what happened between you and Mike?”

She shook her head. “I promise. I want this, with you.”

Slowly, she pushed to her feet and offered her hand to Nadine, pulling her up as well. Abandoning the rest of the food, Nadine let herself be pulled into the bigger bedroom, waiting as the door was shut and locked. Elizabeth crossed to her, gently toying with the buttons on the front of Nadine’s blouse. “What would you like?”

“To not be treated like I’m made of glass.” She took over, pulling her own shirt off and working her pants open, letting them slide down her hips. “I won’t break.” When she realized Elizabeth was content for the moment to watch, she made a strip tease out of stepping out of her pants and then removing her bra and underwear. When she was naked, save for the necklace she’d been wearing, Nadine sat on the edge of the bed and tipped her chin up. “Your turn.”

She watched Elizabeth tug down the zipper of her dress and then pull it off, revealing she was wearing nothing but a bra beneath. When she gasped, Elizabeth smiled. “I didn’t want anything in the way if our night went the way I’d hoped.” The bra dropped away and then Elizabeth was pushing her back until she was laying down, toes still brushing the floor. One hand nudged her thighs apart just enough to cup her center. “How would you feel about being tied up?” The rush of damp against her hand made her grin. “I see you approve of that… How about if I tease you until you want to scream?” Her grin grew and she leaned in, kissing Nadine. “What about leaving bites in your perfect skin?”

That one made Nadine’s hips twitch as well. “If you tie me up, you’ll have to gag me as well.” She caught Elizabeth’s pause. “What?’

“I don’t want you to not be able to say if I’m doing something wrong. No gag, not here anyway. We’ll just have to keep you from screaming some other way.”

She had a reply ready, but two fingers pushed into her and instead she arched back off the bed with a moan.

=MS=

A sheen of sweat coated her skin. Her hands were tied to a post of the headboard and Nadine was doing her level best not to cry out. She could feel the places Liz had held her hips and thighs as she’d toyed with her core. She could feel the places where she’d been bitten and sucked until her flesh was undoubtedly bruised. When she looked in the mirror tomorrow, she wouldn’t see marks left by someone else, but only by Liz, the one person she was happy to be owned in such a way by.

There was only one thing left of the evening to do and she was on the verge of begging for it. “Liz, Liz, Liz… Please…”

Her tongue, flat and light, pressed against Nadine’s core again and she cried out in frustration.

“Please let me come.” The words finally came out. “Dear god, let me come.” No sooner had the words gasped out than, finally, pressure was applied to her clit and Nadine had to turn her face into her arm to keep from drawing attention of people in other rooms. It felt like it took forever for her body to ride out the waves created by Liz’s constant stroking, working the orgasm out of her as if she were milking her. Just as she was becoming too sensitive, hands pulled away, massaging the still-tensed muscles of her thighs until she was coming down.

Nadine panted, barely able to roll her head to see where Elizabeth was knelt still. “I want to kiss you.” When she crawled up her body and pressed their lips together, Nadine couldn’t help the words that came out next. “I love you so much. I-” Her eyes widened, but then she carried on. “I love you, Elizabeth McCord.” Her voice cracked and caught on her name and then, much to her horror and embarrassment, tears tracked across her temples and into her hair. “I love you. And I’m- I’m in love with you.”

Her hands were freed and then she found herself being rolled to the side and pulled into Elizabeth’s arms. “I’m so happy to hear you say it.” They started kissing again and Nadine snaked a hand down the planes of Elizabeth’s body until she found her clit and began pressing in circles. She knew the other woman had to be close already and wasn’t surprised when, only moments later, she was crying out against her mouth.

As she came down, Nadine pulled back only enough to see her face. “I love you.”

=MS=

Nadine stared in the mirror before she worked on getting dressed for the day. She’d asked Elizabeth to mark her and she’d not been disappointed. Touching them one at a time, she thought about how they would feel as she moved throughout the day. There was one on the back of her thigh, it was likely to ache blissfully each time she sat, and then the one on her shoulder, she’d have to wear a shirt with sleeves, but it was right were her bag often sat. There were others, though, too. The ones on her hips, this time making her smile, and the bites on her stomach and chest. They all ached wonderfully.

A soft knock drew her attention. “Yes?”

Elizabeth stepped in, eyes instantly on the bruises. “My god… I’m so sorry, Nadine.”

She smiled. “Don’t be. This is what I wanted.”

A finger traced some of the marks. “Will your clothes cover it?”

“I’ll be fine.” She tugged her close, kissing her. “I love you… Sorry. Now that that dam’s opened…”

“I get it. I find myself wanting to tell you all the time too.”

“If you want, you can kiss them all better.” She allowed teasing to slip into her voice.

“I just might.” She crowded her against the counter, gripping her hips hard, right over the bruises which made Nadine gasp more than normal, and then lifted her just enough to push her back. “I’ll kiss everything better.”

Before Nadine could respond, Elizabeth was on her knees, eating her out. All she could think to do was bury one hand in her hair, the other gripping the counter desperately for purchase, as she rode the race to her climax. By the time Elizabeth was on her feet, pulling her close, Nadine could feel the flush over her body as she panted back into the present.

“I’ll let you get cleaned up.” She started to slip away.

“Why- Why? Not that I’m complaining, but… why?”

“Because you said you loved me.”

“Oh.” She watched her leave, willing her body to cooperate so she could finish getting ready. Rushing around the room, Nadine hurried through everything so she was put together when the others came in. Half an hour later, she stepped into the room and headed right for the coffee while the rest of the team chatted at the far end of the room.

Sorting out the breakfast goods, Blake greeted her and then froze, eyes wide. She didn’t miss how he wasn’t staring at her face, something very out of character for him.

“Blake?”

He flushed a deep crimson, his voice a whisper. “Um, you, uh…”

“Use your words.”

He rushed what he wanted to say together so it came out as one long word. “You might want to button a few more buttons on your shirt.”

“What? Why?” She tried to look down at what she was wearing.

He leaned closer, a hand coming up to his chest as if he were smoothing his tie, except two fingers landed on his shirt just to the right of it. “You have a bite…here… I really don’t think you’ll be able to pull of the curling iron excuse.”

It was her turn to flame red as she rushed to button more of her blouse. “Thank you.”


	14. Chapter 14

Letting herself into the office via the vestibule door, Nadine hesitated. Elizabeth as curled on the couch under a blanket. Silently backing out, she backtracked clear to Blake’s desk. “Has something happened?”

Confusion was obvious in his eyes. “With what?”

“She’s asleep.”

“Oh…” His gaze dropped away.

“What?”

“She wasn’t feeling well this morning. I- I thought you already knew. I’m sorry.”

Nadine stared toward the office. “No, I didn’t. Why’d she come in then?”

He shrugged. “Stevie texted me before pick-up and gave me a heads up. That’s why I rode with the detail this morning, I wanted to catch her off guard and see for myself.”

When he didn’t elaborate, she took a step closer to his chair. “And?”

“She has no business being here.” She watched him frown. “I tried to keep her home, but she knew you were on the Hill this morning and wouldn’t be here for the morning briefing. Everyone else has been keeping their distance so they don’t catch whatever it is.”

“Henry’s already gone?”

Blake nodded. “Confirmed in the air and unreachable. He’d just turned his phone off, I guess, when I tried to call him this morning.” He checked his watch. “He’ll be on the ground about two in the morning our time tomorrow.”

“And chances are he has no idea she’s taken ill.”

“I would say you’re probably correct. I would have hoped one of us would’ve gotten at least a message about it if he’d known.”

Nadine agreed. Henry would have said something to one of them. “Well, in that case… Clear her schedule for the day.”

“Already have.”

“Right… Can you talk to Maggie about clearing mine as well? I’ll go handle the Secretary.”

“Good luck.”

With a small chuckle, Nadine let herself back into the office, this time with a different goal in mind. Sitting on the edge of the low table, she rested a hand on Elizabeth’s shoulder. “Elizabeth. I need you to wake up.”

Slowly, she rolled over, eyes bleary and nose red. “Nadine…”

Ignoring the normal distance they maintained at work, she brushed a hand over her forehead. “You’re burning up. I’m going to have Blake notify your detail and then I’m taking you home.”

“Too much work to do.”

“Not today. You shouldn’t have come in.” She watched Elizabeth push upright and then sway in her seat. “I’ll gather what you think you need to take home.” Rising, she crossed to the desk, pulling Elizabeth’s bag out as she pressed the button on the phone and lifted the receiver.

“Yes?”

“Call the motorcade. She’s going home.”

“Willingly?”

Nadine scoffed.

“Right. I’ll let them know.”

“Thank you.”

=MS=

Nadine pushed the front door shut, blocking out the attention from the agents on the sidewalk, before turning and helping Elizabeth with her things. The house was quiet, which was to be expected. It was still in the middle of the day; everyone else was either at work or at school. “Let’s get you upstairs.”

Elizabeth didn’t protest being led to the bedroom, sitting on the bench at the end of the bed.

“Do you want help or can you change into something more comfortable yourself?”

“I- I got it.”

“Okay. I’ll go find something for you to take. I’ll be right back.” Nadine slipped into the bathroom, considering the layout before she started rummaging through the cabinets in search of something to help Elizabeth’s symptoms. Through the open doorway, she could hear her moving around, hopefully changing for bed. Under the cabinets on the left were only Henry’s things, so she moved her way to the right, finding towels and then make-up and personal products next. The final cabinet held what she was looking for. She knelt down to work out what would likely have the fastest effect on Elizabeth’s symptoms, setting aside what she needed and putting the rest back. As she pushed the small crate the bottles were in back into place, something tucked in the back caught her eye. Her breath caught and she threw a glance to the bedroom before reaching in and pulling the zipper pouch out. Carefully, she pulled the zip down, her eyes widening.

“Nadine?”

Quickly, she put the pouch back where she’d found it and shut the doors. “Yeah?”

“Would you… I think I have a water glass in there… Would you bring it in?”

“Of course.” She gathered the drugs and the water, carrying everything back to the bedroom. She was pleased to see Elizabeth had managed to change into pajama pants and what looked like one of Henry’s shirts. “Let’s get you taken care of, shall we? You should’ve stayed home today and not dragged yourself to the office.” Taking a seat on the bed, she brushed Elizabeth’s hair to the side before cupping her cheek. “It shouldn’t take Henry or I to make you care for yourself. I brought something that should help you feel a bit better and breathe easier. Then you just need sleep.”

“Stay?”

“Yes.” She sighed. “I’m going to stay. I brought the bag from my office, so I’m going to go and change and then see if there isn’t chicken broth or something in the kitchen for you to try and eat. If I do need to leave, I’ll make sure you know.”

Eyes already clouding with exhaustion, Elizabeth smiled up at her. “Thank you.”

She pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Sleep now. I love you.” Once she was satisfied that Elizabeth was headed to sleep, Nadine made her way back downstairs to first change and then work out where anything was in the kitchen.

=MS=

“Yes, Blake?” Nadine answered her phone. She’d been keeping an eye on Elizabeth through the afternoon.

“Just checking in to see if you needed anything.”

“She’s sleeping. There is one thing, though…”

“Name it.”

“What is the name of that restaurant with the homemade chicken noodle soup?”

There was a pause as he thought. “Moxo. The best soup was definitely Moxo.”

“Right. I don’t suppose you would be willing to pick some up? I’m not really seeing anything in the kitchen for her to try and get down.”

“I can do that. Just soup?”

“I believe so. Thank you, Blake.”

“My pleasure. Will you be out tomorrow as well?”

“I don’t know yet.”

“I’ll warn Maggie either way. I’ll see you in about an hour.”

“Thank you.” Gathering her phone and fresh water, Nadine climbed the stairs once again, placing the items down before crawling onto the bed. “It’s just me.” Elizabeth barely moved, so she reached out, checking by touch to see if she still had a fever. Shifting the blanket, she got settled into place and helped Elizabeth curl against her shoulder.

Time passed slowly, but eventually her phone beeped. When she checked, she found a message from Blake saying he was outside, so she replied for him to bring the food in, that they were upstairs. She didn’t expect, though, for him to appear cautiously in the doorway a few minutes later.

“Sorry.” He whispered. “I just- I didn’t know if you needed anything else while I’m here.”

“We’re okay.” She didn’t miss how he didn’t look away this time and she wondered what he thought. It was the first time since they had started being together over a year ago now that they’d made any kind of physical contact when he could witness it and now here she was, laying in Elizabeth’s bed with her sound asleep in her arms. “Blake?”

“Hm? Yeah, right… I’ll… I could wait downstairs for the kids. They’ll… they’ll probably be home soon. I can let them know she’s up here asleep?” She could see the desire to be helpful on his face. “Would save you getting surprised by them coming in.”

“I’d appreciate that.”

“And… Just in case you get a message? I left word for Henry of what happened for when he lands.” He gave a curt nod and vanished from the doorway.

Laying quietly, Nadine let herself revel in the domesticity of it. Of so openly caring for and holding Elizabeth close in the middle of the day, in her home.

=MS=

“Thank you, guys, for looking after Mom.” Both Nadine and Blake glanced up when Stevie spoke. “I knew she was sick this morning, but she doesn’t listen to me.”

“Yeah.” Ali piped up. “And thanks for dinner. We were set to order Thai in and eat straight from the cartons.” When Nadine’s eyes widened in mock horror at the notion, she laughed. “Mom lets us eat like a bunch of unsupervised kids when Dad’s away.”

Amused, Nadine exchanged a look with Blake, who replied. “That’s because _she_ eats that way any time she thinks she can get away with it.”

She’d just reached for the door of the dishwasher to open it when Jason gently waved her away. “I’ll do it, don’t worry about it.”

Nadine tipped her head, smiling at him. “Thank you, Jason.” She took a step back, watching the siblings work together cleaning up from dinner and then go their separate ways, teasing and joking as they went. Blake had intended on leaving as soon as the kids had gotten home, but at their insistence, he’d stayed for dinner. Now, when she turned as the kids vanished to various parts of the house, she found him watching her. She arched a brow in question.

He leaned closer even though it was just them now. “You look happy.”

“I-” She wasn’t sure how to respond to that.

She watched him nod. “I get it.” He glanced at her. “I really do.” His eyes drifted toward the front of the house. “Going after happy can be really scary… What if it falls apart? Hm?... What if- what if you’re not enough or… What if you say that thing and they don’t say it back…”

Watching the distant look on his face, she suspected they’d stopped talking about she and Elizabeth now. “What if they do say it back?”

“What?” His eyes snapped to hers.

“What if it doesn’t fall apart?... What if you are enough?”

He swallowed. “Have you… Have you said…” She gave him a small nod and his face lit up when he smiled in response. “That’s- that’s good… Good for you… Really.”

She looked around the kitchen and what she could see of the rest of the downstairs before finally finding him again. “Maybe… Maybe we could both be so lucky. I won’t tell you it’s not scary… I think I spent… spend… half my time scared out of my mind. What if this ends up like with… with Vincent? Expendable and…”

“It’s not the same.” When she stared at him, he looked at her curiously. “What?”

“Both Elizabeth and Henry keep telling me that.”

Seeming emboldened by the talk, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders in a half hug. “Maybe you should listen then.”

“Maybe.” After a minute, she straightened and held out her glass. “A toast.”

He copied her. “To?”

“Finding happy.” She drew a breath and let it out. “And to the McCords…” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “May we ever be so lucky.”


	15. Chapter 15

She couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t breathe and she couldn’t taste anything, so she had no urge to try and eat the bowl of soup that swam on a table just beyond her vision. Her body was both boneless and aching all over at once. She tried to swallow, but her throat was dry and sore and on fire.

She couldn’t remember if she’d intended to cry about it… or if she already had.

It had been years since she’d last been sick. Now she remembered why she’d gone to such great lengths to avoid it.

To avoid being around sick people.

She’d stopped being sick about the time she stopped having a child who would drag every virus under the sun home and then beg for snuggles until he was better.

When she could breathe without feeling like her chest was on fire, she planned on mentioning that to Elizabeth.

The bed sagged as someone sat on it and a tiny part of her brain wondered if she should panic about someone being in her condo, but then she decided that maybe they’d kill her and make the misery stop.

“Water or soup?” The voice was deep.

Right. Henry.

She opened her mouth to answer, but all that came out was a raspy squeak.

“I’ll even spoon feed you if it’s too much work to handle it yourself.”

Nadine pried an eye open, trying her hardest to glare at him. Judging by the momentary grin on his face, she failed spectacularly.

“Thirty years of Elizabeth as a patient, trust me, you’re a cake walk… And not nearly as scary as the rumors claim.”

She wanted to ask how he knew about those… She’d worked hard to cultivate them… But knew any attempt to talk would result in nothing more than another undignified sound.

“I am sorry I didn’t know she was sick and I’m sorry she gave it to you. Please let me do penance by helping you get better?”

She wanted to say she didn’t want him there, but in her current state, in worn pajamas and buried to her ears in blanket, she probably didn’t look all that convincing. Instead, she shut her eye and burrowed deeper. If death wasn’t destined to come, perhaps unconsciousness would at least welcome her.

“Nadine. Come on. You haven’t drunk anything in hours, I need you to have something.”

She wondered exactly how long he’d been there to know that… How long had she been sick so far? She remembered being aware she was running a fever as she’d left work yesterday. Was that still yesterday? How much time had passed?

The blanket pulled away from her face. “I need you to sit up and get something in you. You’re getting dehydrated.”

Wincing at the aches as she tried to roll onto her back, she forced herself to look up at him.

“Do you want help sitting up?”

She nodded silently.

Henry stood, gently sitting her upright and then rearranging the pillows before easing her back. “Water or soup?”

Nadine held up one finger. A moment later, a plastic straw was brushing her lips. Cautiously, she took a sip and then turned her head to push it away.

“I’m worried… I think you need to be seen by a doctor.”

It took all her limited strength, but she arched a brow at him.

“If you stay dehydrated too long, you’ll get more sick very quickly. I could- Elizabeth’s brother Will, he’s a doctor… I could have him come make a house call. It would save you going out when you really don’t feel like it.”

She wanted to tell him no, tell him she’d be just fine, but something in the worried look on his face scared her. She nodded.

=MS=

“Lizzie’s at work?” The voice was an unfamiliar whisper.

“There was something she couldn’t move off her schedule. Not with her out already… I agreed to come instead.”

“She keeps checking in?”

“Every hour.”

There was a soft chuckle. “So, is this strictly work-related concern or…” The room went silent. “Right.” The bed shifted. “Nadine? I’m going to listed to your heart and what I can of your breathing, okay?” A beat later, the round end of a stethoscope pressed to her chest. “Her lungs sound horrible and her heartrate’s fast. She’s working too hard to breathe and fight the fever.”

“And the other thing?”

“Oh, she’s definitely really dehydrated. She’s not going to like my advice, but I have a feeling it’s up to you at the moment… She needs to be at the hospital and…” The bed shifted again. “She’s been altered?”

There was a soft noise. “Knowing her as well as I do… Sometimes it seems like she’s seeing or hearing something that’s not really here.”

_Wait, what?_

“I can call in for a medical transport… If you’re worried about how pissed she’ll be, I’ll take the heat.” There was another, longer, pause. “You should probably call Lizzie and tell her what’s happening. She’ll no doubt want to meet us there.”

=MS=

Nadine forced her eyes open. It took a moment for her surroundings to sink in. She was in a hospital. Turning her head, she frowned at the feel of a tube under her nose and then the heavy tape holding an IV line in her hand.

The door opened before she could catalogue anything else. “Hey, you!” Elizabeth’s smile was wide. “I am so happy to see you awake.” The door shut behind her and then Elizabeth was sitting close on the bed. “I was worried.”

“H-” She worked to clear her throat. “How long…?” Her voice was still raspy and sore.

Elizabeth’s smile fell. “Four days. I just- When Henry said Will had called an ambulance for you, Nadine…” Tears stared to well up in her eyes. “I was so worried about you.”

Reaching out, Nadine took one of her hands.

“You can’t scare me like that. Okay? I need you here.”

She nodded, forcing her voice to work. “Don’t get me sick then.” She did her best to smile so Elizabeth knew she was teasing.

Laughing, Elizabeth nodded as well. “Okay, I won’t.” Leaning in, she brushed her lips to Nadine’s. “I so badly wanted to trade places with you in this bed… I love you.”

“I love you too.”


	16. Chapter 16

Nadine looked up from her desk just in time to catch a glimpse of Elizabeth rushing back to her office. Concerned, she rushed after, making it through the doorway herself just as Elizabeth sank into her chair. “Is there a problem?”

There was irritation in the look shot her way. “Henry.”

Nadine turned and shut the door so they had some privacy. “About?” She took a seat across from the desk.

“He’s going to Israel to stop a biological attack.”

“…When?”

“He flies out tonight apparently. I got ambushed in the Oval Office in front of Conrad and Russell, who had to get snarky about it. The guy who’s still limping around on crutches because he got _shot_ and I thought he was going to _die_ , not for the first time, mind you, and he has to be boots on the ground in Israel?”

She listened, waiting for Elizabeth to run out of steam. Once she sounded done, Nadine tried to see both sides. “It is his job… And he is a trained Marine.”

“I know that.” She huffed. “He’s also my husband. My injured husband.” There was considerably less hostility already.

“Would it help me at all to point out the number of times I’ve known you to run headlong into harms way for the greater good?” When blue eyes narrowed at her, she chuckled. “Right. Well… We’ll get you home early so you can spend time with him before he leaves.”

“You come over?”

“Not tonight. You two need to talk and… say your proper goodbyes.” She rose to leave. “What about the kids?”

“Sorry?”

“If Henry’s going to Israel and we’re still going to Rome? I know you’ve had Blake stop in as well in the past, but he’s going to Rome with us.”

“Hopefully Stevie can stand in.”

=MS=

Watching Trevor walk away, she couldn’t help noticing the pained look still on Blake’s face. She turned back to Matt. “Matt, we’ll me you upstairs. I need to have Blake handle one other thing before the Secretary is out of her meeting.”

“Yeah, sure.”

She waited for him to disappear before tugging Blake to a quiet corner. “That wasn’t just running into a former colleague… Was it?” Nadine studied him. “You said you weren’t looking forward to seeing anyone from your finance days here, but you really meant him.”

She watched him nod. “Yes. To- to all of that.”

“I am sorry.” She looked around the busy room they were in. “We’ll talk more later, okay? Perhaps during the dinner? One we get the Secretary where she needs to be.”

He finally looked right at her. “I’d appreciate that.”

=MS=

From a wingback chair, Nadine silently watched Elizabeth talk on the phone with Stevie and Henry, surmising most of what she needed to know from the one side of the conversation she could hear. She didn’t intervene until the call ended. “Everything okay?” She followed her into the bathroom. “How’s Jason?”

“He’s fine. False alarm. Stevie skipped her interview to deal with him because I’m such a sucky mom that now I’m interfering with my kids’ lives in a negative way.” She held out a bottle of wine. “Don’t suppose you know where the opener’s gone, do you?”

Nadine smirked. “I do.”

“You hid it.”

“I may have.” She ignored the bottle and stepped up to her, tugging Elizabeth’s blouse free of her skirt. “How about instead I help you get ready.”

“Then I can have wine?”

“You can not go to the dinner already tipsy.”

“One glass?”

Nadine playfully rolled her eyes. “Get naked and then I’ll go find the opener.”

That made Elizabeth grin. “Oh, I like that trade-off.”

“I figured you would.” She turned back into the main room to collect the opener and two glasses. Her phone beeped just as she was reentering the bathroom.

“Problem?”

“No, uh, just Blake is all. I agreed to meet up with him shortly for a drink. He’s headed down to the bar to wait.”

“Already? It’s kind of early yet, isn’t it?”

“He’s had a… surprisingly long day.”

“That you’re not going to tell me about.”

“That’s correct.” She didn’t try and fight when Elizabeth pulled her close enough to kiss. “And nothing you’re considering doing to me is going to change my mind on that. I would never break someone’s confidence unless I truly felt it was warranted.”

That made her pull back again, a worried crease forming between her brows. “Is he okay?”

She considered that a moment and then sighed. “He will be. Enough about the others, I plan on making good use of the few minutes we have.”

=MS=

Once she was sure Elizabeth was on her way to the dinner, Nadine messaged Blake to let him know she was on her way down, surprised when he said he was coming up instead. When she let him in the room, he looked bothered. “What’s up?”

“Trevor found me in the bar.”

“I’m sorry.”

“He’s just so… gah!” When she sat, he copied her. “He still knows how to push my buttons.”

“Exes are good at that.” After a beat, she sought clarification. “You’re interested in Stevie, but… Trevor’s an ex, right?”

“Right.”

“So that makes you…?”

“Bisexual.” He seemed to shrink back. “Trevor had a few judgments about that. He called it a thing I was on.”

“But… Isn’t he gay? And he’s passing judgement on you?”

“He is. Openly. It was a major point of contention in our relationship. And yes… even gay people can be biphobic.”

She sighed. “Well. Thank you for trusting me.”

That made him look up, an arch to one brow. “Are you not in a relationship with a woman after having been with all men?”

“I have no idea what to call myself. It’s all too confusing. Yes, I’ve only ever dated men…except Elizabeth. I’m not sure I’d label myself as bisexual though. I just… I still consider myself straight.” She didn’t miss the look he gave her. “I know… It’s all just so- so much sometimes. I don’t want to take the time to label it.”

=MS=

She hadn’t been expecting to hear from Elizabeth as soon as he’d walked back through the door of her condo upon returning home. “Elizabeth? Is something wrong?”

“I, um… He said you knew, so- so I just… I was wondering if you’d be okay with me cancelling our thing this weekend?”

“Of course, but… who did you mean by ‘he’?”

“Blake. He- he came out to me when we dropped him off. He was pretty beside himself; I want to make sure he doesn’t panic himself into a tizzy by Monday.” Nadine heard her sigh. “I don’t know what that old boyfriend said to him but… Knowing about you and I, how could he ever fear telling me?” There was clear hurt in her voice. “It feels like I’ve been doing something wrong to cause that.”

“You haven’t. There’s- I think there’s more to it. Perhaps he’ll tell you this weekend. Though, that does explain the text I just got from him as I was getting out of my car.”

“…He’s said something?”

“The text said something to the effect that he made a fool of himself and would be drinking his way through his liquor cabinet tonight. As for anything else, I’m sorry, I can’t really answer that.” It was her turn to sigh. “How about dinner then? I’ll keep my evenings free and if it looks like you’ll have the time, we’ll do something on the fly.”

“I always have time for you, Nadine.” Elizabeth’s words made her blush. “I’ll call you. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”


	17. Chapter 17

“So, the lodgings we get in New York, we have the whole floor for everyone, but the main suite, I don’t know if you remember, is three rooms.”

Nadine looked up over the tops of her glasses. “I do remember that.” When Elizabeth looked her way, she gave her a knowing smile. “POTUS is a floor down, right?”

“Correct. I was just thinking, it’ll be nice to be in New York with you.”

“Henry isn’t coming?”

Elizabeth shook her head. “No reason to and Alison is moving off to college. She needs him there.”

“And you. You’ll be there too; we’ll work it out. And Stevie is travelling with the White House staff?”

Finally, Elizabeth stood from her desk and moved to sit beside Nadine on the couch. “She is. But, I was thinking… You and I, New York… Maybe we could find an evening to spend some time together.”

When she turned her face, Elizabeth’s was barely a breath away. “Like?”

She smiled. “Maybe we could get lucky and catch something on Broadway.” She leaned a little closer, bringing their lips almost together until a knock tapped on the door. Elizabeth placed a quick peck at the corner of Nadine’s mouth before shifting fully into the corner of the couch, creating a space between them. “Come in!” She called out.

Blake stepped in, looking between them. “Ma’am, your brother Will is on the line.”

“Oh!” She stood and returned to her desk to take the call.

Aware Blake hadn’t moved, Nadine looked back to him, receiving a knowing smirk before he finally turned to leave.

=MS=

The short flight to New York and then the drive into the city to their hotel had been hard only because Nadine found herself spending the entire morning fending off Elizabeth’s playful tiny touches. It was still mid-morning by the time they made it into their suite. Elizabeth had given all the senior staff twenty minutes to drop their things and make final checks before they had to turn around and head out again and Nadine had intended on doing just that.

As soon as the main door clicked shut, however, she found herself pressed back against a wall, giggling uncontrollably at the teasingly light way fingers trailed up her sides. “Liz!” She laughed hard, doing her best not to shriek like a little girl. “We have to get going! You’re going to make us late!”

Elizabeth only pulled back an inch. “No one will say anything if it’s me who’s late.” She pressed in again, starting a line of feather-light kisses along her neck, tugging the knot of her scarf loose for better access and making her flinch and restart giggling.

“I refuse to start this whole trip running behind.” She pushed her back but didn’t let go. “I promise… later… Okay?”

“Fine.” Despite her agreement, Elizabeth leaned in one last time. “A kiss for the road then.”

Sighing dramatically, Nadine acted as if it was a great inconvenience until fingers teased her sides again. “Fine! Fine. No more tickling me.” She caught her wrists.

“Okay, no tickling.” Once her hands were freed again, she cupped Nadine’s face and brought their lips together. They broke apart. “Only kissing.”

Nadine threaded her arms around her waist. “Agreed.” She pulled them together again.

=MS=

“I’m really sorry, Nadine. I really wanted to go out and do something that wasn’t work related I just…” Elizabeth aimlessly waved a hand toward the windows. “Now I screwed it all up.”

Determined to get her attention off the chaos of the day, Nadine pulled her close. “It’s okay.” She tipped her chin up so she was looking into her eyes. “This isn’t on you. Come here.” She backed them both up until she was crawling back on the bed enough to pull Elizabeth down with her. “Don’t worry about all that now. You had a good day with Alison, focus on that.”

Elizabeth’s face found the dip between her breasts. “I’d rather focus right now on this.” She made a small sound of frustration. “I know I said this dress is amazing on you, but I really prefer you wearing blouses so I can take them off easier.” Her words made them both laugh. She crawled up enough for their lips to meet. “I just want to forget.”

One hand trailed down to cup her ass and Nadine smiled up. “We’ll work on forgetting then.”

A noise from the main room made Elizabeth pull back. “Shit. I keep forgetting we’re not alone this time.”

“Yes, he spent all morning shooting me looks after our little show when we arrived.” An idea came to Nadine. “Give him the tickets. It’ll get him out of the room for a few hours.”

“Those were expensive seats.”

She smiled. “Worth a night on our own?”

Elizabeth leaned back in to restart the kissing. “Very worth it.”

The kiss deepened, both of them getting lost in the moment until a hand under her dress, stroking her center, made Nadine moan. “Liz, that’s…” After all the teasing she’d been enduring in the tiny moments they’d been able to catch so far, Nadine realized she was on a hair trigger, but the fingers didn’t stop. She gasped. “I’m so close… We need to stop.” She did her best to pant through her body’s rocketing urge to find release. “Liz…”

“Can you be quiet?”

She bit her lower lip and nodded just as Elizabeth’s other hand hiked the edge of her dress up and over her hip, freeing her legs to be able to move. She barely had time to fist the blankets before a thumb found her clit and she was doing her best to hold back anything louder than stuttered gasps as she came quickly.

Boneless, she slowly eased her eyes open and stared up at Elizabeth. After a beat, she pushed upright. “Give me those tickets. I plan on the next one not being quiet.”

Ticket in hand, Nadine padded barefoot into the main room, looking around before carrying on to the pair of rooms at the door end of the suite. She knocked on the frame to Blake’s room.

He glanced up with a frown.

Nadine held up the tickets. “Elizabeth and I were going to go and see a show tonight, but… Between the excitement of the day and… other things, we decided to stay in. They are for you to use.” She crossed the room and put them in his hand. “You should invite Stevie to go with you.”

He arched a brow at her. “So, is this to get me to ask her out, or to get me out of your hair so you two can carry on having sex?”

She flamed red.

“Never mind. I will invite her to go with me. Give me five minutes and I’ll be gone.”

=MS=

“I really should go back to my room to finish getting ready. It’s getting late.” Despite her mild protests, Nadine let Elizabeth pull her close again. She’d slept in Elizabeth’s room, only tiptoeing back through in the early pre-dawn hours long enough to grab fresh clothes. They’d showered together, enjoying the final moments of just the two of them before the day started. “If you start kissing me again, I’ll have to start over with the lipstick.”

“You could just go without.” She nuzzled close. “I think you’re beautiful when you’re all scrubbed clean.” Her fingers played with the buttons of Nadine’s blouse. “Clean and naked and where I can touch you.”

Fingers teased her skin, making her flinch away from the ticklish sensation. She secretly thought it was entirely unfair that Elizabeth wasn’t nearly as ticklish as she was. “Maybe later. I promise.”

“Okay.”

Despite her insistence, she was reluctant to pull away as well. She could feel Elizabeth following her to the doorway and at the last moment, turned back, pressing her into the frame and kissing her, tugging the belt of Elizabeth’s robe loose so she could slip one hand inside.

“I thought you didn’t want to have to redo your makeup.”

“Right. Get ready, we can sit and have breakfast together before we learn of today’s crisis.” Once Elizabeth nodded, Nadine made her way silently to her own room and finished getting ready, returning to the main room as Elizabeth stepped out.

By the small kitchen area, Elizabeth wrapped her arms around Nadine, peppering her neck with kisses. “God, I just can’t get enough of you lately.” She rested her chin on her shoulder as Nadine worked on two mugs of coffee and bagels. “I want you to come stay the weekend when we get back.”

“Any particular reason why?”

She felt Elizabeth shrug. “I’m feeling greedy. It just seems like everyday had been a fight lately and I want more of the good stuff.”

“Will Henry mind?” Vaguely, she heard Blake enter the suite and assumed he went straight to his room. “If he’s fine with it, I’ll come.”

“Of course he’ll be fine with it.”

At her nudging, Nadine turned her head so they could kiss.

“Oh my god!”

They pulled apart as if they’d been burned and turned as one to stare, not at Blake, but at Stevie standing in the doorway. Elizabeth took a step forward, putting herself between her daughter and Nadine. “Stevie! This is- I can explain!”

“No! No, I can’t do this! This is so much worse than when I only thought Dad was cheating on you! This is- With… With _her_?”

The tone felt like a slap to Nadine’s face as she stood frozen in place.

“Stephanie McCord, you listen to me. I’m _not_ cheating on your Dad. He knows. He has always known.”

“Always? What do you mean ‘always’?” Stevie backed up a step. “What is going on?”

“We didn’t want to confuse you kids, but he knows I’m- I’m…” Nadine heard her stutter out, she suspected she was afraid to say the words, to her daughter of all people. But then she caught movement in the shadows of the hall behind Stevie and she suspected Elizabeth did as well because she heard her draw a steadying breath. “I’m bisexual. And… Your Dad and I have an open marriage. He knows I’m dating Nadine.”

Stevie tossed her hands up. “I can’t hear this! I- I can’t do this!” She turned to storm away but stopped. Nadine wasn’t sure why until Blake stepped forward, forcing Stevie to step back.

“You need to hear your mom out.” His voice was even, soft. “Just because it makes you uncomfortable to hear doesn’t mean you get to disrespect her. Again.”

She turned and stared at him. “You knew?”

He nodded.

“You- you didn’t warn me?”

“Warn you about what? That your mother is capable of loving more than one person?” He scoffed. “It wasn’t my place to say anything.”

“But our relationship-”

“What relationship?” Elizabeth asked over their arguing, not getting a response.

“We barely have one and even if we did have more? My first obligation is to this job and to the people in this room.” He took another step toward her. “Turn around and hear her out.”

She caught Stevie’s small nod before she turned and faced them again. “Mom?”

“I’m sorry you found out this way, Baby.” Elizabeth took several steps toward her daughter. “Given what your Dad and I do… And Nadine’s job… We had to keep it quiet.”

Stevie’s eyes flickered to Nadine before going back to Elizabeth. “There really have ben others?”

Elizabeth nodded. “Since your dad and I married, yes. He’s always known about each one and knows them.”

“So when- so when do you… When does…”

“Stevie…” She shook her head. “I understand you’re trying to wrap your head around this, but it’s still a private relationship between Nadine and I. I won’t try and justify it or give you details that you don’t need to know. You just need to respect us, just like I expect you to respect your father and I’s relationship. You aren’t entitled to explanations or justifications.”

Eventually, Stevie nodded. “Right. Well… I have to get ready for work. I guess I’ll see you guys later.” Quietly, she let herself out and the suite descended for a minute into silence.

When Blake turned to retreat to his room, Elizabeth finally spoke. “How long, Blake?”

“Ma’am?”

She raised her chin. “How long have you been dating my daughter?”

“I- um, Ma’am? I’m um…” He carried on stuttering as Elizabeth walked his way. When she was right in front of him, he swallowed hard. “Officially dating?” He attempted a fearful smile. “There was one. We, um, we met for drinks after she got the internship and- and there might have been another one… Or two… And then last night. We, uh, I took her to the show with me.” His eyes cut to Nadine, which Elizabeth didn’t miss.

She turned to face Nadine. “You knew about them?”


	18. Chapter 18

“We survived Stevie finding out.” Elizabeth’s arms were around her. They were standing in her office with the doors closed. It had been several weeks since the trip to New York. “I was thinking maybe we should tell the other two. I really want you to be able to spend the weekend over and it’ll come out one way or the other.”

“She didn’t exactly take it well, what if they don’t either?”

Elizabeth sighed. “I don’t know. I’m- It feels like they are old enough now. I don’t want them to find out later and think relationships that are different have to be kept secret. I don’t want them to think I’m ashamed of what I do or who I’m with. Of you.” She studied Nadine. “What do you think?”

“I think… That the bigger our circle gets, the more comfortable I feel about it. And- and I’d love to spend a weekend with you and Henry.”

“Good.” She brushed a kiss to Nadine’s lips. “This weekend? All the kids will be home, as far as I know, Saturday night, but only Stevie will be there on Friday.”

“Could always come up with a reason for her to be away as well.” She smiled up at Elizabeth.

“Like what?” She gave her a confused look a moment and then seemed to catch up. “Oh. I really don’t want to think about my daughter sleeping with my assistant, Nadine.” She shook her head, laughing anyway. “Exactly how long have you known about them?”

She tipped her head. “I knew about his interest since our trip to Myanmar.”

“Wait, that was before I took him along to view colleges with Alison.” She turned thoughtful. “He did seem pretty happy she was coming. He’d even picked up food for her in anticipation.”

Nadine chuckled. “He’s been on a long campaign for you and Henry to _like_ him.”

“But a road trip? And he goes in my house when we’re not there…”

“But it’s still Blake. He’s a mostly trustworthy guy.”

“What do you mean ‘mostly’?”

“He is still a man and you still have a beautiful daughter.”

=MS=

Curled on her side, Nadine relished in the feel of being wrapped in Elizabeth’s arms. She’d had just enough wine to be feeling the slight buzz of it in her veins, helping to keep her warm. The room was only lit by the glow of the bathroom light where Henry was finishing getting ready for bed.

Elizabeth’s hand slipped slowly down her stomach until it teased at the waistband of her pants and then ducked underneath. Nadine lifted her knee to give her better access with a hum of approval.

The fingers teased through cotton and then pushed it aside, stroking along her folds until Nadine felt her hips cant forward almost on their own. “Does that feel good?”

“Yes.”

“Do you want more?”

She raised her arm, doing her best to hold Elizabeth’s head close. “So much more.” A finger pressed in and she gasped just as the bed dipped and the blankets shifted, the finger began to move. “You’re teasing me.”

She could feel Elizabeth chuckle against her back and it reminded her of the first time they’d been in this bed together. Before she could say more, a second finger pressed in with the first. “Better?”

“Don’t stop.”

The fingers obliged, not stopping stroking in and out and, eventually, a thumb joined in against her clit. Nadine closed her eyes, letting the waves eb and flow as they grew. She was peripherally aware when Elizabeth shifted positions behind her, moaning softly in her ear. When she moaned Henry’s name, Nadine realized he must be touching her as well. “What are you thinking about?”

“Us.”

A chuckle rumbled in her chest. “Is it okay Henry’s here then?”

Her breath shuddered. “Is he touching you?”

A kiss was sucked into the curve of her neck. “Should he?”

“I-” The sudden hesitation surprised her. There was a whisper of sheets moving and then the bed shifted as Henry moved.

“Just you and I.” Her hand sped up. “Just us, Nadine. Come for me.”

She couldn’t help but do as Elizabeth asked, falling apart in her arms. When she opened her eyes, sated and boneless, Elizabeth was hovering over her wearing a smile. “I love you.” She pulled her down for a kiss. “I love you and I want- I want to see what he does to you.”

“You want to watch?”

She gave a bashful nod.

“I think that can be arranged.”

Rolling over and curling on her side, Nadine tucked her hands under the pillow and watched Elizabeth strip naked before straddling her husband. It was so easy to see how much they loved one another, she found herself mesmerized by every move, every moan, every touch. By the time they were finished, she was near squirming with how turned on she was again. Still naked, Elizabeth pulled her close, rearranging them both until they were all comfortably curled together. As they all dozed off, she couldn’t make herself say the words to ask for more.

An hour passed and Nadine shifted again, trying anything to will her body to calm enough that she could sleep as well. Each time she shut her eyes, though, all she could see was Elizabeth sliding down Henry’s cock, the look of ecstasy on her face. Doing her best not to disturb either of them as they slept, Nadine tried to take matters int her own hands, just enough to be able to finally sleep.

“What’s wrong?” Elizabeth’s voice whispered just before her hand captured Nadine’s arm, tracking down to her core. “You are drenched. Let me help you.”

“You- you can’t…” She bit her lip in the dark. “This is because of you.”

“Me?” Her thumb circled her clit, pressing firmly.

“You and Henry. I just… It didn’t bother me until I watched and now I just need…”

“Need what, Hon?” She pressed a kiss to her shirted shoulder. “Talk to me.”

“I just need properly fucked.” She was thankful the room was dark. “I’m too turned on, too keyed up, to sleep.”

“I could wake Henry.” She offered it as if it were nothing.

“No, I- I couldn’t. It wouldn’t be right.”

“Right?”

“Appropriate. I- We never discussed me having a relationship with Henry.”

“I know, but you’re suffering like this. I want to help you.”

“Maybe you could do it. If I recall correctly you have something under your sink that might help us out.”

“Okay. Get undressed.”

She was naked, spread out on her half of the bed by the time Elizabeth returned. “I want to feel it.”

=MS=

Curled with her knees to her chest, Nadine sat in a kitchen chair skimming the paper, a mug of coffee in her hand. Bringing breakfast and her own coffee over, Elizabeth placed her things down before toying a moment with Nadine’s hair, pressing a kiss on her head and wrapping her in a hug. “Anything to worry about in there?”

“I think we get word before the media.” She offered her a soft smile. “No surprises here.”

“Good to hear.” She took a seat and looked over her breakfast. “Aren’t you going to eat something?”

“Just coffee for now.” She glanced at the clock. “What time is everyone here?”

“Ali will probably be here around noon, Jason should be here in the next hour, and Stevie-” She sighed. “I have no idea when we’ll see her.” Just as she finished answering, the front door opened and closed.

“Ma?” Stevie’s voice called out.

“Or she’s here already. We’re in here!”

A moment later, Stevie walked in with Blake trailing behind her carrying a large bakery box. “We brought breakfast with us.” It was impossible to miss the smile she turned and gave him as she took the box and set it on the counter before crossing to the stairs, tugging him along.

At the bottom, Blake nervously glanced Elizabeth’s way, hesitating until she rolled her eyes and waved him on. Once they were alone again, Elizabeth turned to Nadine. “That’s going to take some getting used to.” She laughed.

Nadine smirked. “I’m surprised you didn’t remind them to keep the door open.”

“Oh, I should have…” She stared up, distracted a moment. “Well, Stevie only has a twin bed anyway.”

“Did that ever stop you? Because it never stopped me.” She sipped her coffee. “They’re adults, nothing you can really do about it.”

“I know.” She tugged the unread part of the paper over and opened it up. Side by side, they worked through the entire paper, pushing the finished sections over when Henry appeared, pressing a kiss to Elizabeth’s lips before taking a seat at the end.

When Alison and then Jason arrived sometimes later, Stevie and Blake came back down the stairs and tucked together in the TV room. Nadine watched from her spot still at the table as Henry and Elizabeth tried to start a conversation in the dining room, just out of ear shot, with the younger two.

“Is she telling them?” Stevie’s voice was soft.

“I think so.” Nadine turned her way, finding both of them watching her. “Your mother wanted to be honest.”

“I- I know I should have said this a few weeks ago, but… I’m really sorry, Nadine, if what I said hurt you in New York.” She glanced Blake’s way. “I don’t have a problem with someone being bi or gay or anything, I just… Didn’t expect my mom to tell me she was. I didn’t expect to walk in on her kissing someone else, let alone it be you.”

“Thank you for that.”

Stevie offered her a smile then. “And thank you as well, I guess. I heard you were the one who kept nudging Blake to take the leap and ask me out.”

The dining room suddenly erupted in loud voices a moment before dying out again. A moment later, Alison strolled through the kitchen, grabbing an apple and standing between the table and couch. “Stevie, did you already know what Mom and Dad just told Jase and I?”

“Yeah, I know.”

She turned toward the table, not quite looking Nadine in the face. “I guess this explains why you took care of her when she was sick and stuff. I should’ve have seen it; it was so obvious.”

“Ali.” There was warning in Elizabeth’s voice.

“Mom, come on, I swear, it’s no big deal. We aren’t in the fifties anymore; relationships aren’t some big shocking thing anymore. It’s like using pot- people used to get all upset about it, but now it’s no big deal.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Ali shrugged. “That pot is no big deal?”

“Do you use drugs?”

She rolled her eyes and groaned. “Mo-om! It’s not ‘drugs’ it’s pot. Not a thing. Cigarettes are more dangerous.” She flounced toward the stairs.

“How did I not know you smoked weed?”

“Ew! Nobody _smokes_ it anymore, Mom!” Ali vanished up the stairs.

Elizabeth turned to Nadine looking for support. Nadine shrugged. “She has a point. It’s no big deal and, honestly, it has more benefits if used correctly than downsides.”

“Wha- what’s that supposed to mean?” Now her attention was on Nadine fully.

“Helps ease stress and anxiety. Some days are so bad there’s nothing better than that feeling of relaxing finally. And…” She tipped her head side to side. “No one has smoked it in a long time.”

“How did I never know this about you?”

She didn’t miss the two wide-eyed faces in her peripheral vision. “Usually when we’re together after a stressful day, we’re having sex. No need for anything else.”

Suddenly, Blake pushed to his feet, pulling Stevie with him. “That’s it, I’m out. Let’s go for a walk. I- I don’t need to hear this.”

From the dining room, Jason made his continued presence known. “Can we just not openly discuss your sex lives, please? I’ve told you before, it just makes it more weird. There is entirely too much PDA that goes on in this house!”

The front door slammed and then another upstairs after Jason’s footsteps clomped away. There was a moment of silence and then Elizabeth began laughing. Nadine grinned with her. Once she calmed, she tugged Nadine out of her chair and pulled her close. “I guess that didn’t go so bad, right?”

“No, I think it went okay.” She lifted her chin and raised up to press a kiss to her lips.

“Now. What’s this about not smoking weed?”

=MS=

“Ma. I think we’re going to need a bigger dining table.” Stevie was in the kitchen helping Henry and Nadine cook. She’d turned when Elizabeth had cut through the room.

Elizabeth laughed. “You have no idea how happy it makes my heart to think about that. And to hear you say it. One day all three of you will have partners, maybe kids… I hope kids. You’ll give me grandbabies, right?” She wrapped an arm around her daughter.

“Mom!” Stevie pinked, laughing as well. “Really?”

“A bit ‘cart before the horse’ there, don’t you think, Ma’am?” Blake reappeared from wherever he’d been, making Henry laugh.

“Okay, ground rule. If you’re here as my daughter’s boyfriend, you have to drop the formal titles.” She reached across the counter and stole a piece of carrot from the bowl. “It’s just weird hearing myself calling you that.”

Placing down the knife she’d been using, Nadine turned so she was facing Elizabeth, tucked between her and the counter. “Leave them be. Instead of eating everything before we can cook it, why don’t you go set the table?” Her words shifted the attention in the room, causing all three kids to start laughing and teasing their mother for the way Nadine ordered her around, albeit gently. When they settled down, she casually looped her arms around Elizabeth’s neck. “Oh, she’s used to me telling her what to do.” She smirked and then pulled her close, kissing her soundly and setting them all off again. When she pulled away, a soft smile was on both their faces. “Go.”

Turning back to what she’d been doing, nerves over what she’d done belatedly hit her and she only barely glanced in the direction of the others. Jason and Alison left again, heading for opposite end of the house to do whatever it was they did, leaving Stevie and Henry in the kitchen with her.

As he headed for the table to sit and wait, Blake passed her and whispered, seeming to remember a conversation several months before. “Definitely happy.”

She met his gaze. “Yes.”

=MS=

Nadine had found herself quiet through most of dinner, simply observing the family as they relaxed and ate. It had reminded her a bit of she and Ruth growing up, the teasing and talking over one another. Almost as if summoned by mere thought, as the meal was being cleared away, her phone had rung.

Slipping upstairs for some quiet, she’d answered it. “Good evening, Ruth.”

There was a pause. “Wow, you sound… peaceful.” Ruthie laughed. “I was just calling to check on you, but I guess I needn’t have worried. How are you?”

“I’m good.” Absently, she looked around the room before sitting in the lounger by the window with her feet up. “I’m at Elizabeth’s at the moment.”

“And you took my call?” Ruth laughed. “I could’ve waited.”

“No, it’s- it’s okay. We were just finishing up dinner and I’ve- I’ve been here since yesterday evening. She, um- the kids know now.” She curled her shoulders in, suddenly feeling giddy over what had transpired. “It makes it feel more real, having her family all know.”

“So, if you’ve been there since yesterday and it sounds like you’re not about to leave now… Where did you sleep?” There was teasing in her voice. “Be honest, Nay.”

“With her. Them. Ruthie…”

When Nadine didn’t continue, she prodded. “What, Nadine?”

“I think I really want this. Something came up last night and I- I keep coming back to it. The last few months, things have started to feel so… normal.”

“You love her.”

“I do. But, it’s more than that, Ruthie. They’re a family and- they’re welcoming me into it. I want that. I want to laugh so hard my sides ache and just… be a part of all of it. They’re loud and, even when they’re fighting you can just feel how much they all love one another.” Seeking some physical comfort, she tugged the blanket off the back of the chair and pulled it over herself. “Is it totally crazy? Wanting this, I mean.”

When Ruth answered, her voice was gentle. “No, Nay, it’s not. It’s not crazy to want to have family and be loved. You’ve always put your job ahead of everything else and… you’ve given up so much.” Nadine heard her sigh. “It’s okay, you know, to decide to choose your life over the job and… I bet Elizabeth would understand that.”

“I- I don’t understand.”

“What I’m hearing is that you want this more than maybe you’ve wanted anything before?”

“Perhaps.” Concern over what her sister might be about to say made her anxious, but she listened anyway.

“But to have it, you would really need to step down from your job. Right? I’m guessing that’s what’s going through your head right now.”

Some days it bothered her that Ruth could to that. “I love my job, Ruthie. It’s all I’ve have for a really long time and I- I’m good at it.”

“But you love Elizabeth. Maybe more than your job?”

“Maybe.”

“I’m not suggesting boxing up and quitting tomorrow, but maybe it’s time to start thinking about if retirement should be on the horizon. You’ve sacrificed a lot.”

“There’s still so much to be done, though.”

“And you’ve told me before how capable your coworkers are. And I’m guessing if they weren’t competent, by now either you or Elizabeth would’ve replaced them. Look, I’ll talk to you later, you should get back to your evening, but think about it, Nadine. It’s time to put you being happy first.”

“I’ll think about it.” The call ended and she dropped the phone onto the seat, adjusting so the blanket was better around her before settling back and letting her eyes slip shut.

She let her mind wander, wondering to herself if she could walk away from her job for a relationship. Would Elizabeth and Henry even be okay with such a move? Even then, she’d still be living partly in secret, it didn’t change that Elizabeth was still one of the top government officials in the country. She played over scenarios of how that might look, not aware as she drifted off to sleep.

A hand on her roused her. When her eyes fluttered open, she found Elizabeth sitting at her side.

“I’d wondered where you’d gone.”

“How long was I asleep?”

“Not long. No more than a half hour. What made you come hide out?”

“Oh, I wasn’t hiding. Ruth called. I came up here for privacy. I hope that was okay.”

“Of course. How is your sister?”

“Good. She was checking in is all. I didn’t mean to doze off.” She decided to dive right in, find out what her future might look like before she got in any deeper. “Elizabeth… Do you see us, you and I and Henry, having a future together? I just- I need to know what my long-term plans should be.”

“Do you want to see us having a future together?”

She drew a breath. “I do. I just… I’m not sure I can see it without me giving up my job. I just can’t see that future so long as I’m dating my boss and… contemplating sleeping with my boss’s husband.”

“Well… I can’t imagine working without you. But. I can’t imagine living without you here either. I can’t tell you to quit your job, Nadine.”

“I know.” She took one of her hands. “I guess, maybe, I need to hear you say you won’t be hurt if I do it anyway.”

The room was quiet for a long time as they stared at one another. Finally, Elizabeth answered. “No, I won’t be hurt.”


	19. Chapter 19

“I’ve talked to Henry.” The start of a conversation as they laid tucked, face to face, tangled in the sheets, made Nadine’s eyes open to look at Elizabeth. “He’s never had a relationship with anyone else, but I pointed out that I’ve never had before what you and I have either.” She caught Nadine’s hand in hers, bringing them closer together. “He’s open to the idea of discussing the next phase of our relationship. He said- He said he didn’t want to come between you and I.”

That surprised Nadine. “I was worried about coming between the two of you. Your marriage always comes first.”

“I know. But that’s part of why I love him.” She brushed a kiss to her lips. “He loves so much when you’re over for dinner, did you know that? He mentioned last night about how you two have found a rhythm with cooking and he just really likes what’s been building.”

She smiled. “Is that the real appeal for him? I can cook?” When Elizabeth looked shocked at her teasing, she couldn’t help laughing. “Speaking of, where is he tonight? I’d expected him to be home by now.”

“Some work related thing. Does that mean since he’s not here, you won’t leave me to sleep all alone?”

“I have to get home, Elizabeth. I’m sorry.” It had been a wonderful evening, just the two of them, but she really did have things to take care of before morning. “We’ll work out a time for the three of us to talk though.” She started to crawl out from under the sheet, but Elizabeth held tight to her hand, making her look back. “Liz…”

“I want this, Nadine, however we end up deciding it works. I’m all in.”

“I know. I just…” She sighed, turning to sit so she was looking down at her. They were both still naked. “I’m not sure I can make that decision while I’m still working for you. I realized, after talking to my sister several times, that I want this, us, more than I’ve ever wanted anything else. Perhaps even more than I want to carry on as Chief of Staff. I just… I don’t want my legacy to get tainted by digging in even deeper and I don’t want what we have to be limited by the job.”

“I don’t- What are you saying?”

“I’m saying I want to have that talk with Henry, but I want us to be all on the same page. If we continue… Whether or not we decide that Henry and I might try to be something more, I think I’m going to consider the next phase of my career.”

“But, you’ve worked so hard to get here.”

“I know. But our job, it’s gotten to where it’s all fighting all the time and I just- I just don’t want to spend the next however many years in battle after battle.”

“I get that.”

“I know I was reluctant at first starting something with you. I was, rightfully I feel, concerned that it would be more of like I’d had before and I just…” She sighed. “Now I wish I’d not worried so much.” Leaning down, she pressed a kiss to Elizabeth. “I feel for you, Elizabeth McCord, something I have never felt for anyone else before. I love you.”

=MS=

In the back seat of the SUV, Blake sighed dramatically.

Nadine rolled her eyes. “What is up with you this morning?”

“The whole idea of riding along was supposed to be so we could get started earlier.”

“Well… Henry got in late last night. After ten at least.”

The back seat was quiet a moment. “You know that for sure?” When she turned, he had one brow arched.

Nadine shrugged. “He wasn’t home yet when I left.”

“When you…”

“Yes.”

“Oh.” She knew he wouldn’t leave it at that. “Perhaps you could go in, then, and hurry her up?”

She smirked. “You really think me going in will speed things along?”

“I would hope you wouldn’t…” She twisted around and waited, he trailed off and then restarted. “Okay. This is weird now.”

“Only now?” It looked like he was going to say more, so she changed the subject. “How are things going with you and Stevie? I notice she wasn’t home last night either.”

He flushed red, making her laugh. “That’s not entirely the same thing, you know.”

“Okay… I’ll ask again once Elizabeth is in the car.” She aimed for casual, knowing the mere suggestion of discussing he and Stevie with Elizabeth around would stop him in his tracks.

“I’m good. No more complaining.”

“Glad to hear it.” She couldn’t help grinning wider. “Any more angry texts from Russell Jackson about getting to the White House immediately?”

“Um, no. None yet.” As he finished answering, the door of the SUV opened and Elizabeth climbed in.

“Good morning.” She smiled at both of them.

Nadine didn’t bother trying to hide taking in Elizabeth’s hastily reapplied makeup and slightly mussed hair. “Good morning… I see Henry made it in after all?” When Elizabeth blushed, she laughed.

=MS=

When Henry gently caught her arm while they were working together on dinner the following weekend, Nadine paused what she was doing and looked up at him.

“Elizabeth mentioned that you and I should talk.” His eyes were studying her closely. “She asked me if I’d be interested in having a, uh, relationship with you… Is that something you want?”

“I- I’m not certain. It’s not something I _don’t_ want, I just… Seeing you and Elizabeth together is just beautiful to me and I’m so thankful I get to be here and be a part of all this.” She looked around the room. “She’s been so patient with me every time I needed to pull back and you, well, you’re just patient with us both. I’m- I’m in love with her.”

Henry gave her a small nod. “I know.”

His words brought a small smile to her face. “I think I could fall in love with you as well.” She glanced at him only a moment before looking toward the fridge. “It’s easy to do. I just…Sometimes there are things I just can’t get from…” She felt her skin heat up in embarrassment and didn’t finish.

She felt as his fingers slid up to her shoulder. “I’ve never been with someone else.”

“I know.”

“But then… No one has asked either.” Gently, he pulled her closer until he was able to wrap his arms around her and for a moment, she allowed herself to savor his embrace. “It’s not something I don’t want either.” When he stepped back, he carried on. “We could just leave things open ended. See how the night goes.”

“There is one thing, Henry.”

“What’s that?”

“I mentioned it to Elizabeth. I’m not sure I could allow myself to take that step while I’m still working under her. We’re getting so close, you and I. We do this-” She gestured to the process of making dinner. “We share a bed when I stay over and I’m- I’m right there in Elizabeth’s arms or barely an arm’s length away when you two have your more intimate moments. There is just so much love and I want to be selfish and say I want as much of it as either of you are willing to give. But… I’m at a point where I feel I have to choose, being all in on this relationship and resigning from my position or taking a step back from this and keeping it.”

Henry nodded. “What do you want?”

“To retire.” It slipped out quickly and she paused, slowly turning back to look at him again. “I’ve put in more years as chief of Staff than almost any other person in recent history. And before that, I was Chief of Staff for Vincent as a Senator after working for him in policy. I’m…tired. I would love, more than anything, to say I would stay with Elizabeth until the end of Dalton’s term, but…” Her eyes drifted away. “I didn’t realize how I felt about the job, about the fighting, until suddenly I found myself with something to look forward to again.”

“You’ve really thought about this.”

It was her turn to give a small nod. “When I talk to my sister.”

“Have you told Elizabeth any of this?”

“No. I want to know for certain what I’m going to do before I tell her. She’ll have questions I won’t be able to answer.”

“What will you do? If you retire?”

She drew a breath and let it out. “I’m not sure. Very little, at least at first. Teach probably…eventually. I don’t really know.” Nadine watched as Henry seemed to process everything she’d said. Eventually, he gently pulled her close again and she tipped her chin up.

“Could I ask one thing of you, before I make up my mind?” He watched as she nodded and then carried on. “Can I- Can I kiss you? I’ve never- I’ve never let myself consider anyone else except Elizabeth and now I- I’m not sure where to even start.” He drew a breath. “I’ve never denied to her how beautiful you are.”

Nadine debated doing so. Debated having the feel of Henry’s lips on hers. “Kiss me.” When those lips pressed against hers, she felt herself melt into him. She held on tight as he held her close. When they broke apart, she suddenly realized more hands were on her as well. Turning, she was taken by surprise at how close Elizabeth was.

Elizabeth didn’t comment at all, just pulled her and then Henry into sweltering kisses.


	20. Chapter 20

Nadine lost track of time staring blankly at her hands spread out on her desk blotter. Slowly, she blinked, wondering what it was that had made her mind wander to begin with.

She couldn’t remember the last time she actually gave any notice to her hands. Not specifically. She didn’t particularly like the beige polish she’d chosen for some reason the last time she’d gone and hand them done, but she’d have to live with it until it was time to go again. She didn’t wear fancy rings like Elizabeth did, it’d never been her style, and so now, with nothing else to focus on, all she saw were her hands.

Her hands looked so much older than the rest of her. Older than she felt anyway. Her knuckles were taking on the knobbly look of old age and weren’t always willing to straighten fully. Even now, there was the slightest hint of light under her fingers as they kept a slight curl.

Arthritis wasn’t going to let her ignore it forever.

Finally, Nadine dragged her eyes from the desk up and through the windows. Originally, she’d had her desk facing the hall where she could keep an eye on the comings and goings of the floor beyond. Eventually, after Elizabeth had taken the job, several things had happened to make her rethink it. It’d taken time to discover that, once he was confident, Blake managed the floor and not just his desk, a task Jill had never once even tried to do, making her supervision unnecessary. And then there’d been the evening Elizabeth had quietly pointed out that moving the desk would give her more privacy.

Through the windows today, however, she could see Matt and Daisy quietly preparing to be gone for an undetermined amount of time and Jay at the end scrambling in the face of an increased workload.

She’d been thrilled for Daisy at the shower, had been happy for her and willing to help with advice or lend an ear Daisy’s entire pregnancy, but there was something bittersweet about it that had kept her from really enjoying the party.

After today, it would be just herself and Jay alongside Elizabeth… for how long, no one knew. And all because a senator was upset Dalton had run as an independent at Elizabeth’s encouragement.

She really was tired of the fighting.

Nadine sighed. Blake caught her attention as he let himself into Jay’s office, hands full of files to hand off. They were arranging everything themselves. She wasn’t needed.

And then it hit her… They didn’t need her to hold their hands. They didn’t need her to guide them anymore. Or to take part of the weight. She could have the freedom to be tired.

To be _retired_.

They would be okay.

Nadine looked at her hands again, remembering the likely millions of signatures that had made her fingers look like they did now. Remembering the cramps after long nights, the way she tapped out phone numbers on her phone. Remembering hours of nervous twisting as she waited for a plan to play out or fall apart.

Her hands told a truth she hadn’t wanted to admit. She was old. Tired. Done. She didn’t have it in her for another fight within DC, another shutdown, another failed plan. She didn’t have it in her for more oppo or dirty games.

=MS=

She played with her reading glasses in her lap, willing this to be easier than it was going to be. People were waiting, the night was going to be hard enough. “I- I need to tell you something.” She couldn’t bring herself to look Elizabeth in the eyes. Not yet. “I would like to take a leave of absence to… I’ll use up my vacation time.”

The room stayed quiet long enough that she finally looked up at Elizabeth, who had tears already shimmering in her eyes. “And then…you’ll retire?”

Nadine gave her a small nod. “I was sitting in my office thinking… I’ve done what I needed to do here. I’m proud of what we’ve accomplished. I just…”

“Want to be free?”

“Yes.”

She heard Elizabeth draw a breath and let it slowly out. “Well. I’m not sure what to do next then. I was depending on having you as a stable force through this.”

Nadine remembered watching Jay’s office through the glass. “Give it to Blake. He can handle it.” She reached out and took her hand. “And I’ll still be a stable force for you, just… from the sidelines.”

“Good to hear it.” She stood, pulling Nadine close. “A hug for now. Then you can help me give Matt’s speech and after we’ll tell the others.”

“Sounds good.”

=MS=

In the days that followed, Nadine discovered that Blake had a habit going back to Elizabeth’s first day as Secretary of informing Henry each day of Elizabeth’s estimated home times. She also learned the shorthand they used between them. All this knowledge came when she discovered Blake had added her phone number to the text group.

The codes, ‘EHT’ for estimated home time, ‘LW-EI’ and “LW-P’ for lunch window, eat in and park, respectively were easy enough to understand. There were also other codes they both used that she learned later. ‘DNE’ for did not eat whatever meal was at that time, which Nadine would’ve loved to know about years ago, and then ‘HAD’ for a high anxiety day.

The advantage, Nadine supposed, was it meant it was easier now to schedule when she would turn up in Georgetown and find Elizabeth home or nearly so. It meant they got the park dates when Henry was busy, though she never suggested eating in the office. Nadine needed the clean break.

The message led her to be standing in Elizabeth’s kitchen one evening nearly a week after her resignation dressed in jeans and a black shirt and flats when Elizabeth herself came through the door.

“My god, you’re a sight for sore eyes.” Elizabeth abandoned her things, walking straight to her. “Is this how you’ll look all the time now? Because I could just say screw dinner and take you upstairs.”

Nadine couldn’t help smirking at her. “You could screw me instead of dinner, you know.” She wasn’t surprised when Elizabeth’s lips crashed into hers. She also wasn’t surprised when they did just as she’d suggested, Elizabeth leading her up the back stairs at to the bed, dinner forgotten.

She woke the next morning sated and uneager to get up just yet. Content to watching as Elizabeth got ready for her day from buried in the bed.


	21. Chapter 21

Leaving her mug of tea on the table, Nadine rounded the couch as Elizabeth talked, tapping her shoulder to make her scoot forward before kicking off her shoes and kneeling on the cushion behind her. Nadine began massaging her shoulders, ending what Elizabeth was saying. “You will enjoy France, though.” She finally was able to speak. “Two days. You and Henry, you’ll love it. And you deserve it.”

Elizabeth moaned under her hands. “Not just me and Henry. Oh, right there.”

She chuckled. “They’ll make themselves scarce. How are you this knotted up?”

From the kitchen, Henry laughed. “She can get like that is a single meeting.”

“Ah. Well.” Nadine stopped what she was doing. “Lay down properly.”

“What? Why?”

“You need this done correctly then.” When Elizabeth turned and looked at her over her shoulder, Nadine sighed. “I know what I’m doing.” She waited, eventually Elizabeth complied, and she began again, this time from a different angle. “Are you visiting churches while you’re there, Henry?”

Elizabeth grumbled but they both ignored her as Henry came into view. “I have a list, yes. I have to do them while she’s busy though.”

“France has some beautiful ones. It’s been… over thirty years since I really had a good walk around Paris, but it’s a beautiful city. And I remember the churches.”

Henry started rambling on about the ones he planned to see as Nadine carried on the massage. When she straightened finally, he moved to the back of the couch. “We’ll have to sneak you on a trip one of these days somehow.”

“I can help the two of you enjoy a weekend away though. I’ll be around if the kids need anything.”

He put out his hand, tugging her forward until she had to balance her weight on her knee on the cushions to lean any further. He leaned forward himself and kissed her quickly. “We’ll bring you back something for doing that.”

“It’s only two days, Henry, it’s really not a big deal.”

“But it stops you having your freedom.” She could see the sincerity in his eyes.

“Do you really believe me spending two days checking on the kids would make me unhappy?”

=MS=

“Ah ah!” Nadine hadn’t missed the way Blake had scooped up a handful of blueberries out of the container sitting on the counter. It was early yet, she’d woke specifically to start breakfast, not at all surprised when Blake had turned up a short time later. “Only take bissel. That’s all there is.”

She glanced his way to make sure he put most of the berries back, smirking when he snorted but complied. “Are you baleboste now then?”

That made her laugh. “And if I said I was? Does it mean I could call you sheifale?”

Blake shrugged, grinning at the teasing nickname. “Just so I know.”

“Are you and Stevie doing something today then? Or are you here to nosh and run?”

“No, we’re going out for the day.”

“In that case, here.” She passed a bowl over. “You can help by kvetching these into the batter when I start the waffles.” Nadine turned back to where she was prepping scrambled eggs. “Elizabeth was kvelling over your success at taking over for me last night. It sounds like you’re doing okay with everything.”

“It doesn’t feel like it. I am ready for her to hire on someone permanent. Any day now.”

Nadine laughed. “I’ll point out to you that she never got around to replacing any of Vincent’s staff.”

He froze a moment before hanging his head. “Oy vey iz mir.”

She laughed harder. “You’ll be okay.” She tried to stretch across the counter for a spatula but couldn’t quite reach. “Zei azoy gut and pass me that spatula?” When he passed it over, she nodded. “Ah groisen dank.”

“Ni’t do kein farvos.”

Neither of them had noticed the stairs creaking until someone spoke from the bottom. “I don’t think I recognize any of that.” They both looked up at Elizabeth. “Good morning.”

Blake and Nadine answered in near unison, laughing and looking at one another after they had. “Boker Tov!”

Nadine shook her head. “Yiddish. I can’t believe I never considered that Blake here knew it, or we could’ve been using it all along. I’m a bit rusty, but it’s coming back to me.”

“Rusty?” There was surprise in Blake’s voice. “That was ‘rusty’? I barely paid attention when I was a kid, I figured it was pointless to learn it.”

“It is becoming a dying language.”

“And yet, I now need to know it to talk with my mishpocheh.”

Henry appeared on the stairs and Elizabeth turned to reach for him, wearing a grin. “We’re having a cultural exchange for breakfast this morning. You’ll love it.”

His eyes danced between his wife and the other two. “What’s going on?”

Nadine left the breakfast prep and rounded the island to let the couple pull her close. “Elizabeth walked in on Blake and I speaking Yiddish.”

Henry seemed to light up. “You’re fluent? I didn’t know that. It’s such a fascinating language and it’s slowly falling out of use.”

“I wouldn’t go so far as fluent, school was many, many years ago and I rarely have used it in my adult life.” She pulled away and returned to what she’d been making.

Nadine didn’t miss the way Elizabeth grinned up at Henry. “You can’t start talking religion first thing this morning, the kids will be grumpy all day.” She crossed to Nadine’s side. “What is for breakfast?”

=MS=

After breakfast and much laughter, the kids had all vanished to their weekend plans, leaving the three adults sitting around the table. Elizabeth wasted no time bringing up something she’d noticed all morning. “I have to say, I didn’t expect the kids to be so accepting of you so quickly. I mean, I’m glad they have, it’s just…they seem to really be trying.”

Nadine chuckled. “I think it’s more that the situation is still new. I can tell they’re doing their best to be on their best behavior. It won’t last, I know.” She finished her coffee and set the mug aside. “So, with the kids all gone, what are the plans for the day?”


	22. Chapter 22

Her fingers were threaded through Elizabeth’s hair, holding as tight as she dared to keep herself from writhing away from the tongue performing miracles to her clit. Nadine tipped her head back, gasping at the way Elizabeth worked her fingers along and then into her folds. Two in and curled, then only one when she got close, and then three, sudden and hard.

She wasn’t sure she could get any wetter, Liz had been toying with her body, playing her like an instrument, all evening. Twice she’d come already, the first because Liz had allowed it, had had some small measure of mercy on her, and the second that had surprised them both, she’d been panting heavily until a suggestion from Elizabeth had rocketed her over the edge.

Now Elizabeth was being more cautious with her arousal, clearly not wanting to tip her over the edge again just yet.

“Please.” Nadine’s heels tried to dig into the sheets for purchase so she could thrust up, but a hand on one thigh tightened, preventing her from finding what her body so desperately wanted.

With her hands, she felt as Liz began moving, working her way up her body until she was applying suction to her nipples and Nadine was forced to turn loose. Flat out on her back, she was essentially flat-chested, but Elizabeth didn’t seem to mind it. “You look like you need properly fucked.” There was no pause for her to answer as Liz sank back down, sucking hard on the small swell of soft flesh just to the side of her breastbone.

The words made her shudder. “Yes.” She so desperately wanted properly fucked and she knew Liz was more than capable of taking care of her.

“On of these days, I’m going to get up the nerve to get a strap-on and have my way with you.” The mental image of Liz’s suggestion made Nadine gasp in a breath. It was erotic, the idea of Elizabeth being the one to drive her to the heights she longed for. “What would you like today though, hm?” Her fingers were back to teasingly dancing along Nadine’s folds. “I could keep working you apart myself or… I could go get the vibrator again.” She smiled down at Nadine. “Or we could keep doing this until Henry gets back.”

It felt like her brain was about to short-circuit. All she could focus on were fingers keeping her just-right-there enough that she wasn’t able to fight the way her body shifted and moved with the ebbing waves. She didn’t want to wait, but there was something mouthwatering about the idea of having Henry return and join them. Fucking Elizabeth… maybe fucking her… They’d discussed it, but so far hadn’t moved past kissing and the occasional embrace. “Go get the vibrator, but… I also want to wait for Henry.” When Liz pulled away, she didn’t hesitate to drop her now-free hands, one to her breast and one to stroke, keeping herself worked up until Liz got back.

Nadine watched when she returned, reaching out and taking the toy from her hands. “You first.”

That surprised Liz. “What about you?”

“I’ve already come twice. I need to catch you up.” Despite her body’s desire to stay melted into the mattress, Nadine pushed up, leaning in until Elizabeth was the one laying on her back. She started by kissing her, roughly and without any regard for their need to breathe. It was her turn to be in charge, to control Liz’s pleasure and she wasn’t about to take that responsibility lightly.

When she pulled away from her lips, it was to start on her breasts as she moved lower, not pausing until after she’d sucked relentlessly on her clit. Nadine sat back on her heels and studied the vibrator. It was thicker than the one she owned, curved slightly and beautifully ribbed. It was also a shade of blue that almost perfectly matched Elizabeth’s eyes.

Using her left hand, Nadine spread Elizabeth’s folds open, studying how wet she was, ready for what she was about to do, before she pressed just the head of the vibrator in. “It still amazes me how wet you get just from playing with my body.” Slowly, she slid it to halfway, releasing her left hand and placing it instead just over Liz’s pubic bone, preventing her from moving her hips into what she was doing. “I could fuck you for days like this.” She felt her muscles shudder. Pressing in and then drawing it out again, Nadine began to fuck her languidly, changing up the depth and angles until Elizabeth was beginning to moan in desperation. “I love the way Henry takes you apart. The way he can’t keep his hands off you as his cock slides deep inside you.”

Elizabeth moaned again, fisting where the blankets had been shoved aside. “Are you going to just tease me?”

Nadine laughed. “And if that was my plan? If I wanted to make you wait until Henry came back and was ready to fuck you?” Her lips curled. “Maybe wait until after he fucked me first? Or maybe… maybe until after I sucked his cock?”

“Please. Please no. Please just fuck me.”

“As you wish.” With her thumb, Nadine flicked the vibrator on and began to do the job at hand. As Elizabeth moved, she had to change positions to hold her still, eventually settling on draping her own legs wide over Liz’s thighs so her hands were both still free. It was the position Henry found them in several minutes later.

“My god.” When Nadine took notice of Henry, he was stock still in the bedroom doorway. “You’re… sitting like that it almost looks like you’re fucking both of you with that thing.”

She looked back at Elizabeth, at how her own hips had slid forward on the bed as they’d moved together. It did look almost as if she was working them both over. “Maybe we’ll have to get a double headed vibrator for Christmas.”

Henry’s pants had already been starting to tent, but he seemed to get noticeably harder at that suggestion. “How- how far have you gotten?”

Nadine slowed down what she was doing to Elizabeth. “I’ve come twice, she’s desperately ready to come for the first time. Interested in helping?”

He shook his head. “You keep going. Let me get naked and I’ll come watch.”

It seemed to take him no time and then he was nestling in behind Nadine, his dick hard against her back as his arms wrapped around her waist, one landing on a breast while the other found her clit and then her folds. “May I?”

Nadine rested her head against his shoulder, accepting his embrace. “Just to tease. I want Elizabeth to be next… Look at her. Have you ever seen someone look so beautiful?”

A kiss pressed to her jaw. “You are beautiful as well. Especially when you’re about to fall apart.” His teeth grazed the curve of her ear. “Make her come so I can fuck her next.”

“Of course.” She smiled. “Elizabeth, look at us. Look at how Henry’s holding me so close. Is this what you wanted to see?” A finger pressed all the way inside without warning, making her gasp and shift her hips forward, bringing her incrementally closer to the end of the vibrator. “Henry.” She ground it out. He was toying with her now. She’d call it entirely unfair, the way both of them liked to play with her body, but before she could comment again, he repeated the action. He kept at it until they’d crept the final inches and she could feel the buzz of the vibrator hinting at touching her clit.

“That’s it.” Henry murmured in her ear. “Let’s see if we can’t get you both off like this. Fuck her harder, Nadine, don’t be afraid. She’ll come again for me too.”

The single finger was almost torture, especially as she watched Elizabeth being filled with so much more plus the added constant reminder of Henry, rock hard and digging into her back. She complied though, picking up the pace as Elizabeth’s babbling started again. “God, I’m close… Are you close?”

Elizabeth’s hand found her ankles. “I need more.”

The hand on her breast vanished. Nadine watched it take over so Henry was circling and pressing both their clits in tandem. They were both being played by him, both so close now. She panted to hold herself at bay. “I need to come, Liz. Are you ready?” She wrapped her now free left hand around Henry’s arm. “I’m right there.” She couldn’t hold back any longer, gasping and crying out between them, but Henry didn’t stop. Didn’t stop the finger buried in her, didn’t stop the roll of her clit. He carried on, leaving her twisting and riding out the endless waves of her third orgasm.

Around the vibrator, Elizabeth finally, loudly, came as well. The toy was drenched, Nadine’s hand was getting drenched.

Henry’s hands never stopped. “You are both so hot. I want to fuck you both so bad.” He rocked, pressing the hot line of his dick into her back again. “I want to fuck you together.” His hand finally pulled away, turning the vibrator off, but not pulling it free yet of his wife. “I have an idea.”

Nadine felt him pull away and turn, rearranging the pillows at the head of the bed before moving back to their side, finally easing the vibrator free.

“Elizabeth, come up here and lean back.” She watched him manipulate his wife until Elizabeth was comfortable as she reclined into the mountain of pillow, knees up and feet spread wide to give him full access. “Now Nadine. Come lay back on her. Legs like you were before, hanging over either side and Elizabeth, you will have to hold her arms in place I think.”

Once they were settled, it was like she was on display. Her ass was balanced just off the edge of Liz’s pubic bone, her folds open and waiting. When the vibrator that’d been pulled free of Elizabeth slid into her in one stroke and then turned on, she gasped, twisting against the sudden sensation, but she couldn’t move. She was well and truly trapped.

Then, Henry lined himself up, sinking deep into Elizabeth and by extension, thrusting the vibrator further in. With each stroke, it really was like he was fucking them both at once.

Nadine rolled her head, her forehead pressed into Elizabeth’s jaw. Against her ass, she could feel as Henry stroked in and out of his wife, his balance held by a hand to her shoulder. It was intimate, it was erotic. There was a fleeting moment that passed through her mind that if, just if, Henry pulled too far and slipped, between Elizabeth and herself, there were enough juices dripping and flowing that he could probably plow right into her ass without anyone planning it.

When Elizabeth’s hand moved, circling her clit, Nadine followed it with her attention. “Are you ready to come again?”

There was already a sheen of sweat across her skin, she was more than ready. “I’m ready." They hadn’t really let her come back down from the last one, so the next was going to come easier.

Henry slammed in, stuttering his hips as those fingers kept working her clit. It was the most mind-blowing moment Nadine could ever remember. She was coming again, harder than she’d done in a long while, with Elizabeth crying out beneath her and Henry, desperately trying to breathe as he came as well.

“God. That was amazing.” Elizabeth laughed between pants. “We should do that again.”

It was Henry’s turn to laugh from where he’d dropped beside them, limp on the mattress. “I agree, but I need a day or two. That was… I don’t know if I even have words for how that felt.” His hand trailed over first what he could reach of Nadine’s body and then Elizabeth’s arm and leg. “I love you so much, Babe.” He stretched, kissing her wife before carefully pulling the vibrator free, letting it drop to the sheets.

“I love you too. And you.” Elizabeth’s voice was husky from having come, screaming, twice in such short succession.

Nadine did her best to look over her shoulder at Elizabeth and then make her voice work at all. “I love you too.” She rolled to sit up, avoiding where the vibrator had landed. “I’m going to go start the shower.” She leaned forward, catching Elizabeth’s lips with her own before gathering the vibrator to wash it and stepping into the bathroom.

When Elizabeth joined her several minutes later, the room was just getting steamy. “You know, I was thinking…” When Nadine gave her a curious look, she bit her lower lip, making her look somewhat innocent even as she stood provocatively in the doorway. “I should buy you your own vibrator.”

That made her laugh. “What makes you think I don’t own one already?” She stepped into the shower stall.

There was a single shoulder shrug. “But I think you need one here. Maybe something black or burgundy. One that will look gorgeous against your skin.” She joined Nadine under the spray. “Something with clean lines, elegant like you are.”

“You’re too much.” The blush was warming her skin faster than the water. “I think you’re still in a post-sex haze.”

“Nope. I’m not. You’ve always had a timeless elegance to you. Classic. The standard by which the beauty of other women is measured.” Her hands started at Nadine’s hips and trailed up and around, simply touching her body, almost memorizing it. “We need a proper date night.” Nadine watched as her eyes lit up. “We should try that new restaurant that was getting all those reviews.”

“I’ve heard there’s like a six month wait to get a table.”

“I’m sure I could drop a name or two and get us to the top of the list.”


	23. Chapter 23

A handful of pages in one hand, Nadine absently worked on starting a fresh pot of coffee while she made a quick first read over one of Henry’s latest chapters. She and Elizabeth had made plans to go out for breakfast that morning, but a flight back from Brussels had been delayed, making Elizabeth not arrive home until well after three in the morning. Nadine hadn’t been aware until she’d turned up, opting to simply let her sleep. Instead, she’d begun reading over Henry’s manuscript. The stairs creaked as Henry thumped heavily down, still sounding tired and alerting her to his presence. “Morning.” Her voice was low, still a bit gravely from early morning lack of use.

Nadine didn’t doubt that he’d stayed up worrying until his wife had made it home. He passed behind her, resting his hands on her shoulders and pressing a quick kiss to the back of her head. “Morning, Babe.”

She twisted, arching one brow at him over the pages.

Henry paused, shaking his head. “Sorry.” He pressed another kiss into her hair. “I should think of something for you.” Nadine had expected him to move on, but instead, his hands dropped to her hips, tugging her back a tiny bit until she was against him. “Is this okay?”

Nadine hummed. “Yes.” When his arms snaked around her and his chin rested on her shoulder, she smiled. “I’m a good multitasker, but I think coffee and reading are about my limit at once, Henry.”

He chuckled softly. “The reading can wait. I haven’t seen you all week. You know, just because Elizabeth is away doesn’t mean you have to be a stranger.”

“It wouldn’t be right, Henry, and you know that. And anyway, I made plans this week. I was pretty busy.” She left the manuscript on the counter and finished starting the coffee. “I will be teaching at Georgetown for the fall semester. I spent much of my week on campus working out the finer details.”

“Congratulations.”

“Thank you. No kids this weekend?”

He paused at the sudden change of subject. “Oh. Ali is studying, so she’s staying camped out at the campus library and Stevie is… out. Jason is here for now, but I have no idea what his plans are.”

It was her turn to laugh softly. “The unpredictable schedules of teenagers.”

“I can’t believe we’re almost to an empty house. It seems like it went by in the blink of an eye.”

“You should be proud. You raised them well.”

The sound of socked footsteps made them both turn just as Jason entered the kitchen and stopped, staring at his father still holding Nadine close. “Is this seriously what I’m going to have to see all the time? I thought mom was just going through some sort of midlife crisis but now…you, Dad? Really? Can’t you go back to being normal and boring?”

Henry’s arms pulled away as he moved a step toward his son. Nadine let him block her vision of Jason, or perhaps Jason’s vision of her, as she shrunk back slightly.

“It wasn’t a midlife crisis, Jason, and I expect you to be more respectful than that. If you have more questions, your mom and I are more than willing to answer anything openly and honestly, but not like this. Not while your mom is asleep.”

“If mom’s asleep, why’s she here?”

“ _She_ has a name. And Nadine is here because she and your mom had plans this morning until the flight got delayed.” Henry took another step closer to his son.

“So, she could’ve left. This isn’t her family. I know Stevie thinks it’s all cool because mom’s not bugging out about her shacking up with her assistant, and Ali’s just glad the attention isn’t on her for once instead of complaining about being ignored, but I don’t want more reporters following me around when word gets out that mom or you are having an affair.”

“It’s not an affair, Jason.”

Jason tossed his hands in the air. “Do you think reporters will care?”

“Jason…” There was warning in his tone.

“I know you guys don’t care about what I think, but her coming here all the time is just bad. People will talk. Stevie and Alison don’t really live here anymore, but I think as a resident, I should get a say in what happens in the house I live in and I think she shouldn’t be here.” There was a pause. “I’m sorry, I forgot. I think _Nadine_ shouldn’t be here.” Jason turned on his heel and stormed out again.

The kitchen was suddenly quiet now that the shouting had stopped. Nadine drew a careful breath. “I- I should go.”

Henry turned around to face her. “Nadine…”

She shook her head. “No. This is- this is a family thing, you don’t need me around to handle it. I- I understand. I really do, Henry. I know how teenaged boys are.” She began moving away, only to be stopped when he gingerly caught her arm. “Henry… please let me go.” He voice was pitched low.

“…No.”

She looked up at him, pleading with her eyes. She’d known it was only a matter of time before any of the kids adversely reacted to her presence. She’d thought she’d prepared herself, after Stevie’s shocking discovery, for how that might feel, but hearing from Jason’s mouth that she wasn’t wanted here.

He didn’t turn loose, but her didn’t tug her closer either. Instead, he spoke, keeping his voice equally as soft. “Come here.”

“I shouldn’t.”

“What he said hurt you. I don’t want you to leave when you’ve been hurt like that… Please come here.”

She pressed her lips together and ducked her head.

“Nadine… Elizabeth and I both have talked at length about all of the things he brought up. It’ll be okay. I understand why some of it still scares you, but it’s not like that. You are not disposable to us.” She felt as one finger tightened the slightest bit against her arm, but still he did not try and force her to move closer. “Please?”

It was one of the things that made it so easy to love him. One of the things she knew made Elizabeth love him so much. No matter how desperately Henry wanted to fix something, he was also very aware that he couldn’t control those around him. If she turned and walked out the door, he would let her.

Stepping forward, Nadine curled into his side when he arranged her body to fit against him. With his arms around her, she felt safe. Protected. She sighed into him.

It was the position Elizabeth found them in a short time later. Groggily, she pulled a coffee mug out of the cabinet before turning to them both, kissing Henry and then Nadine sweetly. “Good morning, Babe.” She hesitated when her eyes landed on Nadine, instead option to cup her cheek.

“She needs a nickname.” Henry addressed his wife, just as soft as before. “I accidentally called her Babe this morning.”

Elizabeth glanced his way before leaning closer, brushing her nose teasingly against Nadine’s as she smiled softly. “Hm. Something sweet. Something that suits you perfectly…” She rested their foreheads together. “How about Darling?” Nadine didn’t answer and Elizabeth twisted so they were cheek to cheek, bother peering up at Henry.

“Darling.” He tested it out before looking down at Nadine. “What do you think?”

Despite the way she’d felt over what Jason had said, this moment, tucked between them both as they discussed a nickname just for them to use for her, it made all that worry melt away. “I would consider it a gift.”

=MS=

She sat at Henry’s desk, mirroring Elizabeth at her own as she read the first half of Henry’s manuscript properly this time as Elizabeth read ahead of her. Both had their reading glasses perched on their faces and colored pens in their hands as they made notes on the sides. Empty mugs sat abandoned on the corners of both desks.

It was how Henry found them each time he wandered through, replacing coffee or leaving a snack. Never interrupting the silence.

When he brought in sandwiches, Henry finally sat in the chair in the corner and watched them work a bit more before speaking. “Is this how it always was at the office?” When they both glanced up in tandem, he pointed a section of sandwich between them. “You’ve both picked up one another’s little habits as well.” He smiled. “It’s cute.”

Nadine exchanged a look with Elizabeth before the latter spoke. “Cute?”

He nodded. “You are both cute.”


	24. Chapter 24

Nadine stared at the scrapes on her palms. Now that her hands were cleaned up, they didn’t look all that bad, though they stung still. Raising her left hand, she prodded at the bandage on the side of her head, making herself hiss in pain. It was how a nurse found her a moment later, stepping in with a bit of paper in her hand.

“I just wanted to let you know, the doctor is reviewing your chart and signing the discharge paperwork. It won’t be long now.”

It had been a very long afternoon, dealing with the police and then waiting in the emergency room. She was ready to get back to the safety of her hotel room so she could finally relax. “Thank you.”

“Also, there is a woman out here asking about you. She asked by name and said-” She looked at the slip of paper in her fingers. “She said she is here from The Secretary’s office. She said you would understand what that meant.” The nurse glanced up again and Nadine reluctantly nodded. “It is up to you if I allow her in, but she added that if it looked like you were going to refuse her, to say she was sent by a Blake.”

That made Nadine roll her eyes despite the pain still radiating through her head. Whoever this person was, she wasn’t the least bit surprised that Blake had a hand in it somehow. “Please send her in?”

The nurse nodded and stepped out again. Nadine only had a few seconds to make sure she looked as put together as she could be sitting on an emergency room gurney. A dark-haired woman nervously entered, giving her a small smile. “Hi. I- I know we haven’t met, Miss Tolliver. I’m Kat Sandoval.”

Instantly, Nadine knew the name from both Blake and Elizabeth talking about her. “I’ve heard of you.”

That seemed to make Kat relax. “And I know who you are, from my time on the Hill. I was in the city; I’ve been handling some things at the UN and Blake called me and asked me to come down here.” She glanced out the window into the hall and back again. “I guess he gets alerts still for your name if something comes up, he didn’t explain why.” She shrugged. “That man does things sometimes that make no sense. Anyway.” Kat sighed. “He told me to escort you back to your hotel, which is apparently across the street from where I’ve been staying anyway. He said you’re alone on your trip and might need something and also that he wanted a very detailed report of your injuries. And he asked me to put pressure on resolving the situation with the local police so they don’t just drop it.”

“You don’t have to do that.” Nadine shook her head.

“Oh, he made it clear he’d be following up as well as soon as the party is over at the McCords’ home tonight. He said you knew about it. The party that is.” Her phone buzzed and she dug it out of her coat pocket. After a moment reading the screen, she finally approached the bed, holding the phone out so Nadine could see.

Nadine squinted, but the print was too small. “I’m sorry, my reading glasses were in my purse.”

Kat seemed to simply take that in stride, looking at the screen and reading it off. “It says- The last guest is just leaving, so tell Nadine she has roughly fifteen minutes before I tell the Secretary she was mugged in Central Park this afternoon.” Her eyes came back up to Nadine, who was working to edge off the bed and stand.

“The nurse should be back with my paperwork any minute. Ask him to please stall until I can get back to my hotel? And you don’t have to pay for my cab fare. I’ll… figure something out.” All her money, ID, everything had been in her purse.

“Ma’am, with all due respect, I have to ride back as well, so I’m paying the same amount either way.”

Well, she had her on that one. “Tell him I don’t need a sitter.” When Kat only stood there, Nadine waved for her to type.

A beat later, the phone pinged, but the nurse stepped in with the aforementioned paperwork before Kat could read it out. Once they were free to go, she spoke again. “It says he can be on a train within the hour.” Her tone made it sound more like an offer, but Nadine knew it was a threat.

She huffed. “Fine. But no ‘ma’ams’ or ‘Miss Tolliver’s, it’s Nadine. Please.”

“Of course.” Kat kept close to her side, one hand hovering just in case her steps were unsteady.

Nadine wondered how they were going to explain to Kat just why Blake and Elizabeth would even care about a former employee and coworker.

=MS=

Her head was throbbing as she leaned back in a chair, listening to Elizabeth’s concern through the room phone. “I am okay, Elizabeth, I promise.”

“How bad is your head?”

“I only needed a few stitches. It bled a lot, unfortunately. My shirt is ruined and I’d love to be able to wash my hair, but I can’t get the stitches wet.” She touched the bandage again and winced, again.

“What was that?”

“What was what?”

“You sounded like you were in pain just then. Is Kat still with you? Maybe I should ask her how you really look.”

“No, she went for some food she said. I can see why you were so taken with her, Elizabeth. She’s a cross between Jay and Blake.”

“Don’t try and change the subject on me… I wish you would just come back early, Nadine.”

“I’m fine.”

Elizabeth sighed. “Please?”

She softened her voice. “I promise I’m okay. And look, apparently Blake and Kat are leaning on the local PD to not just let it fall by the wayside. It’s two more days.” Nadine frowned. “They said I have a slight concussion. I have a horrible headache, but other than that, I really am okay. Tell me how the party went.”

There was a heavy sigh. “It went well enough. Mike B and Russell had an agenda, well, more than one, but a joint one as well. I want to talk to you about it later. But… Henry’s reason for missing went off without a hitch I believe.”

It was hard suddenly being on the outside of classified information, but Nadine was long familiar with the feeling. She appreciated that at least both Henry and Elizabeth were honest that there was something classified they couldn’t talk about instead of pretending it didn’t exist. “That’s good.”

“What if I sent him up to finish out the weekend with you?”

“That’s unnecessary.”

“Do you really think he’ll agree when he finds out you were attacked?”

No, she didn’t. She was well aware of Henry’s protective tendencies. “I’ve been caring for myself for a really long time.”

“Because you had to, Nadine… You don’t have to anymore.”

=MS=

A small part of her wasn’t surprised that by the time she was ready to get back on the train to DC, most of her purse had been returned to her. She’d still had to cancel her credit cards and the cash she’d been carrying was gone, but it was a start. And the police knew who had hurt her, that was good too.

Exiting the train station in DC, Nadine looked around for Elizabeth, having been warned by both Henry and Blake that she’d been hell-bent on picking her up. She was loathe to admit it, but spotting Elizabeth waiting near the exit filled her with relief. Once she was close enough, Nadine abandoned her bag on the floor and stepped into the waiting hug.

“I’m glad you are okay.” Elizabeth softly spoke. “I was so worried, Darling.” They pulled apart just enough that she could look over the side of Nadine’s head and then her hands. “When he told me something happened to you, my heart was in my throat. To think I was throwing some silly party while you were alone and in pain.” She threaded an arm through Nadine’s. “Let’s get you home.”

Nadine turned to gather her bag, surprised that one of the agents had already picked it up. “My home, please. I just need to settle in and take some time to recuperate.”

“Kat said your head looked pretty bad.”

She couldn’t argue with that. It looked about as bad as it still felt. She’d been thankful in the end that Kat had been around. The younger woman had volunteered to help her clean up some of the blood and had generally checked in to make sure she was doing okay. “Please tell her I appreciate everything she did for me.”

“I will.” They climbed into the SUV. “There is something I was hoping we could talk about once we get you home, if you’re up for it?”

Nadine didn’t miss the anxious look on her face. “What is it?”

Elizabeth reached out and took one of her hands. “I want to talk about it privately, but I want you to hear it from me first.”

“O- okay.”

=MS=

Finally home, Nadine let Elizabeth care for her a bit before the pair of them curled onto the couch, she against Elizabeth’s chest.

“I want to talk to you. Russell and Mike have both been pushing hard for me to make a presidential bid.” Nadine tensed, but Elizabeth didn’t let her go. “Both of them carried on about how this Christmas party I threw was a great launching point to start gathering support. I keep telling them I don’t want to be president, but I didn’t want you to overhear a rumor and panic.” She drew a breath. “I have no political ambitions and I won’t ever cast you aside for something like a presidential run. I remember how hurt you were when you learned Marsh was planning to run and you admitted he would’ve gotten rid of you when he did.”

The room was quiet for several minutes. “You’re right, I would have jumped to the worst conclusion. I- I think you should run, though. I think you are exactly what this country needs.” She pushed upright so she was facing her. “You should at least consider it. Either way, you’re done being Secretary of State after this term. Are you okay leaving the future of this country in the hands of some other politician without at least putting up a fight?”

“But what about you? What about us?”

“We’ll work it out when the time comes… Who else knows about this idea of theirs?”

Elizabeth huffed a small laugh. “Neither of them have been quiet about their desires for me to run. All the senior staff know, plus Stevie. According to Russell, he and Conrad had promised to support Hurst in the next election, but have now pulled that support if I run because they like me better. Those were his words.”

“Russell admitted he likes you?” She laughed, touching the bandage on her head. “I must’ve been hit in the head harder than I thought.” When Elizabeth pulled her back over, she let her, enjoying the feel of tiny kisses carefully being pressed near her injury.

“I’ll leave you to your evening, but first how about I wash your hair for you? I can see you did an admirable job getting the blood out, but me doing it will get you clean and relax you as well.”

“I’d love that.” They stayed cuddled together for another minute before Nadine finally stood, letting Elizabeth take her hand as they made their way to the bathroom.

“It might be better if you undress and put on a robe.”

Nadine smirked. “You just want to see me naked.”

Elizabeth didn’t even blush. “That’s a given.” She shooed her away. “But go. I’ll find what I need.”

By the time Nadine returned, Elizabeth had made a close approximation to a salon sink at her own sink. Carefully, she tugged the tape holding the bandage on her head loose and threw it away.

“Oh, Darling.” Elizabeth was instantly at her side, looking over the row of stitches. “That looks like it hurt so much.”

“It did. It does.” When she was pulled close, she sank into Elizabeth’s embrace. “I was so scared.” She finally admitted it out loud. “When he grabbed me like that and pushed me down, it was really the first time I’ve thought about how life looks without the protection of your security around. I mean, I haven’t travelled really without security in the better part of a decade, it was…” She couldn’t find the right word to finish.

Elizabeth pressed a kiss carefully to the side of her head. “You’re home now and safe. Here, sit. I think it’s high enough that you won’t strain your neck, let me know.”

Nadine settled into the chair and leaned back on the folded towel on the edge of the counter. Her eyes fluttered open once for a moment when Elizabeth tugged the robe off her shoulders but closed them again as warm water was poured over her hair.

“Have you ever thought about growing your hair out again?”

She’s been hovering on the razor edge between simply relaxed and dozing when the question came. “Pardon?”

“You’ve always kept your hair fairly short except… Just after Iran you were letting it grow out. It was as long as mine was at the time.”

“I never really gave much thought to it.” The feel of her scalp being massaged made her sigh. “Did you like it better long?”

“I dunno. Maybe you should grow it out again and see how it feels.”

“It’ll take longer to dye.” She grinned when Elizabeth laughed. “Maybe I should.” As warm water was poured through her hair again, she cracked one eye open. “What would Henry think?”

“He’d be all for you growing it out. He couldn’t believe I cut mine, I’ve never had it this short before.”


	25. Chapter 25

Nadine yawned into her hand as she pulled her door open to the sight of a very tired looking, very cold looking, Elizabeth. “Come on in.” There was no sense in hiding the way she eyed Elizabeth appraisingly. Once the door was shut, despite still being closer to asleep than awake, Nadine didn’t resist curving her hands around Elizabeth’s narrow waist which was only more pronounced due to the fitted coat and the dress beneath. “I always did love this coat on you.” She leaned in, keeping the kiss quick against Elizabeth’s cold lips. “Bedroom.” She pushed her away enough to get her moving. “I turned on the space heaters in there and in the bathroom. The water will only take a second to get hot. Bath or shower?”

Elizabeth sighed as she followed Nadine. “A bath. I was so looking forward to a bath when the pipes burst. I am so cold.” A shiver ran through her. “Thank you for letting me be sent over for the night.”

Pushing the bedroom door shut to keep the heat in, Nadine turned and began working the buttons apart on her coat. “Not a problem. I don’t think you’ve ever stayed over here. You can leave your jewelry and anything else on the dresser there, I’ll go draw the bath for you.”

“Thank you.”

Nadine nodded, stepping into the bathroom. Turning on the tap on the tub, she added bubbles and pulled out extra towels. When the door opened, she turned in time to see Elizabeth shuffle in, the way the dress now dragged on the floor telling her she’d kicked off her shoes.

“Can you unzip me?”

She smiled. “Of course. Shut the door to keep it warm in here.” When Liz crossed the room, Nadine pulled down the zip. “You get in, I’ll go put this on a hanger. You didn’t bring a bag?”

“I wasn’t thinking. I was upset about the basement flooding and then Henry pushed me out the door to come here.”

“I’ll get you some pajamas as well then.” Slipping back into the bedroom, Nadine got the dress put away in the closet and dug out a pair of her warmest pajamas, a set she usually had to roll up the pant legs on, and carried them back to the bathroom. By the time she returned, Elizabeth was already mostly submerged in the water. “Better?”

“So much better. Join me?”

“Not tonight. My tub isn’t really big enough for two.” She did reach down though and swirl her fingers in the water, testing the temperature. “Get warm and relaxed. I’ll go make some tea for when you’re out and then we can get you into bed.” When Elizabeth looked up at her, she smiled. “My turn to take care of you.”

When Elizabeth finally climbed out of the water twenty minutes later, the bedroom was toasty warm as they both burrowed under the heavy duvet once Elizabeth was dry and dressed. Elizabeth was nearly asleep as Nadine arranged them both until she was the big spoon. Combing her fingers through blonde hair, she pressed a kiss to her shoulder. “Sleep now.”

=MS=

The following morning, Nadine slipped back into her bedroom with two mugs of coffee to the sight of Elizabeth, still in pajamas, frowning at her dress. “Coffee to keep you warm.”

Elizabeth gave her a brief smile of thanks.

“What’s up?”

“Last night I thought it was a great idea to just toss on my dress to get home and change.” She looked at Nadine. “Now it’s a horrible idea.” She sipped her coffee and sighed. “Something’s wrong with Conrad, I can’t put my finger on it.”

“His son?”

“I don’t think so. I mean, Harrison definitely gets him off kilter, but this is… something else. Even Russell doesn’t know what to do.”

She could see how much Elizabeth worried about her friend. “You’ll work it out, I have faith in you.” She tugged her close enough to kiss. “If you really don’t want to put the dress back on, I have a new pair of yoga pants I haven’t taken to the tailor yet and a sweatshirt.” She stepped away, leaving her mug on the dresser to fish those, plus a tshirt, out. “Here you go. You’re only running home, so I would skip fighting with that bra if it were me.”

“You take your yoga pants to the tailor?”

Nadine chuckled. “I take everything in. Get dressed and I’ll get you some breakfast before you leave.”

As she was almost to the door, Elizabeth caught her about the waist and pulled her near. “Thank you, I love you.”

“I love you too.”

=MS=

Nadine barely gave the caller ID on her phone a glance as she answered the incoming call. “Hello Elizabeth.”

“No, It’s me.”

“Blake! I’m sorry. How are you?”

“Good. I was calling to ask you, are you free today for lunch? Henry is handling the pipe situation at the house, plus something involving the kids… or maybe it was just Jason, I can’t remember.” He drew a breath. “Things are really crazy around here right now and I have this gut feeling they’re only about to get worse-”

“Blake?” She cut off his rambling, smiling to herself. “The point?”

“The point is… She and Henry had a lunch date scheduled and he just called me to cancel it because of everything going on and I… I really think she needs to step away for a few minutes to clear her head with all this crazy happening. So… I was wondering if you were free to meet her there instead.” He finally finished. “I know it’s short notice, but before I call the restaurant and cancel the reservation, I thought I’d at least ask.”

“Does she know you’re asking?”

“Of course not.”

“Okay. Give me the information, but don’t… don’t mention the switch to her. It’ll be a surprise.”

She could hear his grin in his voice. “Of course.”

=MS=

Nadine made sure she was at the restaurant first, a task made easier partly by being familiar with Elizabeth’s schedule and partly by Blake’s text that she’d finally left the Truman.

There was a chuckle behind her alerting her that Elizabeth had showed up. “Now, you don’t look like Henry.” She slid into the seat across from her. “Am I having lunch with both of you then?”

“No, just me. A little bird told me Henry had to cancel, something to do with fixing the pipes, and I was asked if I’d like to stand in.” She unfolded her napkin and took a sip of the provided water. “I thought it’d be a nice surprise.”

She smiled. “It is.”

“So, get any work talk out of the way first. Blake said things were still difficult around the office?”

Elizabeth’s smile fell away. “Things are in play now that… that unfortunately I can’t discuss.”

Nadine reached across the table and gave her hand a quick squeeze. “I understand. I’m still here for you, just tell me what you need.”

“Right now I just need this. A breather.”

“Then that’s what this is.”


	26. Chapter 26

Nadine was becoming used to simply letting herself into the McCord’s house. The agents out front gave her little more than a quick nod these days. Placing her bag on the entry table, she unwound her scarf and hung her things on the coat rack as the sound of the stairs creaking caught her attention. A smile was already playing at her lips as she turned, surprised to see Alison staring at her.

Opening her arms, Nadine approached her, hugging her when Ali stepped into her arms. “Your mom told me about your roommate. I am so sorry.” She pulled back to look her over. “How are you holding up?”

Alison shook her head. “I keep trying to understand… Why didn’t she just tell me, you know? I mean, I get that school is stressful and I would’ve understood if she’d told me about having depression or something.”

Her heart ached for all Alison had been through in the past week. “It can be hard to talk about. And… She saw you, saw your family and from the outside, to people who don’t know, you look pretty perfect. And that can be scary.”

Alison gave a small laugh. “We’re scary? We’re not perfect.”

“I know. But because of your mom, you all lead a fairly public life. You all have your disagreements and your differences, but you have them here. Inside your home.” Nadine began to usher her toward the kitchen. “Also, when you’re battling something like depression or anxiety, your brain convinces you no one else will understand.”

“Have you ever- have you ever had problems like that?” Alison glanced her way and then ducked her head. “I think I kind of know how it feels, you know? I’ve been wondering if sometimes maybe that’s what’s been wrong with me and I didn’t know what it was.”

“It can be really hard to define. It’s normal to be anxious about something from time to time. A new school, a new job… exams.” She offered her a soft smile when she looked up. “It’s a problem when it’s all the time or it keeps you from living your life. One day you think it’s normal anxiety and then you look back and realize it’s been that way for months or… years even. Depression can be much the same.”

“Oh.”

Nadine reached out, tucking a lock of hair behind Ali’s ear and then behind her shoulder, drawing a small smile from her. “As to your question… yes. I’m familiar with battles like that.” That caught her attention. “Perhaps that’s a conversation for another day, hm?” She rubbed Ali’s arm.

“Do you think… Do you think mom would understand if I asked to see a therapist?”

She drew a breath. “Yes. I can guarantee you she would.”

The kitchen was quiet a minute before Alison finally nodded. “Okay. And… thank you, Nadine. I’m- I’m kind of glad you are around. For mom… But for us too. Even when… even when we’ve not been very nice to you, you’ve never treated us bad in return.” Alison hugged her and then left, leaving Nadine on her own until Elizabeth came in.

“That looked intense.”

She was beaming despite herself. “I think Alison and I had a moment of understanding. It’ll come up again, but I told her it needed to wait. I need to talk to you about it first.”

“About what?”

Nadine sighed, leaning against the counter as Elizabeth made a cup of coffee. “We were talking about her roommate and she asked if I’d ever faced metal health problems.”

That caught Elizabeth’s attention. “And?”

She nodded slowly. “Anxiety and depression are common comorbidities of anorexia.” When blue eyes met hers, she blushed at the admission, ducking her face away and drawing a steadying breath. “It’s a bit of a chicken or the egg situation… Does the anorexia cause the anxiety and depression or the other way around? But… in the end it hardly matters which. It all has to be addressed.”

“I- I didn’t know any of this.” There was clear concern in her eyes.

Nadine tried to wave it away. “I wasn’t even Alison’s age; it was a long time ago. And, some of it was environment. I was part of a dance company and it was almost the norm. It felt like nearly every girl had one eating disorder or another and I wasn’t willing to ruin my teeth being bulimic.” She shrugged as if it had been no big deal. “Teenagers are cruel, and we even judged one another for our chosen disordered behavior. How messed up is that?”

“But you got through it.”

“I learned to cope. Treatment options then weren’t what they are now, and it wasn’t something you talked about with others… One of the girls introduced me to pot and the rest, as they say, is history. I’m not sure how much I got better and how much was the effects of the pot serving multiple benefits. I wanted to eat… munchies are a real thing.” She chuckled despite the overall mood. “I was high, so I was relaxed. I mean, unless I got a bad high, those were rare though. And I felt a bit euphoric then. So, it felt like it countered all the worst symptoms.” She sighed. “These days it has the added bonus of easing pain when it’s hard to get up and around. This cold weather just gets harder to get through every winter.”

Elizabeth studied her a second. “Do you… Do you think that’s why Ali does it?”

It took her a moment to work out exactly what she was asking. “Could be.”

“I- I’m not sure what to think.” Elizabeth tipped her head, thinking, as she leaned against the opposite counter. “I was so embarrassed and ashamed, you know…after Iran.”

“I know.”

“I never considered someone else might have an inkling of how I was feeling.” She made a soft huff. “And I put all of you through hell.”

“We understood.” When Elizabeth’s attention returned to her, she offered her a smile. “I know what I battled; Matt grew up with a father who had struggles that couldn’t be hidden from the family though he did his best to hide it from the world. Jay has struggled with surviving after one of his postings overseas. Daisy seems the most…stable… but I know she’s struggled with being a black woman in a world that isn’t often kind to either. And now she’s a black single mother. I can only relate to a small portion of that. My point is, we all carry something, and we all understand not talking about it. None of us judged you after Iran. We knew what sacrifices you made. We knew what sort of hell you’d gone through.”

“Oh.”

“And, like I told Ali, when you are in the midst of battling something like that, rational thought tends to take a vacation.” When Elizabeth pulled her into her arms, she allowed their bodies to meld together. “She’ll be okay, by the way.” She leaned in and kissed her. “It’s okay to worry, but do it knowing she’ll be okay.”

“I’ll try.”

“Good.” She backed up, moving to make her own coffee as Henry walked in. Nadine took the few steps toward him, brushing one hand down the front of his shirt before slipping it around his waist and leaning into a kiss before pulling away again. Over her shoulder, she watched as he repeated almost the same action to Elizabeth. “I’ve been trying to talk her down from stressing out over Alison.”

Henry laughed. “How’d that go?”

“About as you would expect. I did talk to Ali when I got here, though. I think she’s going to be fine. She just needs… support.”

“Well, she has that with all of us.” He agreed. “I talked to her about it a bit last week.”

“I told her I’d talk to her more later. Sometimes it’s easier to talk to someone who isn’t a parent.”

Elizabeth crossed the space and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Especially when that person can relate.”


	27. Chapter 27

She could see her own breath in the icy air of the barn. She wasn’t really in there for any purpose except to explore a bit, to enjoy the smell of the hay and the horses. Nadine had agreed to make the trip to Charlottesville with the family for a four-day weekend trip, which was turning out better than she’d expected.

Out here, where there were no neighbors and even security hung back closer to the road, Nadine realized this could be their oasis. They didn’t have to worry about being seen or heard, even when they were outside.

“There you are.”

Nadine turned, looking back toward the doorway. She hadn’t heard Henry come in. She gave him a soft smile. “Just looking around.”

Henry walked down the aisle to her side, wrapping his arms around her. “This barn is one of Elizabeth’s favorite places.”

“I can see why. It’s peaceful.” She hooked her hands over his arms. “Are the kids taking the horses out today?”

“Later.” He sighed. “Apparently Stevie invited Blake out for the rest of the weekend. She just told us he’ll be here by midafternoon. They’re planning to go riding after that.”

“They’re getting serious.” She tipped her head back to look up at his face. “Do you and Elizabeth ever go riding?”

“Sometimes.”

“I’ve never been on a horse.”

“Really?”

Nadine shook her head.

“It’s fun. It can be scary at first, but there’s a feeling of freedom to it. If you want to try riding, we can go out.”

“Maybe later.” She turned in his arms, threading the fingers of one hand into his hair and bringing him down so she could kiss him. His coat wasn’t done up, so she slipped her other hand around his waist as they slowly made out.

When Henry finally pulled away to breathe, he looked quickly around the aisle and took her hand. “Come here.” The end stall was vacant save for where the bales of hay were stacked for winter storage. He left her standing and vanished again, returning with a heavy blanket that he spread out over some of the hay. Returning to her side, Henry worked her coat open before kissing her again. Panting for breath, he rested their heads together. “I take it you’ve never had sex in the hay then?”

Nadine simpered. “No.”

“Would you like to?”

That made her pause. “What about…”

“She knew what was on my mind when I came looking for you.” He brushed another kiss to her lips. “I promise you won’t get too cold.”

They’d been growing more tactile without Elizabeth around, but this was the first time either of them had voiced a desire to be together as a pair without Elizabeth involved. Her breath caught; it would be the first time the two of them properly had sex. Fingers brushing hair away from her face brought her attention back to where they were standing. “Well, if you’re planning to keep me warm…”

“So warm.” He walked her backward, dropping his hands to begin undoing her pants. “I do advise not getting totally naked though.”

“I understand.” She laid out on the blanket, lifting her hips so he could pull her jeans and underwear off before shedding his own. She pulled her arms free of her coat before pulling him into another kiss and keeping him there, close to her body. “I’m all yours, Henry.”

Holding his weight off her with one arm, he teased his cock along her folds before easing the head in. “You have no idea how it makes me feel to hear that.” He leaned in, teasing her neck with his lips and teeth. She shifted as he pressed further inside. “You’re so tight.”

When a hand found one of her breasts under her sweater, she gripped his ass with her hands. “You feel so good.” She moaned into each of his thrusts. “You and Liz do this often?” She felt him chuckle into her throat. “You had a blanket at the ready.” She squeezed her pelvic muscles, making him groan.

“We do, yes. God, if you keep doing that, this is going to go quick.”

“I don’t mind quick every now and again.” His pace picked up for a moment at that and it was her turn to chuckle. “How about I help us along?”

“How so?”

Nadine turned loose of his ass and began rolling her clit under her fingers as she pulled him back into a kiss. It didn’t take long before she was writhing beneath him, her walls fluttering in anticipation. “Henry!”

“I’m right there. I’m right there, Darling.” He kissed her again. “Can you come for me?” He ground down, adding pressure to each thrust. “Come for me, Darling.”

Nadine came with a cry, louder than she’d expected making her thankful they were far from the house and everyone else. Seconds later, Henry was pressed deep inside her, his cock pulsing as he came.

They stayed wrapped together for several minutes, until she felt the need to shift away from the cooling wet feeling of their mixed come. Henry finally pulled away and stood, finding his pants and righting his clothes. “Don’t worry too much about the blanket. We have a washer in there for the horse blankets, it’ll just get tossed right in.” He pulled her to a seated position, helping her begin to redress. “Don’t want you to catch cold.” He draped her coat around her shoulders. “I love you. Head in and get cleaned up if you want, I think Elizabeth is camped out by the fire.”

Finished righting her clothes, Nadine tugged him down for another kiss. “I love you too.”

Inside, Nadine hesitated before heading first to the living room where, sure enough, Elizabeth was buried under multiple blankets with a book. She leaned in to kiss her, bursting into surprised giggles when Liz pulled her down on top of her with a coy smile on her face.

“You smell like the two of you.” Elizabeth deepened the kiss. “Did he take care of you?”

“Yes, he did.” She shifted so she was sprawled out on Elizabeth more comfortably. “It was a first for me. A few firsts I suppose.” Despite knowing she should go get cleaned up, Nadine let her eyes slip shut. “Maybe we could go riding later?”

“Have you ever been?”

“No. But I heard you like to, and I like to try the things you like to do.”

There was a pause and she could already feel Elizabeth’s chest begin to shake beneath her. “I like to do Henry, but now you’ve already tried that.” She burst into pleased laughter at her own joke.

Nadine rolled her eyes and shook her head as she laughed along with her. “What do I ever see in you?”

=MS=

It was Nadine’s opinion that the kitchen in the farmhouse was laid out much better than the one in Georgetown. It definitely made it easier for multiple people to be working at one time. It also made clean-up faster. Pushing the dishwasher shut, she wasn’t surprised when Elizabeth appeared almost out of nowhere and pressed her until she was against the back wall and their lips were together. It seemed she wasn’t the only one who appreciated the small amount of freedom afforded by this house to be overtly affectionate.

When Elizabeth freed her lips and moved on to kiss along her jaw, her hands teased along Nadine’s sides and along to top of her pants. “Do you even know how wonderful it is to see you fitting in so well with our family? To see the kids finally accepting you? God, Nadine, it makes me wish you could just move in permanently.”

“Now that would get people talking.”

“I wish I could just say fuck them all and do what we wanted.”

A hand found its was under her sweater, easily pushing her bra up and out of the way. “It’s still early, exactly what are you planning there?” She failed miserably at biting back the moan that slipped out when Elizabeth began rolling a nipple to hardness. “Liz…” She tried to make it sound like a warning, but realized it probably sounded more like begging. Her sweater got pushed up.

“The kids just went out to finish putting the horses up for the night. We have maybe ten minutes.”

Nadine gasped as the sweater went higher, exposing her breast to Elizabeth’s mouth as a thigh pressed between her legs. All she could do was hold on tight for purchase as Liz’s other hand deftly worked her pants open and then found her clit, wasting no time starting a furious pace. “Liz…” She tried again, this time it came out desperate.

“I’ve been able to smell you all day. I just want to get you off.” She resumed her oral assault on Nadine’s breast, picking up the pace with her fingers.

She was rocketing to her finish and bit down hard on her lower lip to stop from crying out, but Elizabeth didn’t let up, didn’t back off rushing her over the edge. She sagged against the thigh offering her support as her hips rutted for something to fill her. Her back arched as she came fast. Somewhere at the peak, she felt Elizabeth shift, fully covering her body as she rode her out.

“Someone is coming.” Liz whispered. “Don’t worry.”

Nadine’s sweater was pulled back down, her bra still pushed out of place, even as fingers were working her through to her finish. She was panting, legs weak, but she wasn’t cut off from finishing until she started to get sensitive and shifted away. Then hands were fumbling, rushing to right her pants an then she was alone against the wall, Elizabeth now at the sink casually washing her hands.

Completely oblivious to her state in the kitchen, Blake entered through the back door and headed directly into the next room saying something about gloves and then vanished outside again, never looking her way. Her walls were still fluttering with the after ripples of her orgasm and she wasn’t ready to move when Elizabeth returned to her side.

“How about we take you upstairs and Henry and I put you in bed and see if was can’t make it hard for you to walk the rest of the weekend?”

“I think it sounds like a wonderful plan.”


	28. Chapter 28

“Did she tell you that Jason asked if he and Piper could go to Montreal?” Henry stepped back into the bathroom to rinse toothpaste from his mouth.

Over the running water, Nadine answered. “No, when did that happen?” She was seated on the edge of his side of the bed, already in pajamas, waiting on him.

He chuckled as he reentered the bedroom, flicking the bathroom light off. “Last night he brought it up. Apparently Piper wants to interview the woman holding the protest outside the hotel for the school paper.”

Nadine smirked, scooting backward across the mattress as he walked her way. “Of course she said yes to that.”

Henry nodded, crawling into bed and sorting out the sheet and duvet over them. “So Jason and Piper are going to Montreal."

"Are you going as well?" They both adjusted pillows and got comfortable.

“No, I have to teach. It’s only a short trip anyway.” He tugged her close, spooning against her back. “You know, maybe we could justify you going as well, if you wanted. I mean, technically they’re still minors and we could say you’re going as supervision while Elizabeth’s working.”

“Who all is going?”

She felt as he hummed in thought a moment. “Jay and some aides are going ahead and I think it’s just her flying up to meet him.” His hand brushed her hair back and then wrapped around her. “Think about it. You deserve to get away for a couple nights, just the two of you.”

Nadine silently considered his suggestion. It was near impossible to justify she tagging along on any sort of trip, a fact she was fine with, but he made a decent point about Jason and Piper technically needing supervision. Nestled in Henry’ arms, she dozed until the sounds of Elizabeth finally making it home and readying for bed brought her back to wakefulness hours later. In the dark, she reached out as Elizabeth crawled under the covers, pulling her close.

There was a soft chuckle as Elizabeth kissed her. “Is the middle for whoever gets here first now?”

That made her smile. “He was keeping me warm.” She shifted in his arms, causing a reaction of his arm tightening for a moment as he ground himself against her ass. “Do you want the middle?”

“No, you stay.”

“He told me about Jason and Piper. He suggested I should tag along under the guise of being their chaperone.”

“Should go.” Henry sleeping spoke. “Two days away.”

“I think he’s suggesting we need a vacation.”

Elizabeth made a soft laugh. “I wouldn’t say no to a couple days with you.”

“We’ll talk more in the morning then. You sleep now.”

=MS=

Nadine stood at the bathroom mirror, half dressed, putting on makeup and finishing her hair as Henry and Elizabeth discussed the problems arising in Canada. The domesticity of it all was comfortable now to her; the way they all shared the bathroom seamlessly as conversation flowed between them all. When Jason’s voice filtered in from the bedroom, she reached for her blouse, hurriedly pulling it on just in case, but the youngest McCord wasn’t likely to wander fully into his parents’ room, especially when he knew she was there. When he’d gone again, she stepped back into the bedroom, sitting in the chair in the far corner to pull on her shoes as she watched Elizabeth dig through her earrings. After a minute, she finally spoke up. “Which pair are you looking for?”

Elizabeth looked her way. “The pendant ones, you know with the yellow that the diamonds?” She made the shape of a circle with her finger.

“They’re in the bathroom in the dish by the sink.” When Elizabeth dumped the earrings in her hand back in the dish and hurried off to check, she chuckled. “Are they meeting you at the office after school?” She watched as Henry followed the new conversation, looking back and forth.

“Yes. You’re meeting me there as well, right?”

“I was thinking I’d just meet you downstairs, save getting through security and everything.”

That drew Elizabeth out of the bathroom, eyes narrowing at her. “What’s the real reason?”

She should’ve known that excuse wouldn’t work. “It’s barely been six months since I left. It would be weird for everyone if I suddenly turned up.”

“It’ll be fine. Everyone will be thrilled to see you.”

Nadine sighed. “Fine. If you’ve certain.”

“I am.” She collected her blazer from over the back of the chair Nadine was still sitting in, kissed her, and headed downstairs. Right behind her, Henry also pressed a kiss to her lips and followed. Alone in the room, Nadine worked to convince herself Elizabeth was right.

=MS=

Stepping off the elevator, Nadine went through all the old familiar steps of leaving her phone and walking through the halls to Elizabeth’s office. She didn’t run into anyone who seemed to take any notice of her until she was at Blake’s desk. “Is she busy?”

His head popped up in momentary surprise. “Hi!” He grinned. “And no, go on in. She told me you were accompanying the kids on the trip but didn’t mention you were meeting up here.”

“It was her idea.” She shook her head. “Since Piper and Jason are headed straight here after school.”

“I see. It’s been a little crazy around here.” He stood, walking with her to the doorway. “Ma’am.”

Elizabeth looked up and grinned. “Hey! You came! The kids should be here any minute and then we can get going.” She stood and rounded her desk as Blake left, closing the door behind him. Taking Nadine’s hands, she pulled her close. “Remember this?” She bumped their noses together before kissing her. “It feels like ages ago. I should find excuses to get you in here more often.”

Nadine laughed. “I think my days fooling around up here are over.”

Her lip popped out in a pout. “But we never truly appreciated the counter in my bathroom.”

“You’re incorrigible.” A knock on the door cut her off and they pulled apart, expecting it to open right away, but whoever it was didn’t open the door.

“Come in!” Elizabeth finally called out.

Blake pulled the door open, not hiding the look he passed over the pair of them before a brow arched. “I just wanted to let you know, the kids are just getting through security downstairs.”

“Right.”

He gave a quick nod and vanished again, closing the door.

“Well, I guess that ruins my plans.”

“I think that was his point.”

=MS=

“How would you feel about telling Jay.”

“About?” Nadine was reading a book, they were almost to Montreal.

“Us.”

That made her put the book down. “Why?”

Elizabeth shrugged. “I know we got you your own room, but it’ll suck to come all this way and have you sleeping down the hall. Jason and my detail won’t say anything, but Jay will definitely have questions.” Beneath the table, her fingers caught Nadine’s free hand and folded them together. “Think about it?”

She gave it some thought. The reasons for being secretive before had to do with the fact she’d still been Elizabeth’s Chief of Staff, which she no longer was. The relationship wasn’t even in the realm of similar to what she’d had before, which Jay knew about and never treated her negatively for. There really was no reason anymore to keep it from the people they could trust to keep it private and Jay, she knew for a fact, would walk through hell to protect Elizabeth. “We can tell him.”

“Really?”

Nadine nodded. “He can be trusted with your reputation. That’s the real concern since I’m not part of that world anymore. And as your former Chief of Staff, I can safely say that being aware of anything private that could become an issue if it got out is important for the Chief of Staff to know.”

Her words made Elizabeth grin and then quickly look around the cabin before pressing a quick kiss to her cheek.

They didn’t bring it up with Jay until everything was done for the day. Nadine had entertained herself around the hotel and the small shops and restaurants nearby, taking advantage of the freedom that came from a lack of responsibilities to enjoy relaxed shopping and sightseeing. The kids had already retired to their rooms for the night when Nadine found herself on the couch in the sitting area of the shared suite, Jay in a chair across from her working. It was when Elizabeth sank down beside her, curling into her affectionately that he looked up and hen did a double take.

“I- uh-” He cleared his throat.

Nadine turned to face Elizabeth, letting her take the lead. “There’s something I need to tell you, Jay.” She tucked a loose curl behind Nadine’s ear. “Obviously we aren’t public about it, but Nadine and I are in a relationship.”

In the stunned silence that followed, Nadine arched a brow at her silently.

“Well, that’s not entirely true. Henry and I are in a relationship with Nadine.”

“I- wow. Wh- when? When did this…”

She watched as Liz smiled at her before turning back. “About four years. I brought up my interest not long after I took the job and then Henry, well, things grew over time.”

“And- and why are you telling me this…now?”

Nadine decided she could answer that one. “Partly so you didn’t wonder when I choose to use her room tonight instead of my own, but also… as her Chief of Staff, you should be informed of anything that could come up down the line. We do our best to be discrete, obviously, but things do happen.”

“I- oh. Okay.” He nodded and sank back into his chair, studying them. “Is this why…”

When he didn’t carry on, she tipped her head. “I retired?” She watched him nod. “Some of it. I was ready to pass the torch and having something I really wanted made me willing to accept it was time.”

“I’m happy for you. All of you. And… thank you for trusting me with this.” His eyes shifted to Elizabeth. “I’m guessing this is something we’ll have to make sure stays quiet ahead of your presidential run?”

They both grinned as she tossed her head back. “I’m not running for president!” She stood when they laughed.

Jay looked back to Nadine. “She’s so running.”

“Yes, she is.” They watched Elizabeth close herself into the bedroom.

“But really, Nadine… I remember when we learned about Marsh. I’m guessing this isn’t the same?”

She shook her head. “No, it’s not. I mean, Henry knows, obviously, so there isn’t a secret there and other people know as well. People we can trust. I don’t know what it would look like if she decided to run, but they both already told me whatever it is wouldn’t involve me being cast aside.” Her phone beeped and she reached across to grab it.

“Well, that’s good. Boss or not, I would hate to see you get hurt again.”

The message on the screen was from Elizabeth, Nadine stood. “Excuse me.” She couldn’t help the blush that rose on her skin as she left him sitting.

=MS=

It had been an odd feeling, lounging in the hotel room while international negotiations took place on the ground floor. Nadine had just settled into some reading when a blast outside shook the building. Dumping her book on the floor, she rushed to the windows, desperate to work out what had happened. Part of her wanted to dart out the door and find Elizabeth, make sure she was okay, but she was too aware of the protocols, too aware of how security worked and knew it was best to stay in place and wait. Even if she was there independently, the agents still would consider her safety as important.

There was shouting in the hall just before the door burst open, Elizabeth shouting for the kids as Jay did his best to keep up.

“They’re not here.” Nadine rushed to look her over. “Are you okay?” Elizabeth brushed past her though and she turned to Jay. “Is she okay?”

“We were inside when the blast went off. Maybe a few bumps and bruises from falling initially, but we can’t find the kids. Jason’s phone says he’s in the hotel.”

“I haven’t seen them.” When Elizabeth rushed back out the door despite her detail’s protests, Nadine followed. “Let me check, Elizabeth. Stay here.”

“I need to find Jason.”

“I know.” Elizabeth didn’t stop, though, and Nadine stayed with her as she began pounding on the door to Piper’s room. When the door swung open, it became obvious quickly what was going on inside and she shared a look with Jay. Of all the McCord kids to try something like this, somehow she was surprised it was Jason who’d done it. It was obvious Elizabeth was overwhelmed by the discovery, the blast, and whatever else had likely been happening downstairs, so when she simply walked away, Nadine stepped through the still open door. “Gather your things Jason, hurry up.”

“You’re not my mom, you know.”

Her brows shot up. “Do you really want her to come back?”

“…No.”

She stepped aside and let the door close. “What were you thinking? This is a diplomatic trip and while you are both minors, you are still representing America while you are here, not to mention your mother. One day you will have children and you will understand the indescribable fear she just experienced as she thought you both were in the blast that just happened. All the while, you were up here so absorbed in doing something I’m guessing you both are well aware was wrong that you didn’t even know people might have just died out on the street.” Looking them over, she huffed. “Ten minutes, Jason. I have a feeling your mom will be speaking with both of you.”

=MS=

Straddling Elizabeth, Nadine pressed firmly into the muscles along her back, drawing a groan from her. “I understand you’ve been a bit stressed this week, but you are a mess.”

Elizabeth laughed. “Thanks.”

She smiled. “I’ll get it all sorted out for you.” She pressed her thumbs into a knot.

“You have magic hands.” She sighed. “Should I have seen it coming? Jason, I mean. Should I have expected him to do something like that?”

“Do you really want me to answer that?” She watched as Liz twisted to peer at her with one eye, offering her a bashful grin. “He’s sixteen and considering being sexually active, that’s to be expected.”

“I guess. Apparently Alison was fifteen and Stevie… I have no idea when that happened with her. I’d say I still don’t know but…”

“I highly doubt she and Blake are abstaining from anything.”

“Yeah, thanks.”

“I think all you can do is keep having those talks and then hope for the best.”

“I know. And I was their age my first time… I was rebelling against being orphaned and alone.”

“I was thirteen.” That did get Elizabeth to roll over. Nadine slid gracefully to the bed, staring down at her.

“Thirteen?”

She shrugged. “In the back of my boyfriend’s car. Very classy.”

“You had a boyfriend old enough to drive at thirteen?” Her eyes were wide with surprise.

“I was rebelling a bit myself.” When Elizabeth tugged her hand, she let herself be pulled down. “So, Henry wasn’t your first?”

“No. Did you think he was?”

“I wouldn’t have been surprised.” She traced her fingers up her arm. “Did you regret it once you found him?”

Elizabeth was quiet a minute. “No. I don’t think so.”

“Did you ever regret any of the people you were with since?”

“For the most part no. I wish I’d found you sooner though.” Nadine felt Elizabeth watching her. “How about you?”

“I have regretted a large number of decisions in my life at one point or another.” She admitted out loud. “I have regretted sleeping with certain men; regretted not valuing my own worth more. I want to say I regret getting involved with Vincent, but at the same time if you hadn’t known that about me, you might not have approached me. And… and if that brought me here to you, how can I regret that?” She let herself get rearranged as Elizabeth curled them together.

“I regret that I can’t ask you to marry me.”


	29. Chapter 29

Juggling her phone, coffee, and the bag with something approximating lunch, Nadine stepped off the elevator with a shiver against the blast of the AC and headed down the hall toward the right room.

Three days before, she’d gotten a call from Sarah that Ruth was in the hospital. Concerned, Nadine had caught the first flight she could and had been taking turns with her brother in law and nieces sitting with her. Placing her meal on a small table, Nadine looked to the bed, smiling with she saw Ruth’s eyes were open. “How are you feeling?”

“Like an elephant is sitting on me.”

She laughed. “That happens when you get pneumonia. Aren’t you supposed to know better than to let it get this bad, being a doctor and all?”

Ruthie attempted a laugh that deteriorated into a coughing fit. “Doctors are horrible patients. I’ve heard lawyers make horrible clients too.”

“True.” Nadine took her hand and gave it a squeeze.

“Tell me something.”

“Like what?”

Ruth did her best to sit up straighter. “Tell me about you. Ralph only talks about work and Julie and Sarah talk about stuff that isn’t new. I want something interesting to think about.” Ruth tugged their joined hands. “Is there anything interesting going on in my big sister’s life?”

Nadine felt her cheeks heat up and looked away.

“Oh! This is going to be good. Come on, Sis, I’m stuck in here, give me something. How are Elizabeth and Henry these days?”

“Good. They’re good.”

“…And the kids? Have they come around?”

She nodded. “Seem to.”

Ruth waited and then poked at her arm. “Talk. Come on. Don’t make me beg, I’ll start coughing again.”

“Her new Chief of Staff knows about us.”

Ruth’s brows shot up. “On purpose or on accident?”

“On purpose. We told him… That was a couple months ago.”

She could see her sister thinking. “During that trip you took.”

“Yes.”

“Okay… And you didn’t call me halfway through a bottle of scotch, so I’m guessing it went okay.”

“It did.”

“So why are you being so evasive, Nay?”

“After the trip, she and I were talking… Things between Henry and I have been getting to a comfortable place now and-” Her phone rang, cutting her off. Nadine checked the ID but didn’t recognize the number, so she silenced it. “Things with Henry have… progressed.”

“Progressed as in…” Ruth made a gesture with her hands, making Nadine blush red.

“That’s so crass!” She laughed. “But yes, we’ve taken that step… Multiple times now.”

“So, if expanding the circle of who knows isn’t what’s keeping you mum and things are going well with Henry… then what’s the thing you’re avoiding telling me about?”

Nadine’s phone rang again, the same number. She ignored it again. “Elizabeth and I were talking-” She sighed. “About our first times, of all things, and then about regrets. About relationships we regretted, that sort of thing and there was this heavy moment and then she said she had one regret-” Her phone rang again.

“You should answer that.”

“I don’t know the number.”

“They clearly are trying to reach you though.” Ruth watched as Nadine debated. “What was her regret?”

Standing to answer the call, Nadine spoke over her shoulder. “That she couldn’t ask me to marry her.” Stepping into the alcove by the door, she connected the line. “Hello?”

“Is this Miss Tolliver?” A man’s voice spoke.

“It is.”

“Ma’am, this is Matt Bailey. The Secretary’s security agent.” He sounded nervous.

“Oh! Hello.” Then a thought occurred to her. “Is she okay? Has something happened?”

“I’m sorry to be calling you from my personal phone, but… I only have a moment. The Secretary is fine. I know this is out of line, but I thought, given your, um…”

“Go on.”

“Right. You might want a heads up. I overheard that you were out of town visiting family, but… Technically it is confidential, Ma’am.” Nervousness bled into concern. “Are you aware of where the Secretary and Doctor McCord are today?”

“Seeing the city with the children. Is everyone okay?”

“They…” He made a frustrated sound. “Fuck it.”

Nadine’s eyes widened in surprise at the agent’s uncharacteristic outburst.

“They’re at an arcade. We got a call to evacuate the Secretary for a confidential reason, but she refused. She insisted on staying with her family, but… she doesn’t look good in there.”

“Evacuate? To where? Why?”

He cleared his throat. “Mister Whitman has already been evacuated, we collected Deputy Cushing. Ma’am… The code is the same as when you held his position….”

Her mind whirled over the possible reasons to evacuate Jay and Elizabeth but no one else.

“She refused to get on the chopper to Bluemont.”

“Oh my god.” Her free hand darted out to steady herself. She turned, staring at Ruth with wide eyes. “Is this…” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “Is this real?”

“… As far as I’m aware, Ma’am. I just… If it’s not, I could end up in prison for this call, but I have been a supporter of your relationship since almost the beginning. I saw how Secretary Marsh treated you and then when he… well, I was happy to see you find something with them. The signal in the arcade is spotty, but you should keep trying her until you get through.”

“She’s with her family though?”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

The line was silent a moment. “Thank you, Matt, for… for breaking the rules.”

“Sometimes doing the right thing involves breaking a rule or two.” She thought his voice caught a moment. “Hopefully I see you soon.”

“I hope so too.” Ending the call, Nadine turned back and stared silently at her sister. There was only one code that would send Elizabeth and Jay scrambling to Mount Weather.

“Everything okay?”

“Hm?”

“I asked if everything was okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“Yes. Everything is fine. I need to- I need to try and call Elizabeth a moment.” She pressed speed dial and waited, her voice closing when it went through to voicemail. Not leaving a message, she instead sat back at Ruth’s side. “Where were we?”

Ruthie stared at her a minute before slowly picking up their dropped conversation. “You said Elizabeth had said she regretted she couldn’t ask you to marry her.”

“Ah, yes.” Her heart clenched. “I didn’t know how to respond to that.”

“Well, you have been together years. And it sounds like they both love you and you love each of them. I can understand wanting to make it official. Permanent. Is she could ask, what would you say?”

“I-” An hour ago, Nadine was certain she would have said it was absurd, but now, with the sinking weight of a possibly of never seeing Elizabeth again, or Henry for that matter, that loss hurt more than the fear of dying entirely. She wasn’t afraid to die, she was afraid to die away from them, without telling them she loved them one last time. “I think I need to try and call her again.” Nadine excused herself and found an empty family room, dialing the familiar number yet again. “It’s- it’s me… Liz. Hopefully you get this soon.” She swallowed. “I know… I know. And I wanted to make sure I said I love you… I love you and I regret that you can’t ask so I could say yes. I wish you could ask me… Maybe, maybe tomorrow this will all be a bad dream and you can and- and if you do, I will say yes and say we’ll work out the details later, but… But if it’s not. If this is the last thing I tell you and you get to hear it…” She drew a shuddered breath. “In my heart, Elizabeth, this is my commitment. To you. To both of you. This-” Her voice broke as a tear leaked down her cheek. Glancing around to be certain she was still alone in the small room despite the fact she’d pulled the door shut, Nadine did her best to keep the sound of tears out of her voice, just in case. If things really were in play, then Elizabeth didn’t need to be worried about her on top of everything else. “This is me saying that even though you can’t ask and it can never be official, I’m still taking that leap with you. This is my yes. I love you… I love you and Henry and the kids… Please hug and kiss them all for me… Bye.” She ended the call and then sank into a chair and wept.

=MS=

She hadn’t been able to concentrate all afternoon, her eyes drifting constantly to her silent phone. There was nothing on the news, but then there wouldn’t be. They would avoid inciting panic, she knew that. Anything to avoid the nation feeling like she did now.

“Sis?”

Nadine blinked at her sister. “Sorry?”

“What happened?”

“I- I can’t tell you. I’m not even supposed to know.”

“…But you do.”

She drew a careful breath. “Sadly.”

“Is Elizabeth okay?”

“From what I heard, yes. She’s- she’s in no more danger than anyone else is.” She’d spent years reading detailed report of the expected fallout of this. She’d memorized line and verse of what to expect when she was sent to live at Mount Weather, what the world would look like after, she couldn’t just un-know that after retirement. Would Elizabeth end up taken by force to save her life? To protect her for the running of the country and world? Would Elizabeth be able to identify her body.”

“You should go back.”

“Hm?”

Ruthie was frowning now. “I’m fine, Nay. Something is on your mind; you should go home.”

“It won’t- it won’t make a difference… It’s too late.”

“What’s too late?”

Nadine shook her head. “I’d rather stay here with you is all. It’s late, I just need rest.”

“If you’re sure.”

“I am. I want to be here with you Ruthie.” She reached for her hand again. “Right here.”


	30. Chapter 30

The phone call was never discussed. Nadine had all but put it out of her mind in the two months that followed the weekend she thought she’d never see Elizabeth or Henry again. The months that followed the day and a half they took to reunite once her flight had landed, only leaving her condo when it was an utmost imperative. The rest of their hours had passed naked, sweaty, and either rising the crest of or coming down from an orgasm. They hadn’t mentioned the voicemail, but their mixed pleasure had left little room for much other communication.

She had barely been able to walk at all for two days after and had cringed at the notable limp from hip pain for a week beyond that. It had finally forced her to take measures she hadn’t considered in some time to manage it.

Instead of talking about the voicemail, she listened alongside Henry as Elizabeth railed on about getting off Hair Trigger, she helped him hold her through a resurgence in panic attacks and took meals with her in shifts, those had been organized and constantly coordinated by the always attentive Blake, getting her out of the office on a regular basis so she didn’t fall apart there.

Once the treaty was ratified, she thought it was a start to returning to normal. A call from Elizabeth asking her to meet up with she and Henry at the Lincoln Memorial had her curious. As the sun set, Nadine climbed the steps, taking in the view as she spied Elizabeth and her ever present group of agents walking across the open plaza. Once they were close, Matt greeted her with a nod and smile before taking his place to one side.

“Henry’s almost here.” Elizabeth looped their arms together and walked with Nadine up the steps and took a seat. “It is beautiful here.”

“It is.”

“It feels like I appreciate the little things more now, you know?” She paused and Nadine nodded. “I find myself enjoying even the small moments with the kids. Seeing Stevie so in love and happy. Ali thriving at college.” She bumped their shoulders together. “Spending time with you.”

Henry climbed the steps and took a seat on Elizabeth’s other side. “What’s this about?”

“Closure, I think.” Elizabeth looked his way. “We got this major thing done and… it got me thinking about things. About making sure the world is still here and safe for our children, grandchildren. I-” She looked between them. “When the time comes, I’m going to run for president.”

They both paused before answering almost in unison. “I know.”

She laughed. “I’m always the last one to know these things… There’s more I want to discuss, but it needs to be in private.”

Henry reached out and took her hand. “Are you sure?”

Elizabeth nodded. “I’ve never been more sure of almost anything, Henry.” She reached out and held Nadine’s hand for a moment. “I hope you can stay tonight?”

“Of course.”

They sat together for a while longer on the steps before slowly finding their way to Georgetown. By the time they got there, the house was unusually silent. Nadine had grown accustomed over the last two months to having the McCord kids at home much more often as well as Blake, who Stevie dragged along as well. Tonight, they all were out.

“Have a seat in the living room.” Elizabeth encouraged once they were inside. “I’ll be right back.”

Henry headed for the pantry. “I’ll get the glasses and bottle.”

Alone, Nadine waited, surprised when Henry appeared with champagne and then Elizabeth returned with a white box in her hand.

They sat, one either side of her, Henry placing the glasses and bottle on the table as Elizabeth spoke. “We got your voicemail, Nadine. I explained to Henry why you said what you said and… we talked about it.” She placed the box in Nadine’s lap. “We talked with each of the kids as well and- and they agreed to what we wanted to do.” Henry nudged the box while she spoke. “We want to commit to you. We want to commit to all those things we committed to one another when we got married three decades ago.”

Nadine opened the box. Inside was a ring with three different color stones set in it.

Henry reached in, tugging the ring free. “That’s Elizabeth and I and then you in the middle.” He explained the row of stones before slipping it on her finger. “We hope the answer is still yes, but even if it isn’t, we agreed we still want what you can give.”

Elizabeth took her other hand. “We know it won’t be conventional, or traditional, and we know it will mean a lot of secrecy. But we want to make a real commitment so you don’t ever worry about where you stand with us. So… will you marry us?”

It’d been four months. Four months since Elizabeth had admitted she wanted to ask as they had laid on the bed upstairs. Four months of her wondering if she could really say yes to this relationship that shouldn’t exist for so many reasons. Four months of worrying that it could destroy Elizabeth’s career.

Destroy them all.

But in those months, she’d discovered that when her worst fears were played out, it was them she wanted. Them she longed to have close. Them, more than anyone else in the world, that she feared she would never see again. Yes could destroy them, but no would destroy her. It was a risk. A leap. But a leap of faith was taken better when you had a hand to hold.

Taking their hands in hers, Nadine looked between them. “Yes. I’d love to.”

=MS=

Nadine was stretched out on what had long ago become she and Elizabeth’s side of the bed. They alternated who got the middle without a whole lot of discussion. Laying on her stomach naked in the sheets, she cracked her eyes open to watch the way Elizabeth was riding Henry. She never got tired of watching them. She loved the little sounds they made, they way they both knew just what the other needed to move closer to their end. When they both came, she savored the overwhelming feeling of want and love that filled the room.

When Elizabeth slid onto the mattress in the middle, Nadine finally shifted, pulling her close and touching her everywhere. She was too spent and sore from both of them earlier in the evening still, but Nadine liked being able to hold Elizabeth close. “Was it good, My Love?”

Liz gave a small laugh. “You know it was. You like watching when I’m on top.”

“I like watching when you’re in any position.” Nadine crashed their lips together for a kiss. “I like watching you having sex almost as much as I like having sex with you.” This time the kiss was a simple peck. “Want me to wash you up?”

“No, that’s okay. I’m going to go shower.” After a beat, she began to crawl out from between them. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, Darling.”

Nadine laughed. “I’m too worn out to do anything, even if you would do it.” She wasn’t surprised when Elizabeth leaned over the bed and kissed her again. “Go wash up, I’ll be here keeping the bed warm.”

Once the bathroom door was pushed mostly shut, Henry rolled over, nuzzling along her jaw before pushing the covers down and finding her breasts. The assault was languid, both were too spent for it to go much of anywhere, but it still felt good anyway. “I want us to go away on a vacation.” Henry looked up at her from her chest. “I want to have a honeymoon with you.”

“A honeymoon?”

He nodded. “It’ll be unconventional, but it’s still a nice start to this phase of things. Think about it, a week in a hotel suite just the three of us. Elizabeth and I can do our best to keep you from ever needing to get out of bed.” His hands roamed her body. “Once she announces her run for president, all our lives are going to change drastically. I want to enjoy this life as much as I can before that happens.” He peppered her skin with kisses. “And I think you deserve to be worshipped.”

“Okay. We’ll talk about it with Liz. A honeymoon, the three of us.”

=MS=

Sore from the night before and wearing nothing but Elizabeth’s cotton robe and the ring they’d given her, Nadine crept down to the kitchen to start coffee. Enjoying the early morning peace, she let her mind wander, dreaming of a world where they would be able to have it all. Where she could maybe even move in with them without causing an international incident.

“Morning.” The voice was soft, rough.

Nadine gave a nod in response, pulling two mugs from the cabinet. “Morning.”

Blake dragged a chair away from the table and sank into it with a jaw-cracking yawn.

“Late night?” When he flushed red, she chuckled. “How are things going with you and Stevie?”

That made him pause and stare a moment. He seemed to decide something before fetching his satchel, giving another look up the stairs to be sure, and then pulling out a ring box, placing it gingerly in Nadine’s hand. “I bought this a few weeks ago, right after I learned about the whole nuclear war thing.”

Nadine opened the lip and gasped. “It’s beautiful, Blake.” After a moment, she shut the lid and passed it back to him to be hidden away again. “When are you going to ask?”

“I don’t know.”

Filling the mugs with coffee, she held his out, watching as he took it and then hesitated before taking her hand. “This is new.” His eyes were on the ring.

It was her turn to blush. “It’s an engagement bad of sorts.”

She watched as his face lit up. “Congratulations.”

“Thank you.”

“I know it won’t be official, but it will be here.” He tapped his chest over his heart. “I was looking forward to having Elizabeth as my mother-in-law, but with this- I will be so happy having you as one as well.”

His words made her laugh. “Don’t get ahead of yourself yet, Blake. You still have to ask, and she still has to say yes.”

His grin turned cheeky. “When has any McCord been able to turn me down?”


	31. Chapter 31

Alone in the house, Nadine searched under the bathroom sink for some cleaning supplies. Things had been busier than even their normal since Russell and Mike had dug out of Elizabeth that she was in fact going to run in the next election and so to help keep things running, Nadine had decided to pitch in around the house. Coming up empty, she headed down to the shared bathroom on the second floor in hopes of striking soapy gold under the sink in there.

Stretching to the very back of the cabinet, Nadine jumped a bit when a small purple box that had been wedged in the side, out of view, toppled out and to the floor, making her bang her head on the cabinet frame. Scooting back, she rubbed her head with one hand and reached for the box with the other to toss it back in, freezing when she realized what it was.

A pregnancy test.

More specifically, a box of two pregnancy tests… with only one inside.

Looking around, Nadine re-hid the box and peered in the trashcan. Sure enough, a familiar plastic stick was down near the bottom of the bag. Debating as to whether snooping was a good idea or not, Nadine convinced herself that maybe it wouldn’t count as snooping if she could see the little digital screen without actually touching it. Then it would be simply a case of accidentally seeing it instead of snooping.

Swallowing, Nadine twisted and, sure enough, the test was in with the digital screen face up.

Alison was spending the summer in New York and hadn’t been home in weeks, as far as she knew Jason wasn’t seeing anyone and she knew it wasn’t going to belong to herself or Elizabeth.

Standing upright, Nadine abandoned the idea of cleaning and went downstairs to think just as the agents who normally stood on the sidewalk out front burst through the door, making her gasp in surprise. “What’s going on?”

“The White House is under attack, Ma’am.”

“What?!”

The agent seemed to be listening through his earpiece. “The Secretary is being moved to a secure location; agents have been sent to collect Doctor McCord.” He began rushing her through getting her things. “We’ll take you as well.”

“Wait, why?” It didn’t make sense, she wasn’t family.

He shook his head. “We need to make a move. It’s unclear yet if there are other targets.”

Nadine let them shepherd her into the SUVs before she asked anything further. “Stevie works for Russell Jackson. Is she okay? Do we have any information on her?”

“Nothing yet, Ma’am.”

Sinking back into her seat, Nadine swallowed back the rising tide of fear.

=MS=

They had rerouted to the hospital when the agents up front had gotten word of Stevie’s condition, arriving ahead of Henry to find a distraught Russell pacing the hall. “Hey!”

He looked up in surprise and it took her a moment to remember that Russell had no idea why she might show up at all. “Nadine!”

“I heard. I was- It’s a long story, but… Is everyone okay?” She listened as he rattled off anyone he thought she might know. She so desperately wanted to ask specifically about Stevie, but didn’t want to raise suspicions, so she waited until he said her name. “Is she here alone?”

“Uh, yes. Bess is at the remote command center and I think Henry’s on his way. She, uh, she lost a lot of blood.”

“You saw her?”

“I rode in with her. I was with her just after the blast. She hasn’t woken up since, they’re prepping her for surgery now.”

“Could I- Could I see her first? Will they let me back there? Just in case, she should hear someone’s voice that maybe she recognizes before going back.” It was a poor lie, but in Russell’s condition, she really hoped he wouldn’t press, and he seemed not to as he nodded.

“Down this way.”

Stepping into the small room, Nadine stared for a moment at Stevie’s pale form. A nurse bustled in, sidestepping her as the door shut again. “Excuse me?”

“Yes, Ma’am?” The nurse barely glanced her way.

“Will you be… Is it standard procedure to do a pregnancy test before surgery?”

That caught the nurse’s attention. “Is there reason to believe she is?”

Nadine nodded. “I think so. It’s not… It’s just a suspicion. Please don’t say anything, especially to her. I don’t want her to know I suspected.”

She watched as the nurse’s eyes ran over Stevie. “I will make a note it should be considered.”

“Thank you.” Nadine slipped out of the room, finding a place to wait for word on Stevie or the situation. Desperate to be doing something when there was nothing to do, she began twirling the ring on her finger. This- _this_ was what she’d signed up for with that ring. This was what she wanted, even if it hurt so much. Her relationship with Roman failed to revive time and again, but she found herself loving Elizabeth’s kids just as much. She was proud of who Stevie’d become, the life she was starting. She was filled with eager anticipation over the future Stevie and Blake should have…

Nadine froze, a brief image of another ring in a box flashing through her mind.

Blake…

Gathering her things, Nadine found a place to dial his line to give him the tiny update she had, certain that no one else would be considering giving him any news right now.

=MS=

Nadine sat in the now deserted waiting area staring blankly into space. Stevie was out of surgery, her parents with her, and Nadine was waiting until she could be of some help.

“Ma’am?”

She looked up, finding the nurse from hours earlier smiling sadly at her. “Yes?”

“You asked me a question earlier…”

Nadine nodded.

“Miss McCord may need someone to talk to during her recovery. She’s been through a great trauma and… facing a double tragedy takes time to get through.”

Her face fell as the nurse’s words began to make sense. “So… she _was_.” She sought affirmation in the woman’s eyes even as she knew that technically she couldn’t answer. “I- I’ll make sure she knows she can talk through anything she needs to.”

The nurse nodded and left, leaving Nadine to roll that over in her mind. A loss on top of such a tragedy. It made her heart ache for Stevie. When Henry and Elizabeth finally turned up, Nadine rose. “I’m going to stop in and say goodbye to Stevie.” She excused herself, shutting the door so they were alone. “How are you?”

Stevie gave her a weak smile. “In pain.” Her eyes welled up. “Scared.”

She took her hand. “I know.” She drew a breath. “Stevie… This morning I- I thought I would pitch in and clean the bathrooms but I needed supplies and went into the bathroom on the second floor.” She stared, praying Stevie followed along.

It seemed she did as her free hand moved to shield her stomach as tear tracked down her cheeks. “So, you know…”

“Yes.”

“It’s gone…” It came out as a whisper.

“I know, Stevie. And I’m terribly sorry.” Nadine stepped closer and gave her a gentle hug. “You can talk to me about anything. Any time.”

“Thank you.”

After another minute, Nadine moved to the door but paused. “Stevie?” When she looked up, she gave her a gentle smile. “Did Blake know?”

Stevie shook her head. “Not yet.” She sniffled. “I only found out for sure this morning. A- a few hours and then just…gone. I spent my morning so worried about how to tell him and then- now he’ll never know.” She looked up at Nadine. “Do you- do you think he would’ve been happy?”

Her mind went to that box again, the one she knew Blake kept with him at all times. “Yes. I think he would’ve been happy. You- you should still tell him. He deserves to know.”

=MS=

Nadine was sitting up on the far side of the bed when Elizabeth stopped in the doorway. They’d only brought Stevie home from the hospital that morning. “She’s asking for you.”

She paused from reading a moment. “Oh.” Putting the book aside, she climbed off the bed and moved toward the door.

“She’s in her room.” She caught Nadine’s hand, stopping her. “Thank you for being here. For all of us.”

Leaning in, she kissed Elizabeth quickly. “For better or worse, right? Sickness, health, and nutjobs with rocket launchers.” When that succeeded in making Elizabeth laugh, she smiled. “The doctor said she’ll make a full recovery. She takes after her parents and is strong.”

She watched as fresh tears welled in Elizabeth’s eyes. It had become a common sight since the bombing. “My baby…” Her voice was barely a cracked whisper.

“I know.” Nadine hugged her before pulling away. “Let me go see what she wants.”

“Okay.”

Walking down a flight, Nadine paused in Stevie’s doorway. “Your mom said you asked for me?”

Stevie nodded. “Could you… could you shut the door?”

“Of course.” She did and then took a seat in the chair. “What’s up?”

“I-” Her voice cracked. “How do I get through this? How do I- Why does this hurt so much when I only even knew about it for part of a day?”

“There’s a quote-” She gave a small smile when Stevie reacted as she always did with Henry’s quotes. “The most painful state of being is remembering the future.” She took her hand. “You have to let yourself mourn the loss of what you thought you were going to have. Even if it was for a moment. You haven’t told anyone else yet?”

Stevie shook her head. “It hurts.”

“I know. And that pain isn’t going to go away anytime soon, unfortunately, but holding it in will only make it hurt worse.” When Stevie started to cry, Nadine moved from the chair to the bed, pulling her into a hug and pressing a kiss on her head. “I promise it won’t hurt forever though.” She stayed holding her until the crying subsided. “Why don’t you start by telling your mom?” When someone moved in the doorway, Nadine looked up, not at all surprised to find Blake staring in concern at his girlfriend. “I’ll leave you two to talk.” She pulled away, moving to the door as he took the place she’d been sitting.

“Nadine?”

She turned back at Stevie’s voice.

“I- I will. Just…” Her gaze shifted quickly to Blake and back again. “Give me a bit?”

“Of course.” She pulled the bedroom door shut, giving them privacy as she returned upstairs. Quietly, she scooted into Elizabeth’s side, holding her close.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah… Blake’s sitting with her now. They’re talking.” She tipped her head back, studying Elizabeth. “Sometimes it’s hard to express the sorrow that fills your heart.”

Elizabeth wrapped an arm around her. “I am so thankful she didn’t die. I’m not sure… I’m not sure I could have kept going if she had in that blast.”

“You would have. It might have taken time, but you would have doubled down to save our country.”

“Thank you for humoring her when she asks for you.”

That made her give a slight smile. “It’s not humoring her, I’m thankful she feels comfortable enough to consider me. I was thinking… I know Henry’s planning a secret trip that he keeps referring to as our honeymoon. What would you think- what would you think about writing vows? I know it can’t be official, but I thought maybe, just between the three of us, we could do a few of the more traditional things. This- This has made me realize how much I want you to really understand how I feel and I’m- I’m not usually very good at saying it.”

“We could write vows. We could do whatever you wanted. Think of the traditions you’d want to include and we’ll think of something… Maybe on our first day on the trip? We could get dressed up and just the three of us have a ceremony in the room. What do you think?”

“I think we should run it past Henry.”

A soft knock on the doorframe made them both turn, finding Blake standing there. Nadine didn’t miss his red-rimmed eyes. “Stevie asked to speak with you.”

Elizabeth stood, heading for her daughter, while Nadine paused at his side, pulling him into a hug. “I’m so sorry.” She pulled back enough to look him in the eye. “I know it hurts, but you have all of us here for both of you.”

“Thank you. I- I don’t even know what to think or to- to feel. I was already so worried about Stevie and now… I could have been a…” He trailed off.

“You’ll have it one day.”


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Due to size, this will be in parts.

The master bedroom was a maze of suitcases that she and Elizabeth were picking their way through as they moved from closet to dressers and back to the cases again. “You know, I didn’t realize just how much of my belongings simply were mixed in here with yours until I tried to pack.”

“Seems almost silly to keep your condo across town, doesn’t it?”

Nadine turned, trying to work out if she was serious. “I have to at least keep up appearances.” She turned back, ducking back into the closet. “I have to have somewhere to duck away to when you have things happening here.”

She heard Elizabeth sigh. “I know… I hate it though.” When Nadine stepped out with another handful of hangers, Elizabeth was sitting on the bed. “You’re here more nights than you’re not. I mean, we’re closer to the college and everything. I- I’m sure we could spin it somehow that makes sense. You’re a single woman who lives alone, at this point I have Alison away at college and Stevie practically lives with Blake now. Jason is off to college in the fall. I am less than a year away from an empty house.”

“You’ve really thought about this.”

She nodded. “I have. Life is moving on, the kids are growing up. Next is weddings and grandbabies.” She put her hands out, waiting for Nadine to pick her way between suitcases to her side. “And I want you with us for all of those things.”

“I know you do.” She dropped the clothes on the bed and rested her knee beside Elizabeth, tipping her onto her back, landing on her with a giggle. “I want to be with you too.”

“But?”

“I am not about to tank you getting elected. It’s not forever, you’ll live.” When Elizabeth pouted, she chuckled again. “We’ll live. One step at a time.”

She huffed. “Fine.”

“Good?”

“Good.”

Nadine kissed her and stood again, gathering her things, holding up two shirts. “Red or black?”

“Black. And that lace camisole under it.” When Nadine looked up, she was grinning. “Whatever your choices are, make it all things you wouldn’t wear a bra under… save the packing space.”

That made her laugh. “You mean save you and Henry time undressing me.”

“That too… So, you’re really not going to let me see the dress you picked out?”

They’d discussed the dresses for their private in-room ceremony, but Nadine had jumped on the notion of sharing their choices before the event as bad luck. “No, I’m not. I know it seems silly, but I want it to be special, even if it’s just the three of us.”

“Fine. You know, this means now you have to share in the suffering of Henry and religious sites, right?”

“I know. Don’t you remember how exciting that was when the two of you were newlyweds?”

“…Vaguely.”

“I’ve already looked up what sites and things there are around where we’re staying. There are only five missions close by and I can assure you he will not be spending entire days wandering them.”

“How can you be so sure? I’ve watched him stare at a single stained glass window for _two hours_.”

Nadine flashed her a grin. “I have my ways.”

=MS=

“I’m not a baby, Mom, I don’t need Stevie here to look after me.” Jason complained as they readied to leave. “I’m practically an adult.”

“And, you will have two other adults here to keep you from being lonely.” Elizabeth replied.

“Wait, two?”

“Stevie and Blake are both going to stay.”

“Really? You know what they’ll be up to the whole time, right? I mean, does he really have to go everywhere with her?”

Elizabeth chuckled. “One day, Jason, you too will be in love and you’ll get it. So, be good and be nice to them please.”

“Fine!” He huffed, leaving the kitchen.

When Elizabeth turned to face her, Nadine laughed. “They’ll be fine. It’ll all be fine. And you won’t have to worry about the office, Jay and the others will have Cushing and everyone else kept under control.”

“You mean like you and Jay had everything under control when Texas tried to secede?” She teased.

“That was… unfortunate. But we will be _in_ Texas this time and I really don’t see any of the other states trying that.” She pulled Elizabeth close.

“Florida maybe.” Her comment made them both laugh. “Okay. Half day and then I’ll be back and we’ll finish loading up and go.”

“Don’t be late.”

“You know there’s no risk of that. I have been informed I am getting escorted home so I don’t wander off somewhere… Those were his exact words. Also, I made a request for the detail I know already know about us, I thought that might be better. Henry is wrapping up his classes this morning, he’ll be home at about the same time I am.”

“I have two this morning to teach and then a TA is covering next week. The college tried to use me taking a week off as leverage to get me to teach an additional two classes next semester.”

“They like you. You’re a good teacher.”

“Apparently they’ve been inundated with requests for my classes already.”

“See. And what’s not to love.” She pecked a kiss to her lips. “You’re brilliant, funny, sexy.”

That made Nadine laugh. “That’s not exactly relevant to teaching.”

“Okay, clearly you don’t know. Remind me later to show you the rating site that, yes, includes chili peppers for hotness.”

“I’m three times their age!”

“That so doesn’t matter.”

“Oh my god.”

Elizabeth kissed her again. “Go, teach, have a good day.”

Nadine looked down at what she was wearing. “I’m going to go change first.”

“Into?”

She was already headed for the stairs. “… A burka?”

Nadine was most of the way up when she heard Elizabeth’s laugher calm enough that she could call out again. “You’d still be sexy as hell!”

=MS=

Nadine carried the last bag down to the door where Henry was loading the SUV with the help of one of the agents. Through the open doorway, she could hear voices and stepped out to greet whoever it was.

“Is this the last one?” Henry asked.

“Yes. Thank you.” She shifted her attention as Blake walked toward her. “I see you managed to get her back on time.”

He rolled his eyes. “I swear, it never gets any easier.” He held out a box to her. “It’s- it’s for all of you, but you’ll understand the significance more.”

“Oh! Thank you.” She looked around, seeing that the others were already finishing up. “Let’s go in.” Leading the way beck into the house, she placed it on one of the desks, taking a moment to look him over. “How are you doing?”

He paused a moment. “Most of the time I’m fine and then randomly I remember and it just knocks the wind out of me again. Stevie’s doing a lot better now and… I’m still waiting for the right moment, but now- now I keep dreaming about being a father.”

“Don’t worry about there being some magical right moment. For any of it. Don’t put your dreams on hold waiting for that.”

“But- the campaign will be coming up.” He glanced around to be sure they were still alone. “Elizabeth hardly needs Stevie and I getting married to be news, especially as I work for her. And- and I plan on being on the campaign trail with her, Stevie being pregnant or having a new baby while I’m away… that wouldn’t be right.”

“I get it, I really do, Blake. But you really can’t put your life on hold for all that. Trust me.” She waved around at the house they were standing in. “I worry about many of the same types of things. Will furthering this relationship ruin her chances? What if people find out? They’ve both outright suggested I simply move in, but… I’m not in the same place in life as you. Me waiting a year or two isn’t as much of a big deal. But getting married? Starting a family? Those are big things.”

“I- I know.” Henry and Elizabeth finally stepping in the room ended the conversation.

Nadine worked open the plain cream colored paper and then lifted the lid off the box, laughing at what she saw first- handfuls of small candies. “Oh, Blake.”

“Keep going.”

Beneath the candies, she found a pair of beautiful, short candlesticks. “Oh, these are beautiful.” She turned to Henry and the Elizabeth. “They are Shabbat candlesticks. I’ve- I had a very plain pair, but… This is… Can I go put them on the table before we leave?”

“Of course.” Henry grinned at her.

Feeling almost giddy with excitement, she pulled both free of the packaging and rushed into the dining room, carefully moving the tall candlesticks to the buffet and gingerly placing the short ones on the table. Tugging her upper lip between her teeth, Nadine looked around before opening a drawer and finding fresh candles, pressing them into the bases. Pleased with the result, she turned back to where the three of them had trailed to the doorway, smiling at the way her eyes shined with the excitement she felt.

It was Henry who spoke up first. “We’ll start using them as soon as we get back. You can share with us all of the traditions.” He put one hand out, waiting until she was close enough to pull into his side. “What’s ours is yours and what’s yours is ours.” He leaned down and kissed her. “Is that it then? We do have a flight to catch.” His question made them all laugh as he pulled away and started for the door.

Nadine paused again when Elizabeth caught her this time, kissing her sweetly. “You look so happy, Darling.”

“I am happy.”

=MS=

On the plane, the three of them spread out, enjoying the space afforded them. Sworn away from working all around, Nadine had a book propped on her knees while Henry looked to be making notes on something and Elizabeth was surfing the website she’d mentioned that morning, reading off student reviews Nadine.

“Wait…” Elizabeth paused her laughing to read a moment. “This one gave you all the peppers and says ‘you think she’s hot now, you should watch the video’… What video?” She looked up at Nadine.

“I have no idea what video. I mean- I’ve been in hundreds of press pieces over my tenure. But none of that would be very interesting I would think.”

She watched as Elizabeth scrolled a moment. “Oh! Someone else asked what video. There’s a link, it’s… hold on. It’s a youtube link. This is… When did you start working for Marsh?”

“I-” She had to think. “After law school. I worked for him since he was a junior senator.” She couldn’t miss the grin that began to blossom on Elizabeth’s face, nor the sudden interest Henry seemed to be taking in their conversation. “What is this video?”

“It looks like some sort of fundraiser or talent show. The PREF wasn’t your first?”

“No. I’ve done a few in my time, mostly when I was much younger.” Her eyes suddenly went wide and her jaw dropped. “No!” She gasped, attempting to reach for the computer from where she was sitting. “That’s online?”

Elizabeth was grinning now. Slowly, her finger hovered over the mousepad.

“Please, don’t do it. That was over twenty years ago.” She watched Elizabeth’s lower a bit. “Oh my god, this is so embarrassing. And my students have seen this?”

“Apparently.”

Elizabeth’s finger tapped the pad and Nadine buried her face in her arms as her voice from two and a half decades ago filtered out of the small speakers.

She heard as Henry moved across the aisle. “Wow, Nadine… I didn’t realize you were this good.”

She didn’t need to see the video to know what they were seeing. Her mind remembered the lyrics, the notes, the moves as she’d walked across the stage and back. She knew exactly what it was that made them chuckle… and then gasp. It all felt like another lifetime now. A lifetime that apparently had been saved forever online.

When the song was over and it was only the roar of applause, Nadine finally looked up at them, waiting. Silence filled the cabin for a minute before she finally drew a breath. “I really didn’t know anyone saved that.”

That seemed to shake them out of their surprise as Elizabeth got that mischievous glint in her eyes. “I wonder what else there is.”

“Please don’t.”

“Hm… What was your stage name?”

“What?” She was shocked Elizabeth would even think to ask that.

“Your stage name. I’ll find it, but it would speed things along if you just told me.”

“Or, you could just not look.”

“And miss out on more video of you being so hot? I mean, I always knew you looked wonderful in a suit and all… but that was something else.”

She debated lying, but really, who was she kidding. Even if she didn’t give it up now, Elizabeth had plenty of ways of finding it out eventually. With a huff, she answered the question, shaking her head at the eagerness with which Elizabeth began searching.

=MS=

The gorgeous furnishings in the suite plus the amazing views she could already see off the terrace made Nadine feel suddenly nervous. They were really here, together, doing this. Leaving her bags to be dealt with later, she started exploring the open plan first floor and then the private terrace outside while she listened to Henry talk about the grocery delivery he was expecting shortly and plans for the evening. They were right on the Riverwalk. Nadine looked down at the water below, admiring the people carrying on with their lives, unaware of the monumental event that was about to take place up here, away from the rest of the world.

“I was thinking we could light the fire out here and do the vows here.”

Slowly, Nadine turned and looked at Henry. “That’d be nice. I- Did we get reservations for dinner?”

He nodded. “For downstairs, though… we can always make it room service if you wanted.”

“No… Downstairs sounds nice.” She looked back out over the city.

“Hey.” He crossed the terrace to her side, wrapping her in his arms. “Are you having second thoughts?”

“…No.” She drew a breath. “I’m ready. I just didn’t expect it to hit me so hard and fast is all. I’ve- I’ve had a lot of men swear their undying love to me in my life, many of them swore they’d marry me as soon as the time was right. None of them ever made me feel like you and Elizabeth do. Ruthie was right… I’ve always made horrible choices about the people I’ve let myself love.”

“You did good this time though, Sis.”

Nadine’s head whipped around so fast she nearly made herself dizzy. “Ruthie! What- what are you doing here?!”

Ruth laughed. “How could I ever miss my sister getting married?” She put her hand out. “Come on, I’m helping you get dressed.”

Nadine stepped toward her, looking back to find a pleased look on Henry’s face.

In the bedroom upstairs, Nadine undressed while Ruth gushed over the dress she’d picked out. “It’s not too much?”

“For getting married?”

She huffed. “It’s not official… or legal really… and I’m almost sixty.”

“It’s not too much. And what does the law know about love, hm? Look how many times they’ve gotten it wrong this far?” She gathered the dress once Nadine was ready, helping her pull it on and then closed the zipper. “How you even find things that make you look thinner than you already are, I’ll never know. Now… hair? Makeup?”

“I want to leave my hair down. They both like it down.”

“I noticed you’ve been letting it grow out.”

She smiled. “They like it longer too.” She reached for the makeup case. “I was just going to touch up a bit.”

Ruth batted her hands away. “Let me. This is what I’m here for.” Once Nadine sat down, she began applying makeup. “Henry told me you’re going for dinner after. He invited me along so long as that’s fine with you.”

“It’s fine.”

“I fly back home tomorrow.” Once she was done, she pecked a kiss to her sister’s cheek. “I am also the unofficial photographer, photos to be secured and un-hackable, but memories saved… I heard that your bride to be is going to be our next president.”

That made her eyes pop open. “Where did you hear that?”

“A campaign ad online asking her to run. Does this mean you’ll be moving into the White House with them?”

“I’m not even moving into their house in Georgetown with them.”

“Why not?”

Nadine sighed. “I don’t want to ruin her chances of getting to be our next president.”

“I don’t think moving in would do that.” She put the makeup aside. “There, I think that’s perfect enough.” She handed her sister a mirror and then pulled her to her feet. “I love you, Nay. And I am so happy for you.”

Nadine felt herself blush. “I love you too.”

“Let me go see if they’re ready for you.”

Nadine watched her sister leave the room and then looked at herself in the full length mirror in the corner. This was it, for better or worse, she was promising to be joined to two other people for the rest of her future. Smoothing her hands over the soft fabric nervously, she wondered over how nervous she felt, she’d never felt this way before he first marriage and there’d never been such a moment with any of her other relationships…

“They’re ready for you, Sis.”

She turned, staring at Ruth a moment. “This is it.”

“Have everything you need?”

“Oh.” She looked around, finding the small notecard with the vows she’d written. “That’s it.” She stepped into the small hall outside the door and then followed her sister down the stairs. At the bottom, Ruth handed her a rose and then offered her arm.

“I’m walking you out.”

The terrace had been transformed in the short time she’d been upstairs. The fire was lit in the fireplace and there were flowers set out around it. In front of the hearth stood Henry in his nicest suit and Elizabeth in a red dress. Nadine felt herself choke up at the way they were looking at her and only her, as if nothing else in the world mattered to them. Ruth walked her across the terrace and then backed away, leaving her at their sides.

For a moment, the terrace was quiet except for the crackling fire. Nadine wasn’t sure what to expect to happen first, but then Elizabeth took her hands, bringing them closer together.

“I want to go first.” Elizabeth smiled. “Nadine… The first time I laid eyes on you I just… I couldn’t look away. It was more than just how beautiful you are; you have such spirit and I wanted to do anything I could to please you. To make you look at me and smile. I- I was so nervous at first. I’d never been that nervous with anyone else before except…” She looked to her husband. “Except Henry.” She gave Nadine’s hands a gentle squeeze. “Every time you chose to be with me, my heart soared. Then Henry pointed out how madly I’d fallen in love with you. I could never explain how happy I am to be standing here right now. I know things won’t be easy, but I’m all in and I’m not looking back. I love you.”

Nadine blinked back tears, swallowing away the lump in her throat. “I love you too.” She barely had time to calm the urge to cry when her hands were passed into Henry’s. She gave him a watery smile as he squeezed them comfortingly.

“Watching you and Elizabeth come together and create this bond… It made me see what people had commented on about she and I for our entire marriage. The love it there in the quiet moments; in the nights watching TV together or the mornings making breakfast. The way you instinctively reach for one another. And then… And then you started to love me. I didn’t know I could love anyone as much as I love Elizabeth. I’ve always been on the outside of whatever partner she’s had, if never been attached even though I’ve enjoys having them around. It was never like this. I worried at first. But now I see, it isn’t either or… You aren’t replacements for one another. You’re two parts that are wonderful and amazing on your own, but when you’re put together… It’s indescribable.” He dropped one of her hands and reached for Elizabeth. “The two of you are indescribable. And I am blessed and thankful that I get to have this in my life.”

The terrace went quiet again, and Nadine wasn’t sure how to start. Taking Elizabeth’s free hand, she cupped their hands together, clearing her throat and praying she wouldn’t start to cry.

“I have a bit of a confession to make… I wasn’t sure what to say to you both. I know- I know this was my idea, but when I sat down to write, I came up blank. I love you. Both of you. And that still terrifies me more than is reasonable. But I can’t imagine not being part of this, here with you. I can’t imagine living a life without the love you give, you and the kids. I can’t imagine how I ever lived without knowing how that felt. Elizabeth… that night you asked me to start a relationship with you, I was so certain that no was the right answer. I was only months out of a relationship where I’d been the secret other woman. And- and Henry… I couldn’t imagine there ever being a world where you would accept me as anything other than an interloper. I’m so thankful I was wrong.” She began to say more, but her voice caught. Instead, she simply shook her head and smiled at them both. “I love you both so much.”

It was Elizabeth who pulled her close first as Henry turned loose, cupping Nadine’s face as they kissed. Nadine rested her hands at Elizabeth’s waist, falling into the simple pleasure of kissing the woman she loved, standing on a terrace in the evening light. Their life, for a number of years to come anyway, would make moments like this rare, so she planned to treasure the ones they got.

Eventually, Elizabeth backed away, turning her and offering her hands to Henry, who copied his wife’s actions, pulling Nadine close and kissing her. When they broke apart, Nadine remembered their single audience and turned to where Ruth stood, hands folded together under her chin and wearing a giant smile as tears slipped down her cheeks.

“My sister is finally married!” Her laughter made them all laugh as well.

=MS=

Nadine almost wished she had told Henry that room service would be better, but sitting downstairs, even in the private room they’d been given away from everyone else, it felt bold. Silently she agreed with Ruthie, the legal side of the arrangement hardly matter, the law had a long and horrible history of getting love wrong. In her heart, the one place it mattered, she was seated here having dinner for the first time with her new husband and wife, her ever-supportive sister at her side.

Once the meal was done, Ruthie had pulled her aside to bid good night, as well as a cheeky god luck with a wink, before retiring to her own hotel, leaving Nadine to return to the suite with Henry and Elizabeth. The suite door closed, she turned to face them, knowing she was about to be happily exhausted tomorrow.


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> part 2

Henry took Nadine’s hand, leading her to the stairs. At the bottom, he cupped her cheek. “Go up and get comfortable, Darling. I’m going to clear up down here. Is there anything else you want tonight?”

“No.” She let him brush a kiss to her lips and then started up the steps, aware when Elizabeth followed a moment later.

“Did you get a look at this bed before?” Elizabeth ran her hand over the duvet before folding it back. “I can’t wait to climb in.”

“Me neither.” She tugged off her shoes and padded to the bathroom to wash the makeup off. “Do I get to ask what the plan is for tonight?”

When Elizabeth joined her at the other sink, she replied. “Tonight is just about loving one another. I did bring some new things to play with for the rest of the week.” She crossed the bathroom and teased along her stomach. “I do have plans to leave you so tired you can’t get up, but that can wait.”

“Sounds fun.”

“I hope it will be.”

They both looked up when Henry entered the bedroom. “I could just stare at the two of you all night.” When they moved to his side, he pulled them both close, kissing them. “I am the luckiest guy on earth.” He nudged them both in the direction of the bed. “As much as I love those dresses, I think it’s time to get rid of them.” As they moved away, he stripped his own suit off.

Nadine quickly found herself naked, watching them finish tossing their things aside as well. Something about the day made her want to cover herself, even though she knew it was a silly impulse. They’d taken her apart so many times now that they probably knew her body better than anyone else. Instead, she crawled up on the bed and stretched out, waiting for them to join her.

When Elizabeth crawled in, Nadine arranged her into the middle, kneeling over her stomach as she started kissing her senseless, her hands massaging her breasts. Slowly, she scooted backward, sucking a path to each of her nipples, working them into hard nubs, before finding her way between Liz’s legs. Adjusting her position, Nadine pressed her legs apart and kissed the soft flesh on either side before sucking on her clit, making her writhe on the bed. Not letting up, Nadine teased with her tongue before plunging in, relishing the way Liz cried out at the sudden intrusion. She was startled when Henry’s hands wrapped around her waist a moment, lifting her to her knees, legs spread slightly, before it was his fingers teasing at her slit. One thick finger pressed in and she ground her hips back, seeking more as he slowly fucked her. She was hyperaware of his other fingers against her thighs, of his other hand bracing against the top of her ass. It wasn’t enough. “More, Henry.” She breathed against Elizabeth’s clit. “I want to feel you tonight.”

“Not yet.” He rubbed small circles with his hand. “I promise, we’ll make love tonight.”

His words made warm want pulse around his finger as she ducked her face to resume what she’d been doing to Elizabeth. She could feel as Liz began to climb to her first orgasm and held her in place so she could work her over the end, pushing her to come against her tongue as Henry’s thumb found her clit, surprising an orgasm out of her as well.

Panting, Nadine sagged back as Henry’s hands now steadied her again around her waist, guiding her gently to the side and off Elizabeth.

“You rest a moment.” He kissed her. “I’ll keep Elizabeth busy and then we’re coming for you.”

She hummed in reply, arranging herself so she would be able to watch. She freely admitted, both Elizabeth and Henry were beautiful people, and they were beautiful making love to one another. Even better than all their raw beauty, they let her touch as much as she wanted while they did so, never bothered or turned off by the way she followed her impulses.

Henry situated himself over Elizabeth, lining his prick up and then easing into her already soaked folds. Nadine watched as he pulled back and then sank in again. She could watch them for hours, the way his dick vanished inside and the appeared again. Normally, she’d lay beside them and stroke herself, unashamed of getting herself off to the sight of them, but tonight- Tonight she decided to wait. One or both of them would take care of her later. Adjusting again, Nadine found Elizabeth’s breast and toyed with it, sucking until she was arching into her mouth. Almost experimentally, she stroked down the planes of her stomach, teaching along her clit again before spreading two fingers so Henry’s cock stroked between them. Her mouth watered, wanting a taste, so she curled a finger, pressing in below his prick, making Elizabeth gasp at the added fullness for a moment before pulling away and sucking her finger clean. Two pairs of eyes were on her face as she did.

“Do it again.” Liz directed. “Help us both get off, Darling. Be there with us.”

She shimmied closer, pressing her middle finger in under Henry’s cock again, stroking first in counter point and then in rhythm with him, adding her thumb to Elizabeth’s clit. She wasn’t surprised when Liz’s hand found her folds as well. Nadine’s focus stayed un her hand, on the way it felt to feel as Henry got close, the vicelike way Liz’s walls fluttered.

They were both so close now she could feel it. Really feel it. “Let me feel you come.”

Arching together, Nadine rode along as Elizabeth came first and then fell into the feeling of Henry’s prick pulsing against her finger. The way Elizabeth was suddenly so full of their mixed come pushed her closer to coming again herself. All it took was Elizabeth’s thumb making one finally circle of her clit and she came right alongside them.

She wanted to luxuriate in the euphoric feeling of it, but there was something she desperately wanted more. Forcing herself to her knees, Nadine nudged Henry to the side, freeing him from his wife’s- _their wife’s_ , which sent another surge of heat through her core- folds. His now-flaccid cock was still on Elizabeth’s hip as she dove in, tasting them both mixed together. Savoring the flavor as she ate Liz out, driving her quickly to a third orgasm. She was still lapping at her like it was the last chance at sustenance in a desert when Elizabeth tried to push her back, desperate to be done for a moment.

Crawling up her body, Nadine kissed her hungrily instead. “Taste both of you together.”

Elizabeth chuckled. “I love when you get like this. So fierce and ferocious. My wild one that we need to tame.” She tangled a hand in Nadine’s hair. “I love that about you, you know. I love that we get to see this secret wild side of you, so eager to please and desperate to be pleased.” Pulling her close, Elizabeth rolled them over so Nadine was below her. “But now it’s my turn to make you fall apart.”

Feeling greedy, Nadine pulled Elizabeth into another kiss, holding her there as long as she could. In her opinion, it was all too soon that Liz was leaving bites down her body, marking her nicely, she’d feel them for days. When she reached Nadine’s folds though, it wasn’t just her tongue she attacked her with, she buried three fingers in her, making her arch and gasp, gripping the sheets on either side of her.

The bed shifted and Nadine felt Henry’s hands on her legs, her thighs, and then one knee was being pushed up to her chest, giving Liz the space to begin working her to yet another orgasm quickly, making her cry out. No sooner was she coming hot and hard than Elizabeth was pulling away, leaving her desperately clenching around nothing, bringing tears to her eyes, then Henry was burying himself in her, fucking her hard, keeping her knee between them. “Henry!” She was so sensitive now.

“You can take it, Darling. You can come one more time. Show me how good you are.” A thumb began pressing her clit and she had no idea now who it belonged to. “One more for me, Darling. Show me… Show me just how much you love us. Show us how happy you are to be married to us. My wife. Elizabeth’s wife. Have you said it out loud?”

She had to dig down deep to remember how to make her voice work. “No.”

“Say it for us. Tell us what you are. You’re my wife.”

Nadine gasped, forcing her brain and mouth to play along. “I’m your wife.”

“You’re Elizabeth’s wife.”

“I’m-” Her walls fluttered and she lost her train of thought a moment. “I’m Elizabeth’s wife.”

She cracked her eyes open enough to catch the pleased grin on his face. He hummed as if considering something. “Nadine Tolliver- McCord.” He slammed into her harder, making her buck up. “Maybe one day, just Nadine McCord.” He collapsed down onto her, rutting faster. “I can feel what that just did to you. You’re so wet, did you like the sound of that? One day we could make you Nadine McCord. Will you come for me then?”

The thumb pressed again and she was breaking apart, coming loud enough she was certain she heard her voice echo against the walls. Henry was still fucking her hard, carrying her through her orgasm before coming as well. When he sagged into her, she held him tight, reveling for a moment in the weight of him. They were always so careful not to crush her, even when she tried to assure them both she wouldn’t break.

After several minutes, Elizabeth was pushing Henry to the side and tugging Nadine close. “Look at you.” She cooed, brushing over the marks on her body. “I didn’t mean for us to get so rough tonight.”

“It was good.” When she opened her eyes, giggling, she saw Liz giggle as well. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Darling.” She gave her a gentle kiss. “Was today all you hoped it would be?” She carded her fingers through Nadine’s hair. “We just wanted you to be happy.”

“I am so happy.” She cuddled into her arms. “How could I not be? I get to be the wife of the most wonderful woman in the world.”

Across the bed, Henry grunted sleepily, making her laugh.

“And a pretty good man as well.”

With a laugh, he pushed up, reaching for both of them. “That’s it!” He teased them, tickling a bit before rolling off the bed. “You two go get washed up. There’s a massive bathtub in there, maybe you could both soak in there.”

Exchanging a look, Nadine and Elizabeth both grinned before climbing off the bed to find out.


	34. Chapter 34

Covered in a long-sleeved blouse and trousers, Nadine watched as Henry took in the mission from behind a large hat and dark glasses. She’d understood when Elizabeth had warned her how Henry could get about these sites and she did enjoy seeing him so happy, what she hadn’t planned on was the constant ache in her hip from the way he’d pushed her leg up the night before. That, plus the oppressive heat, was leaving her a bit short on tolerance for the way he ambled almost aimlessly around the site, occasionally spouting into some lecture about the history of religion in this part of the continent.

Focusing hard on not limping, Nadine wandered to the next small room, feigning interest in the displays mounted on the walls. She wanted to reach out for Elizabeth, or Henry even, but they were in public. Anyone might recognize Elizabeth or Henry and they’d agreed it would bring up questions they didn’t want asked. Though…

Nadine glanced around, wondering if she couldn’t use Elizabeth’s ever-present detail to get a moment of privacy. “Matt?” She caught his attention. “Do you think I could manage to get just a moment with Elizabeth?”

He studied her a second before nodding. “Of course.” She watched as he walked away, returning only a short time later, standing with his back to the narrow doorway after she entered the little room.

Nadine instantly pulled her close, despite the sweat already making her skin tacky. “I just wanted a second to hold you.”

“Everything okay?”

“Fine.” She lied, kissing her quickly before pulling away.

=MS=

From the mission, they’d made their way to an outdoor market to do some shopping. There was more shade under the brightly colored awnings, but it was more walking in the heat. Nadine had been looking forward to this part, but now she could barely drum up the energy to be interested, though each time one of the others looked her way, she smiled at them.

By the time they got back to the safety of the hotel late in the afternoon, Nadine was looking forward to laying down, but at the base of the stairs, she stopped, certain there was no way she could climb up to the bedroom. Biting back her frustration, she turned instead to the couch, dropping her hat and sunglasses on the table before shedding the extra layers of clothes and sinking onto it with a huff. Leaning forward, she reached down to tug the laces loose on her shoes, but a sharp pain made her abort the attempt. Instead, she flopped back into the pillows, not caring about her shoes anymore.

A hand shaking her shoulder made her blink awake, unsure of how much time had passed.

“We must’ve really worn you out with all that walking?” Elizabeth was smiling at her.

“Sorry. What time is it?”

“Not too late. We still have time to get washed up before dinner.”

Nadine frowned. She’d forgotten about dinner.

“We can cancel and have dinner here.”

“On the terrace?”

“Of course. I’ll let Henry know. Why don’t you got up and shower, I’ll be up in a minute.”

“Okay.” Nadine nodded, watching her go before forcing her body to cooperate and drag her up the stairs. In the shower, she let the water run hot before using the handheld set on pulse to massage sore muscles. She hated to admit that she just wasn’t as young as she used to be.

=MS=

Nadine stared at the ceiling another minute before carefully slipping out of bed. It was early morning, the sun was just rising on their third day. Day one had ended with more exuberant sex, through which she’d gritted her teeth to hide the pain. Day two had been more walking, two of the missions had only been two miles apart, joined by a wide trail that Henry had wanted to take, and then they explored part of the Riverwalk before stopping for dinner. Then it was back to the hotel for what was becoming their nightly ritual.

She’d barely been able to sleep, but was unwilling to wake either of them just yet. Tugging a provided robe around her, she let herself out onto the terrace off the bedroom and stared at the sunrise. Leaning against the partial wall, she balanced her weight on one leg, willing the other to stop the pulsing ache. There were no missions on today’s agenda at least, but they had planned on seeing a couple museums.

With a small huff, she wondered how she was going to make it through today plus another two days of running around San Antonio without either Henry or Elizabeth working out she was hurting. It would ruin the whole trip, not to mention end the increasingly more adventurous sex. The throbbing in her hip radiated sharp across her pelvis, all of her muscles and joints now objecting to the compensation she’d been forcing them to do. She knew from experience that her lower back would be next right along with her knee on the other side.

Pushing off the wall, she didn’t bother hiding the pronounced limp, nor the grimace and small, pained noises, as she took uneven steps to a chair, lowering herself gingerly down. From inside the room, she heard her phone ring and sighed somewhat dejectedly. She wasn’t about to try and get to it before it stopped ringing and she knew it would wake one of both of the others.

A minute passed and it was Elizabeth who stepped out, Nadine’s phone in hand. “Your phone rang.” She sleepily stated. “You weren’t in bed.”

“I was watching the sun come up.” She accepted her phone and woke it up to see who’d called. “It was a video call from Blake.”

“I’ll go start the coffee.” Elizabeth kissed her and went back inside.

Once she was alone, Nadine pressed the button to redial, doing her best to look cheerful when the line connected. “Good morning.”

Blake’s attention was elsewhere a moment. “I thought I’d touch base and say the house and all younger McCords are doing well.”

“Okay. But why call me?”

He scoffed. “Because you won’t try to wheedle work information out of me.”

“Fair enough. Any concerns on that front though?”

“Nothing at all. Well, Russell Jackson’s up to something, but Stevie’s trying to work out what that is exactly. It smells of an ambush when Elizabeth gets back.”

“Does Russell know you and Stevie are dating?”

“Not if I can help it, no.” That made her laugh. “She and I decided that the longer he is in the dark, the longer he doesn’t shut her out. While, of course, he knows she’ll take the big things right to her mom, he doesn’t think she knows yet how to read the signs like an experienced assistant and treats her as generally clueless.”

“But you’re teaching her.”

“Everything I know.” He chuckled, finally bringing his attention to the screen. “How are things on your end? Was your sister a nice surprise?”

“She was. And things are…good.”

Nadine realized belatedly that, of course he’d catch her hesitation. “But?”

“But nothing.”

His lips pursed together. “Nadine.”

“Fine. I’m a little sore from all the walking and such. It’s not a big deal.”

“Translation, you can barely walk and are in agony and don’t want them to know.”

“It’s not that bad.”

“Then show me. Set the phone on something and get up and walk.” When she didn’t immediately respond, his brows shot up expectantly. “Well?”

“I can’t do that.” And it had nothing to do with wearing only a robe.

“Because?”

“Blake…”

“I know I’m not married... yet… but I’m pretty sure this is part of that whole married thing. They will be angry and hurt if you don’t speak up.”

“I will.”

“I have Ruth’s number now; I could just loop her in on this too.”

He wouldn’t… “You wouldn’t!”

He looked dead into the camera, making it feel like he was looking right into her eyes. “I will. Just as soon as I figure out the right time to ask, you’ll be family soon enough and that means I get to _care_ , Nadine.”

“I’ll tell them. I promise.”

Blake seemed to study her face for signs of deception before nodding. “Good. Pass on that all is well this end and I’ll see all of you when you get back.”

“Will do.”

“Bye.”

Shoving the phone into the pocket of the robe, Nadine pushed up out of the chair, gritting her teeth together as she focused on not limping into the bedroom to get dressed. Just a few more days and then they were headed home.


	35. Chapter 35

It was their last evening in Texas. The day had been more relaxing, they only ventured out early in the morning to explore the rest of Riverwalk before spending the day in their suite, mostly in bed. Nadine hadn’t bothered worrying them with her ever increasing pain. They all so rarely got time off like this and she didn’t want to ruin it.

Staring at the smile on Elizabeth’s face now, she was glad she’d stayed quiet. Among the various things they’d explored in the bedroom, tying her up, which had been her idea, and loosening up her ass so Henry could fuck her, a suggestion Liz had made that she’d eagerly agreed with, Nadine was now watching the culmination of the two come together.

In one hand, Elizabeth had the ties from two nights ago, and in the other, lube and a brand new, deep maroon vibrator. The shape of it was sleek, only a rippling hint of ridges. What Liz had planned made her mouth go dry.

“I think you’re ready for Henry to fuck you. I was thinking I could fuck you too. Our last night, our last hurrah. I want your pleasure to be totally in our hands. I want you to just let go and let us care for you.”

Nadine moved up the bed, letting Elizabeth put her on her hands and knees before wrapping the center of the tie around her wrists firmly before lashing the ends to the bed frame. It forced her onto her elbows, but she didn’t say anything.

Behind her and out of view, Nadine listened as Henry joined them, taking the bottle of lube from Elizabeth and then the cold shock as it was applied liberally along her ass, a single thick finger working some of it in as she did her best to relax. She rocked back, trying to keep her focus on Henry’s hands stretching her open, prepping her. She wanted this. She wanted to be taken apart by both of them and she had no plans to stop any of it.

Henry nudged her knees further apart so her ass was lower and then the head of his cock was blunt against her hole.

“Please.” The pressure grew. “Please, Henry.” She rocked back and then the head was pushing through the ring of muscles, making her gasp and twist at the sudden pressure. The angle plus the pressure made her hip scream, but she grunted through it, determined to out-think the pain. “Move please.”

He did. Then there was a hand toying with her clit, her slit, spreading a mix of her own wetness plus more lube around and then, just when she was sure it was going to be too much after all, the feel of another cock sliding home. Filling her up.

There were hands everywhere. Two hands digging into her hips, providing anchors for the cock burying itself in her ass. Another hand cupping her, rolling her clit, stimulating her almost everywhere and then another touching her each time the cock buried inside her moved. The fullness shifted her knees wider, put more pressure where there was already pain. She cried out, hoping they would assume it was in pleasure. She was climbing higher, rocketing closer, and then…

And then all she felt was pain.

Blinding, overwhelming pain.

It was too much. Too much to hold back, to keep at bay. She cried out again, all her muscles stiffening in protective defense. She cried out and then couldn’t stop it.

Nadine cried. Cried at the way her body refused to let her have this one moment. Cried at the way it objected to every millimeter. Cried over the feeling of utter failure.

Somewhere behind her, she sensed more that heard as Henry realized something was wrong and stopped. As he said something to Elizabeth, who pulled away first. She cried at the sudden double loss as her body was emptied of them. Cried as her hands were freed of their restraints.

Cried, body trembling, as they tried to help her move and another wave of blinding pain shot through her.

There was more conversation. But her brain wouldn’t let her work it out. The bed shifted. Elizabeth was now curled beside her, doing her best to offer comfort. The pain flared, causing a wave of nausea to rush through her a moment. She swallowed it back as her body trembled again.

She wasn’t sure how much time passed, but the bed shifted again and then it was Henry’s voice speaking softly. “Where does it hurt the most, Darling.”

His gentleness and concern made the tears start. “The worst of it is my hip. The rest is from compensating.”

“Okay. I’ll get ice. Let’s get you rolled on your side.” He waited for her to nod before carefully rolling her. “I’ll be right back.”

Nadine opted not to open her eyes, ashamed of the state she was in. When Henry returned, she hissed as the towel full of ice was pressed to her body.

Twenty minutes passed and she could still barely move. Nervously, she finally looked up at where they were both sitting watch over her now. “Maybe a warm bath will help.”

There was clear concern in both their eyes. “We should take you to be looked at by a doctor.” Elizabeth responded.

“I’ll be okay. I promise. Just let me soak in the tub, you’ll see.”

“…Fine. But… Can you walk?”

If she was honest, and she had no intentions of starting that now, she hadn’t been able to walk in days. “I think so.” The bathroom wasn’t that far away. She could fake it, surely.

“I’ll help you.” Henry moved the icy towel away and offered his hands so she could pull herself up, frowning when she couldn’t even manage to sit upright. “How about we draw the bath and I carry you?”

“I don’t nee you to do that.”

“I’ll start the water.” Elizabeth spoke over her.

Several minutes passed and, despite her objections, Nadine found herself being carried to the tub and lowered in. In the next room, she could just make out the soft cadence of Elizabeth making a phone call. It was the sharp ‘what?!’ that made her wince, suspecting just who the call was to. Looking up at Henry, she pointed to her things on the counter. “Would you get something for me?”

“Of course.”

“My bag up there. There’s a small black coin purse.” She watched as he searched and then passed it to her. Taking two items out, she popped them in her mouth, setting the small bag on the edge of the tub.

When Elizabeth appeared a short time later, Nadine tried to smile at her, but two thirds of her body was screaming at her still.

Elizabeth frowned. “Why is Blake telling me you’ve been this way for days?”

She didn’t answer, but then Henry’s attention was already on Elizabeth. “You called him?”

“To tell him to clear my schedule for an extra day or two.” Her attention shifted back to the tub. Kneeling, she took one of Nadine’s hands. “Nadine…”

“I didn’t want to ruin the week.” She felt the beginnings of her world going soft and gave a small sigh. “I promise you; I didn’t realize it was going to get this bad. I would’ve done something about the pain sooner.” She felt a small smile, the first honest one in days, twitch at the corners of her lips. “I’ll be okay. You don’t need to take extra time off.”

There was concern in Elizabeth’s eyes. “What’s…” She looked up at Henry whose eyes landing on the black pouch on the edge of the tub. Picking it up, Elizabeth opened it and looked at her, confused.

Nadine understood. “Normal pain reliever doesn’t touch the pain.” It was hitting her now. She grinned almost mischievously. “A couple more and we can go back in there and you two can do whatever you want to me. I won’t feel it even a little.” She tugged her closer. “We could pick up where we left off.” Nadine couldn’t help thinking that maybe she should have taking something earlier in the evening. She couldn’t help noticing the concerned look on Elizabeth’s face grow and suspected that something she’d just said had been inappropriate for the moment.

With her free hand, Elizabeth carefully brushed a lock of hair away from Nadine’s face. “Henry, could you… Could you give us a minute? Tell the guys we may have to still drive to the hospital tonight. You might need help getting Nadine to the car.”

“Okay.” He nodded, leaving the room.

Alone, Elizabeth sighed. “I know you’re not used to sharing your burdens, but Nadine… we have to learn to do better than this. I thought… I thought we were past hiding things from one another.”

“We are.” She felt herself choke up. “I didn’t want to ruin the whole week. We’d all been looking forward to it. The sex… the time together out in public… I wanted all of that and I didn’t want to give it up because of a little ache.” The room lapsed into silence and after several minutes, she let her eyes slip shut. “I’m not high, I know my limits.”

“When did the pain start, Nadine?”

“…The first night. Well… Because of it. Because of the way Henry pulled my leg up and then we did all that sightseeing.”

“We could’ve skipped all the walking.”

“I wanted to be with the both of you. Henry went to a lot of effort putting this week together.”

“Do you have any idea how many vacations we’ve had to change or scrap altogether over the years? Believe me, Henry won’t think a thing of it. Even before this job now, we’d dealt with bad weather, unexpected broken things… we found out I was pregnant with Alison while we were on a cruise and I was seasick the entire week. Then when Jason was three, we all got food poisoning during a single night stop halfway to our destination. Trust me, Henry is well used to adjusting expectations midstream. And then… Being Secretary of State? Henry figured out but quick to have Blake on his side to even get a glimmer of time together.”

Somewhere, in the bits of her brain that weren’t currently still addled with pain, that all made sense to her. She knew they’d been together thirty years, both almost always having unpredictable jobs, plus the kids. Life happened unexpectedly. “I’m sorry.”

“Please talk to us next time?”

“I promise.” Her eyes fluttered open. “Really, Elizabeth.”

She nodded slowly. “Now. How bad is the pain? Be honest.”

“… Nothing seems to be helping.” She caught the way Elizabeth seemed ready to mobilize the troops. “The hospital won’t be able to do anything. It’s all soft tissue inflammation.”

“I’d be more comfortable if a real doctor said that.”

“I’m not sure a real doctor would be impressed with the Secretary of State bringing her high friend into the ER. Not all doctors are so forward thinking.”

“So, we won’t tell them.” She stood, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Before we get on a plane tomorrow and put you thirty thousand feet in the air, I’d really like to know you are okay.”

Tipping her head back so she could see Elizabeth’s face, Nadine reluctantly nodded. “Okay.”

=MS=

In the end, Nadine had reluctantly accepted wearing a pair of Elizabeth’s sweats and a tshirt over trying to force herself into anything she’d packed. She’d tried her best to move independently, but the failed attempt to cross the bedroom had told them all she’d never make the stairs. Tears of frustration had pricked the corners of her eyes when Henry had appeared in the doorway with one of the detail to gently help her down. She still had no idea where they’d managed to procure a wheelchair to get her the rest of the way to the motorcade.

In the hospital, Nadine had had to explain to the doctor and nurses her entire medical history, doing her best to ignore the looks of surprise on Elizabeth and Henry’s faces as some of the smaller details. She’d wanted to laugh when the doctor had offered her what amounted to high-dose aspirin for the pain, but hadn’t said anything while they waited for her turn having images taken.

Henry ducked in while they waited, paper cups of coffee in his hands. “People down the hall are wondering what famous person is here.” He gestured with one cup. “They saw diplomatic security in the halls.”

Nadine ran a hand through her hair, trying to convince it to stay away from her face. “They’ll be sorely disappointed to find out it’s not anyone important.”

“To them maybe.” Elizabeth patted her hand. “But pretty important to us.”

“Matt said they’ve already confirmed a change to the boarding tomorrow.”

“A change?” Nadine’s brows knit together.

He nodded. “We’ll load from a jetway instead of the stairs. That way it’s either smooth enough for you to walk or, depending on how well you can even walk, we have the option of using a wheelchair to the door.”

“I won’t need that.”

“You won’t be forcing your body to do more than it’s ready for.” He frowned. “It’s not the biggest airport we’ve been through, but you still have no business walking if there is any pain at all.”

“So I just never walk again?” That seemed to stop him mid-thought. “I am deeply sorry I’ve never mentioned any of this and I’m sorry I didn’t speak up this week, Henry. But pain has been a normal part of my life for a very, very long time.” And now it was getting worse again, she knew it was contributing to her souring mood. “… I’m sorry.” She put her head back and shut her eyes. “This isn’t how I expected this week to end. Please… can we get through the next day or two and then discuss this?”

“… Of course.”

The room was quiet until she began to feel uncomfortable form the silence. “Hiding the pain was necessary for so long that I don’t really even think about it. I could never show a sign of weakness and not being able to keep up, well… that was definitely a sign of weakness. No one in DC ever knew… not even Vincent. Ruth only knows I’ve had surgeries; she doesn’t know about the ongoing pain.” She finally looked at them again.

“But Blake knows.” Elizabeth pointed out.

Nadine rolled her eyes. “I swear he’s a human polygraph.” She sighed. “When we get home, I’ll go through all of it with you. Every hospital stay, every injury, all of it. I should have do that a long time ago.”

“We want to know, Nadine. We love you and we want to know how to help you.”

“I know.” She hesitated, biting at her lower lip a second. “There’s… there’s a chance all this pain could be a sign of something.”

“What is it?”

“Hip replacements don’t last forever. I mean, some people get lucky, but on average they have a shelf life based on how active a person is… I will schedule an appointment with my doctor when we get back, but there’s a chance he’ll tell me it has to be done again. That I’ll need another surgery.”

“Can- can I come with you to the appointment?”

She was surprised at how hesitantly Elizabeth was asking. “Of course.”


	36. Chapter 36

“Isn’t it weird?”

Nadine sipped her tea, turning to lean against the counter as Stevie made her breakfast. “Isn’t what weird?”

“Mom and Dad are renewing their vows and still not acknowledging you as part of their marriage.”

She shook her head. “No. It’s not weird. Thirty years is a big deal, especially in DC. They’ve stuck it out through the hard times, through raising three very independent children.” Nadine grinned when Stevie did. “Through a lifestyle that requires a lot of extra communication. And now your mom’s planning to run for president. That’s a level of stress on not just them, but all of us, that is going to be unlike anything we’ve faced before.”

“I know.” Stevie looked away a moment. “It’s been making Blake a little anxious just waiting to hear her officially say it.”

“How are things going between the two of you?”

Stevie blushed. “Good. Ever since… ever since the whole baby thing I guess I keep thinking he’s about to propose, but… Maybe that’s just me wishing.”

She couldn’t help being curious. “Do you want him to?”

“I do!” She sighed. “Is it… is it silly?” Nadine shook her head as she carried on. “I’ve known him for years, you know. He came around a lot when Mom was teaching and he was always just… so sweet. I still can’t believe sometimes that he noticed me, you know?” She bit her lip. “He probably thought I was just Mom’s annoying daughter and then… then he asked me out.”

“Well… be patient. The promotion has been keeping him busy.”

“I know.”

Nadine studied her a moment. “How are you doing with everything else? You haven’t mentioned the bombing or the baby much lately.”

“I’ve been okay. I don’t think about it every time I’m at work now.”

“That’s good.”

“As far as the other… I’ve been trying to make sense of it. How I could get a shot at being so happy for a tiny window of time and then just… nothing.” Stevie left her plate on the counter and turned to face Nadine. “I haven’t mentioned it to anyone else, but I tried going to church. I know Dad finds a lot of answers to problems there.”

“Did it help?”

She shook her head. “No. And I- I thought about if that didn’t help, maybe if I-” Nadine caught the slight blush that colored her cheeks.

“What?”

She shrugged. “I thought about trying a synagogue, since… Dad’s always been on about how people get comfort differently from different religions and… I don’t know. It sounds stupid. I was afraid to ask Blake where he goes. He doesn’t mention it to me much, the baby, and I didn’t want to make him have to think about it if he’s already forgotten.”

“I can promise you; he hasn’t forgotten. I understand searching for a reason, I really do, but with what happened to you- I don’t think you’re going to find one. Occasionally something is simply a tragedy.” Wanting to change the subject to something more cheerful, Nadine put her tea aside. “Tell me about how the plans are coming on the party.”

=MS=

“I’m sorry.” Nadine froze as she was coming down the back stairs at the sounds of Henry’s rushed apology.

“For?”

“Hello Nadine. Long time, no see.”

At the appearance of Mike Barnow, she rolled her eyes. “Hello, Mike.”

“He’s Elizabeth’s legal counsel.” Henry explained.

“I thought you wanted her freed, Henry.”

“I heard you had a fresh conflict of interest, Nadine. Congrats on that by the way.”

She decided it was beneath her to roll her eyes at him a second time, so she ignored him. “Do you need me for anything?” She looked at Henry again.

“No. But I was hoping you would offer your legal opinion on whatever he’s going to suggest. I trust you to have Elizabeth’s best interests in mind.”

“Ouch!” Mike put a hand to his chest. “You don’t trust me?”

Henry stared a moment, clearly debating the best way to answer. “Not as much as Nadine.” He finally settled on that.

“I get it. Hard not to prefer someone who’s that wonderful in bed.”

“I _will_ kill you and I _will_ get away with it.” Nadine snapped.

“Okay, okay!” Henry waved his hands in the air. “Elizabeth first, then you can kill him all you want. Mike, keep all words that come out of your mouth limited to the problem at hand.”

“…Fine.”

=MS=

Nadine hadn’t been sure she wanted to attend the party until the last minute, when Elizabeth had begged one last time for her to come. Now, she was tucked away in the kitchen, watching everyone who milled about in the front part of the house. The squeak of rubber on wood caught her attention before Jay appeared in the doorway.

“I thought I saw you back here.” He slowly made his way closer. “How are you doing?”

“I’m good. You?”

Jay shrugged. “I’m doing okay.” When she sipped her flute of champagne, she didn’t miss how his eyes caught on something. “What’s this?”

She looked at her hand. “Henry and Elizabeth gave it to me.”

“As a, uh…”

“Yes.” She drew a breath. “When we went to Texas two months ago… We exchanged vows, the three of us. It’s not… obviously it means nothing really, but…” She nervously smoothed the front of her dress. “And no one can really know.” When she finally looked up at him, he was beaming.

“But that’s a big deal!” His voice dropped. “As far as I’m concerned, it counts. I can see how much they love you. And you’re clearly happy. It was a bit of a surprise when you and she broke it to me in Canada, but… I’m happy for you.” He carefully leaned in around his crutches and hugged her. “Congratulations, Nadine.”

“There’s hugging happening?”

They turned as Blake wandered in. “It’s just…” Jay glanced back to Nadine.

She nodded. “He knows.”

Jay looked back to Blake. “She just told me the good news.”

That made Blake smile brighter. “Ah, yes.” He leaned in so his voice wouldn’t carry. “You should see them all relaxed together. It was a long time coming.”

Chuckling, Jay patted her arm before excusing himself back to the party.

“Your little circle is getting a little bigger.” Blake observed.

“A little bit. I saw you dancing with Stevie.” She nudged him. “When are you going to ask?”

“I don’t know.”

She studied him a second. “Ask tonight.”

“On the day of her parents’ vow renewal?”

“You’re both dressed up, it’s already a party. Believe me, there will be no hurt feelings about it. Just wait till the other guests have left and ask.”

“Right…”

“Blake?”

“Yeah?”

“What are you afraid of?”

He didn’t answer right away. “Of disappointing her.”

“In what way?”

“What if… what if I’m no good at being a husband… What if I work too much or… I don’t know…”

“You’ll be fine. I promise.”

=MS=

As the door closed behind the last guest, Nadine stepped into the living room. The lights were dimmed, making the tree shine brighter as the soft music carried on playing. Elizabeth was laughing by the door at something Henry said. Nadine caught her attention and gestured for her to be quiet. By the tree, Blake had still been dancing with Stevie, but now stopped. She watched as he pulled her closer before getting on one knee. Across the room, Nadine heard Elizabeth gasp and then saw Henry wrap his arms around her.

“Stevie McCord, will you marry me?”

“…Yes!”

Blake pulled the ring out of the box and put it on her finger, standing to kiss her. When he backed away, both Elizabeth and Henry were wrapping them in excited hugs. Over their heads, Blake sought Nadine out, who finally crossed the room, joining in on the excitement.

“Welcome to the family, Blake.”


	37. Chapter 37

“Nadine, I want to talk to you about something for a minute… Well… A few somethings. But, one something I don’t want you to freak out about.” Elizabeth patted the chair she was sitting on in the bedroom.

“Am I likely to freak out?”

“…Possibly?”

Crossing the bedroom, she joined Elizabeth in the chair. “What’s up?”

“When I worked at CIA, Conrad knew what I was doing. I wasn’t- he and I never did anything, but he was aware.”

“Okay.” She was a bit confused about where this was going.

“He asked if I had anyone like that in my life now. I- I didn’t answer him, but he said he was only asking so he could help protect me once I announce. He, um, he offered for me to go spend some time at Camp David on my own to write my speeches and he- he said if I had someone, they could go along as well.”

Nadine rolled that around in her mind a moment. “Do you trust him?”

“Yes. I trust that he can know this and not let it get out, but also not let it change how he views or treats anyone. He’s known it about me for decades and has never treated me any differently, nor the people he knew I slept with back then.”

“Do you want to tell him about us?” She twisted so she could see Elizabeth’s face.

Elizabeth nodded. “I do. He will be able to help us find ways to explain away your presence when we want to. You and Henry are going to be my rocks through the campaign, and I am hoping, truly hoping, that at times you’ll be able to travel with us. I know you’ll be teaching still, but I am going to be traveling the country with Mike B, I’ll need a bit of sanity.” She laughed. “But also, I really want to see if there is a way to finally get us living together somehow. I want to find options that mean we can really sit down and discuss it.”

“I know.” It came up more and more.

“Every time you go to your condo, it feels like we’re shuttling you off because we’re ashamed and that couldn’t be further from the truth.”

Turning fully in her seat, Nadine pulled Elizabeth close. “I know, I really do. We’ll figure it out. If you want to talk to him, we’ll do it. I’ll make my schedule fit yours. As far as taking time away at Camp David, if you want me to come, I’ll make that work too.”

“Really?”

She chuckled. “My wife is running for president. Yes, I’ll make a little time to support her in that.”

=MS=

Nadine nervously tugged on her blazer, adjusting the sleeves, and checking for invisible lint. At her side, she felt Elizabeth look her way again and looked up to give her a small smile.

“No need to be nervous.” She whispered.

“Do you know how rarely I talked to Dalton, even when I worked at State?” She shook her head. “And it’s been ages since I even did that.”

“It’ll be okay.” Elizabeth greeted Lucy and then stepped into the Oval Office, shutting the door behind them.

At the desk, Dalton looked up and paused, surprise clear on his face. “Nadine?” His eyes cut to Elizabeth. “Bess?” He stood, waving them both to take a seat on the sofas. “I take it this is why you were mum about the topic before.”

“Yes, Sir.” Elizabeth smiled.

“Well, I have to say… There’s never been even a hint of rumor about anything between the two of you, so… good job on that front. How long as this been going on between you?”

“Um.” She looked at Nadine a moment. “Since a few months after my confirmation, actually.” She reached out and took Nadine’s hand, lacing their fingers together. “Henry and I have committed to being with her permanently.”

“That’s…” He failed to contain his obvious surprise. “That’s wonderful. Surprising, but wonderful. I can understand why you’ve kept it so quiet. The American public won’t be nearly as understanding about it as I am.” He sighed.

“We know. It’s been something we’ve been very aware of for a very long time. After Henry, Nadine has been one of the biggest champions of mine for years.”

“That’s good to hear.” He turned to Nadine. “I take it she mentioned joining her at Camp David then?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“I’m also sending a chef out there. So, the two of you will have an easy week.” He started to stand, but thought better of it. “If you get elected, Bess… The way things run around here; it would be easy to find an excuse to have Nadine living here as well that wouldn’t attract any attention. If that’s what you want, that is.”

Nadine and Elizabeth exchanged a look before Elizabeth answered. “We’re definitely interested in hearing more about that.”

=MS=

Once they finally got to Camp David and into their cabin, Elizabeth huffed, landing in one of the chairs. “What first?”

“You have to start writing. I’m going to go take a walk, explore the trails a bit.”

“You’re not going to keep me company?”

“I’ll be back.”

“Nadine.” She whined. “I thought you might help me.”

“Tell you what, make a list of what you want to say or do with your presidency. Think about everything you’ve seen or been involved in working on. What would you do differently? If you called the shots, what do you want?” She leaned in and kissed Elizabeth. “We can go over it later over lunch.”

“And then maybe fool around?”

Nadine laughed. “Let’s see how far you get by the end of the day.”

“Fine.”

Pulling her coat around herself, Nadine stepped back out into the brisk air, glancing around at the trees before picking a trail to walk. It’d been years since she’d walked a trail in the woods. Nadine took it slow, taking in each tree and little animal scurrying along the ground.

A short distance down, there was a bench to one side of the path. Nadine brushed it clean enough and took a seat, breathing in the fresh air and shutting her eyes. There were birds in the trees, either the brave ones who stayed the winter or bold ones who’d already made the journey back. She listened as they sang amongst themselves, uncaring of her presence below.

It gave her time and space to think, and she wondered if that wasn’t the whole purpose anyway. If Elizabeth became president, this would be their retreat for four or eight years. Their small slice of privacy and peace in lives that would afford little of either. Outside of the upper floors of the White House, the President wasn’t afforded any moments to themselves.

She would have to learn to trust more people with their secret. Though that circle was growing already. If she was honest with herself, it was bigger than any circle before when it came to her private affairs. Nadine realized that she’d already had to trust that people were loyal enough to Elizabeth… to her… to help them maintain that privacy and secrecy.

When Will had turned up with his family, Elizabeth had begged her to stay, to meet her family, and while they’d kept it vague with Annie and Sophie, Nadine knew that Will knew full well what her role was. He’d been the one, after all, to check on her when she’d been ill. When they’d been alone, Will had hugged her and asked her how she was doing now, and she couldn’t help thinking that he was with Elizabeth how she so often was with Ruthie.

It had been a different story when Henry’s family had come to stay. Both Henry and Elizabeth had sat her down and explained that his family simply wouldn’t understand. She’d been touched when they’d offered to make and excuse for his siblings to not stay at the house, but she’d assured them that she understood. There would be people in their lives they never won over. She had to be okay with that.

“Ma’am?”

The sudden voice caught her attention instantly. Frank was standing several paces up the path. “Yes?”

He finished walking the distance to her. “The Secretary had asked if we’d seen you recently.”

She checked her watch, surprised to see how much time had passed since she’d set out. “I didn’t realize the time.”

“It’s okay, Ma’am. If you’re not ready to go back, I can radio up to the cabin and have the message shared to her.” He looked around and took a few more steps. “Are you okay, Ma’am?”

“Yes. Of course.” She was confused by his question.

“I just… I didn’t know how you had recovered after Texas.”

“Oh.” She blushed.

“I didn’t mean to embarrass you. They warn us when we start to not get attached, you know? The people we protect come and go. That’s normal. Sometimes they die, hopefully they don’t. Some are good people, some aren’t… I have to say, we’ve all failed fairly spectacularly at not getting attached to the McCords. We don’t… we don’t talk about the things we see or hear, but… As far as I’m concerned, you’re as much a part of my job now as Doctor McCord or any of the kids.”

“I appreciate that, Frank.”

He smiled. “I heard Mister Moran proposed to Stevie.”

“He did.”

“Good… That’s… That’s good. He’s a good man. He’ll take good care of her.” Frank looked up the path. “Doctor McCord is one of the best as well.”

“I know.”

“Of course you do.” She guessed he heard something in his earpiece, because he turned away, his voice low. “I have Sparrow with me.” When he turned back, she was arching one brow at him. Frank chuckled. “You needed a name.”

“I see. I never had one previously.” When he ducked his head, she got curious. “I had a name before? How’d I not know this? What was it?”

Frank shook his head. “I wasn’t involved in picking it. It was before my time. You have to remember I am just the messenger.”

She considered him a moment. “Fine.”

He looked around as if he were looking for an escape route. “Nuthatch.”

“What?!” She was shocked.

He shrugged. “A very small, but aggressive and territorial bird. Apparently you made a lasting impression when you first started at State.”

“Wow. I really did not know that.”

“Like I said, just the messenger. We should probably be headed back up to the cabin now, though.”

“Are you going to escort me?”

“That was the plan, Ma’am.”

“Okay.” She stood and started to walk, suddenly aware of the chill setting in.

=MS=

“Tell me something about you.” Elizabeth turned on the sofa to sit sideways. A fire was crackling in the fireplace as the sun finally set.

“Like what?”

“Like… I don’t know. You’ve always given these tiny little snippets of your life over the years, but you still hold everything close.”

Nadine thought a moment. “I was the top of my class till high school.”

“And then?”

She smirked. “Boys. It was all about the boys after that. I was voted best looking in my senior class along with Aaron Schumacher. He’d now about a hundred pounds overweight and has a combover.”

“Peaked in high school?” She chuckled.

“Something like that. My forty year reunion is around the corner… They’ll probably do something. They always do.”

“Do you ever go?”

She laughed. “No.”

“Why not?”

“They’re silly. Just a bunch of people reminiscing about the ‘good old days’ and trying to one-up one another.”

“You should go.”

“Why?”

“Why not? You’d win the one-up contest hands down. You’re just as beautiful as you were then and now look at the career you’ve had. Chief of Staff to _two_ Secretaries of State and by the time the reunion comes around, possibly an advisor of some sort to the President.”

“And as far as they’ll know, a divorced, lonely woman.”

“Just smile enigmatically and avoid answering.”

Nadine hummed in reply. They lapsed into silence for several minutes before Nadine spoke again. “If it’s possible without raising any questions, I’d love to move with you and Henry into the White House. If- if you don’t get elected then… then my answer is yes there too.”

Her sudden declaration seemed to stun Elizabeth a moment. “Really?”

She nodded. “I want to get you through election night first. It’s not forever, but win or lose, after that I want to move on with our lives.”

“I’m so- I’m so happy to hear you say that.”

“I know we hadn’t discussed it yet, but I made an appointment with the lawyer who handled my will and I’m updating everything to account for you and Henry and the kids. I want you two as the ones who are my medical proxies, beneficiaries, all of it.”

“Are you sure?”

“I already talked to Ruth about it. It would be done already, but I had to reschedule the last one.” She looked up at Elizabeth. “What?”

“Nothing. We, um, we were going to surprise you with it… Henry and I went and had everything updated as well. When our lawyer was pushing for us to consider burial options, we also talked to him about the changes. He’s been drafting new paperwork.”

Shifting positions, Nadine crawled across the sofa, tugging Liz into her for a kiss. “I love you.” She chuckled. “I love you and I just don’t know sometimes what to do with that. I go about my day and it feels like my old life in a way. I do some grocery shopping, I run to the store, teach… and then it randomly hits me that I am going home to you and Henry.” She paused. “That I call your house home now.”

“I want it to be your home.”

“I want it to be my home too.” She admitted.

Elizabeth’s eyes lit up. “Who says you have to sell your condo right away? You could move in but not change your legal address. We’ll… We’ll figure out something in the meantime. You could lease it out, that would cover any costs you have surely.”

“But we can’t forward my mail if it’s going to still be my legal address.”

“We’ll think of something. But, when we get back… you should move in for good.”

She couldn’t help grinning right along with Elizabeth’s eagerness. “Okay. I’ll move in.”

“Good.”


	38. Chapter 38

“Where is this box going?”

She popped her head out of her now-empty bedroom to see what box Elizabeth was referring to. “Oh, that needs to be dropped by Blake’s apartment. I told him he could have it. I’m not attached to any of it and we don’t need the duplicates.”

“Okay. I’ll take it down to the car then. We can swing by on the way back to the house. Is that everything?”

“For now, I believe so, yes.” Nadine turned, taking in the place she’d lived for nearly two decades. The place that used to be her refuge from the world outside, the place that she’d made her own. Now it was reduced to the large furniture that they couldn’t fit into the house and little more. All her belongings had been moved, bit by bit, over the past few weeks. This was their last trip for now.

After today, she’d only be back to check her mail, not that she expected there to be much.

“Are you coming then?” Elizabeth broke her out of her memories.

“Yes. Let’s go.” Pulling the door shut and checking it was locked, Nadine stared at the door for a moment before turning to the SUVs.

Leading the way in, Nadine took a deep breath and let herself really look around. Somehow, and she wasn’t sure how, Henry had gotten another small desk just like the ones he and Elizabeth had in the office and had shifted everything around so she fit in as well. The wingback chair that had once taken up one corner had been moved and the new desk was stacked with papers she needed to sit and grade.

There’d been a small argument in the living room over whether to bring her modern furniture or not, Nadine had won in the end with the justification that it was silly to put perfectly good stuff in storage when she wasn’t particularly attached to her things anyway.

She paused at the base of the stairs, resting her hand on the curled railing. From there she could see where they’d fit her artwork in among what was already on the walls, making it look like she’d been there a lot longer than a few weeks.

“You’re home now, Darling.” Elizabeth’s arms wrapped around her from behind. “How does it feel?”

Nadine drew a breath and slowly let it out, thinking.

She must have paused a beat too long, because Elizabeth turned loose, coming around to face her. “If you’re having second thoughts or anything… We can undo-”

“No.” She cut her off. “No second thoughts. Just thinking is all. Thinking about how lucky I am. I’m… I’m glad we didn’t wait… for this. I know I thought putting off moving in was better, but… I was wrong.” The sudden sound of Jason talking broke the quiet of the moment, making Nadine nervously smile. She tipped forward slightly, brushing their lips together. “Let’s go tell our family we’re home.”

=MS=

“We’re in no rush, Ma!” Stevie insisted, laughing, over dinner. She looked to Blake a moment before looking back to her mother. “We’re going to at least wait until after you announce to make any decisions.”

“That’s not far away, you know.”

Nadine sipped her water. “When are you planning to do that, by the way?” Her question, a question that was asked often now, made Henry laugh.

“Gah! All of you!” Elizabeth waved a hand in the air. “I’ll do it soon. I have to resign first and that comes with a whole host of things to consider.”

“Such as?” She wasn’t aware of any other things that needed considered.

It was Blake who cleared his throat to answer. “She’s learned that some of us, myself and Jay primarily, will also be resigning at the same time and now she’s worried about keeping us suitably employed.”

“And Daisy.” Elizabeth added.

“Right. And Daisy.”

“Two of which have kids to support and one who is planning on getting married and, you know, hopefully having kids. I don’t want to be the reason they all end up in the poorhouse.”

Nadine could easily see through these new excuses, but now understood what everyone else had been up against recently. “But, they’ll all be paid through the campaign.”

“Once I officially announce, yes.”

“So… announce already?”

“That’s what we’ve all been saying!” Henry insisted with a grin.

She shook her head at Elizabeth. “Your family as spoken. It’s time to hand in your resignation. They’re all adults, they know how to handle themselves.”

“You’re right.” She sighed. “I already typed up my letter… I’ll give it to Conrad this week.”

“Good.” Nadine took her hand, threading their fingers together. “You’re ready for this. You _deserve_ this. We’ll all figure it out.”

Stevie laughed again. “She’s right. Blake and I have even already come to terms with staying in the tiny apartment for the foreseeable future to keep costs down. And if he’s going to be traveling with you, I’ll be the only one rattling around in it a lot of the time anyway. I mean, we’ve looked at bigger places, but it makes more sense to wait until we know what our future job situations look like.”

“Worst comes to worst, we just move in with you.” Blake joked.

After her stop by their apartment days before, Nadine was surprised they weren’t looking harder at a bigger place. She’d not given it much through anytime Matt or Jay had made teasing comments about the size of his apartment and had been quite surprised at their accuracy. Pausing a moment, a thought occurred to her. “What if you could get a much larger one bedroom… for the same price?”

He laughed again. “That’s a pipe dream. We’re hoping to stay close to this area and that just means accepting smaller places.”

She looked to Elizabeth, who seemed confused at first but then caught on, before shifting so she was facing Blake and Stevie more directly. “My condo. I’m moved out. I mean, there’s still some furniture in it, but it’s vacant and more than twice the size of your place now. You could just pay me in rent what you’re paying now.”

He spluttered a moment. “That’s- that’s very generous of you but… surely it’s worth more than that as an income property.”

“I don’t want it as an income property. I don’t want the hassle. You two can stay in it as long as you need. You’d be doing me a favor by saving me going and checking on it all the time.”

“I- We’ll have to talk about it.”

=MS=

“That was generous of you.”

Nadine was standing in the space between the closets, waiting as Henry was readying for bed in the bathroom and Elizabeth was already getting settled with a pile of folders in the bed. She leaned against the frame at his comment. “I feel silly for not thinking of it sooner.”

“You’re really fine accepting whatever they are paying now?” He rinsed toothpaste out of his mouth and dried his face with a towel before flicking off the light and stepping out. “Do you even know what they pay?”

“I don’t. Honestly, I would’ve offered to let them have it for free if I thought he wouldn’t have gone through the roof at the suggestion.” She reached out for him, taking his hand and letting him pull her into the bedroom. When his arms wrapped around her, she couldn’t help laughing at the look in his eyes just before he tipped them over, she landing on her back on the mattress. Paper crinkled beneath them as he kissed her.

“It amazes me again and again just how big your heart is, you know that?” He shifted so his weight was held off her by his arms.

Looping her arms around his neck, she tugged his face down again for another kiss, rocking up into his when he moved. The sound of a throat being cleared made them eventually break apart and turn to look at Elizabeth who was doing her best to hide a smirk.

“If you two don’t mind, some of us still have a country to run.”

They exchanged a look before separating. Nadine reached for the folders, sorting and organizing them carefully before dropping them on the bench as Henry pulled Elizabeth away from her pile of pillows. Crawling up the bed, Nadine wedged herself in alongside them. “The country will still be there tomorrow. I promise.” She kissed her harder than she’d been kissing Henry.

He noticed and commented, teasing in his voice. “You didn’t kiss me like that.”

“Jealous?”

“Maybe.”

Stretching across Elizabeth’s body, she reached for Henry again, drawing him into a bruising kiss as they began to make out. Nadine wasn’t particularly fussed when one she was kissing, to her mind they both were amazing kissers, probably because they’d had so much practice with one another.

“Now I’m jealous.”

Nadine pulled away, assuming Elizabeth would want to kiss her husband as well, surprised when it was she that she pulled down.

=MS=

They had Elizabeth between them sitting on Henry’s thighs as she rode his cock, Nadine in front of her, kissing her and touching everything she could reach. Henry was holding on, keeping her rhythm with one hand on Elizabeth’s hip and the other on one breast; it gave Nadine space to be massaging the other while running her fingers along her slit, touching and teasing where his cock was moving in and out, flicking her clit.

In a few short hours their house would be full of staffers for the first campaign meeting, but right now, in this moment, it was just the three of them. And right now, she and Henry were determined for Elizabeth’s day to start off as wonderfully as possible.

“I need more, Nadine.” Liz gripped her hips hard, pulling them closer together. “That thing you do… please.”

She couldn’t help giving in. Twisting her wrist, she pressed he middle finger in along Henry’s dick, adding to the sense of fullness, knowing it was just what she wanted in the way her mouth fell open. It made her so wet when they did this, both she and Henry fucking their wife at the same time. If it were possible for three to become one, she was certain this was it. With her other hand, she swirled Liz’s clit, riding with them as she arched and started to come. “Henry, she’s coming.”

“I feel it.” He grunted. “Keep her going.”

She was about to question him, but then the hand from Liz’s breast was pressed two fingers deep into her, thumb taking advantage of how close she was to her own precipice to end her careening into an orgasm as well. Then they were all three coming, falling one after the other, bodies tight together until they were all coming down, panting as muscles relaxed and left them sagging.

Henry pulled away first and Nadine felt all of it, felt the trail of her own wetness as his fingers dragged along her thighs, felt the thick come as his now flaccid cock pulled away, living her finger still buried for a moment inside Elizabeth.

When she moved her own hand finally, she was coated in the both of them. A hand gently took her wrist, guiding it until her already coated fingers were pressing into her own sensitive slit. Elizabeth’s fingers pressed in as well.

“Now we’re both inside you as well.”

The mental imagine, Henry and Elizabeth both filling her up, something they hadn’t attempted again since the catastrophic night in Texas, made her walls pulse, sending a fresh rush of warmth against their joined hands.

“You like that.”

“God, I love that.”

Elizabeth kissed her. “At the farmhouse… it’ll be just the three of us… Count on it.”

Her breath caught so all she could do was nod as they finally pulled away to begin getting ready.


	39. Chapter 39

Nadine sank silently down onto the top step of the front staircase, safely out of view of anyone who might look up, but close enough to hear the talk in the office clearly. Leaning into her knees, her left arm wrapped tight around her stomach while her right hand covered her mouth as Russell’s voice filtered upward. What he said made it difficult for her to breathe.

“An article is coming out in the next few days in the Washington Chronicle alleging an intimate relationship between Elizabeth and Conrad during their days at CIA.”

Jay and Mike both voiced the shock in her own mind. “Who’s the reporter?”

“Some stringer named Terrance Robinson. We- we don’t know where he’s getting his information.”

“Well, that’s straight up defamation.”

Nadine’s eyes squeezed shut as her thumb fiddled with the ring on her finger. The one that announced that there was a secret relationship, though it may not have ever been with Conrad, and two of the men downstairs on the defense knew it… One of them was just as guilty…

“No, this is good!” Mike’s voice cut in. “This means they have nothing in their oppo file if they’re making stuff up this early. Unless… they’re not making it up?”

“They’re making it up!” Elizabeth’s voice rose defensively. Nadine’s hands fisted; she’d have to remember to have words with him later over the moments he picked to be an ass.

“Okay, okay!” Russell cut off whatever was coming next. “The Chronicle reached out to the White House for comment, which we declined. Most likely they will be reaching out to you next.”

She’d been in DC too much of her career to not know full well rumors like this never really went away. They’d flown below the radar before now, but… Nadine took a careful breath… Now they’d have to go to greater lengths to not be noticed because now- now people would be looking.

“Well, I absolutely want to comment.”

“That’s up to you and your team, obviously. You’ve got more at stake with your campaign.”

“And that’s why we’re not giving this any oxygen.” Over Elizabeth’s spluttering, Mike carried on. “Ignore it, it’s one news cycle, answer it and it follows us the rest of the campaign.”

Well, maybe Mike wasn’t the worst pick for campaign manager after all…

=MS=

It was late, the house was cleared of all the extra staff and Nadine had finally, cautiously, crept in to join the last of the conversation. The kids were upstairs and Elizabeth was flitting from room to room as Mike, Jay, and Blake cleared up the last of the office detritus. She wasn’t surprised when Mike leaned in to speak quietly to her.

“You know this means you have to be more careful.”

She glanced around, confirming again who all was in the room before answering at normal volume, surprising him. “I am aware, Mike, that no one can know about my relationship with Henry and Elizabeth. If the world found out we essentially married one another, officially or not, they’d not only not vote her in, they’d run her out of the country.” Bravado fading, she swallowed. “Or just jail us all.” When he stood there gaping, she waved his shock off. “They both know everything.”

His brows shot up. “ _Everything_ everything? As in, you and I everything as well?”

She frowned at him, eyes narrowing. “You are not indispensable, Mike. I still know how to bury you so deep in legal proceedings that you’ll be chasing your tail proving them to be bogus for years to come, rendering your career in the meantime utterly ruined.”

“Woah, woah, it was just a joke, Nadine. I was kidding, okay! No need to get the claws out… Man. And here I thought I was the one with the reputation of getting in the mud and getting dirty.” He retreated out of the room.

To her side, Jay and Blake were silently exchanging a look. “Just say it.”

“I-” Jay started and then paused. “I am suddenly thinking there is more to the animosity between the two of you than just professional differences in point of view.”

The front door slammed shut before she answered. “Mike is an ass.” After a beat, she looked up at them from her seat, keeping her spine straight. “An ass that, yes, I have slept with. Once. A choice I regretted ever since and, sadly, he has refused to let me hear the end of.”

“Does…” He twisted, gesturing with his thumb toward the kitchen.

Nadine nodded. Wanting the conversation to be over, she drew a breath. “I one hundred percent believe the rumor is false about she and Conrad. How do we keep them from digging further?”

=MS=

Pushing the back door shut, Nadine hauled her bag to the office, surprised that Elizabeth was already home for the day, a glass of scotch in her hand. Slowing her steps, she continued on to leave her bag on her desk, backtracking once her hands were free. “Elizabeth?”

“Nadine… Would you come sit with me?”

“Of- of course.” Cautiously, she took a seat across from her and waited.

“I- I couldn’t stay at the office today… Nina… Nina told me something…” Her eyes finally came up to meet Nadine’s. “You were a federal employee a long time.”

“Yes.”

“Did you know of a document… a file… that women passed around of what men to avoid?” Nadine watched Elizabeth reading her for a reaction. “A document that warns other women what those men have done and gotten away with in the past because OCR does nothing?”

She nodded. “I know of it.”

“I see.”

“I- I know about it because I created it. Myself and a few other women working on the Hill at the time. I- I know it used to go out to more than just the women and I know… I _hope_ it has saved a few from becoming victims.”

“I never knew.”

“I know. It was better that way.”

“How?”

“You not knowing allowed you to do your job without bias, without fear. I made sure your detail, your staff, knew who never to leave you alone with. Even from day one. I may have been trying my hardest then to not like you, to not give you a chance, but you were still a woman and I wasn’t about to let you become a victim.” Drawing a careful breath, she sat back in the chair. “We both know how the world works… we’ve both experienced the harsh realities of being a woman in a man’s world. The first time I laid eyes on you, you looked so…young, so beautiful. And you didn’t seem to care about either.” She sighed. “I knew your detail would look after you, though I did keep them appraised of various men who should be watched and then I pulled aside Jay and Matt… and eventually Blake once I realized how much you would be relying on him.”

“So, they all knew?”

“Yes and no. After the first six months or so, they simply took it upon themselves to always be on the lookout. It’s why you rarely went anywhere or did anything alone.”

“But… what about you? What about Daisy?”

“I made sure Daisy was safe… as for myself, well… I can hold my own.”

“I want to make it stop. It’s ridiculous that woman have to still fear going to work.”

“I agree. And you will have a chance to make changes, once you are president. Until then, you have to focus on what you can control.”

Elizabeth was quiet for a few minutes. “Nina was afraid to become the victim and still apologized to me for the article. Can you believe that?”

“Women never want to see another woman hurt. And from what I’ve heard, Nina idolizes you.” Elizabeth laughed and Nadine shrugged. “Hell, I’ve idolized you from time to time. It’s easy to do. The article is a fabrication, but you don’t need me telling you that. It’ll blow over and be a thing of the past soon enough.”

“The others want to ask but are afraid to. They think I don’t know they keep discussing it.”

“Tell them you never had an affair with Conrad. They’ll believe you. They trust you.”

“Henry asked… last night, in a roundabout way.”

That surprised her. She wasn’t sure how to respond to that immediately. “I didn’t know.”

“While you were out… he kind of danced around it, but hinted that it wasn’t entirely out of the box that it could be true.”

“Why didn’t you tell me last night?”

“And have you mad at him?”

“You can’t avoid any of us ever fighting ever, you know.”

“… I can try.”

“That’s not how relationships work.” Pushing out of the chair, Nadine moved to sit beside her, taking her hands. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry you didn’t know about the file and I’m sorry you are hurting right now. I will do whatever you need to help you feel better.”

“Help me drink myself under the table?”

“Well, except that… I’m sure someone will need you sober tomorrow.”


	40. Chapter 40

A breeze ruffled the hem of her cover-up and she shifted, stretching her left leg out and bringing her right knee up to balance the book in her hand. Giving her eyes a break, she looked out across the waves, reaching for the drink at her side to take a sip. She’d sat in much the same position for three days, either napping or reading as the sun lazily moved across the sky overhead.

If she could guarantee retirement would be exactly like this, she just might… she shook her head and smiled to herself at the silly notion. Who was she kidding, she wouldn’t last a month.

“Whatcha readin’?” Water running down her bikini-clad body in rivulets, Elizabeth made her way up the sandy beach and dropped into the other lounger under the large umbrella. “Something good?”

“You’d never believe me.” When she put her hand out, Nadine passed the small paperback over.

“A trashy romance novel?” She laughed. “You’re right, I wouldn’t have believed you.”

“It’s what you read on the beach. How was the water?”

“Wonderful! You should have a dip.”

Ignoring her book for conversation, Nadine turned on her side. “Maybe later. Not all of us can handle all day in the sun like you can. I don’t tan.”

“Have you ever tried?”

“I also haven’t had skin cancer.”

“It- Fine. You have me there.”

She looked around the beach. “Where’s Henry?”

“Talking to a SCUBA instructor. He finally gave in once he realized you couldn’t do it.”

It made her feel a tad guilty. “It’s not that I can’t, Elizabeth… But I really have no business doing it. I do ignore a great many things I probably shouldn’t do.”

“I get that. But we don’t need you having a problem in the open water wearing more than half your weight again in SCUBA gear.” She sighed, sagging back into the cushion. “It feels like… like this is the first time I’ve been able to breathe in… years. I get to be a private citizen for a few weeks and then I’m right back into the craziness.” She turned and looked at Nadine. “You never really got that when you retired, did you? A chance to breathe. You were still just as aware because of me.”

“It was okay. I knew what would happen.”

“I’m sorry though. You stepped back and still carried all that…weight. I should do more for you.”

“You do plenty, Elizabeth.”

“Do I?”

She studied her, assessing whether she was serious or not. “At every step of the way, I had an opportunity to say no. To pause or reverse course or do anything and you… you and Henry, would have respected that. I’m certain I could wake up tomorrow and decide this was all a mistake and move back to my place, act like it never happened, and you both would respect me in that. Even when it breaks your heart to do so. I promise to tell you when I need a chance to breathe because I know you’ll let me have it.”

Slowly, Elizabeth nodded. “Okay.” She sat up and then stood, tugging Nadine to her feet as well before untying the sheer cover-up and pushing it off her shoulders. “I promise not to keep you out long enough to burn.”

“Okay.” Kicking off her shoes and leaving her hat on the chair, she let Elizabeth lead her by the hand to the water’s edge and then in until they were knee deep.

“It drops off in another few feet. But then about four feet later there’s a sandbar.”

She felt when the sand dipped down and pushed off, swimming several strokes until she found the sandy ridge.

Elizabeth rose out of the water beside her. “I didn’t realize you were such a strong swimmer.”

“It’s good exercise.” Where they were standing now, the water was nearly chest deep. “Another thing I haven’t done in ages.”

“The White House has a pool.” She tugged Nadine close. “We could have late-night swim dates.”

“Exactly what does one do on a swim date?”

“A little of this.” Elizabeth laughed as her hands found Nadine’s body below the surface of the water, grazing her body through her suit and then dipping under the edges to tease along her slit. “This would be a lot easier of you would wear a bikini.”

It was Nadine’s turn to laugh. “I haven’t owned one of those since I was like…” She shook her head. “I’m not finishing that.” Fingers found exactly the right spot and she gasped, grabbing hold of Elizabeth’s biceps to stay balanced.

“You know what I’m good at?”

She was afraid to ask, with that look in her eyes. “What?”

“Holding my breath under water. I can hold it a long time.”

Fingers pressed inside her folds. “You- you can?”

“Want me to demonstrate?”

Before she could respond, Elizabeth vanished beneath the waves and then she felt her suit pushed aside, fingers and thumb stroking her, creating the odd double feeling of being in the ocean and still being able to feel her own warm wetness. Then it was all mouth and tongue and Nadine wasn’t sure where to hold to keep from tipping back into the water or whereto look so any witnesses wouldn’t see the obvious pleasure in her face. It was very public and yet she couldn’t help the way she was rocketing so quickly toward an orgasm. “Liz…” She did her best to keep from shouting. “Liz, my god… I’m- I’m going to come.” The fingers returned, one slipping back, adding pressure against her ass and overwhelming her senses.

She was coming, gasping for air, and then Elizabeth was holding her close, catching her own breath as she worked Nadine through to the end. “God, you are so sexy.” She kissed Nadine hard, tasting of saltwater and Nadine. “I am going to find you the tiniest bikini they make and then we’re going to dress you in it and parade you around like the work of art you are.”

“We?”

There was a rush of water being displaced and then Henry was standing at their side, wiping his eyes clear as he grinned down at them. “What’d I miss?” He reached for Elizabeth when she pulled him close, accepting her kiss and then looking quickly to Nadine. “She tastes like you.”

“I showed her how well I can hold my breath.” Elizabeth gave a cheeky grin. “Made her lose hers.”

He pulled them both to his chest, groaning at the mental image. Nadine felt as he started to harden in his trunks and pressed her hand along the firm line. He jumped back, holding her wrist. “Not here. I- I’m not the exhibitionist she is.”

“He’s no fun.” Elizabeth pouted. “Perhaps we should take this party back to the room then, hm?” She tipped back into the waves with a splash, tugging Nadine after her. “We’ll leave him to catch up once he’s accepted he can’t will his erection away while thinking of the two of us, dripping wet, stripping down in the room.”

As they swam across the low space back to the beach, Nadine heard Henry groan again and laughed.

=MS=

“Hello.”

She was back on the lounger that had become her almost daily spot for their entire vacation. They’d gone snorkeling part of one day and had spent part of a few days wandering the island shopping, but today Elizabeth had finally gotten Henry SCUBA diving, leaving her to some private time with a book.

Nadine didn’t recognize the young man that took a seat on the lounger to her left, not bold enough to try and sit under the same umbrella, but still just as close. The way his eyes ran over her body, dressed today in a new cover-up that didn’t hide the bikini Elizabeth had talked her into, made her want to shield herself. “Hello.”

The young man smiled, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. “What’s a beautiful woman doing out here on the beach alone?”

She wanted to roll her eyes. “Just reading a book.” She hoped the vague answer would make him want to move on.

Instead, he scooted forward. “What kind of book? I like books, maybe you could tell me about it?”

This time she did roll her eyes, thankful they were hidden behind dark glasses. “I was enjoying some peace and quiet.”

“I could give you some company.”

“Look, I’m-” Her phone rang and she sent up a prayer of thanks to whoever the hell was risking interrupting her day. “I need to get this.” She fished the phone out of her bag, answering as she turned back to the young man. “It’s my son-in-law, I really do need to take this. He’s back home keeping an eye on the family for me while I’m away.”

The young man’s face fell the slightest bit. “Okay. Maybe I’ll be back later then.”

She watched him walk away before acknowledging the phone again. “Hello. Sorry.”

“… I have so many questions.”

“I’m on my own for a few hours and some man about your age decided to come hit on me.”

“Ah.” She heard Blake chuckle. “This is my daily check in to say everyone is alive and nothing has burned to the ground.”

“Good to hear.” She waited a beat.

“And I really hate having this much free time.” He finally rushed out.

She laughed. “You will regret that in a few weeks.”

“I know.” There was a hesitation and then his voice was low. “Nadine?”

She put the book aside, smile falling away. “What is it?”

“… We… We did it again…”

Her brow knit together. “Did what?”

“Stevie’s… she’s pregnant. And- and I am so over the moon happy, I mean I know the whole marriage first thing, that’s nice and all, but I really don’t care so much about that, but in a few weeks I’m leaving and we’d agreed to wait because of this next year and we took- we took measures to not be here now and we’re happy but at the same time she’s freaking out and I’m freaking out and now I’m feeling guilting because what kind of parent freaks out about becoming a parent-”

“Blake? Blake!”

“I- I, what?”

“Every parent freaks out.”

“…Oh.”

“Take a breath.” She listened and heard nothing. “Come on. In and then out.” She heard him obey. “Does she know you’re calling me?”

“Yeah, yeah, she does.”

“Is she planning on telling her parents?”

“Um, I was supposed to ask when they’ll be back from the SCUBA thing.”

“I’ll text you when I know.”

“Thank you… And good luck… With the guy thing.”

“He’s gone now.”

“He’ll be back.”

“He better not come back.”

“Guys aren’t very smart, Nadine. We don’t always know what’s good for us.”

“Is this coming from experience?”

He gave an odd laugh. “I have no idea what’s good for me anymore.”

“Thanks for the check-in. Keep everyone alive till we get back.”

“Will do.”

Nadine tucked the phone away and returned to her book, not at all surprised when twenty minutes later, a shadow crossed the pages as the young man returned.

“I’m Owen.” He put his hand out, but she simply arched a brow at him until he pulled it back. “Are you here on your own?”

“No.” She kept it clipped.

“Then… where is whoever you’re here with?”

“They’re around.” She wasn’t about to admit they were unreachable. “Should be back any minute.” _Or in a few hours…_

“I’ll keep you company until they get back then.”

She frowned as she watched him get settled in the lounger, but then he said nothing and, eventually, she returned to her book. He was quiet until she finished her drink.

“I’ll get you a fresh one.”

“No, that’s okay.” She tried to grab the glass from his hand, but was too slow. She twisted around in her seat, watching as he walked up to the bar with the glass. Frowning, Nadine pulled her phone out again, placing a call to the SCUBA company to request either Elizabeth or Henry get in touch with her as soon as they were out of the water.

“Here you go.” He sat down, handing her a fresh drink, which she placed on the table.

“Thank you.” Doing her best not to appear rattled by his continued presence, she flipped the book back open, ignoring him.

Ten pages passed and then a hand landed on her knee, making her jerk back in surprise. “Hey!”

“No one’s really here with you, are they?” He was sitting now by her feet. “And that call wasn’t some son-in-law, you’re not married.” He reached for her hand. “There’s no tan line from a ring.”

She yanked her hand back. “I need you to leave now.”

His now freed hand landed on her calf. “I just want to talk. That’s all.”

Looking over her shoulder, Nadine tried to calculate how quickly she could get back to the room, but then she’d been alone in the room… he’d likely follow, and she had the bag to gather up, which would slow her down. “I’m not interested in talking to you.” Her phone rang, but she didn’t want to risk turning her back to him, so she let it go.

“Aw, why not. I’ve always had an interest in beautiful older women.”

The boldness of his statement made her laugh. “You really think calling me old will get you somewhere?”

He shrugged. “Nothing wrong with being more experienced.”

“You need to leave before you regret it.”

He leaned in. “Are you going to make me regret it?”

“I really shouldn’t be your biggest concern right now.” Her phone rang again. “You need to walk away and never look back.”

“I haven’t done anything to you. Why do you have to be like this? I just wanted to talk.”

“And I said I wasn’t interested.” She turned, dropping her feet into the sand, foregoing slipping back into her sandals just in case. “I’m going for a walk. Don’t follow me.”

She was almost to her feet when he grabbed her arm. “No.”

Her phone rang again, but neither of them noticed it. She twisted, doing her best to get him to release his grip.

“You come out here dressed like that and then act like it’s some big crime when a guy shows a little interest.” He forced her back to the lounger. “You’re not going to make a scene. You’re not going to fake another call. You are going to sit her and talk to me and be good.” He took her hand again, this time holding it so tight she yelped. “Just my Darling and me.”

“Don’t- don’t call me that.” The ringing had stopped, but now there was the repeated buzzing of text messages. “Anything but that.”

“I like it though. Darling… Sweet, precious.” His grin made her swallow back bile rising in her throat. “Like you. You’re a precious thing.”

The buzzing stopped and Nadine hoped that it meant whoever was trying to reach her was suitably concerned that she hadn’t answered. “If you just walk away now, I won’t tell anyone anything.”

“But then I wouldn’t have you.”

“You won’t get to have me.”

“But I already do.”

“I assure you, you don’t.” His free hand started a trail up her leg, over her thigh to her waist. She twisted away until he squeezed, holding her still and making her gasp.

“See. You’re all mine. I like a feisty woman, makes life more fun.”

Unsure what to try next, she screwed her eyes shut to block him out while she thought. His hands were still on her and she was reasonable sure he would avoid doing anything to draw too much extra attention, so as long as they stayed on the lounger, she suspected she was as safe as she was going to get. Tense against the feel of his hands, she let her mind sink in on itself, not wanting to think about what he might do, could still do even sitting here.

Suddenly, his hands ripped away as he shouted and then there was the heavy thud of a body hitting sand. Peeling her eyes open, Nadine stared as the young man laid on his back, staring up at one very angry former Marine.

=MS=

“I’m okay! Okay? I swear, I’m okay. He didn’t actually do anything to me except make me uncomfortable and you said… you said the drink was clear. He didn’t even try to drug me. I’m fine! Just-” She put her hands out to keep Elizabeth from coming any closer. “Just give me some time.”

Once she got a small nod, she resumed pacing the room they shared.

“What can I do to help you?”

“Take me home.” She shook her head even as she said it. “We can’t leave early. We need this vacation. _You_ need this vacation. I just need… I need to… I need time.”

As she paced, Elizabeth’s head turned as she watched her walk. “Nadine…”

“No…” She shook her head again. “I- I can’t.”

“You’re shaking.”

“I can’t help it.”

“Then let me help you.”

“You can’t!” Her breath caught in her chest.

“Is there something I could… I could get…” She waved toward the bathroom.

“It’s not there.” She walked across the room again, fisting her hands to try and control the trembling.

“It’s not?”

That made her laugh and it sounded a bit crazed. “We flew commercial, Elizabeth! Do you know how many times I’ve flown commercial in that last I don’t know how many years? Diplomatic travel didn’t get the same level of inspection or scrutiny that commercial does.”

Her meaning seemed to sink in. “…Oh.”

“Yes. Oh.”

Elizabeth finally sat on the bed. “Okay.”

“Just- Just give me some time and I’ll be okay. He really didn’t do anything to me. Probably because we were on the beach in sight of… someone… eventually.”

“He upset you. That’s bad enough… It doesn’t need to be worse than that, Darling.”

Nadine froze, tears filling her eyes as she finally faced Elizabeth. “Liz…”

“Oh, Sweetie.” She rushed over and wrapped Nadine in a hug. “We’re here. I’m here. You’ll be okay.” She smoothed a hand over her hair. “Shh, it’s okay.”

“I- I haven’t been that scared in a long time.”

“I know.”

“All I could think was how badly I wanted you and Henry.”

“We won’t leave you on your own again. Whatever we do, it’ll be something all three of us agree on.” She tipped Nadine’s face up and searched her eyes. “Okay?”

Nadine nodded. “Yes, okay.”

Elizabeth kissed her forehead. “How about we change and lie down? Henry was going to have room service sent in so we don’t have to go anywhere.” She tugged her close. “Come on. I can tell you about the fish that kept nibbling on Henry and freaked him out.” She chuckled.

“He really freaked out?”

“Pretty sure he screamed when they swam a little too close.”

=MS=

“I am fine to walk!” Nadine frowned at them both. I was their last day on the island and they were, for lack of a better word, babying her. They had been the whole trip.

“We just don’t want you to overdo it.” Elizabeth justified.

She huffed. “This is my own fault. I get that. But I swear to the both of you, I am fine.”

“The bikes were just a suggestion, we can get a cab down there. They will drop us on the far side and avoid the trails entirely.”

The suggestion, from the hotel concierge, had been taking bikes, a single and a tandem, down to the final sightseeing spot and then walking the trails to the cliffs. She didn’t really trust giving up control enough to ride the tandem, so Nadine had suggested she take the single bike and that the trails sounded fun.

It was how they ended up at this impasse.

“If you rode the tandem with one of us, then you could limit how much extra stress-”

“Stop.” Nadine shook her head. “I will be fine. I want to do this with the two of you. I promise not to wind up in an island hospital. I will be good.” Neither looked convinced, but both nodded. “Thank you.”

=MS=

Exhausted and relaxed, it was late when the three of them made it through the front door another day later. Nadine dropped her bags out of the way as Elizabeth walked in ahead of she and Henry, already talking to Jason.

“Are you here alone?”

“Um, yeah. Stevie didn’t want to just leave you a message.”

“What? Message about what?” Confusion and concern filled her face.

“They’re at, um… Blake took her to the hospital…”


	41. Chapter 41

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year?

“Tomorrow-”

“I don’t want to think about tomorrow.” Elizabeth cut her off, Henry chuckled from the next room.

“Liz…”

“If I think about it, I will obsess.”

“I can keep you from obsessing.” When Elizabeth snorted, she arched a brow at her. “You think I can’t keep you from obsessing?” She turned, starting at Henry through the doorway. “She doubts me. All these years of keeping her attention exactly where I want it, when I want it and she doubts me.” She turned back again. “ _To-_ morrow, I was thinking that we should make it clear that as soon as the rally is over, we want the house cleared out, no one lingering around. Especially not Mike. It will be a long day for you and I don’t want you getting overwhelmed by everything.”

“…Oh. Well, I guess that sounds like a good idea.”

“Thank you.” She smirked as she passed her to head for the living room.

Elizabeth caught her around the waist. “If that’s tomorrow, then we get to do what I want today.”

“And what would that be?”

“You.” Her hands slipped under her blouse, warm against her skin. “I was thinking… There’s something we never got around to trying again and… I was hoping you might be up for it?”

Her brows knit together a moment. “What?”

She kissed the corner of her mouth. “Henry and I both taking you… together.”

Nadine felt her breath catch. “I’m up for it.”

“How about us trying to exhaust you? I know sometimes riding leaves you a bit sore.”

“Is that why you kept it short today?” They’d been going out on the horses almost every day since they’d been back from vacation.

“Maybe?”

Nadine kissed her. “I’m am up for you doing whatever you wish to me. I’m all yours.” This time, the kiss Elizabeth gave her was hard and took her breath away. Taking it as permission to be equally as eager, she grabbed the hem of her shirt, yanking it up until it was over her head and on the floor. Without a word, she had her bra off and pants undone without pulling away to see what she was doing. She didn’t need her eyes anymore to know her way around Elizabeth’s body. “What are you waiting for?”

Laughing, Elizabeth finally nudged her back. “Henry, take her upstairs.”

She hadn’t even realized he was standing right behind her now until he swept her off her feet, making her screech in surprise as she found herself cradled bridal-style in his arms. “It’s a good thing I love you. I’m not keen on being carried.”

“I know that.” He only did it as far as the bottom step, placing her back on her feet to climb them herself. “Up you get.” He swatted her behind, making her laugh and rush up to the bedroom. Behind them, Elizabeth followed, gathering her discarded clothes along the way.

Rushing, Nadine stripped naked and settled in the middle of the bed, legs curled under herself and waited. The pair of them took their time getting undressed and finding anything they wanted for play. When Elizabeth finally approached the side of the bed, Nadine held her wrists out, confuse when she didn’t see any ties. “Where are…”

“We’re not going to tie you up this time.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t want you hurt, Darling. Having you tied up like that was a stress position for you.”

“It wasn’t. Really.” She lifted her arms, wrists crossed. “Please? You’ll see, I’ll be okay.”

Taking a seat, Elizabeth cupped her cheek. “I want you safe more than I want anything else.”

“I know. We can use extra pillows for me to lean into, just… please let me have this.”

There was a look, a silent conversation, between Elizabeth and Henry, before she finally nodded. “I’ll get the ties then.”

“We’re starting you off on your back though.” Henry finally moved to the bed, skimming his hands up her legs before easing her backward, settling between her thighs. While they waited on Elizbeth, he kissed along her throat with no sense of urgency, his hips pressing into hers, grinding his cock into the curve of her leg. “Let’s get you started then, hm?” He backed up, heading straight for her folds with his mouth.

Nadine arched, fisting her hands in his hair until they were pulled up and away, tied over her head and then to the end of the headboard before another mouth, Elizabeth’s this time, suckled desperately at her breast. She writhed and panted as they took what they wanted.

“Babe.” Henry drew Elizabeth’s attention. “Come hold her thighs.” The angle was different, out instead of up, and it didn’t hurt. Instead, it gave Henry the room to fuck her with his tongue without risking her nearly crushing his head.

She was already close, arching, when a slick finger pressed against her ass and then pushed harder, slipping in to the knuckle and forcing her to keen. “Henry! Henry, more please… More.”

“Shh… We’ll get there.” His finger slipped out to the tip and then pressed in again. Once. Twice. And then on the third, his tongue pressed into her folds and she was coming against his face.

Trying to come down, Nadine shifted her legs looking for purchase and then that finger was pulling away. She heard the cap off a bottle of lube and then something black was being held up… A plug, long and tapered with a bulb partway down.

“It’s part of a set.” Henry explained to her once he thought she was coherent enough to consent. “I thought it might be preferable to fingers, though that was… something else. We can work our way through them as you relax.”

“So you can…” She stared at it another moment. “I want to feel it.” She watched as he coated it with lube and then felt as it touched her hole, slipping slickly in before the pressure of the bulb required her to focus on relaxing her muscles. Once it was seated, however, she could barely feel it. “It’s almost as if it’s not there.”

“How about this?” He tugged, making it apply the smallest amount of pressure;, teasing her as the pressure built and then the slipped out again… then back in… Out and in until he was fucking her ass with the thick bulb of it.

“Bigger.”

“What?”

“I need more.” She squirmed. “Go up a size.”

Henry repeated everything he’d done with the first one, the lube, the slow entry, and then started fucking her again.

“You are so hot like that.” Elizabeth spoke, drawing her attention. Nadine watched as she spread out beside her, face up as well, and then began fondling herself. Getting herself off right there on the bed at Nadine’s side.

“Turn… Turn so I can see. I want to watch you come.”

She complied, presenting Nadine with a view of her slit as she began rubbing herself off.

“Henry, touch me.” When his fingers sank into her heat, the other hand still working the plug in and out, Nadine moaned. She was still riding the last vestiges of the first orgasm, so the second wasn’t hard to find, especially with Liz’s dripping sex within view. “Can you- can you go one bigger without stopping?”

She felt empty as the plug was freed from her ass, but quickly, the third one was brushing, asking permission, at her hole. “In, Henry.” He did and she bucked, coming hard around both the plug and his fingers. “I want to taste you.” She told Liz once she could speak again.

“In time, Darling.” She crawled closer, brushing her hair back. “I want to play with you now.”

=MS=

She was bowed forward on the bed now, face down, cradled between their bodies. They’d already fucked her with their hands, their faces, a variety of toys, but now… Now her arms were free again, not that the muscles had any intentions of doing anything with that freedom. Now they were speaking sweet words, waiting for her to recover from the last orgasm before moving her again.

It was what she wanted. It was what she’d been waiting on all evening. Her ass was ready now, the largest plug nestled in place still, barely a blip on her radar anymore.

“Are you sure you’re up for this?” Elizabeth whispered in her ear.

She panted. “Fuck me. Please.”

“… Okay.”

It was Henry’s hands, though, that shifted her around until she was in the right position. It was his hands that left her at a loss as the plug vanished and then it was the thick head of his cock and she was rocking back, back until the pressure made her want to beg. Made her beg.

She was so focused on him that she missed another head, this one different, lining itself up with his slit. When Henry pushed in, so did the other and Nadine felt herself go from longing to be full to ‘ _ohmygodsofull_ ’ in a single gasping breath.

She rocked. Begging for them to move. And then they did and she forgot how to for coherent words, reduced to babbling as her brain focused on nothing but being fucked senseless.

Hands were on her hips and hands were touching her most intimate areas, petting her clit, and this time… This time there was no pain. There were no tears. “Harder.”

They obliged.

“I need more.”

The cock buried in her slit turned on, began vibrating. And then teeth sank into the soft part of her thigh just below her ass and she was done. Falling apart more intensely than she thought she’d ever done.

Hazily, Nadine became aware that she was on her side now, someone holding up one leg what someone else cleaned her up. She could fell she was a mess from having come so hard only… They were licking her clean, tongue dipping in, sending ripples through her. And then there was a moan.

Cracking her eyes open, she saw the way Elizabeth’s hips canted. The way she shifted as she sucked still and then Nadine realized… Henry was now fucking her with the vibrator that Liz had fucked her with… while Liz’s mouth was sucking her clean.

Her body could barely find the energy this time, but she felt the tiny gush of wetness as her center pulsed again.

=MS=

Somehow, she was at an angle across the mattress, laying naked on her back, limbs everywhere. Beside her, what had roused her somewhat from her slumber, caught her attention. The blankets were pushed away and in the moonlight, Henry had Elizabeth spread out as he slowly made love to her.

Wanting to let them know she was still with them, but lacking the energy to do much else, Nadine found Elizabeth’s hand and threaded their fingers together, holding on as she came.

=MS=

Nadine woke again sometime later, this time as the middle spoon. Henry’s cock was firm against her ass and she rocked back before realizing it, setting his hips into motion before he was fully awake.

Pushing her top leg forward to lace in with Elizabeth’s, she reached her hand down, holding his cock against her slit. “Henry…” She whispered.

“Hm.”

“If you need it, just fuck my hand.” She kept the pressure in place, forcing herself to stay awake as he lazily fucked into the tight space between her legs and hand, not really chasing an end. When it seemed like he was getting close, she shifted, guiding his head just inside and then he came, the bad angle sending most of it right back out, not that she cared right now. The feel, though, left her hot. Shamelessly, she stroked herself right there between them, not bothering to bite her lip when she came.

=MS=

There was a slight awareness that it wasn’t quite as dark outside now and there was a cool breeze in the air. She was exhausted. Boneless. Laying now on her stomach on one side of the bed as it shifted, making her aware of what the other two were doing. Just as Elizabeth came, Nadine could feel herself already dozing off again and then there were hands, tugging her.

“Henry wants you to ride him, Darling. He’d so hard, look.” She peeled her eyes open at Liz’s words. There was a look of desperation in his eyes. His cock curved, hot and hard, as it gleamed, coated with Elizabeth’s fluids. “I came on him already, don’t you see. He’ll be fucking both of us into you. He wants to feel you come, Darling.”

Gracelessly, Nadine managed to get up and seated across his lap, thankful that Elizabeth seemed more than willing to help her get balanced as she sank onto his cock with a moan. It was intentional, but no toys or fingers ever compared to Henry’s girth. “You’ll have to fuck me.”

“My pleasure.” His hands gripped her hips tight, lifting her up the slightest bit before he began to piston into her body. “I’m so sorry, I’m going to come, Darling.”

“Come for me, it’s okay.” No sooner were the word out of her mouth then Liz was reaching around, pressing her clit, and then from behind a finger found its way inside her behind his cock, just like she often did to Elizabeth and the two together had her bending backward over his knees as her bod convulsed.

=MS=

It was daylight properly now and it didn’t sound like Henry was anywhere in the room, but Elizabeth was.

On her side again, this time Nadine was the little spoon. Elizabeth moved her leg forward and then the vibrator was sliding home, moving with the help of her leg as both hands massaged Nadine’s breasts. It was a close approximating to being fucked by Henry, close enough for her body to decide it counted anyway.

“I’m spent, Liz.”

“Just one more.”

“I don’t have any more.”

“You have one more.”

Fingers began to work her clit as the thrusts of the vibrator grew firmer. “I have no more.” She was exhausted. Her body was saying it was done.

“I promise.” Elizabeth kissed her shoulder. “Feel it? It’s warm, it’s there, you can do it, Nadine.”

She did. It wasn’t as hard as many of the others and it didn’t make her feel split open, but it was there, it happened. Like gently rolling waves that crashed over her in the surf, she came, and it kept going. Tears slipped from her eyes, but the waves didn’t stop.

“Feel the difference, Darling? Can you feel how open that feels? How raw?”

“Yes. Yes.”

“That’s what making love feels like. When all the passion’s done and you have nothing else, but somewhere deep inside you find it, you find that last reserve that leaves you a little broken, but longing for it to never end.” She pressed another kiss to her shoulder. “That’s what I feel for you, Nadine. That’s what I feel for you every day, Darling.”

Finally, the vibrator stopped, and she was left empty, alone. She wanted to pull her eyes open to find where Elizabeth had gone, but her body was done obeying her.

A hand brushed her hair aside and a kiss fluttered across her cheek before a cool sheet was brought up and over her body. “Sleep well, Baby. When you wake, we’ll begin moving mountains.”

=MS=

The house was oddly quiet when Nadine woke, her body stiff and sore in ways she couldn’t remember it ever being before. Somewhere in the distance, she could hear speaking. Forcing herself off the bed, she dragged the sheet with her, using it as a makeshift robe as she shuffled to peek through the sheers and out toward the back pasture. People were standing everywhere; the place was packed. Turning back to the clock, she discovered the face had been turned to the wall intentionally, a note propped against it.

Lifting it, she read- _Rest, Darling. Don’t worry about missing the speech, just knowing you’re up here waiting on me is enough. I love you so much it leaves me aching._

Nadine looked back to the window. No one could see her through the sheers, but she saw as Elizabeth glanced back at the house, looking up almost as if she could see her anyway. Puling back again, she made her way slowly to the shower. She might miss the speech, but she planned to be waiting to greet her when she came back in.


	42. Chapter 42

“Something smells good in here!”

Nadine glanced up from the dish in her hands as Henry came through the pantry, pausing just out of view. “Could you bring in that bottle? You have perfect timing, I’m just about ready to plate dinner.”

A beat later, he appeared in the kitchen, leaving the requested bottle on the end of the island as he rounded it to quickly kiss her on his way to the wine glasses, one hand curling around her side. “How were classes?”

“Good. The TA I’ve been assigned is really on the ball, I like him.”

“Trust him enough to cover?” They were used to this now, with Elizabeth gone it was just the two of them in the house.

“I do.” She leaned one shoulder into his chest. “How was work?”

He sighed dramatically. “You would think that having Elizabeth out of the Truman means the world is now coming to an end.” She laughed. “Any word from her today?”

“No.” She moved the food to plate and handed him one. “But coverage of her speech and some of her day is up online. I thought we could eat on the couch and watch it?”

“Sounds good.” Grabbing his glass, Henry led the way, getting settled while Nadine did the same and then reached for the TV remote. “Tulsa today, right?”

“Yes, Tulsa. I only caught glimpses of it when it aired live, the turnout looked quite big.” Settling against his side, they ate and watched Elizabeth’s campaign speech and the coverage of her rally. “She looks good.”

“She does. Should we plan something while she’s back home next week?”

“You mean aside from sleeping? We could try and talk the kids into coming home for a day or two. Alison and Jason would probably be easy sells on playing hooky from classes to see their mother.”

“Not Stevie?”

She snickered. “We won’t be seeing Stevie, don’t even count on it.” Nadine stretched across to leave her plate on the table and turned to him. “She came and had lunch with me on campus.”

“Today?”

Nadine nodded. “She didn’t want anything in particular, just…” She picked at invisible lint on her trousers. “It’s been three weeks and she misses Blake. I think she was looking for a little commiseration.”

“And I can’t commiserate?”

“Commiseration without the lecture about lasting love.” She chuckled at him. “She’s smart, she understands it’s not forever, but that doesn’t help the loneliness right now.” She drew a breath. “Also, she had wanted to know about hanging some pictures in the condo. I guess in an attempt to not destroy the place, he’d refused to hang anything and while he’s gone, she’s decided to do it anyway and surprise him.”

Henry paused mid-bite. “He comes home to stuff hanging on the walls as a surprise, they won’t have a good week together.”

“I mentioned that.”

Standing, he carried their dishes back to the kitchen. Nadine adjusted the pillows and got comfortable like she did every evening. It had been just she and Henry in the house for nearly a month, their routine was solidified now, even though they both missed having Elizabeth with them. Together, they readied for work every morning before going their separate ways and then in the evening they did this- making and eating dinner together before retiring somewhere in the house to work, often together.

At the end of their day, they crawled side by side into bed.

Her phone ringing drew Nadine out of her thoughts. “It’s Elizabeth!” She called to Henry as the line connected. “Good evening.”

There was a sigh across the line. “How are you and Henry?”

“We’re fine. He’s here too. We just finished watching your speech today, you looked good.” As Henry settled back beside her, she put the phone on speaker and held it between them.

“Thanks. Mike thinks because there was such a huge turnout today that we need to do an impromptu second one in the morning while we’re here.” It was clear by her tone that she wasn’t keen on that idea. “They think they had to turn away almost as many people as who came because we reached the limit.”

“Wow! That’s good though, it means you’re getting the support.”

“Yes, well… we conferenced in Matt and Jay and had a staff meeting about it. Matt, as you can expect, had words for Mike because he wants a fresh speech for me to give by ten AM which means the speech has to be in my hand by like five. Jay thinks… Jay thinks it’s a great idea on paper for a few reasons. He thinks showing that I can roll with the punches on changes in my schedule will show Americans that I’ll be able to do that as president.”

“Because all the rolling as Secretary of State hasn’t done that already?”

“Right? He also thinks if we don’t give people who were turned away a chance to participate, they’ll simply turn their backs on me completely because they’ll feel snubbed.”

“But?”

Elizabeth chuckled. “But we’re about to go do this stupid dinner thing and that’ll run late, and Jay knows Blake has been guarding my sleep schedule like it’s the crown jewels. So, Jay deferred to him on the subject.”

“Well, sleep is important, Babe.” Henry smiled. “Even for you.”

“I know… I miss you guys. Have I said that lately?”

“Not today. But hey, you’ll be home soon, and Nadine and I will take care of you until you can’t stand us anymore.”

“…Fine.” There was a noise in the background. “Hold on, I think that’s Blake telling me it’s about time to go do this dinner.” They listened to the hotel door click open and then Blake’s soft ‘ _ten minute warning, Ma’am_ ’.

“Babe?”

“Yeah.”

“Tell him we say thank you and to remember to call Stevie tonight.”

“Okay.” She repeated the message before they made out the door closing again. “Well, I need to change still. I’ll text one of you once I know whether we’re doing an extra half day here or moving on as planned.”

Once the call had ended, Henry took the phone and left it on the table, leaning back along the couch as he tugged Nadine with him. Nestled together, his eyes slipped shut. “I could almost sleep here with you.”

“We would both regret it come morning.”

After a beat, he chuckled. “True.”

“Even after I retired, I never really felt disconnected from Elizabeth’s work, from that world. It’s odd now with her gone like this, doing something I’m not familiar with, I find myself longing for her for the first time. I actually feel the loss of her being gone.”

“She’s in good hands, though. All of her campaign staff are people you’d personally vetted at one time or another-”

“Except Mike.”

“Well, except him. My point is, you trust them with her career, you have for years.”

“I know I just wish…”

“You wish you could be more involved.” He pressed a kiss just behind her ear. “I get it, Darling, I really do. But I know you. You’d work yourself sick. I know it’s not the way you want it, but you’ll still get to fill in for Blake from time to time and that’s better than nothing, right?”

“You’re right.” She admitted. She’d always been that way. She’d get so determined to push through what she felt needed to happen that basics like eating and sleeping were shucked aside as wastes of time. It’d made her excellent as Chief of Staff. Before Elizabeth had come along, and even on occasion after, just about the only person she couldn’t run circles around in DC was Russell. It’d also left her more than once so tired she’d begun hearing or seeing things that weren’t there, and more times than she’d ever admit subsisting on tea and the intention of stopping in the breakroom for a day old pastry.

“I love you too much to let you do that to yourself.” After several minutes, he spoke again. “I’m thinking ice cream.”

Nadine pushed up and got off the couch, trailing behind as he headed to the kitchen. “Sounds good.” She picked out two clean spoons from the drying rack and pulled down some bowls.

“Uh, Nadine?”

“There has to be some in there, Henry, I only bought it last week and you and I are the only ones living here.”

“No, that’s not…” She turned around as he pointed at something. “What’s the green in the ice cube tray?”

“Oh, that? We used up all the pickles yesterday.” She smirked and waited.

He blinked at her a minute. “…And?”

“It’s pickle juice.”

“…Pickle…juice…”

“I made pickle-cicles.” She playfully toyed with one spoon with her tongue.

“I- okay. That’s a new one for me.” He shook his head with a chuckle. “Anything else surprising I should watch out for in here?”

“Not right now.” She arched one brow at him.

After another moment, he pulled the tub of ice cream out and handed it to her.

=MS=

When they pulled into the lot, the campaign bus and fleet of vehicles were already there with people milling around everywhere with their gear. Henry put the Jeep into park and reached across the console for Nadine’s hand. “I know this is the hard part.” It always would be. While they were in public like this, she had to be just the close friend, not the wife. That both Henry and Elizabeth were keenly aware made it easier, though, to stomach. “Let’s go find our wife.”

Nadine smiled, it sounded like a wonderful idea. They hadn’t seen her in person in a month. Getting out on her side, she tried to look casual as she rushed toward the largest group of people, assuming Elizabeth would be there, but Blake’s voice stopped her.

“She’s still on the bus.” He spoke quietly. “Said she’d wait for the two of you.” He grinned when her eyes lit up. “I’ll keep an eye out.”

“Thank you.” She turned, catching Henry’s attention before rushing eagerly up the bus steps. “Elizabeth?” And then she saw her, sitting in a captains chair looking tired and tanned and smiling. Rushing forward, she let Elizabeth pull her into her lap as they kissed hard, not separating until they heard Henry laughing from the top of the steps.

Looking over her shoulder, Nadine grinned. “She’s home.”

He was beaming as he watched them together. “I see that. I don’t think she’s smiled that big all month, Babe. If there’s nothing left to do here?” He waited for Elizabeth to shake her head. “How about we take her home and welcome her properly?” Walking up the aisle, he leaned around Nadine to kiss Elizabeth. “You both look so happy to be back together again.”

Nadine watched him pull back before turning to Liz again. She felt giddy with excitement, the feeling surprised her, but she wasn’t about to hide it away.

“Knock, knock!” Blake’s voice called from the door. “I’m alone, by the way.”

“You can come up, Blake.” Elizabeth called back, keeping her arms around Nadine’s waist as they watched his head appear over the front divider. “What do you need?”

He waved his phone aimlessly. “Could I get a ride to the house with you guys? Stevie’s stuck at work… I don’t want to cramp your welcome home party.”

“Sure, we’ll give you a ride.”

=MS=

She couldn’t help it, the entire short ride home, Nadine had done most of the talking as she’d chattered on about the things Elizabeth had missed. Once they’d walked through the front door, she’d had enough of waiting and pressed Liz against the wall, kissing her soundly as she melded their bodies together. “I missed you.”

Elizabeth chuckled. “I missed you too, Darling.” She combed her hands through Nadine’s curls. “What are we doing first this week?”

Nadine shook her head. “I didn’t make any plans. You need your rest.”

“I’ll rest. I also want to spend time with you.” She kissed her. “Maybe we can dress up and have a date night, hm? I think we’ve all deserved that. Oh! I did some asking about schedules and not this next time out, but the one after, the one you’re coming for a week, guess what?”

“What?”

“We’re going to be near Ruth. Since I haven’t met your nieces yet or this great nephew of yours… I thought we could see them.”

“That’s… I’d love to introduce you officially!”

“Good. Now, in the meantime what do you say about us finding where Henry’s wandered off to and then going upstairs?” She nudged her away from the wall. “I think we need to start with some serious snuggling and see where that leads.”


	43. Chapter 43

“I think everything’s ready.” Nadine dropped her sunglasses on one of the seats and put her hands on her hips, squinting through the pulled shades over the bus windows. “Daisy is excited over the reporters who are here, I wasn’t really listening when she said why.”

Elizabeth laughed as she tied her shoes. “Are you tired of the road yet?”

This was Elizabeth’s third leg of her campaign and the first Nadine had joined. Ten days travelling the western US, a binder Blake had handed her outlining exactly how to manage Elizabeth, as if she needed that, in her hands. “Not as yet.” But then… they were only on day four.

Somewhere outside the bus they could hear Daisy talking to someone, most likely Mike, but tuned her out as Elizabeth stood and caught up to Nadine, covering the hands on her hips with her own and kissing her. They weren’t worried about being seen, the bus had tinted windows and with the shades drawn as well, they were in privacy. “Good. It’s a long day today, but then we have a break before our next stop.”

Pulling her hands free, Nadine cupped her face and brushed feather-light kisses back. “Knock ‘em dead, My Love.” She chuckled. Mike’s footsteps were crunching across the gravel toward the door, but they didn’t care, it wasn’t like he didn’t know anyway. “I won’t be far away.”

“I’m glad.” She answered over Mike’s heavy footfalls up the front steps. “I think I’m about to be yelled at to hurry up.”

“He really hates that I’m travelling with you.”

“I know.” She laughed and kissed her again. The footsteps stopped and they carried on kissing, waiting for Mike to make some remark.

“Mom?!”

Nadine wrenched herself away, whipping around even as Elizabeth’s were still mostly around her waist, one hand rising instinctively to wipe at her mouth. “Roman?!” Her heart was racing. “What are you doing here?”

“My girlfriend and I… we moved to the Bay area a couple years back. Aunt Ruth said you’d be with the McCord campaign and that we should try and see you…” His eyes drifted over her shoulder; his face was hard. “I was going to introduce our daughter to you, but… What the hell is this? You were… kissing her? I- I don’t understand… Isn’t she _married_?!”

Nadine stuttered a moment before taking several steps toward him. “We- I- we need to talk… Have a seat and I’ll- I’ll try and explain everything… Please?” She waited, anticipation filling her with dread, for him to nod.

“Hold on… Let me tell Shindy to come up as well.”

Through the window, she could see a young woman with black hair just below the bus window. “O- okay.” When he vanished, she turned back to Elizabeth. “What do I do?”

“Talk to him… He didn’t know?”

“I- we haven’t been on speaking terms in… years. We tried to restart our relationship, but it just… we couldn’t manage.”

“I’m sorry.” She pulled her in for a quick hug and then backed away. “And I’m sorry that I have to go out there and look like nothing’s wrong while you’re suffering.” They both looked up when Roman reappeared, the woman beside him with a toddler girl in her arms.

=MS=

Heightened anxiety made her skin crawl. Nadine walked slowly beside her son along the small grassy area near the parking lot. She didn’t know what to do with her hands and she couldn’t take her eyes off the dark-haired girl toddling along, collecting sticks and blades of grass.

“So…” Roman finally started again after the silence had grown uncomfortable. “You’re really in a relationship with them?”

“Yes.” She’d carefully spelled out her life in an abridged format for him already.

“And… And Aunt Ruth knows?”

Nadine nodded. “She was there for the commitment or vow ceremony, whatever you want to call it.”

“Wow.” He shook his head. “She did not tell me.”

“Their kids know… some coworkers… her brother. And I’m… I’m happy. Really happy. I know it’s weird and taboo and it isn’t easy having to keep it hidden, but it’s my life and this is how I want to live it.”

He stopped, glancing to his daughter before looking her way. “I- I get that. I really do. I just… My own mother is in a long-term committed relationship and doesn’t even bother to tell me?”

“My only son has a baby and moves to California and doesn’t even bother to tell _me_?” She clamped her mouth shut. “Sorry.”

“No… you’re right… I’m not an innocent victim.”

This time it’s her eyes that drift to the little girl. Roman hadn’t officially introduced her, and Nadine could feel the hum of desperation to meet her _granddaughter_ thrumming in her veins. “What’s her name?”

“Ruby. Shindy was set on it.”

“Ruby.” She whispered it, let it roll around in her mouth. Overwhelmed tears sprang to her eyes and she turned away in horror at the sudden display of emotion. “Excuse me.” She walked ten steps, doing her best to compose herself again as quickly as possible. Her heart longed to rush across the grassy field and find Elizabeth, it wouldn’t be hard, but she _can’t_ , she’s as good as alone for the next hour or so.

“Mom… here.”

When she turned back, Roman’s right there, Ruby in his arms, and then he’s holding the child out and instinct had her accepting the girl before she could process it. Ruby squirmed, angry that her freedom had been temporarily taken away, and it’s been far too long since she’d held a squirmy child for any length of time, Chloe and Johanna notwithstanding, but her body seemed to remember what to do with ease.

“You… you look good, Mom…. You look good as a grandma.”

And just like that, the waterworks started again.

=MS=

She couldn’t breathe. She hadn’t been able to catch her breath since Roman handed her Ruby and while the tears come and go, the shaking never really stopped. Her chest ached, she pressed her right hand against her breastbone, sliding it up to feel the way her muscles are taught along her throat.

The rally is mostly over now, but she’s still on the bus… alone. The agreement was she would be in the crowd and then at Elizabeth’s side as one of the staff, but she couldn’t bring herself to get off the bus.

Her mind raced. There’ve been entirely too many emotions so far today and she couldn’t work out where to start and it’s hot and getting hotter by the minute.

Roman had sworn he’d never say a word, he didn’t want attention that would surely come as her son any more than they wanted it to come. And, he had added, he was pretty sure Elizabeth was the only viable candidate running.

But her skin was crawling now and she couldn’t sit still because of it, couldn’t breathe because of the heat, and now she couldn’t think clearly and Nadine wondered if this was what dying felt like.

Footsteps rushed up the steps and Nadine’s wishing for a place to hide already, but even more so when it’s Mike, _of all fucking people_ , who appeared and then froze, eyes like saucers, before he rushed back down the steps again, hollering for one of the aides to ‘find Bess ASAP and get her here, no one else’. The door slammed shut, cutting them off from the noise of the outside world and then a fresh bottle of water was in her hands as he’s sat by her side, a hand rubbing her back in an attempt to comfort her.   
Shh, it’s okay. Whatever it is… it’s okay.”

Three minutes passed and she’d really like to yell at him to leave, but she’s afraid to be alone and then finally- _finally_ \- the latch clicked and then the door slammed and it’s Elizabeth hurrying to her side as Mike stood, swearing he didn’t do it, and that he’s so quick to defend himself would’ve made her laugh any other day, but right now she just wanted to be held.

…And then they’re alone.

…And then Elizabeth’s holding her in her arms, cradling her as they shifted to lay together on the bench seat and then…

… And then she fell apart completely.

=MS=

After the panic attack came the emotion hangover and Nadine’s thankful that while no one but Mike knew about them as a couple, everyone followed Elizabeth’s demand to give them privacy.

“Sex helps, you know.”

Nadine didn’t bother cracking her eyes open, but also didn’t try hiding the smirk.

“Lowers blood pressure, all those feel good chemicals, I’m not kidding.” Nadine could hear as she sifted in the seat opposite. “I mean… in the absence of time or opportunity for a good orgasm, chocolate helps, but that’s not as fun.”

This time she did crack her eyes open. “You just want to have sex on the bus.”

“No. What I _want_ is for my wife, who had a really rough day, to feel better. If that happens to involve me shoving my hand down her pants and getting her off a few times, well then… that’s just a sacrifice I’ll have to make.” Elizabeth stared at her for a minute. “Are you and Roman okay?”

“We’re… not not okay.”

“And Shindy? That’s her name, right?”

Nadine nodded. “She seemed nice.”

“And the baby?”

“Ruby… I have a granddaughter named Ruby.” She paused. “ _We_ have a granddaughter named Ruby.” That made Elizabeth laugh and Nadine thinks that that sound alone might be just what she needs to feel better. “I held her. And then I… made a fool of myself.”

“You were overwhelmed.”

“He wasn’t sure about trying yet again on our relationship.”

“I’m sorry.”

“He promised, though, to send Ruth pictures of Ruby often to forward to me.”

“That’s good, right?” Elizabeth leaned forward. “It’s a start.”

“Maybe.”


	44. Chapter 44

Day eight was running much more smoothly than day four had done, but then Nadine knew she wouldn’t be facing the surprise of her son appearing without warning. It was easy to see, in the way Mike ran the campaign as if no one needed rest or food, just why Blake was obsessive to the point of aggressive about his part in the whole production and secretly she was looking forward to relinquishing that particular job. The best part, though, had been that in each hotel, Elizabeth had made sure they had adjoining rooms so no one would be any the wiser about where they really slept.

This morning Nadine had woke, naked, beside Elizabeth just as daylight filtered in through the window. They’d slept face to face, fingers of one hand threaded together. She’d been looking forward to this day, this stop, because it was the stop where they were meeting up with Ruth and the girls, Ruth’s husband Ralph was away on business again, and then Julie’s son Ethan, who was now nine.

The team had gotten to the event site early and Nadine was seated on the end of the stage reading over the latest talking points of Elizabeth’s speech as the final preparations were made to the sound equipment. It was going to be the biggest event for this leg, in a large outdoor amphitheater that had made Elizabeth pause when she’d stepped on stage earlier.

“Hey, Nadine.” Daisy sauntered over. “Did you look at Matt’s revisions?”

She held up the tablet in her hand. “Doing it now.”

Daisy leaned her arms on the stage facing the opposite direction. “Polling numbers look good.”

She answered absently. “I heard.”

Can- Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.” Her eyes didn’t leave the speech on the screen.

“You and Elizabeth…” Those three words, in that questioning tone, yanked Nadine’s eyes away from the tablet. Daisy hesitated, then shook her head, averting her eyes. “They told me to keep my mouth shut.”

“…Who?”

Her eyes darted up for a second and then away again. “Jay… when I asked him what he thought… And then Blake… when Jay told him I’d asked it…”

Silent, Nadine thumbed the ring on her left hand for a minute, until Daisy shifted nervously. In moments like this, there was still that old divide, that old feel of her as the boss and whoever she was talking to as the subordinate. She placed the tablet to her right, out of the way, and then laid her left hand flat on the stage. When Daisy’s eyes caught on the ring, she finally spoke. “The red is my birth stone… the other two are Henry and Elizabeth.” She waited, hoping that Daisy would catch on. The ring itself wasn’t something that drew anyone’s curiosity normally.

Finally, Daisy met her eyes. “W- when?”

Nadine drew a deep breath. “A while. The right answer really depends on what question you’re asking and all of it I’d rather keep private.”

“…Oh.”

“It’s not that we’re ashamed, we just…”

“Don’t want it out there.”

“Yes.” She let out the breath she’d been holding. “Also, I’m not comfortable saying anything more without letting Elizabeth know. It’s not that she won’t want me to share, she’ll be fine with whatever I’m comfortable saying, I just… she’s under a lot of stress and I don’t want her to feel blindsided.”

Daisy studied her and Nadine waited for whatever she was going to say in reply. “You love her.”

She couldn’t help the smile that broke across her face, nor the slight blush she felt warming her cheeks. She ducked her head.

“Hey.” Daisy’s voice was softer, gentler, and it made Nadine risk glancing back up. “I’m happy for you.” Before Nadine could process the change, Daisy switched gears, suddenly asking her at normal volume to let her know when she’d finished reading over the speech and that was walking away.

Blinking, Nadine picked the tablet back up as several staffers walked their way and she found herself thankful that she had friends she could count on to not only be supportive, but protective as well.

=MS=

She didn’t realize Ruth or the others had finally turned up just before the rally started until the full weight of Ethan crashed into her, knocking her off balance as he wrapped her in a bear hug. Julie was already admonishing her son for his behavior as Nadine turned, hugging him back.

“Aunt Nadine, we thought we’d never find you here!”

“But you did.” She greeted her sister and nieces as well. “And you’re just in time, Elizabeth has to go up soon. Come this way, though, we get to stand back here and watch away from the crowd.” She kept hold of Ethan as she weaved through the various staffers to a small space in the fence and slipped through. Around the next corner, she found Elizabeth arguing with Mike. “Elizabeth.”

She turned, lighting up when she spotted Ruth. “Ruth! It’s so good to see you again.” Her eyes dropped to the boy hanging off Nadine’s waist. “And you must be Ethan?”

“And this is Julie and Sarah.” She smiled as they all introduced themselves.

“I’m so excited to get to know you, but Mike’s about to shove me on stage.” Elizabeth laughed.

Once she’d left, Ruth turned to her sister. “You are as adorable as ever.”

=MS=

She’d arranged for them to have a private room at a local restaurant, giving them all the freedom to talk openly. By the time they returned to the hotel, Nadine was exhausted from the long day. Ignoring her normal nighttime routine for the moment, she dropped face-down on the bed.

“Is anyone in your family _not_ wonderful?” Elizabeth asked from the bathroom doorway.

Nadine snorted. “I could give you a list.”

“Your nieces are as charming as your sister.”

“She taught them well.”

There was the sound of shoes hitting the floor and then hands were tugging her shoes off her feet as well before Elizabeth was crawling up the bed straddling her body. “You’ve been almost glowing today.” She began massaging through Nadine’s shirt, finding each muscle group and giving it the attention it deserved.

“I had a conversation this morning.”

“With?”

“Daisy. She knows about us now.”

“Really?”

“Not everything.” She groaned as Elizabeth hit a particular spot. “Jut that we’re all together. Ow, there there, do more in that spot.”

“I just- I’m surprised you told her, I guess. You two aren’t overly close.”

“She asked.”

“Ah.” She frowned. “How are you this knotted right there?” She moved her hands to the side, following the knotted muscles. “You’re in pain, aren’t you?”

She opened her mouth to deny it, but Elizabeth’s fingers found a sore spot and she hissed.

“Have you been following doctor’s orders?”

“…Mostly.”

“Except?”

Nadine sighed. “I’ve been helping with some of the set-up and tear-down and then loading.”

“Requiring tons of bending and lifting when I’ve been busy?”

“Yes.”

“Nadine…” She slid to the bed and rolled her to the side so they were face to face again. “I love you, you crazy woman. I would really like for you to be around for a long time to come, so please stop doing the things you’re not supposed to do. Please?”

“Fine.”

“Thank you.” She kissed her. “Now, how about we shower and change and then we can call Henry and see how he’s holding up all alone.” Elizabeth got up, tugging her by the arm. “Come on. I’ll even wash you so you don’t have to.”

Nadine smirked. “Does that mean I can wash you as well?”


	45. Chapter 45

During a week and a half break in campaigning, Henry and Elizabeth retreated to the farm for a moment of quiet while Nadine stayed in Georgetown on her own. Sitting at her desk in the office, she focused on reading through a pile of research papers while soft music played from the next room. She was enjoying the time to herself, she didn’t get that much anymore, though she missed both of them at night when she was the one crawling into their bed all alone. The first night she’d toughed it out, it was silly to care about sleeping alone when she’d been doing it most of her adult life, but the second night she bypassed her own pajamas for one of Henry’s shirts and Elizabeth’s soft sleep pants, deciding it was silly to torture herself unnecessarily.

Putting one paper aside and reaching for another, she heard the front door open and assumed it was Stevie or Blake stopping by. Either one of them had a habit of turning up either for a chat or a bite to eat, often looking for a moment to hide from the real world in a place that offered respite and understanding. She was surprised when, instead, Jason stepped into the doorway.

“Where’s- where’s Mom and Dad?”

They still didn’t have the best relationship, something that bothered her, especially in the recent wake of things still not going well with Roman. “The Farm till Sunday.” When Jason was home, Nadine found herself usually retreating, giving him space and time with his parents without her presence being thrust upon him.

“Oh.” He seemed to sink in on himself.

“Something I can help with?” Unfortunately for both of them, if he needed something, she was the only one around to help.

“…No.” A duffle bag dropped to the floor and he shuffled away.

Waiting a moment, Nadine debated before abandoning her papers and following him. “Jason? You can talk to me about anything you know.” Watching his back, the way he was so like Henry and almost as tall as Roman made her begin to feel the weight of the divide she’d allowed to carry on growing.

“I’m fine.”

“Okay. If you decide you’re not later though, I’m here.”

He only nodded before retreating upstairs.

Looking around for a minute, she decided not to return to what she should be doing, but instead began digging through the cabinets and refrigerator until she found what she needed before pulling out pans to start cooking. She was familiar with Jason’s favorite meal, had seen Henry make it enough times that she was able to recreate it from memory. Twenty minutes later, the stairs creaked as Jason slowly reappeared, curious about the smells wafting up. She smiled up at him, looking over the rims of her glasses. “Hungry?”

He looked around. “You made this for me?” It was clear he couldn’t believe she’d done such a thing. It wasn’t that she never cooked for the family, she’d been helping in the kitchen since they told the kids, but often she cooked with Henry or one of the girls and almost always, the food was for the family… This time she’d cooked just for him.

“Well, there’s no one else around to eat it.” Nadine gave him a wry smile.

“… Right… Th- thanks.”

She passed him an empty plate and let him serve himself, not at all surprised at the amount he took. Plating some for herself, she joined him at the table. “So… What brings you home this weekend?”

“I, um… it’s stupid.”

“I doubt that.” Jason was no more or less impulsive than she knew any boy his age to be. She could remember the things Roman had gotten up to at a similar age and assumed she only ever knew a fraction of it. Her own parents certainly never knew everything.

“My roommate said something and I got pissed at him. I stormed out and decided to come home.”

She waited, knowing staying silent would get him talking eventually.

“You know, Mom and Dad do that too.”

“Do what?”

“Not talk and just wait for us to.”

That made her laugh. “It always works. I used it a lot before.”

He didn’t carry on right away though, instead eating heartily. “This is good.” He finally said.

“Thank you.”

“Did you like working for Mom?”

That question wasn’t what she was expecting him to ask and she had to think a moment. “Yes. I liked working in public service. It’s hard work, but… I felt like I was making a difference. And then once I worked at State, both before your mom and then for her, it was… the hardest and best work I’d ever done.”

“But what about working _for_ Mom? What’s she like to work for?”

She smiled at him and tipped her head to the side. “Fair.”

“Fair?”

She shrugged one shoulder. “Your mom is very driven but doesn’t take herself too seriously. When I first started working for her, I found that out quickly. I also learned that she was fair. No matter what else was going on in the office or in the world, whether she agreed with something I’d done or not, she was always fair in her response.” Her mind went back to her tearful confession about sleeping with Vincent, her involvement in the coup, her failed handling of the microloans program. There’d been a lot in the early days Elizabeth could have, _should have_ , fired her for… But every moment, every transgression, was weighed on its own and Elizabeth had always responded with fairness.

“Oh… I guess that makes sense. It doesn’t always feel fair at the time.”

“No, it doesn’t.” She studied him. “I enjoyed working for her; and for most of the time I did it, I couldn’t fathom giving that up for a deeper relationship. I believe I told her as much along the way. I loved my job more than anything else until… Until I couldn’t love it anymore.” She gave a small huff as her lips twitched in a small smile. “But then when that day came, I had your mom… I had your dad… I was tired, finished, and I had this wonderful thing to look forward to so that I could walk away.”

She wasn’t’ sure if that was the answer he was searching for, probably far to sentimental and mushy, but after several beats, he seemed ready to talk. “My roommate said she’d make a horrible president because women are to emotional to make good bosses.”

“And how many jobs has your roommate had?”

“None.”

Nadine nodded absently. “I have never known your mother to make a kneejerk reaction to anything. At times it has made arguing her decisions an impossible task be we can’t accuse her of not thinking it through.”

“Are you happy being with them?”

The topic change made her pause. “Yes. And I’m thankful your family has welcomed me so warmly.” Well… the kids had come around for the most part and civility was the norm.

“Why are you always so nice to us? Me? I know I’ve been…”

“Determined to maintain the status quo in a life that’s all too often changing?”

He finally looked up at her.

“The overly simplified and not entirely accurate answer is that you were… are… a child and you reacted, lashed out, like a child. I am the adult and it’s my job to shoulder that like an adult… You remind me a lot of Roman, actually.”

“Who?”

She realized then that she’d never mentioned her son to the kids. “My son. He’s about Blake’s age.”

“Oh. You’ve never mentioned him. I- I didn’t know you have kids. Do you- do you have any others?”

“No, just Roman. I never had a great relationship with him. We try, from time to time, but I think there’s just been too much time. I don’t talk about him because that relationship hurts me to think about. Just like it hurts as well that you and I haven’t found our footing yet.”

“Does he live around here?”

She shook her head. “He used to live in another country, but he’s moved back to the US. He and his girlfriend and their little girl. He… He did his best, I think, to understand my relationship with your parents, but for now it looks like we’ll go on living in different worlds.”

“I’m sorry… That you can’t do the mom and son thing… Do you at least get to see your granddaughter?”

She had to blink back tears. “I didn’t know about her until recently, I got to meet her, but… I don’t know if or when I’ll see her again.”

“So… We’re all the kids you really have then.”

“In a manner of speaking. I’d like to think of the three of you as my kids. If you’re okay with that.”

His head bobbed and then he returned to finishing his meal, gathering her plate as well when he stood and carried his dishes to the sink. From her place at the table, she listened as he rinsed them and loaded the dishwasher. A minute later, a tap on her shoulder made her look up before he hugged her. “I’d like for you to think of me as your kid.” He pulled away. “And I’m- I’m sorry… About the other stuff.”

She patted his arm. “I understand… How long are you staying?”

“Till Sunday night. I have class Monday morning.”

“Well, I have to go to the store in the morning, you’re welcome to come along and help out.”

“Y-yeah. I can do that.” He turned to head back up he stairs.

“Bright and early, Jason.” She grinned knowing he’d spend most of the night up on some device or other.

“I’ll be ready!” He called back, a smile now in his voice.


	46. Chapter 46

They were on a countdown now, the final leg of what had turned out to be a very grueling, nearly eighteen months of campaigning. Nadine had done her best to be supportive from home each day and from the sidelines each time she'd rode along. She felt split no matter where she was- Henry wasn't allowed to go out and as the months had progressed, Elizabeth had been home less and less. When Nadine was in DC with Henry, her heart and arms longed for Elizabeth, ached for the loneliness she knew the other woman was experiencing; and when she was on the road, she missed Henry's embrace, she missed the way he would stand behind her and hold her close, placing kisses behind her ear.

It felt like a no-win situation.

Being the final push, the support vehicles were packed with nearly every member of the team, all eager to get their candidate over the finish line. Nadine's job, now more so than ever before, was to simply keep Elizabeth moving- physically, mentally, emotionally. She found herself spending hour upon hour in the bus, even when they were at a stop, sometimes reading and other times making decisions on what would be the best use of their limited personal time. 

A rally had just finished and Nadine stood waiting as Elizabeth eventually climbed onto the bus with feet dragging and head already dropping forward. For a split second, Blake appeared on the steps behind her without a word, meeting Nadine's eyes just long enough to be sure she was ready and waiting to take over. Their own personal transition team of two. She didn't really know still why no one else had so much as sent a questioning glance her way as to why she hung around, the former Chief of Staff with no real role to play because she has carefully avoided stepping on Jay's toes, which hasn't been hard. Jay has been kind and considerate of when it seemed he perceived as an uncomfortable position for her and sought out her thoughts regularly. 

As for everyone else… well… it didn't miss her that maybe Daisy gave her a glimpse of the why months ago when she'd unknowingly admitted to Jay and Blake circling the wagons and shutting her questions down. Maybe she was left alone because they, the real bosses if they were all honest, had declared her to be undisturbed.

Their mighty reach, though, did not extend to Mike, who didn't even cow to Elizabeth. Mike, who dared ride on the bus even when they got their tiny inner circle to squeeze into cars and vans. Mike, who seemed entirely unaware of the added stress and irritation he was creating for Nadine by refusing to give them some peace.

"You went a bit off script, Bess, I know we're at the tail end here, but you can't be doing that and you know it." Mike had followed Elizabeth onboard and now stood, towered, over where Elizabeth was already trying to lay down as Nadine tugged her glasses and shoes off. Beneath them all, the bus began rolling.

She spoke over her shoulder, pulling a light blanket down and making sure the pillows wouldn’t fall. "Mike, give her a break."

He ignored her, not that she was at all surprised. "We have three hours before we hit the next stop. Let's look over where you felt you needed to go rogue and figure out how to make it so you don't screw up again."

"Mike…" She had warning in her tone, but even as she tried to maintain her place between them, Elizabeth pushed herself back upright.

"Yep." Nadine didn't miss the exhaustion in her tone. "Give me the speech." 

"Good." He held out the tablet, but Nadine pushed it away.

"No."

"Nadine." 

"Mike. It is three-hour drive and that speech isn't even till tomorrow morning anyway. Let her sleep." Turning to Elizabeth, her voice softened. "Lie down." A hand to her shoulder, she pressed her back.

"You don't call the shots." Mike snapped at her, pushing her still outstretched hand away.

"She's exhausted and there is no benefit to doing this now." It'd been a long couple weeks, she was over Mike's bullying. "I think we need to pull over so you can ride somewhere else." 

"Why? I thought she needed sleep, not you feeling her up."

Quietly from behind her, Nadine heard Elizabeth tell him, them, to stop.

"Look, you have no power here.” His arms went out as he slow turned, ignoring Elizabeth just like he’d ignored her. "Look around, Nadine. Everyone in the damned campaign just humors you so you don't get hurt feelings. You're a has-been, lingering around searching for her glory days."

She clenched her fists but held back from taking the bait.

"And you know another thing? This whole bit where you stick your nose in? It makes my job ten times harder. We don't need you here and no one misses you when you're gone. I know you're her little fuck buddy or sexual support or whatever the hell you're telling yourself you mean to her, but your job is to wait around until she has needs. That's how it works with good ol' Bess. I know it-" He pressed his free hand to his chest. "I would think after being on call for her this long you'd know it too."

Nadine wanted to lash out to get him to stop. "It's not like that." A hand wrapped around her lower arm, but she didn’t look away.

He laughed. "Are you kidding me?"

“Mike, stop.” The voice was hard, forceful, and it made both of them turn. “You need to stop now.”

Silenced, he nodded and then backed up, sitting on the seat across from where she’d been laying. “Fine. Whatever the hell you two want.”

His words, no matter how much she knew them to be wrong, still cut deep. Turning, she looked down at Elizabeth. “You need to sleep. We were up very early this morning.”

“Not if you two are going to just start fighting again.”

“We won’t.” She shot a look at Mike. “I’m sorry. You don’t need this from any of us right now.”

Elizabeth’s hand slipped down and into hers, tugging her onto the bench seat. Her eyes were already closed again as she leaned in. “You were just looking after me.” Nadine felt as she kissed the curve of her neck and then her shoulder and blushed. “I do need to go over the new speech though.”

“You will. Once we get to the hotel.” Nadine felt as Elizabeth’s weight sagged into her side. “Come on. Lay down properly.” She scooted forward to stand and get out of the way, but Elizabeth’s arms kept her in place. “Liz…”

“Next stop you don’t stay behind.”

“Okay…” She didn’t really care either way, sometimes whether she did or not came down to simple timing or logistics.

“We don’t need her, Bess.”

The reminder Mike was there made Elizabeth open her eyes and straighten again. Nadine watched as something seemed to click in her mind. “How could you say that about me?”

“W- what?”

“What you said.” She waved her hand to the back of the bus as if they could somehow see the words said miles back. “That I use people and- and like I don’t care about them?”

He shrugged. “Isn’t that what you did to me?”

The air in the bus went still. “It wasn’t meant to be that way… You ruined that by lying to me.” Nadine watched as she licked her lower lip and then chewed on it a minute. “Nadine’s right… you need to ride somewhere else.”

“Wha- Bess! Come on!”

She shook her head. “You’re a decent attorney, Mike and a damned good fixer… We’ll see yet on the campaign manager side of things, but… You have consistently failed to respect my need for peace and privacy and you’ve fought everyone else when they’ve pushed the issue. The others put up with you because it’s their job and at least they’re being compensated for it, but… You can’t attack my wife like that and not face consequences.”

A look of bewilderment crossed his face. “Your what?”

“I think we need to wait until the hotel to talk further.” She turned to Nadine. “Please go ask the driver to find a place to stop for a minute.”

“Of course.”

=MS=

Nadine knew there were more than enough seats in the vehicles that no one actually needed to ride in the bus with Elizabeth, so she was surprised when they’d stopped, that Jay and Blake climbed aboard before they were on the road again.

“Don’t mind us.” Jay waved off, sitting in one of the captain’s chairs at the front. “Go sleep or whatever.”

She hesitated though, confused.

Getting comfortable, he finally realized she was waiting. “Mike said there’d been a problem, that you two were pissed at him. We decided that we’d just ride up here by the door from here on out and keep watch.”

“Oh.” She looked to the back where Elizabeth was already laying down. “Thank you I guess.” Turning away, she stopped by the bench and knelt down, brushing Elizabeth’s hair out of her face. “Get some rest.”


	47. Chapter 47

Running her fingers through her hair, Nadine turned side to side checking for any missed sections, a curling iron hovering out to the side in her right hand. To her right, in front of the other mirror, Elizabeth was finishing up with a tube of mascara. They were getting ready to go out to dinner, the three of them, and as often happened when they needed to get ready at the same time, Henry’s vanity had become Nadine’s.

From beyond the bathroom doorway, both of them were startled by the sound of something colliding with cardboard boxes and then Henry swearing under his breath. Smirking, Nadine twisted around in time to see him shoving shoes back into boxes. “You okay?”

“Why do women need so many shoes?” His words made Elizabeth bark in laughter. “I mean, don’t you two wear the same size? Can’t you, I don’t know… share?” He paused. “There are two of the exact same shoes here.” He stumbled into the doorway holding two identical boxes. “Why?”

“We both liked them.” When he didn’t seem to follow, Nadine elaborated. “We might want to wear them at the same time.”

“Give it up, Babe. Women like shoes.” Elizabeth laughed again. “Nadine _really_ likes shoes.”

Henry glanced into the top of the closet where a section of space had been made for ‘special shoes’, the ones whose price tag had made him more than willing to have them stored up off the floor. “I’ve noticed.”

“In a pinch, sure, I can borrow a lot of Liz’s clothes, but it wouldn’t fit quite the same.”

“Two years into retirement and her wardrobe still costs more than mine.”

“A good tailor is work every penny.”

Henry vanished from the doorway and returned seconds later, hands empty, and stared at them both getting ready. “We need to renovate the farmhouse so the master has three vanities. I think there’s enough space for a small one on the other side of the window.”

They both blinked at him in confusion.

“It’d be nice if I had my own space to get ready.” He waved at their things spread out everywhere with a grin. “It makes no sense to go through that hassle here, but once we move, we can customize however we want. Being all cramped isn’t a long term solution, but we’ll be there for years.”

“I-” Nadine turned and shared a look with Elizabeth, in shock that it sounded decided already. “I didn’t know a discussion had happened about moving. I mean… I know if you don’t win this election then you’re done with responsibilities in DC, I just…”

Silently, Elizabeth put her things away, taking the curling iron from Nadine’s hand and turning it off before putting it aside as well. Once that was done, she tugged Nadine close. “Before _you_ …” She grazed a thumb across Nadine’s cheek. “Our plan was always to retreat back to the farm when I was done as Secretary. Of course, there was no intention then that I would try to run for president. I think, in the absence of revisiting the subject, Henry and I both have been defaulting to that plan. But that was all before.” Her thumb stopped and she cupped her cheek. “Now we have you.” She punctuated the last word with a kiss.

“I’m not opposed to moving, I do enjoy it there. I just… think there should be a conversation.”

“I agree.” Henry jumped back in. “We both agree with you. I’m sorry for not thinking through what I said before I said it.” He moved to stand behind Nadine, holding her between them when he pulled Elizabeth close. “Let’s get through the election and then we’ll know whether that decision is for a year from now or four to eight.”

That sounded reasonable. “Okay.” Nadine nodded. “I’m sorry for reacting a bit…”

“Like someone had suggested your life was being planned for you? It’s okay.” He chuckled. “Come here, turn around.” He nudged her around. “There will be no final decision without you.” He stared into her eyes, smiling.

After a beat, Elizabeth leaned close, curving her arms around her waist. “Henry…” She drew it out. “Kiss her already so I can.”

Laughing, he tipped Nadine’s chin up and pressed a kiss to her lips, holding her there a moment before letting go she Elizabeth could turn her around again, copying the action.

“Let’s go have dinner.”

=MS=

She couldn’t remember the last time she’d allowed herself to have an extra glass of wine, but now Nadine was sitting in the back seat of Henry’s SUV leaned into Elizabeth’s side giggling. They were both giggling.

Dinner out had been a grand idea, taking some of the stress of Elizabeth for an evening as the election loomed ahead. Being out and about with the limited Secret Service afforded a campaigning presidential candidate wasn’t a whole lot different than their years being out with Diplomatic Services… except they weren’t entirely certain yet that these men and women could be trusted with their secret. There were moments when Nadine found herself missing Matt, Frank, and the dozen or so other agents who’d long learned of their relationship and not only never judged her for it but protected its secrecy as well.

Pulling into the garage, Henry cut the engine as the door went down. “Okay you two, let’s get inside.”

Elizabeth giggled. “Aw, Henry… it’s so far!”

He shook his head, opening the door and reaching in, tugging Nadine out first before leaning in to haul Elizabeth out after.

While his back was turned, Nadine danced her fingers along his sides and down to his hips. “I think this is my favorite suit of yours.” She leaned along his back, doing her best to see Elizabeth over him. “What do you think?”

“I like it, but then I bought it for him.”

Nadine giggled again. “You do have good taste in picking things.” Her weight shifted as she rested against Henry. Her hands left his hips and followed his belt around, dancing along the fold of fabric covering the zipper. “Good taste for beautiful things.”

Henry grunted, clearly hyperaware of her hands. “Nadine, how ‘bout we take this inside?”

She hummed, too caught up in the new discovery of him hardening under her palm to give his words much notice.

“Let me help.” She felt Elizabeth’s fingers against her own and then the clank of a buckle being undone and the soft sound of a zipper. In her arms, Henry jerked at the touch. “God, Nadine, he gets hard for you fast.” She was leaning forward now, the front of her dress gaping open and showing them both ample cleavage. It made Nadine wet as well.

“And you… Look at you. Henry, look at how wonderful she looks sitting there.” Almost absently, she found his dick and wrapped her hand around it. “Who makes you harder, hm?”

“W-what?!”

They both giggled then. Elizabeth shifted so she was on her knees on the seat. Her own hand teasing around Nadine’s. “Who makes you harder, Henry? Me?... Or Nadine?”

“I- I-”

“Maybe we should give him something to compare?” Nadine finally pulled back, tugging Henry with her. “Let’s take him upstairs.”

=MS=

The trip from the garage to the bedroom had been made slowly and had involved lots of touching, to Henry’s surprise, none of it had been to him. He’d kept both of them moving forward and upward as they’d touched and kissed one another.

In the bedroom, Elizabeth pushed Henry back to sit on the edge of the bed before cupping Nadine’s face, making out with her. Nadine’s hands started on Elizabeth’s waist but she quickly pulled them flush together, cupping her ass through her dress until they both groaned and pulled apart for air. “We should strip him naked.” Liz suggested.

“Not yet.” Nadine took her hand, leading her to Henry’s feet before kneeling to the floor. “Who first?”

She saw Liz’s eyes light up. “Oh, you.”

Still holding her hand, Nadine leaned in and licked a long stripe up the underside of where Henry’s cock was jutting out of his open pants, making him groan. “Has he always been so responsive?”

“Always.”

She licked again, flinching only the slightest when Liz began to nibble and suck at her neck. Doing her best to look up at Henry, she opened her mouth and took his head, teasing it with her tongue before pulling away. “Your turn.”

Elizabeth didn’t even give her a change to move, so Nadine had a front row view of the way she licked his prick and then took it in as far as she could.

“You’re good at sucking him off.” Nadine smirked. “But I bet I can be better.” That made Elizabeth look up. “Do your best, but don’t let him come.” Leaving her to the task at hand, Nadine ran her hands over Liz’s body as an idea formed in her mind. Moving behind her, she rucked up Elizabeth’s dress over her hips, massaging her ass before looping her thumbs into the waistband of her underwear and pushing them down to her knees. “I can smell you… Henry, you should smell what sucking you is doing to her.” He groaned and she smiled, spurred on by the sounds they were making.

The wine pulsing through her veins made her bolder than normal. She teased around Liz’s folds, wetting her fingers before drawing them up her ass. “I wonder how fast I can get you off here.”

Henry groaned again. “You- you’re going to get her off, but she can’t let me come?”

She chuckled. “Refractory period.”

He groaned again. “I’ll die.”

“You won’t.” It came out sing-song. “Not unless I allow it.” Her fingers pushed down again, two sinking into wet heat. After a moment, she began fucking her in the same pattering Liz’s head was working over Henry. Her eyes stayed locked on his face, watching, waiting. “He’s close.” She pulled Liz back and then slipped her other hand down her stomach to her clit, pressing in quick circles until she was crying out, coming against her hands as Henry writhed on the bed.

When Elizabeth finally pulled away, Nadine pulled herself between his knees, wrapping wet fingers around him. “My turn.”

=MS=

They’d finally let him come and then, while he recovered, had set about undressing one another, touching and getting off in the process, before turning on him.

Nadine had lost track now of how long they’d been toying with him, taking turns mouthing him. Sidling up to his side, she tucked in close, laving his nipple to make him squirm, feeling as Elizabeth replicated the motion across his chest. They’d been doing that all evening, working along Henry’s body as mirrors of the other, rubbing and touching while only occasionally acknowledging each other with occasional touches.

Henry buried his hands in their hair, swearing as he arched under them. “God, what have I done…”

They both pulled away an inch, staring up at him.

He was panting now. “You are two of the most stubborn, most focused, most determined women I have ever known.” That made them both smile. “And now you’re both drunk, horny, and determined to kill me.”

“I wasn’t _determined_ before…” She looked across at Liz. “But I could be.”

Taking Nadine’s hand, Liz guided her down, rearranging their bodies between Henry’s legs until they could reach and feel and touch everything they wanted. Nose to nose, they licked up his prick, each pressing a hand into his hips when he bucked. “I think he’s ready.”

“I think you’re right.”

Together, as if they were two halves of a whole, their hands wrapped his dick, pumping as one as they massaged his balls. He bucked again and then both shifted, using their weight to hold him still. When Elizabeth leaned in to lavish sucking kissing to his dick, Nadine joined her, peppering him as well.

Slowly, kisses morphed into taking turns sucking him, swirling their tongues as their hands carried on keeping up the rhythm. His hands were back in their hair as he begged and pleaded with them.

“Watch this.” Nadine smirked, hearing him swear again just at her words. Shifting position, she began to take him in, his head hitting the back of his throat. She drew a deep breath through her nose and then relaxed her throat… and swallowed.

“Fuck.” The word came from both McCords almost in unison.

She pulled back, both to breathe and to press her tongue along his length before going down again, taking him all in. Elizabeth’s face was at her cheek, watching with interest and a smile.

Up for air again and then back down and Henry was babbling, doing his level best not to come, but it wasn’t what she wanted. Finding Elizabeth’s eyes, she tried to communicate that.

She seemed to understand. “Come, Henry. Come in her throat.”

Nadine pulled back again and then back down and Henry arched, his ass leaving the bed as he came hard, filling her throat.

When he was spent, she pulled away, pushing up to her knees as she wiped at the corner of her mouth with the back of one finger.

“Wow.”

She giggled as a blush crept into being. “I received a very expansive education in pleasuring a man when I was young.”

Elizabeth laughed. “I see that!”

She shrugged one shoulder, looking down at Henry splayed out on the mattress. “I think we broke him.”

“We?! _You_ broke him.” She pulled Nadine close. “And now I want to break you.” The kiss that followed was long and hard. “You taste of Henry.”

Nadine smirked. “I could taste of you as well.”

“Oh no, you got to have your fun. It’s my turn now.” She pushed, landing Nadine to Henry’s side and pushing her legs apart. “You may have gotten an education on pleasing a man, but I have plenty of pleasing a woman… And years of field experience pleasing you.”

=MS=

Side by side, Nadine and Elizabeth stood in the doorway between the bedroom and bathroom dressed in robes, talking softly. The sun was up and they’d already showered and had gotten coffee, but Henry was still naked and in bed.

“Do we really need him today?” Nadine softly asked.

“ _We_ don’t, but it’ll be hard to explain to Russell why we’re calling him in sick.”

“You don’t think he’d believe ‘fucked into unconsciousness’?” She blew across her mug to cool it.

“My fear would be that he _would_ believe it.” She chuckled softly. She wrapped an arm around Nadine’s waist. “Can you believe it?”

“Believe what?”

“People are out there already voting for me for president. Rumor is the early voting data is promising.”

“I should be, I expect you to win.”

“You expect me to?”

She smiled. “Not only do you deserve it, it’s what America needs.”

“A non-politician in a three person relationship?”

“A woman who isn’t afraid of sticking to her convictions, her humanity, her desire to seek justice no matter the political cost.”

“Maybe they should vote for that woman then.”

“They are, and… they will… You’ll see. In two months we’ll be moving into the White House. I promise you that.” She glanced at one of the bedside clocks. “I do have a class to teach today, however, and I can’t go naked.” She finally pulled away.

“How’s your head?”

Nadine scoffed. “I’ll survive. Won’t be the first time I’ve worked with a mild hangover.” When Elizabeth’s brows shot up, she laughed. “The art of government work.”

From the bed, Henry groaned, informing them he was finally starting to wake.


	48. Chapter 48

“We’re a lock, I think, in most states.” Jay scrolled on his tablet. “Ohio’s still a coin toss though.”

“She was popular there for Dalton’s second run, though. She is why he won.” Nadine glanced over her glasses at him. “If the day carries on like it has been, she’s got this without relying on the House.”

“So, you think she’s got a shot at winning this outright.”

“I do. Our greatest hope last cycle was to just not lose. I think this time we’ll pull off an all-out win”

He let the tablet fall into his lap, smiling at her. “I am going to hop on board with your optimism today.”

“It’s too late to change the tide now anyway.”

“Good point.”

She and Jay were at the house comparing notes and claiming to ready lunch while waiting for the limo carrying Henry, Elizabeth, Daisy, and Blake to return. In the final few days leading up to today, the smaller ‘inner circle’ had taken to seeking refuge at the house instead of campaign headquarters to avoid the increasing feelings of anxiety.

“Are we ready?”

Nadine hadn’t realized her mind had wandered until he spoke. “Hm?”

“For if she wins. Are we ready?” Jay settled into his chair. “If today goes how we hope, we’ll be running not just American Foreign Policy, but America for the next four years.

“We? I retired, remember?”

He laughed. “You are as involved as Henry is. You knew what you were getting into when you started a relationship with her.”

“I could argue that I didn’t. That was a long, long time ago.”

Jay shrugged one shoulder. “You knew when you stayed. You _definitely_ knew when you moved in and married them.”

“…Fair point.” Her phone rang and she reached for it. “Henry! How is the last push for votes?”

“We, um, it’s been a rough morning.” There was the sound of movement in the background. “Daisy carried on with the other group, we’re headed back to the house. We’ll be there in about five minutes.”

She checked her watch, surprised they were coming back so soon. “What happened?” Her eyes met Jay’s and she saw his face morph into concern.

“It’s just… a very overwhelming day. We’ll see you in a few minutes.”

When she hung up, Jay broke the quiet. “What’s happening?”

“I’m not sure.” She shook her head, standing. “But something. You can go if you want. I’m sure there’s a lot to wrap up today.”

“There’s not really. I mean, except the party later on, but Mike’s managing most of that. My job is kind of to do nothing right now.”

“Then go enjoy some time to yourself.” She began to shoo him to the door. “You’ve earned it.” No sooner was he gone than the limo pulled up and Henry climbed out, turning to guide Elizabeth out by the arm as Blake trailed behind, all their possessions filling his arms. “What’s going on?”

“It’s just the day, it’s been a lot of pressure and I think it hit her all at once.” Between them, Elizabeth was a mess. “I pulled the plug and demanded we come back so she could calm down.”

Once she was seated on the sofa, Nadine began looking her over, touching her to try and redirect her attention and get her to breathe. “Liz, look at me.” She didn’t miss the wild look in her eyes and looked up at the two men still standing to the side. “Where are her pills?”

Henry looked to Blake who shook his head. “She hasn’t needed them in ages. I don’t even have them anymore.”

She carded her fingers in Elizabeth’s hair. “You need to calm down, My Love. Everything’s okay. You’re safe.”

“She has to make an appearance later, win or lose. A panic attack with knock her out for hours.” Blake pointlessly explained.

Thinking a moment, Nadine rose from her crouched position. “Calm but functioning… I can make that happen.”

“She can’t be drunk either.” Henry tacked on.

Heading for the stairs, she turned back and arched a brow at him. “You think I don’t know that? You sit with her, this was bread and butter for Blake and I, trust me, she’ll be ready for the rally.”

=MS=

“Is this what I look like?” Nadine looked up from Elizabeth, who was now stretched out quietly on the sofa, to meet Henry’s eyes.

His eyes dipped to their wife a moment. “Sometimes. When you don’t care that we know you’re a little high.”

She gave him a questioning look.

“If another person is around, you fake it well.” He stepped closer, brushing a kiss to her temple. “It kind of makes me sad.”

“What does?”

“That you are forced to hide it. Or usually, that you feel forced to skip it when I can see you’re in pain. I will admit, the first time it came up, I was a bit horrified at the notion, but now… I understand a bit better.”

“About?”

“How it helps you.” He looked back to Elizabeth. “How it could help her.” He wrapped one arm around her back, pulling her into his chest. “How long do you think she’ll be like this?”

“Not too long. She’ll sit up soon and tell us to stop talking like she’s not here. She hasn’t been sleeping well and mixed with the anxiety of today, the sleeping is actually all her, the drugs just calmed her enough to allow it to happen.”

=MS=

 _One night_ she kept telling herself. It was only one night of slipping back into the shadows. Just a friend supporting a friend during the final rally of her presidential campaign.

A friend who wasn’t a tiny bit heartbroken at the way Henry got to kiss and hold her publicly while she couldn’t.

Nadine tucked herself into a corner beside where the stage curtains were tied back, watching as people clamored together as the final numbers rolled in. It was going to be close.

Daisy’s voice rose through the crowd and then the room erupted and Nadine laughed. They’d done it! The next president would be Elizabeth! They were moving to the White house! She paused, letting that settle in a moment… They would be moving to the White House… She and Henry and Elizabeth…One of the most visible places to live in the country.

Their every move would be on display. Most of Elizabeth’s activities would be public record… Their secret would be harder than ever to keep.

Glancing around the crowd, Nadine pulled back, finding her things where someone was watching their bags before slipping out the side door and sliding into the back of the limo they’d be taking home. In the silence, she pulled out her phone, thumbing the screen awake, debating to herself before tapping out a simple text to Blake, knowing he’d have his phone on him and would pass on the message.

This was it… This was how her life would go for the next four or more years. Alone while Henry and Elizabeth made appearances. Alone because she shouldn’t exist, not like she was. Not as their wife.

Forty-five minutes passed in silence and then the side door popped open, making her jump in her seat. She’d expected Henry or maybe even Elizabeth to be the one to slide in, instead it was Blake. She stared at him, waiting.

“I was concerned.” He stated by way of explanation for his presence. He sighed. “Why aren’t you inside celebrating?”

She bit her lip and looked out her own window at the darkness. “She won.”

“… Yes? That was the idea, wasn’t it?” Confusion was obvious in his voice.

“What happens to me?” She asked it to the glass.

He didn’t answer right away. Silent minutes passed before Nadine felt a hand on her arm and looked up at him. “You are still family. To them, they’re not pushing you aside, I can promise that, but to me too. I’m- I’m getting married and… I’ll need someone on my side through that and I’m expecting it to be you.”

“Me?” That surprised her.

Blake nodded. “Do you remember the first day we met?” He turned in his seat so he was facing her. “You met me at the elevator. The floor was crazy busy and you’d all just been through a terrible loss… You’d really been through a loss, losing someone you loved. There was no reason why you couldn’t have had someone else show me around, introduce me to everyone, but you took the time to do it.”

“I-” She shook her head. “I don’t honestly remember. I’m sorry.”

He nodded. “Our last stop was your office. By then I already had a feel of what kind of boss you were in how everyone else interacted with you, but…” He chuckled. “I can still see it when I think back. You had that light pink shirt on that day and a black skirt and blazer. You stood by your desk and looked up at me and said that no matter what, professional or personal, your door was always open. Day or night.”

“I did?” Nadine laughed.

“You said that I didn’t get to have a bad day, because nothing could ever interfere with the Secretary’s life or work. You told me to come to you with everything, even if I smashed my finger in a stapler, because absolutely nothing could ever go to her. I had to always be the image of calm and together.” He went quiet a moment. “I learned to be who I am from watching who you are. I watched you fall in love and then _really_ fall in love and realized I could have both too. I- I learned how to handle people with grace and when to be ruthless. I learned a lot. So, yeah… I need you there so I know how to get through this too.”

“I- I don’t know what to say.”

“That you won’t do whatever bad thing you’ve been playing over and over in your head since you slipped out of one of the biggest _parties_ of our life. Tonight’s a celebration, Nadine, we should be celebrating, not sitting out here in the dark.”

“You can go back in.”

“Not without you. And at some point, Elizabeth will notice you’re gone and you tell me how that will interfere with her night?”

She eyed him. It wasn’t lost on her what he’d just done there.

“So, are you coming in or are we staying out here? Because I’m not leaving you alone. I like staying alive, thank you very much.”

“Elizabeth could never hurt you.”

“Who said I was talking about her? Henry would have my head if I left you alone like this.”

“…Okay.”

“What?”

Nadine nodded, gesturing to the door. “Let’s go. Before they notice we’re gone.”

He studied her a beat. “Okay.” He popped the latch and got out, offering her his hand. As they reentered the building, he spoke again. “Also… the alcohol has been flowing aplenty while you’ve been outside and you’ll be fine in there. I promise.”

She shot him a confused look, but he didn’t elaborate. Back in the crowd, he guided her to where the McCords were surrounded by their closest staff in the middle of the chaos. Henry was laughing, a drink in one hand and an arm around Daisy, which took Nadine by surprise. When she looked to Elizabeth, she found her arm in arm with Jay.

“I suspected the problem and may have given them a heads up.” His voice whispered.

Her brows knit together even further as Blake straightened, passing her as he walked straight toward Elizabeth, who responded with tipsy elation to his sudden appearance. Her confusion morphed into laughter when Blake wrapped his arms around Elizabeth, hugging her as he lifted her off her feet a moment.

“Look at this lovefest!” Matt appeared behind her, the only one still completely in the dark. “Do I get hugs too?” His arms were out and when Nadine gave him a nod, he swept her into an equally gregarious hug, spurring Elizabeth into trying to rescue her.

Once her feet were on the ground again, Nadine let Elizabeth tug her close as she swore aloud she was protecting her from other such aggressive hugs, but it let her stay tucked under Elizabeth’s arm.

And no one was paying them any mind.

She was clinging to Elizabeth publicly, grinning and laughing along with the joy of the night and not a single person thought anything of it.

Maybe, Nadine thought to herself, it wouldn’t be so hard after all.


	49. Chapter 49

“It’s not like we need to really give you a tour of where everything is or anything. It’s the photo op more than anything else.” Conrad laughed as he passed glasses of scotch around. “The country likes to see a healthy transition of power, even if it’s a bit silly to even bother.”

“It makes a nice excuse for lunch anyway.” Elizabeth took a seat on one of the couches. “What’s taking Lydia and Henry so long?”

“I have no idea. I think she wanted to show him the back ways around the place so he can avoid the attention.”

Quietly, Nadine took a seat perched at Elizabeth’s side as Conrad sat across from them. They were finally in private up in the residence, away from the reporters and everyone else working in the building.

“Sounds about right.” Elizabeth reached over and patted Nadine’s hand that was folded in her lap. “You okay?”

“Fine. Just… Taking it all in.” They’d arrived early, much earlier than the press because they all had known just how restrictive things were once the press arrived, and so it’d been a long day already. She remembered that Conrad Dalton had always been good at keeping attention where he wanted it and during the early part of their day, when that press had been present, he’d skillfully made sure no one even noticed her hovering in the periphery.

“You’re joining them, correct?”

Nadine turned to Conrad, blinking a moment at the question. “That’s the plan.”

“Well, there are two rooms across the hall. I’m assuming you’ll have one for Alison and Jason when they come to stay.” He glanced to Elizabeth. “I already did a bit of my own nosing around and really, especially now that the kids are out of the house, you moving in as well would barely be a byline.”

“How’d you work that out?” Elizabeth asked. It wasn’t the question Nadine was about to ask, but she didn’t voice it, instead letting Elizabeth carry the conversation.

He shrugged casually, leaning back in his seat. Nadine knew she wasn’t seeing the President and the former Secretary of State right now, but Conrad and Elizabeth who’d been friends for nearly three decades. “When you resigned and I knew this was a real possibility, I made out like Lydia’s friend Esther might come live with us, to keep Lydia company of course. So, I asked around and got a feel for the topic. The answers that came back to me were that is would maybe make a one-inch article for a day and be gone by dinner. Literally no one cares. As far as the staff who work in the building, well, there are no worries there either. These people take their jobs and the secrets of this place very seriously.”

“That’s good to know.” She sipped her drink. “I kept telling her it was no big deal.” She smiled at Nadine, who gave her a quick smile in return. Setting her glass aside, Elizabeth stood and crossed to the windows. “Can you believe we’re going to get to wake up to this view for four years?”

Copying her actions, Nadine stared down at the gardens. It was beautiful despite being winter, though she knew the real beauty would come in the spring.

Behind them, Conrad chuckled. “The most beautiful prison on earth.” He sighed. “I’ve been honest with you before, Bess, this place… Some days you’ll hate it. Especially for a woman who’s spent her adult life galivanting around the world and rushing out to chase down a problem when it refuses to come to you.” They both turned to face him as he stood, shoving his hands down into his pockets. “But you’ll have Henry… And Nadine… I think you’ll be okay.” He glanced to the door a moment. “Maybe I should go and look for the First Spouses, huh? I’ll leave you two to enjoy the view.”

Once they were alone, Elizabeth tugged Nadine close. “Overwhelmed?”

“Just a bit.”

“You know, the room thing is just so if people go nosing around, they only see what we want them to see. Also… you never know… There could be a day where you appreciate having your own space to retreat to.”

“Perhaps.”

“I asked some questions today too.” When Nadine looked up into her eyes, there was a twinkle there. “I asked who my lead agent was going to be… and Henry’s. I wanted to be sure they were people who would be respectful.”

“And?”

“No worries there. I know we’ve been extra careful around the agents on the campaign and then the transition group recently, but we’re going to meet them just as soon as Henry turns up.” She tipped her head down, bumping their noses together. “And then I have a bit of a surprise.”

Conrad returned with Henry and Lydia, topping up drinks just as three Secret Service entered the room, making greetings as Lydia and Conrad slipped out again. One agent was what Nadine considered typical of what she knew of DC agents, he looked like ex-military in the way he carried himself, on the far side was an agent who looked younger that the other two, with the tallest man in the middle.

The center agent spoke, addressing Elizabeth first. “Ma’am, we’re officially the agents who will be assigned to you for the duration of your presidency. As you know, we already arranged for detail for each of your children. This is Tom, he’s been assigned to Doctor McCord.” He gestured to the ex-military looking agent, pausing as the two men greeted one another. Nadine thought, based on the easy grin on the man’s face and the relaxed-but-alert way he carried himself that the pair would be fast friends almost instantly.

“And then this, Ma’am, is Jeff.” Nadine watched the smaller of the three men, a young black man who reminded her a bit of Blake, if Blake worked out a lot more, step forward and offer his hand.

“Madam President.”

She laughed. “Not quite yet.”

“It’ll be a pleasure to serve you.”

The first agent spoke again, looking directly at Nadine this time. “And Miss Tolliver, I am Bruce. Any time you go out, I’ll be your detail.”

She was stunned. “I- I didn’t know I’d warrant any.”

He nodded. “You’ll be residing here as well, correct?”

“Yes”

Bruce glanced over at the door, which was ajar. A look to Jeff and the younger man walked over and pulled it closed, leaving the six of them in privacy. “I know the three of you are aware there will be hundreds of agents coming and going from your lives, but we will be with you at every step. If you ever have a concern, we will be there for you to turn to; if something ever happens, it’ll be our faces you look for.” He waved to the couches. “Shall we sit a moment?”

They all took seats before he carried on.

“I’m sure you know, Ma’am, how close President Dalton is with Allen, his lead agent. After nearly a decade, it becomes a deep friendship. And the First Lady with Cora. That bond is built on trust. Things will happen in this building, up here in this residence, that none of us will ever speak of.” His eyes bounced between them. “Nothing goes beyond us, however, the three of us will always be in communication. Is there anything we should be aware of?”

Nadine felt as Elizabeth looked her way and looked up, meeting her eyes. This was the moment of truth, the make or break moment on if this was one giant mistake or not. For their life to continue secretly, they would need the cooperation of these three men above all others. She gave her a tiny nod and felt almost relieved when Liz took her hand in return.

“We’re in a relationship.” Elizabeth spoke to her agent directly. “We have been for years.”

None of the men seemed phased. Jeff leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. “All three of you?”

“Yes.” Henry answered.

“So we know who to keep an eye on, who all knows?” Tom tugged out a tiny notepad. “Also, any notes I take are in my own personal shorthand.”

“Um.” Elizabeth thought a moment. “My Chief of Staff, Jay Whitman… Daisy Grant, my press coordinator. Mike Barnow who may be a special council…”

“Blake…” Nadine prompted.

“Right.” She shook her head. “Blake Moran, my personal assistant. It’s safe to say there are zero secrets from him.” She looked between the men, ending on Jeff. “You and he will spend a lot of time together. You’ll see, there’s very little about me he doesn’t know.”

“I think that’s it.” Nadine considered if there was anyone else.

Once the agents left, Nadine couldn’t help the small laugh. “I appreciate that I’ll be getting an agent, but is he the biggest one they had?” She guessed that Bruce had a solid six inches on Henry and quite a bit more weight.

=MS=

Nadine hoisted her bag up on her shoulder, reaching for her travel mug. “I got confirmation from the college that they’ve pulled me from the schedule for next semester, so another week and I’m done teaching.” She kissed Elizabeth as she passed her.

“Oh. Bruce is out front waiting for you.”

She rolled her eyes. “I really can’t drive myself for a few more days?”

Elizabeth shrugged. “I have no idea what Conrad said to them. It’s happened, all we can do is accept it.”

With a huff, Nadine headed for the door, slipping into the back seat of the sedan with a quick greeting.

“Good morning, Ma’am.” The voice, coming from the passenger seat, made her head pop up in surprise, a grin forming instantly. Matt! What are you doing here?”

The DS agent turned enough to see her a moment. “I’ve been keeping tabs on the detail covering the family. Bruce here is a friend of mine.”

Her eyes darted between them and then narrowed slightly. “Did you have a hand in the assignment?”

He chuckled. “We were consulted about the process. From a security standpoint, we already know everything the new detail will need to be aware of for protecting you.”

“That’s why Tom and Jeff seemed like such good matches…” She said it mostly to herself.

“Yes, Ma’am. We suggested that since Doctor McCord was not accustomed to full-time protection, that someone he could see as more of a friend would be better. And, while Jeff isn’t the most imposing agent available, you and I both know that it was Mister Moran that _Secretary_ McCord responded to the best.”

Now her curiosity was piqued. “And Bruce here?”

There was a pause before he answered. “You aren’t accustomed to your own detail, though you are well versed from your time with both Secretaries of State.”

“Matt told me to always assume you will understand whatever is going on, that you’d ask questions if you needed more information.” Bruce spoke up. “Also… I have a transgender daughter. She’s in high school and it’s been rough, finding a therapist who is a good fit to help her through the struggles she’s faced with being accepted. I didn’t understand why that was important until we all met. Matt had really dug in that all three of us were completely accepting and understanding of relationships that weren’t what is viewed as normal.”

“Oh.” She wasn’t sure how to respond to that. “Well… Thank you, I suppose.”

“I swore to look out for you, Ma’am, as far as I’m concerned, that doesn’t end until I know you’re safely handed off to the next person.”

=MS=

“So… Can I ask you questions?” Bruce was sitting across from her, eating. It was midday and she was between classes.

She studied him a second. “I suppose you can ask.”

He chuckled. “Any other family?”

Nadine smiled. “I have a sister and brother-in-law. They have two adult daughters and a grandson who’s ten now.”

“Do they…” He gestured in a small circle with his fork.

“They know, yes.”

“Is that it then?”

“I have a son; he and his girlfriend have a baby girl… Well, she’s not a baby anymore.”

“You don’t speak to them?”

She looked up in surprise.

Bruce gave her a soft smile. “It was how you said it. Plus, you didn’t lead with him, so in your mind he’s less important.”

“No… We don’t talk.” Feeling emboldened, she drew a breath. “They do know, but they aren’t as accepting. I also have an ex-husband somewhere in the world… Unless he’s dead…”

He laughed outright. “You don’t look him up?”

“I don’t care. The marriage was brief and there were no kids involved, so when we decided it wasn’t working, we simply went our separate ways.”

“Did you love him?”

“… For a time.”

“But not like what you have now.”

She didn’t answer verbally, but knew the way her face heated up was answer enough.

“Look, Matt grilled me something fierce when we met a few weeks back. You can trust me to protect you physically, but also your privacy. Anytime you need anything, or is something makes you uncomfortable, you let me know.”

“Okay.” Nadine glanced around, the area they were sitting in was mostly vacant. “And I’ll do my best to remember to trust you.”

“Sounds good.”


	50. Chapter 50

Shivering against the icy wind, Nadine danced in place, blowing on her gloved fingers. It was inauguration day and also one of the coldest days DC had seen in years. Risking turning back to the wind, she tugged her scarf tighter as she looked at the masses of black-coated agents preparing around them.

“You look cold.”

Nadine turned again, looking up at Bruce who was studying her closely. “I don’t do well in the cold.” She shook her head. “According to Henry, it’s because there’s just not enough to me to stay warm.” She smiled when he laughed. “It makes my hips play up too and I’m certain it’s all in my head, but it’s as if the metal somehow makes me that much colder.”

Bruce looked around a second. “We could go sit in the car.”

“No. I told Elizabeth I’d do this with her.”

He arched a single brow at her. “And if she knew you were standing here freezing?”

She rolled her eyes. “You’ve been talking to Blake again.” They weren’t even _in_ the White House yet and she had already caught Blake talking more than once with the agents.

“I can neither confirm nor deny.”

That made her laugh, chill momentarily forgotten. “You are so full of crap. Look, I’m fine. I’m not walking the route, so it’s not going to hurt me to suck it up for this part. And… if you think I should stay inside for the speeches, well, I won’t cause a scene about it.” She blew on her hands again.

“Here.” Bruce pulled a small sachet-looking thing out of his pocket. “You can’t have both, but I’ll let you have one.” He tugged her right hand closer, moving the glove off her wrist and slipping the item into her palm inside. “Now, hold your hands together.”

“It’s so warm!”

“It’s a hand warmer. It lasts about eight hours, so you’ll be good for the day.”

“Where’d you find these?” She was amazed at the sudden heat radiating through her gloves.

“Around. They’ve been a thing for a few years now.” He leaned closer, bending to something nearer to her height. “They make large patches too for your chest or back.” Bruce smiled. “Why do you think I don’t look cold?”

“I need these!”

“I’ll get you the information.” He straightened up, eyes still on everyone around them. “Blake’s headed this way.” He pointed her attention in the right direction and stepped back.

Nadine smiled, greeting him with a hug. “I didn’t think you were coming. Aren’t you supposed to be with the transition team all morning?”

“Lucy and I had a system.” He waved it away as an explanation. “And Jay said I was driving him nuts, so I thought I’d come keep you company.” He shifted nervously from foot to foot.

He looked oddly jittery. “Are you nervous?”

“About today? No. I’m fine.”

She didn’t believe him even a little. Touching his arm, she got him to stop moving. “What’s bothering you then?”

His head shook. “Nothing.”

“Blake…”

“I- I can’t talk about it. I don’t want to, uh…” He swallowed. “I can’t talk about it.”

He looked rattled even more than normal. “You know you can talk to me about anything, right? That’s never going to change.”

“I- I know. I just… I _can’t_. Not until I know.”

“Okay.” She squeezed his arm. “You can keep me company then.”

“I can do that.”

=MS=

“Blake told me Stevie bowed out of today because she wasn’t feeling well.” Elizabeth was leaned into Nadine’s space. They were riding in a freight elevator up from the secured parking to one of the balls, joined by Henry and a dozen SS agents.

Distractedly, Nadine straightened Elizabeth’s necklaces before tucking a lock of her hair to the side. “He looked a bit distraught this morning but wouldn’t say why. But we’ve been all-go the past few weeks, they deserve a break from this.”

“You’re right.” When Nadine’s hands moved to straighten the straps of her dress, Elizabeth batted them away, pulling them down to settle around her waist. “My clothes are fine.”

“You’ve been fidgeting with it; I’m just trying to set it back to rights.” Her hands moved again, reaching back to the neckline of Elizabeth’s dress, making her mock-whine.

“Henry, make her stop.”

From his place against the side of the elevator, he chuckled. “It’ll be an hour before she can touch you again, let her do her thing.” He didn’t miss when her lower lip popped out in a pout. “Nadine, her dress is fine.”

She pulled away then. “I guess you’re right.” Changing tactics, she dropped her hands back to her waist, pulling them together until their foreheads touched. “It’s been a long day.”

“I know, Darling.”

“Doors open in thirty.” Jeff spoke up from the edge of the space.

Nadine smiled softly. “I guess I need to do this quickly then.” She pressed her lips to Elizabeth’s, lingering until Jeff spoke again.

“Ten.”

Stepping to the side, she let Henry take Elizabeth’s hand and then the doors opened to the world beyond, their moment of solace over.

“Ma’am.” Bruce gently caught her attention before offering his elbow and then walking with her down the hall. “Will you be dancing?”

“I don’t believe so, not this one anyway.” Her eyes lingered on Elizabeth and Henry as they walked inside the circle of their own agents ahead of them. “It’ll be a long night on my feet.”

“I understand.”

=MS=

Inside the White House, especially once they cleared the staircase, was freedom. Nadine had a feeling she would soon come to love this space more than anywhere else in the building. It was one of the few places their detail would rarely appear unless there was a reason and it was away from the twenty-four seven staff below.

Henry pushed the door shut, pulling them both to his chest before kissing them. “It’s over.” He smiled as they both seemed to sigh into him. “Now what?”

“Sleep.” Elizabeth yawned. “I have to be downstairs by six.”

“Okay.” He began ushering them to the bedroom. “Sleep it is for my exhausted loves.”

It seemed to take forever to shed dresses, shoes, and hair pins, washing up to remove layers and layers of makeup. By the time it was all said and done, Nadine didn’t really care that she was crawling under the covers naked. All she bothered to even notice was the way Elizabeth nudged her into the middle, allowing herself and Henry to curl around her as they all swiftly fell asleep.

=MS=

“Shh. It’s just me.” Henry’s soft whisper tugged her from slumber. Under the sheets, his hands ghosted up her body comfortingly. “The door’s closed and locked.” He pressed a kiss beneath her ear. “I know you’re tired, but I need you to wake up.”

Drawing in a sharp breath through her nose, Nadine rolled back into his chest, aware by feel that he was fully dressed already. “Time ‘s it?”

“Almost eight.” His voice was still quiet. “Jay and Mike are in the sitting room with Elizabeth at the moment. I didn’t want to catch you by surprise, but they’re going to need us downstairs shortly for something.”

“…Okay. I’m awake.”

Not passing up the opportunity when it was presented, his roving hand slipped up to squeeze one breast, making her quietly giggle at his boldness. “We were all too exhausted last night for me to appropriately show you how much I appreciated that gown.” He pushed into her back. “Strapless and with that slit nearly to your hip. You had to know it would drive me mad.”

“I wondered if you’d noticed.”

“Oh, I noticed.”

“You didn’t try to do anything about it.”

“Never had the chance.”

She smirked, twisting in his arms. “It didn’t stop Elizabeth. I think she had her hand up that slit half a dozen times last night.” When his eyes turned to saucers, her smile grew and she leaned in, kissing him quickly. “I thought she was about to rip the lace of the underwear I’d worn with the way she kept trying to shove them aside and then…” She blushed, remembering the quick stop between events where she’d popped into a private restroom only to end up not alone. “She wanted to get me off, but we were in a rush. She got one finger in though.”

“I-”

“Tell you what… You can finish the job later.” She kissed him. “I’ll even tell her that’s where we’re head and then leave her to her meetings.”

“You are a cruel woman.”

“She was a bit cruel leaving me hanging.”

One they all found their way to the Oval, Nadine sat at Henry’s side across from Mike as Elizabeth shuffled things around on her desk. A family emergency had upended their plans already and Elizabeth had shared that Russell would be, temporarily, stepping in to fill in Jay’s spot until he returned.

The door swung open and Russell rushed in, pausing as he realized who all was in the room. Confusion filled his face. “Bess, what’s this?”

Mike spoke before Elizabeth answered. “It’s a meeting of the ‘people who’ve banged Bess’ club. Care to join?”

“Mike, so help me god, I’ll find a prison to shove you in.” Elizabeth snapped as Henry was on his feet with threats of his own.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Russell, if possible, looked even more confused over the reactions to what he’d initially taken as a supremely awful joke. “I thought we were getting ready for some NSC meeting.”

“We’re getting to that.”

“Then why am I here? Carol has me on a very short leash these days.”

The room went quiet. After a moment, and in a much calmer and more respectful tone, Mike spoke again. “I told you why.”

“You said something, but I have no idea what you are talking about.”

Mike opened his mouth to speak yet again, but a sharp look from Nadine silenced him.

“Why would you say something like that?” Russell was focused now on Mike’s silence. “You can’t just joke about the president like that.”

Despite the glare, Mike muttered under his breath.

“What was that?”

“I said I wasn’t joking.”

Elizabeth cleared her throat. “I wanted to bring you up to speed quickly, Russell, on something you need to know while you’re filling in for Jay.”

“What is it?”

“He’s not…joking, that is. Not that his role in the matter is relevant any longer.”

“No. I’m not Nadine.” Mike snarked.

“Will someone please spell it out like I’m one of the morons on the Hill?”

Elizabeth slowly started across the office. “When I was a professor, I had a very brief affair with Mike.” Nadine wasn’t surprised at the way Russell’s brows shot up. “The long and short of that is, yes, Henry was fully aware before hand and it doesn’t impact my life now except for suffering listening to his borderline inappropriate comments.”

She knew Russell’s mind worked fast, worked out puzzles in a million directions at once. She could see, as Elizabeth kept her slow path to the sofa, as his eyes widened as he processed again Mike’s original inappropriate statement. Russell’s eyes bounced from Elizabeth down to her. “You…”

When Elizabeth stopped by her knees and opened her hand, Nadine reached up and took it.

“Yes, Russell.”

He was stunned silent, clearly confused as to what to even try and ask next. Blake rushed in, a binder in his hand and halted as Russell turned to face him. “And you?”

Blake froze, eyes running over the people in the room, understanding hitting when he saw the pair of them holding hands. “Me what? Do I know the three of them are together? Yes, I’ve known a long time.”

“I think he’s asking if you’re part of the ‘bangin’ Bess’ club.”

“For the love of god, Mike!” Henry snapped.

“No.” Blake shook his head. “I prefer the next generation.”

If possible, Russell looked even more lost. “Which- which one?”

He smirked. “Stevie, of course. We’re engaged.”

Russell shook his head. “I leave DC for a few days…”

Enjoying the moment of being the one able to rattle Russell instead of the usual other way around, Blake carried on. “Oh, it’s been more than a few days…” He laughed. “Stevie and I have been dating for…nearly three years.”

“Dating?”

“Well, together. We got engaged after their last Christmas party and vow thing.”

His brows shot up again. “En _gaged_?” He made a slight scoff. “I never knew.”

“That was the idea.” He shrugged. “Of course, that’s nothing compared to them.”

When Russell’s attention turned back to them, Nadine looked up at Elizabeth, a sense of calm filled her chest as she smiled up at her.

Elizabeth squeezed her hand and then spoke to him. “Nadine and I have been together almost since I took the job. She and Henry since she retired.” For possibly the first time ever, Nadine watched as Russell was rendered utterly speechless. “It’s important that our inner circle knows so they can help us keep it secret. During the day, Nadine is simply here as a support when we need it. A friend… What happens after that is private and involves no one else.”

“I- I’m sorry… I’m just shocked is all.” He finally shook his head. “Okay… okay… Fine, I’m on board. Is that all? Can we get to this NSC meeting now?”

“Of course.”

The room emptied, Russell first and then Mike with Elizabeth and Henry hurrying out behind them for meetings. In the quiet, Nadine watched as Blake slowly walked from near the door back to the end of the sofa. “Are you… are you okay?”

She had to think about that a moment. “I’m not sure.”

“Perhaps… a bit of fresh air?”

“That sounds lovely.”

A fresh purpose before him, he turned to his desk. “I’ll call Bruce for you.”


	51. Chapter 51

“Nadine, have you heard from Blake?” Elizabeth entered the sitting room to meet Nadine for lunch. “He texted and said he needed the day off, but I haven’t heard from him since.”

“No. I haven’t heard anything.” She paused. “You want me to try and call him?”

“Would you?” She sighed. “I worry. Something’s been going on; Stevie hasn’t been interested in wedding plans and then he’s been quiet and now this.”

“I’ll see what I can find out.” Rising, she kissed Elizabeth before gathering her phone and stepping into the bedroom to dial. When the line connected, Nadine instantly frowned at his greeting. “Blake?”

“Y- yeah.” He sounded exhausted and… shattered.

“What’s going on? Where are you?”

“Home… with Stevie.”

“Is she sick?” When he drew a breath, she thought it sounded ragged. “Blake?”

“We’re- we’re not sure if getting married is the right thing for us.”

She had no idea where that came from. The pair of them were almost as sickeningly sweet together as Elizabeth and Henry. “Did something happen? Did you two have a fight?”

“N-no. No fight.”

She heard what he was saying in what he didn’t say. “But… Something happened.”

A gasp that sounded worryingly like a muffled sob came down the line. “She’s sleeping now.”

“Talk to me? Please?”

“Not- not on the phone.”

“Okay. I’ll come to you then.”

“I’m okay, Nadine.”

“No. You’re not, Blake. And that’s okay.” Once she finally got him off the phone, she returned to the next room. “Something’s wrong. I’m going to go figure it out.”

Mid-bite, Elizabeth looked up in concern. “You talked to him?”

“He was upset. I need to- I need to find Bruce and convince him this is a perfectly fine idea.” It wasn’t like the condo wasn’t already secured, Stevie had agents for protection and, once they got married, Blake would get them as well. “I’m sorry to skip out on you, but I think this needs my attention.”

“Yes. Go. Check on our children.”

=MS=

She found herself swiping away one of her own tears as she watched Blake stand, caught between the stove and island of what once was her own home.

“She… She thinks we shouldn’t get married until we successfully have a baby now.” He didn’t bother wiping away his own tears. “ _Three times_ , Nadine. I’m-” He cut off, head shaking. “I don’t care if we never have kids. Not if trying is going to destroy her like this. I- I love her. It doesn’t matter if we eventually have none or ten or… we adopt every year until we’re ridiculously old and have dozens. I _don’t care_. I just want to marry her.”

“I know.” She stepped toward him. “But right now, she’s heartbroken. She just needs you to be nothing but heartbroken with her. Why… Why didn’t you tell us she was pregnant again?”

“We didn’t want to jinx it. I couldn’t say anything.”

And then it clicked. “You knew last month. At the parade. That’s why you looked so worried.”

Blake nodded.

“I am so sorry.” She opened her arms. “Come here.” Finally, he allowed himself to be pulled into a hug, breaking down completely once his chin was on her shoulder.

=MS=

By the time she was back in the car, Nadine had gotten both Blake and Stevie to slightly better places. It would be a long road and she had a feeling that every time this happened, if it happened again, which she now feared it would, the road to getting past it would grow longer and longer.

“Everything okay, Ma’am?”

“Not even a little, Bruce. There’s nothing to be done, though.”

He was quiet from the front for a mile or two. “Are you wanting to head straight back?”

“… Is there an alternative?”

Bruce turned to the driver, Allen today. “Let’s take the scenic route.”

Allen silently nodded, changing lanes and heading away from the direct path.

“Let me know if you need anything else, Ma’am.”

“Thank you, Bruce.” Nadine stared out the window, not really seeing the trees and houses as they passed them. The men up front spoke quietly, but they were easy enough to tune out. She wasn’t sure how much time passed before she realized they didn’t appear to be aimlessly taking roads.

It wasn’t until the vehicle pulled into a lot that she got curious. “Where are we?”

“Sometimes all it takes to boost a bad day is a little fur.” Bruce climbed out and then opened her door, assisting her out as she looked up at the entrance to the animal shelter. “Cats or dogs?”

The question alone made her attempt a small smile. “Dogs.”


	52. Chapter 52

Making notes in the margins, Nadine flipped the page of the manuscript, readjusting in her seat under the portico. Fall was creeping in, but the days were still warm enough to make her love sitting outside in the privacy of the garden. She’d learned already how to dodge the worst of the chaos that happened around the White House, between the normal goings-on of running the government to the things she’d not considered like tours and special events. This garden had provided hours of privacy away from everything. Almost no one could see her here.

“Ma’am?” No one except Bruce.

“Yes, Bruce?”

“When you’re not busy, I have the information on the London trip.”

“Ah!” She grinned. The trip was going to be a family affair, part to celebrate Stevie and Blake’s recent marriage, and part to simply have a moment together. There was going to be official business for Elizabeth several of the days, but there was also going to be plenty of time together. “Anything unexpected?”

“No, Ma’am.”

She closed the manuscript and dropped it to her side. “That’s good to hear.”

“The advance team will be leaving in the next few days, so Protocol will be finding you soon, I’m sure.” He smirked. “So if you have any special requests for accommodation, be sure to have that information ready.”

“I really should come up with one rather bizarre thing for one of these trips, just to see if they really mean it that they’ll get anything I want.”

They both laughed. Bruce had mentioned more than once that he thought Nadine was the most laid back and perhaps even easiest person he’d ever had the pleasure of protecting. “I’m sure you’ll think of something, Ma’am.”

“Who is going with the advance team?”

Bruce nodded, knowing where the question was headed. “Marisol is going with them, Ma’am.”

“Good. She deserves a trip, even if it is a work one. I know her divorce has been hard on her.”

He looked around the garden and back toward the building. “Are you having lunch with the President today?”

“Not today. She and Henry have a working lunch with someone, so I’m on my own.”

“In that case, would you like to grab a bite off campus?”

Nadine tipped her head at him. It wasn’t odd for her to go off campus for things, she was far less high-profile than Henry or Elizabeth, but it was next to unheard of for Bruce to instigate such an excursion. “Just you and I?” She stood, brushing any dirt off her slacks. “Sure, why not. I’ll go get my things.”

“I’ll meet you at the door.”

=MS=

“So, what did Bruce want today?” Elizabeth leaned against the counter where Nadine was washing her face. It was only ten, Elizabeth had another video call to get to soon, but for the moment, they were having a small break.

“He’s been struggling working out how to help his daughter. He mostly just wanted someone to talk it out with. There were a couple legal related questions and while it’s not my area, I was able to help him understand the bare bones I know.”

“Ah.”

Nadine finished her task and cut the water. “He also mentioned London plans were going smoothly.”

That made Elizabeth grin. “I heard that too.” She curled her hands around Nadine’s waist, pulling her close. “Four days in London. And we get to meet the Queen!” She laughed, pressing a kiss to Nadine. “I’m not sure what I’m most excited about.”

“I’m just excited to be doing something with the family. I knew we wouldn’t see the kids much now, but with Alison in Europe full-time and Jason in New York, I am starting to forget what they look like.” Taking Elizabeth’s hands, she walked backward, tugging her back toward the sitting room. “Henry will be up soon, try not to let your call run long.”

“I’ll try. It would be nice to have a night where we’re all together and someone doesn’t have to rush out of bed immediately.”

Hands landed back on her waist and she threaded her own around Elizabeth’s neck, lacing fingers behind her head. “I’ll give you something to think about while you’re talking.” She pulled them together, settling into a deep kiss that wasn’t interested in stopping.

Across the room, the door opened, not that they cared. “Ma’am, you’re needed downstairs for the video call.”

They were slow to pull apart, but when they did, Elizabeth stepped back, straightening her clothes. “I look okay.”

Nadine let her eyes rove over her. “Might need fresh lipstick.”

“There’s a tube in the desk.”

“You’re good then.” She pecked one last kiss to her before letting her go. “Have fun.”

Turning away, Elizabeth groaned dramatically, making Nadine laugh.

As the door shut, Blake met Nadine’s eyes and hesitated. She didn’t ask, wasn’t going to ask until he was ready to come to her, but she had a gut feeling now what that terrified look in his eyes meant.

=MS=

Stretching out, she moaned under Henry’s hands, relishing the way he pressed into her muscles. “I hate to tell you, but if you keep rubbing like that, you’re going to put me to sleep instead of rev me up.” When he laughed, she did as well.

“Which do you want?”

She hummed, debating the answer. “I _want_ to get to do this with Elizabeth. It feels like it’s always two of us for some reason. When was the last time we all three had sex together? Real, fun, sex. Not a quick something or other in between meetings or two of us while the third is passed out cold beside us.”

“I- I’m not sure.” He moved, turning her to her side and laying in front of her. “But you’re right, it’s been a while and I miss it too.” He lifted one of her hands and kissed her palm. “Think anybody’d notice if we kidnapped the president?”

Nadine laughed. “I think they might. I might have one better, though.” Scooting across the bed, she nabbed her phone and pressed the speed dial. “Hey, it’s me. Could you find and excuse for that call to wrap up already?” It’d been an hour and it seemed to still be going. “We need her up here.” She listened a beat. “Do you really want me to describe what for?” The response made her laugh. “Thank you.” Tossing the phone down, she scooted back over to Henry.

“She on her way?”

“As fast as he can get her out.”

“We need to pay him more.”

Nudging him onto his back, she straddled his hips. “You gave him your firstborn; I think it makes you even. Now, enough of everyone else, let’s give Elizabeth something wonderful to walk in on.”

“That sounds like an absolutely wonderful idea.”

=MS=

Elizabeth’s hips jerked, but Nadine held tight, keeping rhythm with her tongue.

“Hen-ry.” She objected. He was pinning her arms over her head, sucking on her breasts and kissing her neck. “I need to come, please make her let me come.”

“I can’t make her do anything, Babe, just like I can’t make you do anything.”

“But I need- I need something- something in me.” Nadine could feel as he muscles trembled under her hands.

“I know the thing. Don’t let her move, Henry.” She slipped off the bed, padding to the bathroom for the unassuming looking bag that held their combined assortment of toys. Finding the one she knew Elizabeth liked, she left the bag on the table by the bed and climbed back on. “Here we go.” She teased it against Elizabeth’s slit before easing it in, drawing out breathy sounds from her. “Is that what you wanted? Did you want us to fuck you?”

“Yes yes yes.”

She flicked the switch and turned it one, drawing it out and in again. “Should I keep it slow?”

“No- I want to feel you, Darling. I want to feel you taking me.”

“I’ll make sure she doesn’t get too loud, but you should give her what she needs.” Henry turned to face Nadine a moment.

“No.” She reached out for his hand. “Come here.” She stilled her hand but didn’t stop the vibrating. “Scoot up, Liz.” She nudged her up onto the pillows further. “We’ve missed together, let’s do this together.”

Settling between Nadine’s legs, Henry took a moment to run his hands over her body. “You are so beautiful.”

Restarting fucking Elizabeth, she pushed her hips back. “Come on, Henry.” She felt him line up and then push in, holding her balance since she was only leaning on one hand. “He always fills me up so much, Elizabeth. Don’t you just love the way he feels?”

“He’s always so good.” Elizabeth got out.

“Yes, he is. We haven’t been able to appreciate him properly in a while.” She adjusted how she was holding the vibrator so her thumb could circle Elizabeth’s clit. “We don’t want him to feel unappreciated, do we?”

“No.”

“What do you want from us tonight?”

“Fuck me.” She arched. “Fuck me, Nadine.”

“And Henry?”

“I want to watch him fuck you. I want to see your face as you come. I- I want to hold you and you come in my arms.”

She picked up the pace, doing her best to drive Elizabeth to her end quickly. “I know you’re close. I know you’re trying to out-think it to make it build.” Shifting her weight, she caught the side of one breast in her mouth, applying just enough pressure with her teeth to make Elizabeth keen.

“Fuck.”

“That’s my girl.” Henry encouraged. “She likes when you leave marks. Do it again.”

Nadine obliged, struggling to keep her balance when Elizabeth suddenly came hard beneath them. Henry sped up then as he fucked her, making her swear. She dropped her head to Elizabeth’s stomach, but Liz lifted it up.

“I want to see your face when you come. Look at me, right here, Darling. I want you to look at me when he makes you come. Look at you, my beautiful Darling, my beautiful wife…” She curled, bringing their lips together. “Let me help you fuck me again.” Her hand covered Nadine’s, stroking the vibrator in and out as Nadine began to pant and then gasp.

Held between them, Nadine felt their combined hands on her body, the way they knew exactly how to play with her. She loved them, this. “I love you.” Elizabeth’s free hand finally found her clit and she was done, crying out as she came around Henry.

“Let me hold you, Darling.” Elizabeth helped her drop to her chest. “Come in her, Henry.”

His weight was pressing into both of them now. Nadine could feel the teasing vibrations of the toy still buried in Elizabeth against her center, driving her sensitivity closer to another orgasm. She shifted, unsure if she was wanting more or less. A hand pushed between them and then Nadine realized Elizabeth was swirling both their clits at the same time.

Elizabeth groaned. “Come, Henry.”

Behind her, he gasped and then grunted and she wondered if he was aware of what his wife was doing. Then she felt him. “He’s coming.” And then Elizabeth gasped, arching into her as she toppled over the edge again, the knowledge of them both coming together around her drove Nadine finally to that second orgasm.

=MS=

“I have to get dressed.” Elizabeth’s whisper barely roused her, her only response was a sharp inhale of breath. She was flat on her stomach this morning, down in the bed so her head missed the pillows entirely. It was one of her favorite ways to sleep, it made her feel secure. To her left, now stroking fingers along the visible bumps of her ribs, Liz was curled into her side. “I don’t suppose I could get you to just stay in bed all day and each time I get a break, I’ll hurry back to touch you again.”

Through the curtain of her own hair, Nadine finally cracked her eyes open. “I could get a reputation doing that. Lazing around, waiting to be fucked senseless.”

The hand drifted down, brushing along the bumps of her spine before teasing the curve of her ass and then along the back of her thigh. “My kept wife.”

A finger teased awfully close to her slit, making warmth pulse in anticipation even as she twitched away. “You’re about to start something you probably don’t have time to finish.”

Pushing up, Elizabeth kissed her shoulder. “I’m the President, they’ll wait.” She began nipping the trail she’s been touching, biting harder when she made it to her ass and thighs. “Where’d the bag end up?”

“Table behind Henry.” She tried to roll over, but Henry was still sound asleep on her right side, an arm draped across her lower back and his leg over her right thigh. “The plugs are in there too.”

She could feel in the way the shifting on the mattress paused that that caught Liz by surprise. “Which one do you need?” Anal sex was still something they’d only done a couple times, Liz preferred to not receive, and Henry never brought it up directly, but Nadine had found she liked the plugs on occasion.

“The second one.” She waited, pinned in place, for Elizabeth to locate the toys and lube, applying it generously before the small tip brushed between her cheeks.

“Ready?”

“Yes.” She canted her hips back, exhaling as the plug was eased in. She shifted a bit, finding that perfect position where she just felt full and then sighed.

“I wish I could keep that smile on your face all day.”

Nadine chuckled. “If I was willing to wear it all day, you just might.”

“Would you be?” That seemed to pique her interest.

“No. Not all day. Not with the way our lives are around here.”

“Okay.” Instead of asking anything more, Nadine felt as the vibrator Elizabeth’d chosen pushed into her slit, making her shift again.

Nadine curled her shoulders, pulling her head down she her chin was tucked to her chest. The dual fullness was wonderfully overwhelming. “Fuck.”

“I’m getting there.” There was a clear smile in her voice. “Let’s see how easy you are this morning.”

She didn’t have to wonder, it was going to be quick, but then they knew that when they’d started. Threading her own hand down her body, she worked herself over quickly until she was pulsing and coming around the rubber dick.

When she felt fingers start to pull it free, she caught Liz’s wrist. “Leave it.” The small shift had her rutting, taking advantage of the angle of the toy as well as the blankets to edge it back in again.

Instead, Liz kissed her. “Insatiable today.”

“I’ve missed having you both.” She shifted, savoring the tiny tremors as they came.

Liz rolled off the bed. “I’ll leave you to have fun then, I do have to shower, and Henry really needs to be up.” As if summoned, Henry shifted, his knee bumping the vibrator and making her gasp. Elizabeth giggled. “Be good.”

“I’ll be very good.” She ground backward, using his leg now to help sift it so she could carry on pleasuring herself.

=MS=

The last out of the shower, Nadine worked a comb through her still-damp hair, pulling on a bra and underwear before tugging a robe into place. Through the closed bedroom door, she could hear Elizabeth’s voice again and as Henry was already gone from the suite, she assumed the person Liz was talking to was him.

On a search for coffee, she tugged the bedroom door open, yawning into the back of her hand as she took two steps into the next room before opening her eyes. Five faces, one more owl-eyed than the rest, stared back at her.

“Oh my god!” Nadine shrieked, stepping back and slamming the door.

A beat later, Elizabeth was slipping in, laughing as Nadine scrambled to dress. “I’m sorry, Darling. Really, I’m very sorry. I didn’t think that you’d risk wandering out this late in the morning wearing…” Her eyes roved her body. “Next to nothing.”

“This is so embarrassing!”

Elizabeth shrugged. “Yes. But not just for you. No one in there will ever want to mention it.” She didn’t try to step closer or offer any comfort just yet, letting Nadine dress completely and finally come to her. “Take a breath.”

Nadine complied.

“They’re all friends.”

“Right.” Her mind ran over the faces that’d been looking back at her. “Wait… Jay’s back?”

Elizabeth nodded. “As of this morning.”

She hadn’t seen Jay in months. A grin slipped across her face despite the embarrassment. “Jay’s back.” She pecked a kiss to Elizabeth’s lips and reached for the door handle, entering the sitting room again, this time properly dressed.

Proving Elizabeth correct, neither Daisy nor Blake acted as if anything had happened only minutes before, the latter rising to pour her a coffee while Jay crossed the room to greet her.

“Welcome back.”

“It’s good to be back.”

The fifth person, though, was trying to play catch-up. “Wait…” Matt pointed from Nadine to the open doorway. “Since when is this a thing?”

Daisy laughed. “You are years behind there, Matt Man, you need to catch up.”

“Years?”

Daisy patted his arm. “A lot of them.”

“Oh. I’m the last to know?”

“Nothing personal.” Elizabeth answered. “But you can understand why the circle had to be small.”

“No, no, I get it. I’m just-” He turned to Nadine. “I’m sorry you were forced to say anything.”


	53. Chapter 53

Finishing another lap of the pool, Nadine rolled over in the water, stretching her arms and legs out to float as her breathing calmed. Staring up at the plain ceiling overhead, she let the sounds of the pool running overtake any thinking. It was calm here, quiet. She could think, or not think, as the case may be.

She still couldn’t manage too many laps at a time without a break, but she was definitely doing better, access to a pool daily definitely wasn’t hurting matters. That it also was a place she could almost hide out improved the appeal as well.

The sound of soft splashing at the water’s surface caught her attention and she twisted, body sinking a moment as she turned upright and began treading water. At the pool’s edge, Bruce was knelt down, his fingers dangling, dripping, just above the surface. Raking her hair out of her face, Nadine smiled at his presence. She was now used to him being around, looking out for her. “Hello.”

He grinned. “I wasn’t sure you’d hear me if I shouted.”

“Probably not.” Tipping forward, she swam to the edge, holding the concrete and looking up at him. “What’s up?”

“There’s a bit of a problem.”

“With?”

“The back access to get back up to the residence.”

Her brows knit together. “I don’t understand.” She dropped lower in the water, almost absently blowing a few bubbles as he elaborated.

“I didn’t get details, but apparently they were doing some work on the electrical back that way and there was a problem, so for the next few hours at least, to get from here back to the residence, you will have to go up the main stairs.”

It took a moment for that to sink in. “But… I don’t have anything appropriate to wear to do that.”

“Just hurry, no one will care.”

“ _I’ll_ care! I’m not some sixteen-year-old girl who can strut around a government building in nothing but a suit and towel! I’m a nearly sixty-year-old woman, Bruce.”

He laughed. “I understand.” He held one hand out. “Are you done with your laps?”

She sighed, making the surface ripple. “Yes, I’m done. Apparently trapped, but done.” His other hand appeared as well and she took both, letting him help hoist her up and out of the water before she wetly padded to the towel waiting on a bench. As she dried, she turned to him with a grin. “I don’t suppose you’d run up and get me something better to wear?”

He was already shaking his head. “Not in my job description, Ma’am, and you know it.”

She worked on drying her hair. “I know. Serves me right for thinking I could always get away with rushing through the back without bringing normal clothes.”

“Well, you made it almost a year.”

“I did, didn’t I.” Sitting to dry her legs, she thought a moment. “Maybe you could ask Henry or Elizabeth to come rescue me from my bad decision?”

“I’ll go ask.” He turned, leaving her on her own. 

Fifteen minutes passed before Bruce stepped back in, a small bag in his hand. “I was sent back with this, Ma’am.”

“Thank you.” She took the bag, slipping into the changing area she’d always ignored. She was happily surprised that the contents weren’t something casual, she was going to have to cut through where most of the day’s work was happening, and even with no makeup and wet hair, having business wear on would at least make her _feel_ less out of place. Stepping back into the humid room, she slung the bag over her shoulder, surprised to see Bruce still waiting. “I didn’t realize you were still here.”

“I forgot to mention that Missus Moran will be up in the residence later today. That was the message I was asked to pass on when I was on my way here the first time.”

“Oh!” Nadine wasn’t expecting Stevie to stop by, but always enjoyed when she did. “Thank you for letting me know.” At the hall, she turned to go straight upstairs while he was heading on further. “Oh, and thank Henry or Elizabeth for doing this.” She gestured to the bag.

He turned. “They were both in a meeting. Mister Moran put the bag together.”

Watching him walk off, she thought to herself that it was quite possibly the final line of comfort finally crossed.

=MS=

Nadine watched as Stevie anxiously twisted the corner of a throw pillow. “I don’t want to stop trying.” She sniffled.

“I understand that.”

“He just…” She gulped a breath. “He thinks we should.”

Nadine could understand Blake’s views. She’d suspected a few weeks ago when he’d gotten uncharacteristically anxious again that he’d been carrying a secret of yet another pregnancy, but he’d never said a word and she’d respected that, fearing that this outcome would happen again. “Why don’t you ever tell your parents about this?”

“I don’t want… She’d get so happy about a baby and then it would be a hundred times worse every time I failed.” Stevie paused. “It’s, I don’t know… different, with you.”

“They’d want to be able to support you.”

“I know.”

“Blake just wants you to be happy and not hurting.”

“A baby would make me happy.”

Nadine moved to sit directly by her on the couch, taking one of her hands. “But there are a lot of ways to get there.”

“He believed in me. He always tried to lift me up and- and help me feel better about myself, even when I didn’t like who I was. He- he said something to me and now apparently it was wrong… he was wrong… and if he was wrong about that, what else is he wrong about?”

“… I don’t follow.”

“He said I had winner eggs. I guess he was wrong.”

Completely confused, her brows bunched together. “When?”

“When mom first took the job? The Secretary job. I- I got stuck there one day and I was stuck with Blake… We- We talked.”

“Stuck there?” Her mind raced, trying to work out what Stevie meant by that.

“There was this lock down.” She shook her head. “It was a long time ago and maybe he just didn’t mean it and was trying to get me to not cry, but it always felt like he meant it, you know? He always sounded sincere and I always wanted to believe him.”

Vaguely, her memory placed the event. “That was… like six years ago.”

“I know.”

“I didn’t realize the two of you had been close that long.” She squeezed her hand. “It’s my opinion, whether you care or not, that you give yourself a break. Sometimes these things take time. Maybe it’ll happen, maybe it won’t, but you are loved no matter what road you choose and what happens in the end.”

The room lapsed into silence for several minutes.

“Blake thinks we should try and adopt.”

“Have you discussed it with him?”

“No.”

“I think you should hear him out.”

Stevie’s eyes came up to her. “Yeah.”

“Give yourself a break, take a breath… Enjoy life a little.”

“Okay.”

=MS=

It was past midnight and Elizabeth was waiting on a call, so to keep her company, Nadine had come down to sit in the Oval with her. Henry was out of town anyway and she’d thought it was silly to wait upstairs alone. She’d kicked off her shoes and was laying flat on her back on one of the couches, hands folded on her stomach as she absently studied the designs of the ceiling.

From the doorway, she heard as Jay leaned in, she couldn’t see him, and he couldn’t see her. “Ma’am, the Secretary called and said Minister Chen is on board for everything we talked about, we just have to get them to the table.”

“Good. That’s good.”

“Do- do you want me to come in here and wait with you?”

“No. I’m fine.”

The door creaked as she guessed he leaned back and then in again. “Blake already go home?”

“He did.”

“You usually hate being alone waiting for these calls.”

Nadine agreed with his statement, Elizabeth always needed some sort of distraction while waiting or her mind always flew to the worst case scenarios. “I’m not alone.”

There was the soft sound of shoes on carpet and then Jay’s face was looking down at her, she grinned up at him as he addressed her. “It’s truly creepy how you can be somewhere and no one notices.”

“She should’ve been the spy.” Elizabeth laughed.

“I would’ve been a horrible spy.” She sat up, resting her arms and chin on the back of the couch. “But I am finding it’s keeping all of you on your toes nicely.”

Clearly deciding he was now invited to stay, Jay rounded the end and sat across from her. “While I have you both here and we’re just waiting, I want your opinions. Chloe is wanting a birthday party that involves pony rides. Is that entirely insane or just how things are done now?”

=MS=

Stumbling slightly, Nadine couldn’t help giggling at the way Elizabeth was tugging her hand. She was blindfolded and being led somewhere in the White House in the near-darkness. “How much further?”

“What are you, five?”

She giggled again. “I think you’re walking me around to just confuse me now.”

“Yes, but also because Jeff hit a problem and needed an extra minute.”

“So, you got our detail in on this secret.”

“Just Jeff. Well… I had Blake roped in but he and Jeff talk too much now and they split duties so you didn’t catch on.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

Elizabeth giggled this time as they stopped walking. “It’s perfect.” Nadine felt as she stood behind her, arms wrapping around her a minute. “We are completely alone here. No one will come in or out, so we can be us.”

“To do what?”

“I’m not sure yet.” Her hands came up and tugged the blindfold loose. “Do you remember the first time I invited you out? We met at that hotel and-”

“Had dinner… Yes, I remember.” A smile appeared. “I remember being so shocked and even a little horrified at what you were proposing.”

“Still shocked and horrified?”

“No.” She shook her head. “Not at all.” The blindfold pulled away and she realized they were in the bowling alley, lights off and the whole space was lit by piles of fairy lights surrounding what looked like a picnic.

“Do you remember the date?”

Nadine had to think, at the time it wasn’t something important worth remembering. “I- I don’t remember.”

Elizabeth held her from behind. “Seven years ago today. Can you believe we’ve been working on this relationship for seven years?”

“It doesn’t feel that long.”

“No, it doesn’t.” She kissed Nadine’s neck. “The first time I saw you, I was speechless. I’d come in early and you weren’t expecting me yet. You were in my office sorting out binders in the desk and you had this dress on and I- I couldn’t breathe. All I could think was how maddeningly gorgeous you were and how that dress hid almost nothing.” Her arms tightened. “You had to be hurting so much that day, but when you looked up, you… you stared with those huge brown eyes of yours. It was like you could see my thoughts.”

“I remember deciding to hate you.”

Elizabeth laughed. “I can understand that.”

“I also remember when I realized I couldn’t.” She turned in Elizabeth’s arms. “I- I have a confession.” She licked her lips before pressing them together. “By the time you’d invited me to that dinner, I’d already allowed myself to have fantasies about you. I think my horror that night was more about the possibility that you somehow had figured that out.” When she was kissed, she kissed back.

“This tonight is about us, Nadine. I have my anniversary with Henry, and we have ours with the three of us in the summer, but this one, this is you and I.” She pulled away, taking her by the hand and leading her to the blanket to sit down. “I realized the other day that I need to take the time and make giving you attention a priority. I know-” She reached up and combed fingers through Nadine’s hair. “I know neither you nor Henry feel very alone because you have one another, but I have to make a better effort of reminding you both that I love you.”

Nadine caught her hand, kissing it before guiding it down. “I know you love me. I love hearing it, but don’t ever worry that I’ve forgotten.” She looked around at the food sitting out. “How about we eat and then you can remind me a little more.”

“Just like our first night?”

She grinned. “Food and then a little fooling around? I think that would work. Though I’m not sure it’s the best idea to try and fool around on the floor anymore.”

Elizabeth caught her in a kiss. “We can fool around upstairs.”

“Sounds good.”


	54. Chapter 54

Casually touching Elizabeth’s elbow, Nadine turned to walk away. It was how they showed affection in public, a nothing touch that no one ever noticed. It was hello and goodbye and I love you all rolled into a single touch.

The three of them were in South Carolina, Elizabeth was giving a speech and she and Henry had tagged along. Henry for the photo ops and she just because. It was nice to be out when they got the chance, two years in the White House and she had developed a love/hate relationship with living there.

“Would you like to go back to the car, Ma’am, or listen to the speech?”

Bruce was at her side as always. She liked him, they found plenty to talk about in all the hours they spent together. “You don’t mind listening?”

“Not at all.” He glanced around. “I believe the best place is over to the side on the left. There is some equipment on the right that might block watching her.”

“Lead the way.” When he started working through the people gathered on their side of the barricades, she followed. She was used to this, staring at the back of his suit any time they went anywhere. After Henry and then Elizabeth, he made her feel safer than anyone else on earth. At the end where the stage met the barricades holding the waiting crowd back, Bruce held his hand out so she could take the prime place to watch Elizabeth speak.

She knew the speech by heart, had helped Elizabeth review and edit it, but she still enjoyed getting to listen to the passion that pours out as it was spoken over a live crowd. Elizabeth always did have a charismatic way in front of an audience, even if she still nearly had a panic attack before each time so got up to give a speech. She turned back to Bruce. “She sounds good today. Calm.”

“She’ll make an impression.” He agreed.

As she turned back to the stage, the air suddenly felt hot and it was as if all sound stopped. At first she wondered if there was a problem with the audio equipment, but then her vision went white and then dark and her back slammed into something hard, back of her skull cracking painfully as she bit her tongue.

The air was now thick, unwilling to fill her lungs. Fighting to make her eyes work, she felt around for whatever her hand was on, something gritty and rough. She coughed, lungs burning in their desperation for air.

She could feel we on her cheek, against her neck, and she couldn’t understand what had happened, what was going on. It was as of the world was burning and she was trapped in the middle of it.

Attempting to more her legs, she felt herself groan in her chest and realized there was no accompanying sound, there was no sound at all. She couldn’t hear anything. That, more than anything, scared her. Her vision was slow to clear and she couldn’t hear… She was at the mercy of the world around her and she didn’t know where anyone had gone… She had no idea where Elizabeth or Henry had gone.

Hands suddenly were on her, grabbing her, trying to pull her until she felt herself cry out in pain. The hands stopped pulling, but then a body was over her, pinning her down and making her cry again until a hand covered her mouth. She understood they wanted her to keep silent, but she wasn’t sure if she should or not. Squeezing her eyes closed, slowly her vision began to return in one eye, bringing Bruce into focus.

Nadine stilled, going silent. If Bruce wanted her quiet, she knew to obey.

He pulled up enough to speak to her, but she still couldn’t hear him over the ringing and shook her head, forcing one hand up to gesture to her ear. He seemed to understand and pulled out his phone, tapping on the screen and holding it up so she could read it.

_Gunshots. Don’t move._

Nadine nodded, thankful to have him there, covering and shielding her. She had no idea what had happened, but trusted that he’d protect her no matter what.

With that thought, Nadine succumbed to blackness.

=MS=

She woke slowly to pain everywhere, muscles trying to get her away from whatever was causing it.

“Lay still! Lay still!”

Bruce’s voice made her try and open her eyes. She could just hear him now. “I-” She coughed. “Hear… you…”

His eyes met hers. “Good. Now, lay still. The gunmen have been dealt with, but you’re pinned under a piece of the stage, Ma’am. I can’t move you safely without help.”

“I feel…wet.”

“You’re bleeding…” There was clear concern on his face. “I’m not sure where all of it is coming from. I’ll get you out of here, though.”

She tried to make herself smile, but her face hurt. “I know you will… Where are they?” She knew she didn’t have to elaborate.

“Doctor McCord was on the edge of the stage and was blown clear. He’s okay enough to be pissed about being evacuated separately from his wife.”

“And Elizabeth?”

“She’ll live.”

She took that to mean she was injured. “Bruce?”

“Yes, Ma’am?”

“Don’t let anyone take pictures of me.” She had no idea what that even came out. “I don’t- I don’t want them to see me on the news before they see me in person.” A tear slipped out of her open eye. “Please?”

“Of course.” Bruce stood, pulling off his blazer and laying it over her. “If it looks like someone is about to, I’ll cover your face.”

“Thank you.” She let her eye shut. “Is it bad that the pain stopped in my leg?”

“Ma’am?”

“My leg hurt and now it doesn’t.”

Shouting voices suddenly neared and Bruce stood without answering her, ordering whoever it was to help him move something and then…

Then she screamed. The pain rushed back in full force, overwhelming her entire body.

Still covered in the jacket, arms lifted her, gingerly carrying her over debris. Against her cheek, she felt as Bruce addressed someone. “Tell POTUS the Miss Tolliver is being evacuated now. She’s alive.”

“Yes, Sir.” The person ran way.

“Don’t let me die, Bruce.”

“Not on my watch, Ma’am.”

“I’m probably ruining your suit; I think you get to call me Nadine right now.” Bruce didn’t and what felt like forever later she felt herself being laid on something soft. “Don’t leave me, Bruce…”

“Of course not.”

=MS=

A pair of hands were holding her left hand; she could feel their breath against the skin of her fingers. Slowly, she forced her brain to try and make her body work, succeeding in bending one finger the tiniest bit.

The face pulled away from her hand though the hands didn’t give up their grip. “It’s okay to wake up. You’re safe in the hospital.”

It took a lot of effort, but she managed to get one eye open. “Bruce…”

He smiled. “Nice to see you awake. It’s been a while.”

Her eyes wandered the room, trying to get her bearings. Outside the door she could make out several Secret Service agents standing guard. “Where are we?”

“Still in South Carolina.” He drew a breath. “A unilateral decision was made to send the President and First Gentleman back to DC where it was safe.”

His words made her chest squeeze. “Unilateral meaning they took her back by force.” There was no way Elizabeth would have left her in another state alone. Not after the attack they’d all just suffered through.

“That’s correct, Ma’am. She was, um, shall we say less than pleased that it was out of her hands.”

Pain pulsed through her body, making her gasp and stiffen up.

“Just relax, Miss Tolliver. The pump will click in a few seconds and help with the pain. It seems to be set about five seconds too long.”

“How bad?”

“Ma’am?”

She was afraid to really look at herself, her last memories were of being pinned and of no longer being aware of pain in her legs. “How bad off am I? Did I… Did I lose…”

The hands around hers squeezed to get her attention. “Ma’am. Look at me.” His voice was as gentle as ever, cajoling her into focusing on him. When she did, he carried on. “You will be fine. Okay? You cracked your head pretty good on the pavement when were knocked back. You have a concussion and it looks like you bit your tongue, so talking will be a bit painful for a bit. But then you don’t mind keeping quiet.” His smile told her he was hoping she’d laugh too. “As far as other injuries, you have a lot of cuts from the blast, they’ll irritate but they’re all minor. Your wrist is broken, we think you instinctively tried to catch your fall. Your legs are badly bruised, and you have small fractures in both shins. It’s nothing catastrophic, but the doctor wants you to stay off your feet and you’ll be watched for a long while for clots.”

“Off my feet?”

“You’ll be returning home in a few days under orders to be in a wheelchair. Given the way you look, I’m in agreement with the doctor.”

“But… I can’t wheel myself around with a wrist that’s… whatever it is.”

“Broken.”

“Right.” She stared at her feet a moment. “A few days?”

“Yes, Ma’am. They want to keep an eye on you before we take you back to DC. There’re some valid concerns about getting you in the air and having a problem. We’ll be flying back with a medical team.”

“Oh.”

Bruce pulled away, reaching into his pocket an pulling out a small sheet of paper, a smile growing. “I do have something that hopefully helps though.” He unfolded the page and gently put it in her hand and then easing her hand up so she could see what she was holding. His voice was soft. “Elizabeth and Henry left you a note.”

=MS=

Three days after the explosion, Nadine waited anxiously as Bruce pushed her off the airplane, eager to see her family, the people important to her. When she realized they weren’t in sight, no sign of a motorcade or dozens of agents, her heart sank. “They aren’t here.”

His hand moved from the handles of her chair to her shoulder, giving it a squeeze as he said nothing.

Just as they reached the bottom of the ramp, she heard tires on tarmac… lots of tires… She looked up, face splitting into a grin. Elizabeth’s motorcade was rushing to a stop and then doors popped open everywhere. It wasn’t just Henry and Elizabeth, but her staff as well, all the people Nadine considered closest friends and then they were all rushing to her side, sharing how thrilled they were to see her back in DC. The fuss was overwhelming, bringing tears to her eyes, but it also gave cover for her loves to hug and touch her, kissing her cheeks. It wasn’t exactly the welcome she was longing for, but it would do for now.

=MS=

Bruce had insisted on being the one to push her clear to the sitting room before relinquishing her care to Henry for a bit, assuring them all he’d only be a short distance away should she need to go anywhere outside their quarters.

Alone at last, Nadine pulled first Elizabeth close to hold and kiss her, shifting her weight until Elizabeth was in her lap, fisting her hands into the back of her blouse until three days of fear, stress, and pain hit their limit and the sobs started. She knew it was loud and messy, but she couldn’t make it stop, didn’t want to make it stop. She held on, crying until she had exhausted herself.

“Let’s get you to bed.” Henry whispered.

Nadine shook her head. “No. Please? I want to stay up. Just… Let me see out the window? I wasn’t able to look out while I was at the hospital, the bed was in the wrong place.” She sloppily wiped tears from her face. “I’ve been in bed long enough.”

He squeezed her arm affectionately. “Okay. If you- if you want to go downstairs or anything, Bruce is only outside for you.”

“I’ll be okay. I- I don’t want to go down, it’ll just cause more of a scene.”

Henry nodded, pressing a kiss to her head before pulling away. “I love you. We’re glad you’re home.”


	55. Chapter 55

“Bruce says he has no problem taking you downstairs for a few hours.” Elizabeth was halfway through eating her breakfast as Nadine awkwardly pushed her food around her plate. “You could catch up with Blake or… Jay spends a lot of time in his office. I’m sure he’d love a bit of company.”

She’d come home five days ago and hadn’t left their quarters since. “No, I’d like to stay up here out of the way.” Her voice was barely above a whisper now and it felt like each day it got a bit softer.

“Nadine…” It came out as a sigh. “Darling…”

“You have a busy schedule today; you need to get downstairs. The country needs to see their leader is still at the helm after the attack.” She pushed her plate away, aware when Elizabeth’s eyes landed on the uneaten food as she frowned. “I’m fine up here.”

After a minute, Elizabeth nodded as she stood, pressing a kiss to her forehead before moving away. “I’ll be back up for lunch.”

“You don’t need to-”

“Blake makes my schedule, I don’t really get much say in the matter, you know that. Until you are back on your feet, he’s blocked out lunch every day.”

“Tell him he didn’t have to do that.”

“ _You_ can tell him, that’s a fight I’m not going to win.” She paused. “Are you sure you don’t want me to send Bruce in? He could get you down to the garden? I- I know you can’t really swim, but you could sit in the pool?”

“No.”

“… Okay… Well, if you need anything, let me know. Okay? And Bruce is going to check in on you later.” She checked her watch. “And Henry is back this afternoon.”

“Okay.” She didn’t fully look up, already mentally curling in on herself. With each passing day she found it harder to be so dependent on everyone else, so reliant on everyone to do even the smallest thing. Dressing required Elizabeth’s help, or Henry’s when he was home, getting in or out of bed, bathing, even using the bathroom was supposed to be done with assistance, though she remained defiantly independent on that one, biting back cries of agony as she did so. She was well and truly stuck in the wheelchair for at least several more weeks and there was no way she was letting anyone get a look at her while she was in it.

Elizabeth slipped out to head downstairs and Nadine slowly worked the chair away from the table and to the window. Freedom was out there, people wandering around without a care in the world. People who didn’t worry their loved ones might die every day, people who didn’t have constant nightmares about being blown up and then isolated so far away.

Shifting painfully in the seat, Nadine tried to not think about the other pains, the new pains that were building upon those to do with her recovery. Much of her pain management had always involved being physically active and now… Now it was as if her hips and back were coordinating to leave her in yet another layer of pain. It made an errant tear find its way down her cheek.

Their quarters were silent now, with everyone busy working. Nadine looked around. She hadn’t seen anything but these walls in days. Sequestered away, the President’s secret. At the end of the day, if she was honest with herself, that was what she was… A secret. A thing that wasn’t meant to exist, and now…

Now she was a burden as well.

Broken, in pain, a liability if Elizabeth interrupted her schedule to suddenly care for her. The hospital was a major reminder of that- The world had to keep turning and that meant Elizabeth couldn’t linger and worry over her.

“Ma’am?”

She didn’t even bother look up, she’d been too lost in thought to hear the door opening. “I don’t want to go anywhere today, Bruce.”

“Are you certain, Ma’am?”

“Please go, Bruce.” She sensed as he hesitated and wondered if he’d try and insist. “There is one thing you can do for me.”

“… Anything, Ma’am.”

“Could you locate Matt for me?”

“Matt, Ma’am?”

“The President’s speechwriter. He’s an old friend and there’s- there’s something I’d like to ask him to do for me.”

“Of course, Ma’am.” He paused again, but after a moment, the door clicked shut again. He’d been nothing but kind and understanding, going above and beyond to try and accommodate her, but she simply didn’t have the will to care about his efforts. Not now. They were only eight days past the bombing and she didn’t know when she’d care again… If she’d care.

She longed to be held, properly held, but both Elizabeth and Henry had been reluctant to snuggle her between them, too worried about accidentally causing her pain. It meant, though, that she’d spent nearly a week relegated to the edge of the bed, a small distance separating her from limbs that could accidentally bump or kick her.

For the first time in years, she felt like she was on the outside.

=MS=

Henry’s fingers brushed her shoulder and she shrugged them off. “Nadine… it’s been three weeks.” His voice was quiet, but she still heard the hint of begging. “This isn’t good for you.”

“I- I can’t.”

He stepped forward to face her, but she turned way. She’d seen him in years past with Elizabeth- he would fight for her… Fight _with_ her, demanding she care for herself. Her heart wanted him to fight for her, with her, too. Instead, he sighed, straightening up and starting across the room. “The doctor said there was no reason you couldn’t be up and about now. He- he said the pain should be bearable.”

Her pain, though, now had nothing at all to do with the incident.

“We could have a movie night tonight. Go down and watch a film that hasn’t been released yet?” He waited, but she didn’t answer. Eventually he sighed again and turned away. Leaving her alone.

Once the door clicked shut, Nadine did what she’d done every day for the past three weeks. She cried.

Anymore she wasn’t even sure why she was doing it except her body seemed to need it. She cried over the nightmares that kept her from sleeping, the memories that plagued her during the day. She cried over the loss, however temporary, of her mobility, the one thing that had been most vital to her life. She cried over the loss of her dignity, her privacy, her sense of autonomy. She cried over the pain that seemed to never stop. She cried over feeling so alone every day since it’d happened, every night since it’d happened.

And then she cried because she’d been crying so much.

She was both permanently exhausted and still unable to ever sleep, she was never hungry and yet longed for something to eat, she missed being around people and yet adamantly refused spending any time with any of her friends.

She didn’t know how to make the circles stop.

She’d gotten on a plane of her own free will and under her own steam and had gotten off it being pushed by someone else with the world seemingly dictating her every move.

Rolling her chair back to the bedroom, she pulled open the bottom bedside drawer. This was becoming her norm too. She had four hours or so before Elizabeth came upstairs and Bruce, well, he’d knock and assume she was resting and leave her in peace. Popping several of what she pulled out of a bag into her mouth, she didn’t even bother trying to get herself to the bed. There was no point. What had started as an attempt to curb the constant pain had led to her needing more to get the same effect. Slumping in her chair, she waited for the high to kick in.

For decades she’d prided herself in never reaching the point of being thoroughly stoned, but in recent weeks she tiptoed closer and closer to that line. She wanted a little more of that faraway feeling where the world was safe, and she wasn’t broken, and they didn’t have to hide.

She wanted a little more feeling free.

=MS=

Staring at Blake standing in her bedroom really killed her high. She frowned at him but didn’t say a word, not entirely sure he was really there.

“Yes, I’m real, Nadine.”

She wondered how he knew she’d questioned it.

“What day is it today?”

“…Twenty-third.”

“No.” He frowned. “It’s the second.”

She’d lost a week and a half?

“Are you still in pain or have you moved on to just escaping?”

“I’m in pain.” She tried to straighten up to look more authoritative, but hissed as that pain throbbed back into being. “Why are you here?”

He held up a hand and began counting off with each point. “I serve at the pleasure. This past month has been destroying Elizabeth and she’s too upset to confront you herself. You’re family to me. I needed to see for myself how bad it’d gotten.”

“I’m fine.”

“You haven’t left the residence in over a _month,_ Nadine! You are not fine.” He crossed to her side. “According to Henry, you should be up and walking around.” He put his hands out. “Let’s go. Up on your feet, I’ll help.”

“…No.”

“That’s not an option here.”

“At least let me enjoy my high before you take them away and then torment me.”

“If you work for it, I won’t take them away at all. How are you even getting gummies in here, that is what you use, right? You haven’t left in weeks and I doubt you just ordered it in the mail.”

“A friend buys them for me.”

She watched as he seemed to consider that, probably working out who that had access around here would be willing to risk bringing drugs into the building. “Matt or Jay?” He shook his head. “Who am I kidding? I’ll be talking to Matt later about this.”

“He was a hard sell on cooperating. Go easy on him.” The last thing she ever wanted was to get Matt into trouble.

“I’ll keep that in mind.” He wiggled his fingers. “Come on, up you get. Once you’re moving, you’ll start to feel like your old self, I promise.”

Putting her hands in his, she let him help her stand, wobbling a moment before she remembered balance.

“Now, we’re going to be going downstairs, so… what first? Shower?”

“Blake…”

“Shower it is.” He answered in place of her not doing so. Keeping hands on her, he guided her into the bathroom and then to the shower stall. “Be honest, can I leave you to undress and get in on your own or not?”

Nadine felt herself blush. “Probably not.”

It didn’t seem to phase him, however. Turning, he gathered several towels, setting the stack out before draping one over the toilet lid. “Sit, undress there, wrap a towel around yourself. Call me when you’re ready and I’ll make sure you get in safely and then I’ll leave you to it.”

“You don’t have to do this.”

He sighed, turning at the doorway to face her, leaning against the edge of the door. “You forget, I’ve been here before. And then… My obligations were completely professional. They’re not anymore. And I- I have spent weeks watching the two people who love you more than anything else on earth flounder as they’ve tried to work out how to help. You haven’t talked to anyone, you haven’t tried to do anything normal. The world misses you, Nadine.”

It felt like it took forever to shower as she found herself easily winded. By the time she’d finished, she was almost in tears, but she determinedly got herself out and wrapped in a large towel, not at all surprised when Blake let himself in a beat later.

Without a word, he knelt and used yet another towel to dry from her knees down so she wouldn’t have to bend before standing again and drying her arms before carefully working to get the bulk of the moisture out of her hair. Finding the blow dryer in the cabinet, he meticulously used it before leaving her alone for a second, returning with clothing from her closet.

“You went through my clothes?”

Blake shrugged. “I’m pretty sure we’re at the stage in our relationship where that stopped being entirely bizarre a long time ago.” He left the items on the counter and started to step out. “Though I have to say, with you and Elizabeth being almost the same size, figuring out whose clothing is who’s in that closet was a bit of a test.”

That made her nearly crack a smile. “I know.” She met his eyes. “Thank you, Blake.”

“Call out if you need help.”

She refused to need help as she slowly dressed. He’d brought in long, loose pants and a long-sleeved but lightweight blouse. She was self-conscious of the small lines that now marred her skin and preferred to stay as covered as possible. The clothes, though, swam on her now. Weeks of barely eating more than a bite or two had seriously affected her weight, not that she’d had anything she could afford to lose to begin with.

Stepping out of the bathroom, Nadine looked around, spotting a pair of her flats waiting by the wheelchair. Blake’s eyes were on her as she managed to cross to it under her own power.

“Elizabeth said you haven’t been eating. I would’ve thought the gummies would’ve boosted your appetite.”

“Usually. Reliving nearly dying every time I close my eyes tends to kill it again right away.”

Clearly at a loss, he waved to the chair. “I know you don’t want seen in it, but you’re going to ride down and then once we get to the West Wing. You can walk there.”

“I don’t want to look weak.”

“Nadine… absolutely no one who matters could ever see you as anything other than strong.”

Hesitantly, she took a seat, biting back an objection when he helped her with his shoes. “This isn’t your job, you know.”

“My job is to make Elizabeth’s life easier, to worry about things so she doesn’t have to worry so much, to do literally anything to keep her world turning. So… it could be argued that this is exactly my job.” He remained knelt down, patting her knee. “Tell me one thing.”

“What?”

“One thing that plays over and over in your mind. Tell me one thing.”

She stared at her lap and then the stitching of his suit. “I- I got left behind. Everyone came back to DC and I got left behind like some secret that couldn’t be acknowledged.”

His hand took hers. “I am sorry. If it helps, Elizabeth had to be hauled onto that plane by Jeff and two other agents. The entire flight back she paced angrily. Jeff and I spent the whole time being screamed at and Henry… well, he didn’t exactly try and calm her down. They fought hard, Nadine.”

“Then why won’t they fight now? Why won’t Henry fight now? He has always fought for what Elizabeth needs most and now he’s-”

“Heartbroken.” He cut in. “You were the closest to the blast, Nadine. He was taken from the site thinking you were dead. We heard you were pinned and bleeding and it felt so hopeless. There were pictures of the destruction… How could anyone survive that?” He squeezed her hand again. “We all forgot for a while who we were talking about. You weren’t going to let some homegrown terrorist get the best of you, not so long as you had an ounce of willpower left in you. But… It was hard to shake that feeling that you might be dead.”

“I- I didn’t know.”

He rose, moving to the back of her chair. “Shall we?”

“I’ve felt so alone.”

‘We’ve all been right here waiting for you to be ready to accept our help.”


	56. Chapter 56

The second Inauguration Day started differently than the first. Instead of doing her best to keep warm standing on some DC street, Nadine was sitting in the Oval, waiting to ride over to the Capitol Building. The weather was warmer this year, but they’d agreed that she should conserve her energy for later in the day, so instead she was marking time by watching four-year-old Wesley drive cars across the carpet while he waited for his new daddy to finish handling some last-minute work.

It had been the kids, really, that had helped Nadine get past the bombing. A few short weeks after the day Blake had forced her to start down the path to healing, he and Stevie had announced they would be adopting a newborn baby only two short months later. William was almost two now and he kept much of the White House staff on their toes. As the first grandchild, Nadine hated to admit that he was more than a little spoiled. But now, Stevie and Blake had just finished the adoption process for Wesley. Inauguration Day was almost a two-fold celebration of Elizabeth’s reelection and the newest member of the family.

“Nana!” Wesley exclaimed. It was close, she decided, to her given name and William had taken to it quickly. He pointed to his sneaker. “Fix my shoe?”

She smiled sweetly at him and patted her lap. “Come here and I’ll tie your shoe for you.” As he rushed across and scrambled onto her lap, she let out a laugh. “Here we go.” She pulled him in close. “I’ll show you. You take this one and loop it here… then you take this one and go around the little loop, see? Then we can push it through and it’s a little bow.”

Wesley clapped. “Good job!”

“Thank you!”

He tipped his head back, twisting to look up at her upside down. “Nana?”

“What, Baby?”

“Do you have candy?”

“I don’t have candy right now.”

His eyes twinkled as he straightened, pointing to the desk. “Gammy has candy in there!”

“Daddy said no candy for either of us unless we are good today.”

He put a finger over his lips. “Shh. I won’t tell.”

That made her laugh, hard. Calling through the doorway, she aimed to get Blake’s attention. “Your son is spending too much time around Elizabeth!”

After a moment, he walked in. “I’m aware of that, but why this time?”

“I told him you said no candy and he said he wouldn’t tell.” Her eyes caught on the clock. “You need to get going, you know.”

“I know, I- I was just hoping to get this Germany thing wrapped up first.”

“Germany will be right where you left it when you get back.” She put Wesley on the floor. “Go bring Nana your coat, Sweetie.”

“No!” He stared defiantly until she arched a brow at him and then burst into giggles, running to drag his coat off Elizabeth’s chair. He dodged Blake’s hands when he tried to stop him to wrangle it on him. “No. Nana can help me.” He instead thrust the coat into her arms. “Nana puts coats on and gives cuddles, Nana doesn’t carry.” He parroted what he’d been told multiple times.

“That’s right.” She placed a kiss into his dark hair. “Nana gives cuddles.”

“And candy!” He burst into laughter again.

Blake finally caught his son, scooping him up. “How about Daddy carries you and we go find Mommy?”

“Okay.” He stilled in his arms. “Bye-bye Nana!”

“Bye-bye, sweet boy.” She watched them leave before frowning at the abandoned cars on the floor. Part of her, the part that worried over the trip hazard, wanted to clear them up before some unaware person came through and fell, but she knew Elizabeth or anyone would tell her to leave it for someone else to handle. There was no one else around though. Pushing up off the couch, she slowly crossed to where Wesley’s toys were scattered about. Slowly, she leaned down and began clearing them up, or at least into a pile up against the front of the desk. It took more of her concentration than it used to, clearing things off the floor and she didn’t realize she was no longer alone unto Bruce spoke.

“What are you doing?”

Just as slowly, she straightened. “Moving Wesley’s toys.”

He frowned, eyes searching.

Nadine sighed, turning back to where she’d been sitting, one hand catching her against the arm of the couch as she passed. “I’ve got it.” She sat, bending forward to pick up the cane that she’d tucked along the front of the couch. “See?”

“You do know the whole point of that thing is that you use it, right?”

“It was six feet, Bruce.” She stood again, leaning into the cane as she moved toward the door. Her coat was in a chair in Blake’s office. “I’m fine, I didn’t fall. Is it time to get to the Capitol?”

“Yes, Ma’am. If we leave now, you’ll have plenty of time to walk to the staging area.”

Nadine nodded. “Good.” She planned on getting through this day under her own steam. “Let’s get going then.”

=MS=

Looking over the railing, Nadine couldn’t believe the size of the crowd stretching out before her. It was her fourth inauguration spent getting this view, one left to go when Elizabeth attended the one for her predecessor on four years. There was plenty of time before the event started, people were milling about finding seats. For now, she simply sat, bundled against the chilly air, and watched the view.

“Were you wanting to walk out with the President, Ma’am, or stay here?”

She worried her gate was too slow to walk with Henry and Elizabeth. “I’ll stay here. But- could you let me know when they arrive?”

Bruce nodded. “Of course, Ma’am.”

Nadine barely noticed the time pass before it was Henry instead of Bruce who found her at her seat. He sat quickly beside her, leaning in. “You okay?”

“Fine.”

She watched him looking her over. “Bruce said you were going to wait out here.”

“It’s a long walk. I didn’t want to slow things down today.”

“But… You’re okay?”

She playfully rolled her eyes. “I’m fine, Henry.”

He nodded. “I just worried it meant something happened to you this morning.” He took her hand a moment. “Today is just so busy, I don’t want you to get lost in the madness.”

“Wesley took good care of me earlier and I promise I didn’t try any heroics coming downstairs, I used the elevator.”

That made him smile. It’d been a point of argument for some time as they all tried to convince her that there were things she needed to accept she couldn’t do anymore. It’d taken two falls for her to concede that they were right.

“I’m going to go back to Elizabeth. The kids are here, they’ll be out in a minute.”

“Okay. Is Layla with Jason?”

Henry glanced back toward the doors. “Yes, she is.”

She arched a brow. “And do we still think they’re pregnant and just not telling anyone?” Layla had suddenly appeared on Jason’s arm at Thanksgiving and then again at Christmas, surprising all of them. He’d never mentioned a girlfriend or even an interest and then suddenly turned up with her for the holidays. The surprise guest had left Nadine spending both days feeling exceptionally anxious about the risk of being outed, but Layla was a sweet girl. She and Elizabeth had spent Christmas night dissecting the reasons for the girl’s sudden appearance.

“Elizabeth says yes.”

“if so, it could be Jason’s doing you know. He is aware of how much his sister has struggled.”

“Maybe.”

“Go back to Liz, I’ll see if I can’t work it out.” She shooed him away.

=MS=

Stepping off the elevator on their second floor, Nadine wasn’t surprised that Henry was waiting with his arms out. “Come here, Darling.” He pulled her into a hug, holding her tight. “I missed being able to hold you today.”

She tugged his face down to kiss him. “It’s almost over.” There were still multiple balls they had to stop in at. “A few hours this evening.”

“I wish you were coming with us.”

“I know.” She took his hand, letting him help her to the sitting room. “But I’ll be here waiting for you to get back.” Through the sitting room they moved to the bedroom where Elizabeth was getting ready. “I promise to wait up.”

After she’d recovered from the explosion, they’d both become much more affectionate with her, nearly getting caught more than once in an embrace that would’ve been difficult to explain away. She spent a lot more time on the first floor in one of their office whenever she was welcome, which was quite often. Nadine had to admit, the second half of Elizabeth’s first term had left her much busier and more involved in politics than the first half had.

One thing that had never left had been the arthritis pain. It had only gotten worse until she’d had to address it. The end result of which left her not nearly as active as she’d once been and dependent, when anyone was looking anyway, on a cane to keep her steady.

It also meant that she had to truly assess whether she could manage taking part in something or not. Grandkids she could manage, getting from Jay’s office to Elizabeth’s, and the speech today. But then she was accepting that things like stairs, chasing someone down, and fancy balls were out.

In her dress, Elizabeth appeared in front of Nadine, pulling her into a gentle kiss. “I love you, Darling.”

“I love you too.” She rested their foreheads together. “I look forward to taking this off you tonight.” Letting her cane go, she straightened Elizabeth’s necklace and began straightening the decorative trim of the dress.

“Nadine, it’s fine.” Henry jumped in before Elizabeth could begin to whine about it. “I promise to get her home as fast as possible.” His words made both women smile. He pulled them both in close. “I love both of you. Today was a big day and I know we’ll all be tired tonight, but I just want to stop for a second and think about everything we’ve got to be thankful for. Think of everything we’ve accomplished and gone through together. We’ve raised three great kids…” They’d agreed long ago, at Nadine’s deciding, that she had to respect Roman’s desires to not have anything to do with her. “We have a wonderful son-in-law and now two grandsons.”

“And maybe a third grandkid on the way.” Elizabeth added.

“We’ll see.” He kissed her hair. “State Department, intelligence work, not we’re here. And still… This right here, the three of us, this is the most important thing I think I’ve ever been a part of.” He tightened the arm around Nadine.

Elizabeth reached for her hand. “I agree. It’s going to be a busy next few years, but this is more important. If I had to choose, I’d be back on the farm tomorrow just so I get to keep you.”

Nadine understood what they were doing. She’d suffered for a while with poor confidence in herself, in her part in their family and relationship, so now when they had to be apart, the two of them took the time to shore her up. “The farm feels so far away.”

“I know.” Elizabeth kissed her. “Four more years and we walk away from all this and spend the rest of our lives putting us first. The three of us. We’ve made it over a decade already, four more should be easy enough.”

“We’ll do our best.” Nadine agreed.


	57. Chapter 57

Limping across the room, Nadine gathered the last of the things she was insistent on packing herself. In a day, they’d be moved to Charlottesville, away from the busyness of DC and government work. She’d had this life, in one version or another, for decades, first as a Senator’s aide, then as his Chief of Staff, then his transition to State and through his death. Her career should have ended there, possibly even her life, if certain actors had gotten the opportunity, but instead she’d been given a gift- another four years making amends and then playing a supporting role for a decade more.

The excitement of DC was in her DNA, but now it was time to move on. To walk away for good. It was a younger person’s game and she was okay with that.

“Got everything?” Henry came up behind her, collecting the already zipped bag on the bed.

“I can get that.”

He chuckled. “No.”

She shot him an exasperated look, but let it go. “How are the contractors doing?” Last fall they’d hired contractors to begin renovations on the farmhouse, adding a third vanity upstairs, an extension to the bedroom on the first floor, giving it an en suite should stairs ever, finally, prove simply too much.

“I was told they’re about done. Should be out by the time we get there.” He pecked a kiss to her temple. “Also, the trainer arrived this morning for the horses.”

That made her stop packing and finally turn. “Really?”

He shrugged. “If we’re going to be there, no reason they can’t come home early. And… don’t tell Elizabeth this part, but Alison is flying in tonight. She wants it to be a surprise.”

“I won’t say a word.” When he tugged the book out of her hands, and pulled her close, she leaned into him. “Another day and we can do this without worrying about getting caught.”

“Somehow that day feels longer than the last ten years.” He sighed. “I love you, Darling.”

“I love you too.” She patted his chest and righted herself. “Now, I have to finish this bag and I’m pretty sure you have things to finish downstairs. Go, I’ll be here when you get back.”

“You sure you’re okay?” His hands dropped to her waist and then a little lower, massaging where he knew she often felt the most pain. “You’ve been on your feet a lot lately.”

“Don’t start babying me, Henry.” It was both endearing and a bit grating when he got it in his head that she needed fussed over.

“It’s not babying, it’s me loving you.”

She chuckled. “Okay.”

=MS=

She’d stayed behind for the ceremony entirely this time, instead keeping track of her grandsons while everyone else oversaw the last steps of the transition. By the time Elizabeth had gotten back, she’d already been in the car waiting, taking the risk for once that they might be spotted, and pulling Elizabeth close when she’d slid in, kissing her in greeting.

Stepping hours later into the house they’d not seen in nearly eight years; Nadine drew a deep breath.

“This is it, we’re home.” Elizabeth wrapped one arm around her. “Home forever.”

She tightened her arm around Elizabeth’s waist. “This has been my home for a long time.” She smiled at her. “By your side. Even through the hardest days, this was where I felt the most safe.”

Elizabeth seemed to consider her words a moment. “Do you regret any of it? Do you regret agreeing to spending a life in the shadows, as a secret?”

Tugging her so they were face to face, Nadine tracked the fingers of her free hand along the features of her face, cataloguing the new lines and wrinkles. “No. Was it easy? Of course not, but… when is something worth it ever easy? I regret doubting it would ever work for the long term, I- I regret not trusting that you meant it when you said you’d care for me. I regret holding back. But… I don’t regret agreeing to spend the rest of my life with you.” She kissed her quickly. “And now we don’t have to worry about being seen anymore. I can hold your hand wherever I like, hold you.” She smiled. “I can kiss you when I want to.”

Elizabeth laughed. “I’m about to finally meet the last layer of Nadine Tolliver, aren’t I?”

“Perhaps. And that reminds me of something else. Something I’ve never done before.”

“What’s that?”

There were no nerves suddenly creeping up and she took that to mean this was the right thing. “I want to change my name. Now that we’re free of the scrutiny, I want to be Nadine McCord.”

She watched as Elizabeth’s face shifted from surprise to delight. “Really?”

“When I was young, I refused to lose my identity to a man… Then it was because I’d worked to hard to make a name for myself… But now? Now that’s all behind me.” She exhaled the breath she’d been holding. “I want to show that I belong beside the people I love.”

“Nadine McCord.” She tested it out. “I can’t- I’m so overwhelmed that you want to do this.” She pulled her into a tight hug. “I didn’t think it was possible to love you more. We should tell Henry as soon as he gets back inside and then… And then we’ll call the lawyer and get paperwork drawn up as soon as he can take care of it.”

“I- I already told Henry I was going to bring it up when the time was right. And… the attorney already has the paperwork sighed. He’s just waiting on me to tell him to electronically file it.” She glanced to the clock. “There’s still time, he could even get it in today.”

“The first day of the rest of our lives and you’d start it as Nadine McCord?”

“I would.” The kiss that followed was rough and sloppy and so full of bliss, she laughed when Elizabeth finally pulled away.

“Go! Go call him! Then we can spend forever being the family we were meant to be. ‘The McCords’, the three of us.” She bent down and gathered the dropped cane, pressing it back into Nadine’s hand.

Turning away, Nadine got as far as the kitchen doorway before looking back. Henry had just come in and Elizabeth was exuberantly sharing the news and they both looked so happy. So happy about her. About having her. This, she mentally told herself, was exactly how family should feel. This was exactly how she wanted the rest of her life to go.

She swallowed back joyful tears. The rest of her life lay before them all. Together. She as Nadine McCord, the way she was certain it was meant to be.


End file.
